#you said corries and love languages and i blacked out until this was done

[dogmascutie]

okay dee here is my question for the corrie guard. whose love language is physical touch bc I WISH TO HUG

OKAY NOEL i love this so so much and got over-involved in my thoughts, so i’m going to talk about ALL THE CORRIES’ LOVE LANGUAGES starting with physical touch 🥰 i gotta shout out @jangofettswife for coming up with a lot of these ocs and generously allowing me to contribute to their details. we ironed out theirs and the commander personalities together, so again, a lot of credit goes to her 💞

additionally, these are not singular love language, just the ones i thought of immediately for them! i think they’re all a mix depending on the situation 💞 but some of these boys totally stick out as physical touch guys, etc etc

corrie guard and their love languages:

physical touch

thorn. he’s not the best at expressing his emotions verbally, but you know when he wraps you in a long hug, chin tucked into your shoulder, or holds your hand so tightly you can see the strain in the muscles of his arm, he needs you. alternatively, when you’re crying or shaking from panic, he gives the best fucking hugs.

stitch (oc). stitch is a medic and the best friend of patch - though they’re not batch mates, they bonded on the transport to coruscant and even gave each other their names. he suffers from severe anxiety, and so the best way to help calm him is a good, firm, long-lasting hug. he also suffers from sleep-wrestling, which developed before the anxiety and is very strange. no one really knows what it’s about, but a hug also helps put a stop to that - patch and grenade are kind of experts in this. i also pin stitch as having a hot, nautolan doctor gf named neema, who’s 6’3” and always ready to hold him. but she’ll always take volunteers to help give him love, after all, she and stitch noticed you across the bar and really love your vibe-

jek. he’s a man who likes the little things, like cozy nights in, warm mugs of caf, and the ones he loves safe in his arms, or pinky-to-pinky as you discuss difficult topics. jek is a lover forced to be a fighter, and he would much rather hold you through a stormy night than be patrolling during it. he’s one of those guys that never wants to let go of your hand, fingers entwined, stretching over barriers that come between you so that your fingers brush just so he can still touch you. it’s grounding for him.

cannon (oc). a loose cannon so to speak, cannon is rough and tumble and ready to go. he and hook have an affectionate mentor-mentee relationship. cannon’s just barely out of shiny status, and often thinks he needs to be brave and strong constantly. but hook knows sometimes his little brother just needs a bracing hand on his shoulder, or a keldabe kiss that says “i’m proud of you, vod”. if you’re with cannon, and you start playing with his hair, or squeeze his hand when he can’t seem to slow down, well, he’s not going to want to leave your side.

acts of service

fox. man, he’s the king of taking care of others’ needs, but he’ll lose his mind if you take care of his. doing basic tasks to help him through his day, like organizing files or updating his calendar, means the fucking world to him. it just takes the intense stress he has and lessens it, and that’s the greatest thing a person can do for him. thorn and stone in particular are experts at helping fox feel taken care of, though he’s loathe to admit it.

lot (oc). oh my beloved lot. he’s just a giver, man, and he’s gonna help you in any way he can. he feels most fulfilled when he’s helping others - he’s been all but forbidden from patrols bc he ends up helping out at the local community garden for four hours, just having the time of his life. for this reason, if you do something special for him, like helping to paint his armor or teaching him something important to you, he just melts for you. he can’t help it.

blast (oc). blast often gets assigned to dangerous missions because 1. he volunteers and 2. he’s really, really good at them. he’s ready with a cocky smile and a quick quip before he’s heading into the fray, locked and loaded and giving out orders as well as any commander. bc he takes on too much, acts of service mean a lot to him - so when thorn or ace take over a task that needs doing that blast hasn’t gotten to, well, let’s just say he’s really thankful. if you make his day a little easier by helping him plan it out or cleaning up his space after a busy mission, he’s sure to make it up to you tenfold. trust me, he’ll be very thankful.

fang (oc). oh, fang, our little shit, our beloved edge lord arf trooper. fang is someone who loves to project an image of badassery, of tough guy, no-nonsense - oh my god, hound, you have to kill that spider, please, please hound kill the spider please please please-. yeah, fang’s a bit of a wimp, but grows more courageous over time. still, he tends to avoid the more frightening aspects of his job, and when his brothers or hound cover for him it really means so much. when you kill the spider, however? expect him to go on a long rant about how brave and strong and deadly his partner is, right before showering you in kisses.

words of affirmation

thire. our beloved lieutenant-turned-commander is a huge fan of words of affirmation. he kinda lives on praise, and enjoys giving it - i hc that he really looks up to fox, so the occasional “you did good” from fox has thire all but teary-eyed. he regularly compliments jek and rys on areas they excel at, or have improved at, bc he thinks it’s really important that they know he’s paying attention and cares enough to give that feedback. thire will very seriously and carefully tell you all the things he loves about you, and his dream is to have you do the same for him, although he’s a little embarrassed to admit that. i have a crap ton of nsfw hcs on this very subject…another time, perhaps.

blaze (oc). blaze my beloved! twin brother of grenade and riot trooper, blaze is pretty similar to his ornery chief medic brother. he’s a gruff man of few words that he uses sparingly, but he’ll speak freely to the ones he loves. he and grenade will take time out of their busy schedules to com and catch up, always telling each other how proud they are of the other, in their own way. there’s a bit of fear of losing each other there, so they’re committed to reminding each other that they care. blaze’s boyfriend, arlo, loves to heap him with generous praise - and you can join in on the fun, too, if you want to watch blaze get all flustered and cute in a way he’d rather die than have his men see.

grenade (oc). we’ve already talked about his and blaze’s exchanges, but grenade also finds it important to dole out gentle if firm words of affirmation to his right-hand men, stitch and patch, as well as his patients. grenade believes firmly in tough love, but not cruel tough love - just honesty and criticism where necessary, and lots of praise where it’s deserved. troopers who make it through tough injuries are regarded as heroes by grenade, who sees a lot and knows how hard recovery can be. he tells them as much proudly. if you’re with grenade, and you tell him he’s a hero to you? well, expect him to deflect and point out all the amazing things about you - but it means a lot to him, really.

ace (oc). oh ace. a beloved oc guard who just. falls in love with everyone he’s ever met. he’s a hopeless romantic who can’t commit, but the sure fire way to get his attention is honeyed compliments - boy will swoon. he works under thorn, so he’s used to huge and warm handshakes, meaning flirty touches don’t work quite as well. but you look him in the eye and tell him you find him fascinating? yeah you’re going home together. ace is something of a poet, regaling his brothers with grand tales of their own bravery, exaggerating for effect, and to make them laugh. he’ll regale you with such tales, and then make you squirm with the sincere way he compliments your looks, your voice, your dreamy personality. watch out for this one; he’s a heartbreaker. but he doesn’t mean to be! honest!

quality time

hound. *quality time with him and grizzer. truly, hound just likes being around his loved ones. time is limited, especially in his life, and he wants to use that time up with the people he cares about. i see him as very much the mom friend, checking in on both the commanders and the guards, shinies especially, friendly, loving massifs in tow. he likes getting to watch his brothers relax as they play with or pet the dogs, knowing he made a difference. sitting in silence together, just reading or eating, is truly the most wonderful thing to him. runor is a great partner in the way they provide this regularly, both at work and outside of it. if you want to be with hound, he’ll fall for you the moment you suggest going to the park to watch the sunset. now that is his idea of a perfect date.

rys. my man loves experiences, and he wants to share them with you! he wants to explore every inch of coruscant, and every planet in the galaxy once he’s finished that, and he wants you at his side, marveling at every new thing to try. jek will often patiently go along with his brother, trying new things to indulge him and volunteering for interesting tasks together. it’s times like these rys gets really comfortable, and will likely teach you about himself by doing things that matter to him together. he’s a cutie, who just wants to experience all life has to offer with those he cares about.

patch (oc). similar to hound, patch enjoys sitting in silence, but for different reasons. patch’s problem is his mouth: he can never convince it to shut up, even when he wants to. oftentimes he doesn’t want to, but sometimes he wishes he wouldn’t be so stubborn. getting to just sit by stitch or grenade or even his beloved scrap metal protocol droid helps calm and ground him, and the fact that they all have the patience to let him calm himself into silence and just sit means a lot. if you have the patience for that, hand in hand as you listen to music, well, he’s gonna make the effort to be less stubborn for you, that’s for sure.

receiving gifts

stone. he wants a sugar mama/daddy, it’s absolutely the truth idc idc. stone my beloved LOVES indulging in fancy gifts, and so decadence like chocolates and jewelry is fun and means a lot to him. but small gifts, like extra food from the mess or a fresh coat of paint for his armor, absolutely warm his heart, and when his men present them to him randomly, he does get a little emo let’s be real. eventually, after the war, hound and runor give stone a massif puppy and he does in fact cry. a lot. any gifts you give him he’ll react sincerely and strongly to, and he’s a bit of a hoarder of things he’s received from other people…within reason. he loves you but he’s not keeping that ticket stub, sorry. best possible gifts include favorite snacks, good socks, and weed and a nice bowl to smoke it in

hook (oc). HOOK!!!!! god i love this captain so much. he works under stone, and learned the taste of luxury from his commander. also, he works a lot with civilians and gets a decent amount of baked goods so he sort of just…starts to love gift getting and gift giving lajskdkf. stone and hook get along famously bc of their shared sense of humor and appreciation of gifts, and try to get nice things for each other on occasion, like the aforementioned meals and paint. his boyfriend is a MASTER baker, and that is half the reason hook falls for him. he learns how to bake just to return the favor, and yes it’s very cute. if you present this man a cookie, he’s going to flirt intensely with you, and if you keep giving him sweets, you’re going to have a new boyfriend pretty soon. hook is easily swayed by good food, okay?

nomad (oc). the cynical, sarcastic arf trooper, constantly ready to end his annoying brother fang’s life. he’s hard to pick out gifts for, but if you put your heart into it, and seek out something you really feel is meaningful, he’ll be secretly very moved. he pretends otherwise but then he’ll present you with something equally meaningful, and you know you got him right in the heart. whenever he and fang have a bad fight, fang knows it’s okay again when nomad presents a thoughtful peace offering. hound, who loves his boys but wants to throttle them, tries to be attentive to both their love languages - but killing spiders is admittedly easier than finding gifts to nomad’s tastes.

dogma. my beloved honorary corrie is a sentimental man, i think. unlike stone and hook, he’s very much a “it’s the thought that counts” guy - meaning he does keep the receipt with the flower you doodled on it and gave to him. he finds gifts with thought to be wonderfully generous and loves that you think of him when he’s not around, so the scarf in corrie guard red that reminded you of him or the datapad screen protector you had an extra of to give him really do make him happy. he has a whole extra shelf made of scrap metal in his locker just for gifts you gave him. and when his brothers give him gifts? forget about it. that’s all he talks about for days. tangible shows of love mean a lot to sweet dogma.

ask me about the corries! oc or otherwise

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 24/04/2021 (AJ Tracey, Young Thug/Gunna/Drake)

On this week on the UK Singles Chart, we get a well-deserved break after last week’s chaos but we still have seven or so new arrivals – half of last week’s amount. Lil Nas X’s “MONTERO (Call Me by Your Name)” is unfazed by any of it as it spends a fourth week at #1, and welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

So last week was busy but a lot of what debuted and returned didn’t actually sustain so we have a plentiful amount of drop-outs and returning entries this week as well. For notable drop-outs – as in songs that had peaked in the top 40 or spent at least five weeks in the chart (specifically the UK Top 75, which I cover) – we have “Anyone” by Justin Bieber, Drake’s “What’s Next” after only six weeks, “What Other People Say” by Sam Fischer and Demi Lovato, Taylor Swift’s re-recorded version of “Love Story” and “Headshot” by Lil Tjay featuring Fivio Foreign and Polo G as well as the late DMX’s “X Gon’ Give it to Ya” off of the return last week.

We do have an oddly large amount of returning entries as a result of this because I guess there’s not enough new stuff to fill in the cracks, as “Watermelon Sugar” by Harry Styles is back at #75, “Heat” by Paul Woodford and Amber Mark at #69, “Anxious” by AJ Tracey at #68 off of the album boost, “Another Love” by Tom Odell at #67 and “Cover Me in Sunshine” by P!nk and Willow Sage Heart at #62.

Then we have songs actually on the chart that are moving about – first off, let’s start with our notable losses, falling about five spots or more on the chart. We don’t have an excess of these, but we do have “Calling My Phone” by Lil Tjay and 6LACK getting ACR’d at #23, “Latest Trends” by AI x JI and remixed by Aitch at #33, “Mercury” by Dave and Kamal. off of the debut to #47 (good!), “Black Hole” by Griff at #48, “All You Ever Wanted” by Rag’n’ Bone Man at #49, “Mr. Perfectly Fine” by Taylor Swift at #50 off of the debut, as well as “Anywhere Away from Here” by Rag’n’Bone Man and P!nk also off of the debut at #51. Oh, and again, falling after last week’s debut, we have “Way Too Long” by Nathan Dawe, Anne-Marie and MoStack at #52. Other fallers that actually lasted at least one more week on the chart include “6 for 6” by Central Cee at #57, “Paradise” by MEDUZA and Dermot Kennedy at #63 and that’s about it. Also, somehow “Lemon Pepper Freestyle” by Drake featuring Rick Ross is sticking to the charts at #71 despite all of the more pop cuts off of that EP – and by that I mean the songs that aren’t six long minutes of pure rapping – dropping out. How that is I have no idea but it does bring us to our gains.

Our gains are always more interesting and we do have a fair few of them this week, like “Starstruck” by Years & Years at #56 off of the debut, “Marea (We’ve Lost Dancing)” by Fred again.. and the Blessed Madonna somehow surging up to #55 off of the debut, “Beautiful Mistakes” by Maroon 5 featuring Megan Thee Stallion at #54, “Summer 91 (Looking Back)” by Noizu at #53, “Last Time” by Becky Hill at #46, “Don’t You Worry About Me” by Bad Boy Chiller Crew at #45, “Medicine” by James Arthur at #44, “Head & Heart” by Joel Corry and MNEK at #41, “Blinding Lights” by the Weeknd rebounding at #40, “Runaway” by AURORA making the top 40 at #34 (six years late), “Levitating” by Dua Lipa bizarrely rebounding at #32, “Didn’t Know” by Tom Zanetti at #31 and that’s pretty much it other than big gains for Olivia Rodrigo’s “deja vu” up big to #12 and “Let’s Go Home Together” by Ella Henderson and Tom Grennan breaking into the top 10 at #10. A lot of these new entries are concentrated towards the bottom of the chart, so let’s start with something that’s actually pretty great.

NEW ARRIVALS

#74 – “How Does it Feel” – London Grammar

Produced by London Grammar and Steve Mac

London Grammar are an indie pop band from Nottingham that just scored their second #1 album with Californian Soil, one I found genuinely promising but absolutely meandering. For all of the great, swelling and powerful tracks there were – many already on the pre-album EPs and singles – there were pointless, time-consuming ballads that feel if anything underwritten and dull. My personal favourite track, “Baby it’s You”, was the lead single and it actually charted, though this cut is the highest-peaking track from the record and also, thankfully, one of my favourites. Hannah Reid has a smoky, unique voice and it always swells over these atmospheric, reverb-drenched instrumentals, full of subtle bass and those infectious guitar links before it drops into the borderline vocaloid drop in that distorted synth-pop chorus that... okay, is pretty anti-climactic and there for no reason other than to give an excuse for the band to incorporate that 80s production into the rest of the song. Regardless, it’s still a damn good production and that chorus is unreasonably catchy, even if she’s hitting falsetto notes I’d never be able to sing along to. It’s not a song that ends too early so it can stream well either; this is a pop song constructed like one of old, and is just as intricate, especially with those twinkling keys in the final chorus. This isn’t the best on the album by far but it’s understandably the one that’s the most accessible and upbeat so it makes sense it’s here. I don’t expect it to stick around but I wouldn’t mind if it did.

#73 – “Sunshine (The Light)” – Fat Joe, DJ Khaled and Amorphous

Produced by Cool N Dre and Amorphous

So, Fat Joe might be back? I’d be hard-pressed to find out way until I look at this... comeback single of sorts and realise that the chorus is just straight-up taken from a Rihanna song, that being the verse of “Kiss it Better” from 2016 layered over this almost disco-sounding sample of Luther Vandross and that’s pretty much the song as far as the beat is concerned. In that way, I guess it’s kind of fun and harmless but Rihanna’s vocals are mixed pretty horrifically on this instrumental without any attempt to cover it up with some backing vocals, which would have been a really good touch. DJ Khaled is only here because he finishes Fat Joe’s punchline and he contributes literally nothing else. In fact, Fat Joe is a waste of time here as well, especially in that really odd bridge and second verse. Admittedly, I guess his first verse has one clever line but it’s all clearly so unfocused even when the sample gives you a lot to work with in terms of content. By the time the Luther Vandross vocal sample is oddly dribbling over the beat, I’m out of this.

#72 – “Ski” – Young Stoner Life, Young Thug and Gunna

Produced by BabyWave, Outtatown and Wheezy

Slime Language 2 was a project I thought was actually fairly enjoyable given its runtime and content. I mean, it’s 23 tracks running at about an hour and a half of just mindless flexing, sex and gunplay from Young Thug and YSL affiliates but it has an energy and camaraderie that I rarely find is all that noticeable during these label or collective albums, and whilst not any particular rapper shines on more than one track, we still hear a lot of voices on the record that are far from unpleasant and can hold their own against Thug, one of them of course being Gunna. I’m surprised the songs with Travis Scott or Lil Uzi Vert didn’t debut but this Thug-Gunna cut did, but I guess that video pushed it over the top and I’m glad because this is by far one of my favourites on the album on pure, stupid and mindless energy. That camaraderie that I mentioned is in full force here as Thug and Gunna trade bars over this basic watery beat with some catchy strings and, of course, awkward bass mixing. The first intelligible words are “Spider sex” and then Thug just goes into yelling “Yeah!” because, sure, that’s a chorus. Thugger delivers his typical flow-switching charisma with a lot of loud, fun energy and whilst not anything of lyrical standard is said here, I love how he and Gunna trade each other’s names on their versions of the post-chorus. It’s a clever, little touch that makes songs like this feel just that bit more fun, if the manic ad-libs didn’t already show that. Gunna’s verse might be the best of the two here as he actually comes with some unexpected energy over that beeping synth loop that sounds great finally coming from Gunna, and, yeah, what can I say? It’s a mindless trap banger that will be out as soon as it was in – both for the charts and your ears – but it’s so much fun and with Thug’s poppier projects, that’s all that matters.

#66 – “You” – Regard, Troye Sivan and Tate McRae

Produced by Regard

The Kosovan DJ that brought us that great remix of Jay Sean’s “Ride It” as well as original song “Secrets” with RAYE is back and bringing... Troye Sivan and Tate McRae with him. Okay, I mean, sure, maybe Regard can pump up the production to get either of these singers to sound enthused. The content is pretty basic, with the “coming back to an ex” story we’ve heard before and not much interplay between Tate and Troye – not that there can feasibly be but that’s beside the point. This isn’t all that important to a song like this, though, but it can be done so it always feels anti-climactic when these EDM songs don’t have good lyrical content anchoring its groove and catchy hooks. That said, this song is actually pretty good, trading much of the more fast-paced house grooves and minimal deep house drops for a pretty slick, almost synth-funk production with some hard-hitting 909 bass and Troye’s laid-back mumbling falsetto actually sounding pretty great over electro percussion and this blend of really cool, retro synths that aren’t afraid to sound jerky and out-of-tune in that post-chorus. They almost remind me of Plastic Beach if this isn’t that ludicrous of a comparison. Tate McRae barely exists here but that’s fine – sadly she has the only verse and her voice just doesn’t mesh that well with Troye’s outside of some of the chorus harmonising, and on its own just sounds kind of unwarrantedly raspy on pretty clean, smooth production. Regard’s addition of those distorted backing vocals and the lenient vocal manipulating in that bridge make sure you know this is intricately produced to every detail and I just love that ramping of intensity even if the final chorus doesn’t really act as that impactful climax so the song ends on kind of a low note where I can tell Regard didn’t know where to go from there. Otherwise, this is a pretty great synth-pop track and I really hope it sticks around. I knew Regard had an ear for more unique EDM production since he came onto the charts for the first time with “Ride It” so I hope to hear what’s next from him as well. For now, oh, God, please make this a hit.

#61 – “Kukoc” – AJ Tracey featuring NAV

Produced by Yung Swisher and Pxcoyo

This is our first of two songs that debuted this week from AJ Tracey’s album Flu Game, which I decided not to listen to on the basis that it was nearly an hour’s runtime with a NAV feature. It’s just my luck then that for whatever reason, the British public decided the NAV song was the second most important track to listen to when the album dropped. Well, I guess this beat isn’t bad, especially with that synth flashing over the acoustic guitar inflections and the Pop Smoke-esque rattling drill percussion creating an oddly-mixed and cluttered beat but one that I guess still hits pretty hard. NAV sounds more enthused than ever over a drill beat – maybe he should stick to that – but I still feel like this is just a pointless song. The content is primarily just flexing and AJ Tracey’s energy is there but not in a particularly likeable, charming way or in an intimidating, menacing way so he just ends up out-shined by NAV’s cheaply Auto-Tuned and simple, basic flow in his verse where he emphasises how he’s a grown man at 30 years old – yet still not showing any sign of maturity, seemingly. This is listenable for sure but at best it’s a mildly amusing drill track and at worst it’s sensory overload. The build-up is only in the intro here and it’s just full force for the next two minutes making it kind of aggravating to even listen to and keep up with. Oh, and “Kukoc” is some Croatian basketball player mentioned once in the chorus. That’s about as interesting as this content gets.

#36 – “Solid” – Young Stoner Life, Young Thug and Gunna featuring Drake

Produced by Foreign Teck, Elvas, Wheezy and OZ

It’s an unwritten rule that if you release an album, the song with Drake on it will always debut on the charts, and often particularly high. Okay, I guess it didn’t work for Drakeo the Ruler – sadly – but it did work for Slime Language 2. “Solid” which absolutely did not need the four producers it has is pretty much just the trio being as uninteresting as possible as they slide over a synth-based trap beat with, say it with me, odd bass mixing. I guess Drake’s hook is mildly catchy and the steel pans in the verses are kind of fun even if they’re there for pretty much no reason. Gunna probably delivers the best verse, if not the purest as he brags about having solid friendships, and boasts wealth over the beat which gets a lot more eerie and downbeat with Gunna over it for whatever reason, even when he’s spitting ridiculous sex bars. The best part of this as with most of the YSL label projects is the interplay between Young Thug and Gunna, as over an increasingly badly mixed beat and some slick organ licks, Thugger ends off the track with an effortless verse and... well, it sure is a trap-rap song by Young Thug, Gunna and Drake. That’s for sure. It’s not bad at all and this beat could be a lot better if there were more steel pans and better mixing, it’s just that none of these guys deliver as well as they can and like most things he’s on nowadays, Drake is the worst part of it.

#29 – “Little More Love” – AJ Tracey

Produced by Venna, Mark Raggio, RyFy and Yoz Beats

I’m surprised there’s little fanfare about this song and the album in general, especially given how big songs like “West Ten” and “Bringing it Back”. Sadly, I think this might be a case of waiting too long to get the record out or just AJ’s star fading away and towards – unfortunately – Digga D. This cut got the music video treatment and hence debuted the highest of any entries this week but it was set for a top 10 debut from the album and video boost, but just seems to have stalled. I actually think that’s pretty unfortunate as this is a great song, with that tropical guitar lick that sounds cheap when drenched in the reverb and especially when the beat comes in and it’s mixed too loudly, but that doesn’t really obscure the trap knock and groove, particularly in that chorus with AJ’s expected dead-beat delivery. That delivery really works for this song, though, as it’s about the paranoia that comes with unexpected fame and success for someone from a background of poverty. I wish the beat gave AJ more room to breathe but he still flips the typical UK flows on his verses so they’re a lot more catchy and smooth, particularly over those soulful vocal loops that come in at the same time. That second verse is pretty excellent too, as whilst it’s short, it runs through some pretty excellent flows and some interesting lines, like about how he sees himself as Che Guerava, represents his Trinidadian identity and how he’s “got God” so he and his crew don’t need to wear a bullet-proof vest, which is actually kind of profound for Tracey. The horns at the end of this beat deserve some credit for making this song great too, and with all the sounds packed into this song, I think I understand why this one has four producers, even if this cluttered mix could use halving that total.

Conclusion

This is a pretty solid week all things considered, with a lot of good to great songs, so much so that it’s difficult to give out titles. I guess Best of the Week is going to “Ski” by Young Stoner Life, Young Thug and Gunna but I’m convinced to give a three-way tie for Honourable Mention. I think I’ll just stick with giving it to Regard, Troye Sivan and Tate McRae for “You” but it was close. Worst of the Week ends up going to “Sunshine (The Light)” by Fat Joe, Amorphous and DJ Khaled almost by default, with a Dishonourable Mention to AJ Tracey’s “Kukoc” featuring NAV, even if I still kind of like the song. Here’s our top 10 for this week:

Hopefully next week will keep this quality going, but in terms of new arrivals I can’t really make any concrete predictions other than a boost for “Save Your Tears” and hopefully an impact from Jorja Smith and Little Simz. I guess time will tell however, so thanks for reading and I’ll see you next week!

[tryingtofindthestories]

Talking Cats and Hockey Sticks (Part 2)

“Need I remind you, I am a cat. I do not have opposable thumbs - I can’t sword fight!”

“Neither can I!! You have claws.”

“Pick up the sword. It’s just like your favourite characters, except if you get hit you bleed a lot and die very painfully.” Well, she could see why the curse didn’t turn her into a puppy. - @the-modern-typewriter

A young woman stood behind her, a pretty lady with the tall, narrow build of western super models and muscles of a pro athlete. Violet eyes with cat pupils watched Cory intensely. A long sword with a curved point hung from her waist in an elaborate sheath. A falchion, Cory realized as her sword geek self became giddy with excitement even as fear tensed her muscles.

“Valerie!” The cat perked up and hurried to the woman. “You have no clue how good it is to see you, I’ve been stuck with the dullest peasants ever born for weeks now.”

“Hey,” Cory barked, offended. Valerie gave the cat a stern look before turning to Cory.

“Don’t mind her, she has no filter I’m afraid.” Cory grinned at that, while the cat made offended noises. The woman strode across the clearing over to Reginald and knelt beside him to check for breathing and a pulse. Following her over, Cory tugged on her bag strap, but couldn’t get the mage to release it. “I’m Lady Commander Valerie of Nitra, leader of the royal guard. Call me Val.” The nice woman told Cory.

“How do you put up with guarding that cat, she peed on my favorite shirt when I pissed her off.” Cory glared at the said cat who only turned up her nose. Val raised an eyebrow at the cat, obviously not pleased. To Cory’s surprise the pain in the ass animal lowered her head, cowed. “Yes, the Queen tends to act rather rashly I’m afraid.”

“Since you seem the most civil, do you mind telling me, what’s going on?” Valerie looked at Cory shocked.

“Did no one tell you why you’re here?” Cory gave Val a grim smile.

“Until about five minutes ago, I didn’t know that my roommate’s cat was a royal feline.” Valerie ran a hand along her hair which had been cut short in a buzz cut. She looked frustrated as she glared at the man before her. When the cat began to make her presence known, Valerie offered her an even angrier glare that quickly shut her up.

“The cat, is the Crow- Queen now, I suppose, Queen Alexandra of Ilonike. She’s been cursed by the queendom’s enemies and trapped in a cat body.”

“Not even a Prussian cat!” Alexandra cried. Val and Cory rolled their eyes at the dramatics.

“When she got cursed the royal family was under attack from bogus royal guardsmen. Reggie sent Lexa through a portal to another dimension to protect her. The King was killed in the attack and the usurpers have claimed the throne.” Alexandra meowed sadly at the news. Val reached over and gently stroked the cat’s fur. “I know and I’m sorry, Darling, that you had to learn about it this way.”

“That still doesn’t explain why I’m here. I don’t belong in your world.”

“Ahh, that. Yes - “

“There they are. Get them!” Suddenly a group of strangers dressed similarly to the two intruders Cory had taken down that morning came bursting out of the trees. Val muttered in another language before standing and charging the enemy herself. Reggie was still out cold from whatever knocked him out in the first place and Alexandra was swiping at his cloak to reveal another sword. It looked a lot like a rapier, thin and long. It was definitely a ceremonial piece though, Cory knew that no practical sword had that much gold and silver detail.

“Now, pick it up and help Valerie!” Alexandra demanded with a stern look at Cory. The girl gripped her hockey stick tighter and spared a glance over her shoulder at the group of villains that Val was currently holding off.

“I can’t, I don’t know how to use a sword. You do it!”

“Need I remind you that I AM A CAT! I don’t have opposable thumbs, I can’t sword fight.”

“Neither can I, but you have claws!”

“Pick up the sword, Peasant. You’re always gawking over others and commenting on those fantasy adventure stories you love. It’s just like your favorite stories, except if you get hit you bleed a lot and die very painfully.” Cory gave the cat an incredulous look. Well, I can see why the curse didn’t turn her into a puppy. A growl from Winter, who had found her way to her mistress’s side as the fighting began, had Cory glancing back at the fighting. Val was struggling to hold off all the attackers by herself. A rubber band snapped against Cory’s chest, the guilt hurting. Glancing back at the rapier, Cory knew that she would wind up hurting herself more than the enemy if she used it. The solid feel of her wooden hockey stick made the decision for her.

“Stay put, brat.” Cory snapped at Alexandra before dumping her backpack on the ground beside the mage. “Winter, obcas! Wrog!” Pointing at the men who were trying to overwhelm, Val, Cory repeated the command of enemy. She then pointed to Val and gave the command for friend. Winter gave an understanding growl, but remained beside her mistress waiting. Taking off toward the fighting with her hockey stick in hand, Cory gave the command for heel again. “Obcas, Winter, obcas.” Silently the dog followed along and jumped the first bad guy when they were finally close enough to engage. Cory checked a guy trying to flank Val onto his buddy’s sword point, then smacked the friend in the head with her stick. Another man turned away from Val to go after her. Fast reflexes allowed her to duck under his blade as she sweep his feet from under him. Winter ripped his throat out before he could get out and Cory was nearly sick at the gurgling noise the man made as he slowly died. Her discomfort nearly got her killed as a man swung his blade at her from behind.

Winter jumped and bite onto his sword arm, pulling it away from Cory and causing him to yelp. Cory turned in time to see the man strike Winter with his dagger. The dog growled and clung harder to the man’s arm as he drew back to strike again. Cory brought her stick back and slap shot the man’s ankle like it was a puck. He howled in pain, but did not drop his dagger. Corry was oblivious to this as she high sticked him in the face while his arm flailed in her direction. He dropped to the ground with Winter still holding on. Blinded by anger Cory drew her leg back to kick the man in the ribs, only to be stopped by a gentle hand. Whipping around nearly had her falling, but Cory could clearly see Valerie holding her ankle.

“Don’t do that.” Valerie told the girl calmly, despite the pile of bodies lying on the ground. Distracted as she was Cory could still hear several pairs of feet running away in the forest.

“He hurt Winter!” She cried, looking back at the man with hatred. This man had hurt the only friend left to her and she could not forgive him that.

“Yes, but you beat him and you will lose all your honor. A warrior does not continue to hurt her opponent when he is done.” Cory continued to glare at the man, but stopped trying to pull her leg out of Val’s grip.

“Whatever,” she grumbled, letting Val know that she would not attack the man. Alexandra stalked over to their little group and sat to calmly preen herself. Cory took no notice as she dropped beside her dog and checked her for injuries. Luckily the man hadn’t punctured Winter in any vital areas, instead swiping vertically down her ribcage. Relief flooded Cory as she pulled her shirt over her head with shaky hands, revealing her plain black camisole underneath. She tugged hard on the fabric with shaky hands, trying to rip it into appropriate strips to bandage her friend.