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..... ..... .....

I just... I was looking for where I could find my blogs archive at, and I noticed there were 8! Messages in my inbox. They were all from different people with the same content asking me to reblog their families stories because they were struggling and possibly donate $5 if I could...

.... .... ....

I deleted all the messages. I thought someone wanted to talk to me... I hope if it wasn't a scam those people found help.

I can't be that help right now though. I can only be a disappointment.

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I'm scared about how alone I'm about to feel.

I'm cutting out social media for a short while.

That's my main "human" interaction every day other than work.

I used quotes because I don't really comment on anything, and people don't often talk to me when I do.

But it's nice to pretend that the people on the screen care. Even though they don't have the slightest idea who I am. They at least care about their fans most of the time... Right?

It's going to be all work as a social life... And they don't really care much about me. I think one woman I work with most days tends to lie to our immediate boss about me often.... She says we're really good friends... But everyone that's said that to me doesn't talk to me anymore.

I'm probably a horrible person.....

My childhood friend still talks to me though, and we've been talking a lot more often these days. That's made me really happy. She lives half way across the country though.

I wish my parents would at least check up on me sometimes..........

I'm so tired.

I wish I were dead.

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I'm alone.

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hi. just a reminder your spirit didn’t break. it just shape-shifted into something quieter so it could sneak past the guards.

love, someone who made it out

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Went to the gym, still greatly dislike myself.... It was just once though, so that's to be expected.

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Death would be sugar sweet.....

But imma rinse off my job in the shower and try to get my lazy ass to the gym

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One food filled shopping spree later, and I'm still just a little bitty less a sack of lonely depressed shittyness.

... Something really must be off though, because I bought grape fruit...

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I'm stupid.

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😮‍💨☹️😤

Running might have to wait, I forgot I need to go to the grocery store, and contrary to my personal beliefs at the time, I indeed open not close tomorrow.

I'm going to try and go for a run and hope it doesn't kill my feet and that my gym membership is still valid.

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I'm going to try and go for a run and hope it doesn't kill my feet and that my gym membership is still valid.

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My wings are fragile, but they do grow back.

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A little bit of where the rabbit whole spit me out at before I got bored....

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I'd find someone to talk about all of this to, but I have neither the money, the time, or the courage to seek out help.