takeitfromruss

[takeitfromruss]

NUMBERS

We can all agree that Math is one of the most common nemeses of the human race. People hate math for its complexity and for its ability to make us think more than we should. From the unending numbers up to the mind-boggling equations, Math seems to be too overwhelming for us. However, for some who enjoys playing with Math, including me, it is just a matter of finding the right way to solve problems and come up with the correct formula. You can guess and get the right answer for any Math problem that you have, but you're skipping the gist of solving a problem. It's never about the numbers nor the final answer, it is always about knowing how we come up with that answer. It is more of finding the hows and whys.

In relationships, we are not fully aware that we are also dealing with numbers. The time you've known each other, the number of dates that you had, the number of exes you both had before dating each other, your age gap, your distance, the three-month rule, etc. - these are all "relationship numbers." But just like how I said about Math, it's more of knowing the whys and hows rather than looking at the numbers. Many relationships failed because the people involved were thinking more about how long they've been together rather than being a better partner. Most of us care more about the time you've known the person you're dating rather than on the compatibility that you share with that person. In some instances, we don't date someone younger than us, or someone far. We often disregard the fact that these people can love us more than what we expected them. We somehow prefer convenience over love, in it's purest essence.

I'm not saying that finding true love has its perfect formula. There's no common equation in finding the right person. Even Math geniuses can't figure this out. I'm just saying that we should not let the relationship numbers fool us. You can experience true love from someone you just met for a month or two. Someone who just got out of a relationship can be more ready to engage in a serious relationship than someone single for a long time. In Math, you must analyze the entire equation to understand how did you come up with an answer. It's the same thing about love, you must consider all the factors before making a decision.

Remember that love and Math can be both complicated, but they're both solvable.

[takeitfromruss]

FAKE NEWS

For the past couple of weeks, the entire country, especially Metro Manila has been undergoing a health crisis called COVID-19 (Coronavirus disease - 2019). The virus is spreading like a wildfire, pushing the government to put Metro Manila into community quarantine. What’s more alarming is the fact that “fake news” are spreading more rapidly than the virus itself. These “fake news” caused panic to the majority of the people and we all know what happened next.

“Fake news”.

For some, this is just a trick used by individuals to stir controversies or to make people go nuts and overreact about something. However, for me, it ain’t it. It always boils down to its roots - dishonesty.

I’m sorry to disappoint you but the first part that you have read is just an intro. If you know me so well, you know where this blog will lead you - love issues. HAHAHA.

How can this be related to love?

Most of us, if not all, have already experienced the "fake news" of love without knowing that we did. From the lies that your suitor said to get your “thumbs up”; the mixed signals that the person you like is showing towards you; up to the simplest white lie that you committed so your partner won’t feel bad about something; all of these are “fake news”. 

So, what are you trying to imply?

Honesty builds trust. We all know how important it is to build any kind of relationship that we have in trust whether it is a platonic friendship or a romantic relationship. I’m not saying that we should always be perfect who doesn’t commit a single lie. What I’m trying to say is, honesty can either make you or break you. It can either open doors of opportunities or disappoint you. Whatever happens, you should always choose to be honest. It’s easier to live the truth regardless of the consequences that we have to face. If you don't like the person you are dating now and you can't see yourself in the future with him, tell him even if it will hurt him. If you want something to change from your partner's behavior, let him know. Don't cover-up anything just to make the situation peaceful. At the end of the day, we all deserve to know the truth even if it's too harsh for us. It's better to be brutally honest than having regrets. It is also important to know that we cannot expect people to be honest towards us if we can’t be honest ourselves.

We already had enough of all the "fake news" of social media. Let's save ourselves and others from dealing with a lot more by being sincere all the time. As they say, "honest hearts produce honest actions". 

I don’t know how to properly end this but let me tell you this:

“YOU DO NOTE THE LIAR IS MY PEYK”.

Thanks for reading!

[takeitfromruss]

LOVE CAN BE A PRISON

It’s been more than a month since I started binge-watching one of the American TV series classics, Prison Break. It’s basically a story of a man (Michael Scofield) who set himself up so he can go to jail and rescue his brother (Lincoln Burrows) by escaping the prison. In the process of doing it, there are lots of challenges he needed to conquer in order to execute his plan. He has to endure so much that he even reached a point where he doubted himself, his plans, and almost gave up. But to cut the story short, he made it with the help of other people and a little bit of luck.

Yesterday morning, I was at my usual “staring-blankly-while-holding-a-cup-of-coffee” moment. I had a random thought that love can somehow be compared to a prison cell. Most, if not all of us, have experienced being trapped in a certain situation, certain “love situation” as if we are prisoners. It’s just a matter of what kind of prison cell you are into. We tried so hard to convince ourselves that we’re still happy and contented, that we can still go through the bullshits of our relationships because we believe that there is more good than bad that comes out of it. We decided to ignore all the red flags for certain reasons, for the thing we called love. For me, that’s how we build love as our prison cell.

To elaborate on my point, I highlighted some of the common “prison cells” I know or those I’ve experienced myself.

Prison Cell # 1: “Sayang Kasi Ang Tagal Na Namin”

This one deserves to be the number one for its commonality as an excuse to stay in an unhealthy relationship. To be honest, when someone’s opening up about taking this route in tolerating her toxic relationship, I’m hoping I can just slap her in the face with the reality that some things are not meant to be fixed. I hope it’s that easy. As someone said, “sometimes holding on does more damage than letting go”. The only important things we can get from the longevity of a given relationship are compatibility and stability. If these aren’t met, then staying is senseless. Remember that we don’t commit to someone just to stay with them for a long time. We should pursue someone who will make us feel that we don’t need to count the days, months, or years that we are together.

Prison Cell # 2: Fear of New Beginnings

Who never felt the jitters when you tried to do something that you haven’t done for a long time, right? It’s scary. We can create hundreds of “what if” scenarios in our head and can end up never trying again. That’s one of the reasons why people get trapped in their current relationships even though they thought for a million times that they don’t want it anymore - they are scared of starting over again. It’s normal to be frightened as you try to go back to the dating scene after that unhealthy relationship. But it’s better to be terrified of the unknown than doing nothing when you can escape a relationship you don’t deserve. Michael Scofield knew that going out of prison with his brother won’t be the end of it. They need to prove his brother’s innocence or else they will be running for the rest of their lives. But he knew that it was the best thing to do and he embraced the uncertainties. You can act on your current toxic relationship à la Scofield and stop worrying about how you can start over.

Prison Cell # 3: The Vow

I decided to put this one on my last bullet because it is the hardest prison cell that you can escape from, at least for me. Marriage is sacred, and for others, breaking a marriage shouldn’t be done regardless of how painful it is to handle because you promised to the law or to God that you will be inseparable “through thick and thin, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health”. I understand that. But for someone who’s been in that situation, it’s not as simple as that. When you can’t bear the marriage anymore, giving up is not an easy decision to make. There are major factors you need to consider before coming up with that decision. “How about the kid?”, “What will your parents, friends or other people say if you do that?”, etc. Even if you already made up your mind, you will forever be in that prison cell as long as you two are not yet divorced or annulled. That makes it the hardest prison cell to break. Regardless of the effort you poured into being a great dad or being civil with your ex-partner, it won’t let you be in a normal relationship again. There are lots of judgments, and it can come from the people you thought are closest to you. Don’t get me wrong, we are not hopeless people. Loving is just harder for us. Not everyone is open to date a married person, despite all the good qualities they have. The only thing that we can do is to be patient since annulment will take a lot of time and money, and be hopeful that one day we can still experience the kind of love we are longing to have.

"So how can I escape from my prison cell?”

Scofield evaluated all the possibilities, planned everything, got ready for any inconvenience or delays, before taking action. That’s what you need to do first. Assess your situation. Think about the things that made the relationship toxic or unpleasant. If your worth is being compromised, or if you’re consistently getting hurt, I think that’s the best time to get out of that situation. 

The key to having the courage to break your own love prison cell is knowing what you deserve and thinking long- term. The person you are with right now should be the person you feel like building a family with. If not, it’s your time to channel your inner Michael Scofield and break free. You deserve the best.