tall-mccartney - Tumblr blog

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For the Veeples ❤️🤍💙

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Here’s how it all went down:

Dan has a nervous breakdown and is hospitalized. Jonah visits him in the hospital (flowers in hand). Amy informs them both that Dan has been fired. The Veep team (including Amy!) abandon Dan in London. Jonah and Dan return to the US on a commercial flight, their seats are together (Dan falls asleep on Jonah’s shoulder btw). They ride-share from the airport to Friendship Heights because they live in the same neighborhood (I can prove this). Jonah sees Dan’s exhaustion and depression, and awkwardly informs Dan he’s there for him if he needs anything. Dan insults him and tells him to fuck off, probably. They part ways. Jonah’s life continues as per usual—with the exception of Dan’s absence (ouch, Jonah misses his Danny). Meanwhile, Dan falls entirely apart. For a week straight he drinks himself sick and abuses benzos. Jonah checks on him after days of Dan not answering texts. Dan is in a bad way and Jonah encourages him to go inpatient. (Jonah has dealt with this before with his mom.) Dan relents and voluntarily checks himself in, but isn’t happy about it. He checks himself out after one day—because “group therapy is bullshit”. He is undiagnosed bipolar 2, so he swings from depression to hypomania, and suddenly life is grand. (Thanks mood stabilizers 😀) He’s grown a beard and he’s back in Selina’s good graces (provided he shaves the beard 😒).

The next time he sees Jonah it’s at the debate:

“Dan flew over the cuckoo's nest, how’s it going buddy?”

(All of my headcanons are just finding ways to smoosh Dan and Jonah together 😅)

i love debate so fucking much dan with a beard is so pretty and men who are slightly unhinged always get me,, manic poorly rehabilitated dan has my entire heart and it will forever make me so upset that there is absolutely no indication of what occurred between special relationship and debate with dan. it seems like he went to some kind of therapy and jonah's comments about s/h makes me think dan s/hd or attempted something which lines up with him seeming very poorly medicated and generally off, basically how everyone is when they get out of a psych hospital? i humbly request to hear the rest of veepblr's headcanons for between special relationship and debate

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Actual Dan x Jonah quotes:

Dan: I will break your legs so severely, you’ll end up normal height

Jonah: you fucked me with your face

Dan: you’re obsolete, you’re like an old VCR but with a bigger mouth

Jonah: you should go fist a chimp

Dan: you should be fitted with a leper bell, you sinking shit

Jonah: use this finger🖕 to wipe your tears

Dan: you fucking ape, you’re a useless waste of carbon

Jonah: I’m the one that broke you

Dan: you’re so low-rent, you can’t even be exploited

Jonah: you upstate New York dick-shit, you’re not that great to be around

Dan: go fuck yourself, Jack and the giant freak-stalk

Jonah: I’ll be better when you walk away

Dan: listen to me instead of your only two brain cells busy butt-fucking each other in the vast expanses of your misshapen skull

Jonah: Dan Egan is a solid five and a half, weak six

Dan: jesus christ Jonah, how do you not know this shit?

Jonah: I’m sure that showing your anus gets you into all of your regular social clubs

Dan: I hope you die a horrible death choking on a red glistening dog dick

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Actual Dan x Jonah quotes:

Dan: I will break your legs so severely, you’ll end up normal height

Jonah: you fucked me with your face

Dan: you’re obsolete, you’re like an old VCR but with a bigger mouth

Jonah: you should go fist a chimp

Dan: you should be fitted with a leper bell, you sinking shit

Jonah: use this finger🖕 to wipe your tears

Dan: you fucking ape, you’re a useless waste of carbon

Jonah: I’m the one that broke you

Dan: you’re so low-rent, you can’t even be exploited

Jonah: you upstate New York dick-shit, you’re not that great to be around

Dan: go fuck yourself, Jack and the giant freak-stalk

Jonah: I’ll be better when you walk away

Dan: listen to me instead of your only two brain cells busy butt-fucking each other in the vast expanses of your misshapen skull

Jonah: Dan Egan is a solid five and a half, weak six

Dan: jesus christ Jonah, how do you not know this shit?

Jonah: I’m sure that showing your anus gets you into all of your regular social clubs

Dan: I hope you die a horrible death choking on a red glistening dog dick

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i love debate so fucking much dan with a beard is so pretty and men who are slightly unhinged always get me,, manic poorly rehabilitated dan has my entire heart and it will forever make me so upset that there is absolutely no indication of what occurred between special relationship and debate with dan. it seems like he went to some kind of therapy and jonah's comments about s/h makes me think dan s/hd or attempted something which lines up with him seeming very poorly medicated and generally off, basically how everyone is when they get out of a psych hospital? i humbly request to hear the rest of veepblr's headcanons for between special relationship and debate

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tim simons jonah ryan in his lil’ beanie cap w that lil’ smile be still my heart 🫠

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ship so good u kin both characters

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Have this

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get the government out of my fucking snatch

oh she’s iconic

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“In current gay parlance, Dan presents somewhere between a wolf and an otter, some would call a frost otter.”

— Kent commenting on Dan’s sex appeal

two takeaways from data:

dan calls his penis "king danny" (????)

kent calls dan handsome :3

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God bless your pea-pickin heart, you havent seen s7

We must protect u

what r ur hcs for Dan im curious

at one point i actually had a list somewhere of all my veep headcanons but i made it in my notes app for some reason and its buried under notes about my real life but heres what i got off the top of my head

he was a lifeguard as a teenager (he has lifeguard energy idfk)

he was a competitive swimmer as a teenager (again just vibes, he was a god at 400IM)

bpd (purely projection, i feel it's based in canon but i don't think someone without bpd would see it)

substance abuse (so many people in this show are canon irresponsible w prescription meds i mean dc is a stressful place)

he and selina fucked like years ago but she doesn't remember (based on when they almost fuck like idk why i get the vibe that it wasnt the first time)

he had a shit childhood this is basically canon

he has depression+anxiety+bpd (purely based on vibes)

i think he is a lot goofier than he lets on like i think when he is very comfortable w someone he is v silly but he isnt v comfortable w anyone, i just think no one who isnt a goofy lil goober would be able to write an extended parody of 50 ways to leave your lover hes a goofy lil guy okay, he is also rly quick witted and funny like in an alternate universe he is a writer on snl, he's just chandler bing if chandler had rizz

post-canon he retires early after making a shit-ton of money and just kinda travels about w hot women (i have not seen s7 maybe this is canon i know they have a peek at every character's future in the last ep but whatever)

i think he does have like literally a dozen illegitimate children and the doctor at the fertility clinic with marjorie and catherine was just incorrect and the test was a fluke bc didnt he get amy pregnant ?? idk i haven't seen s7

he has some kind of weird daddy issues thing with kent, in the early seasons he rly wants to be friends w kent (i read some fic abt this idfk) and he just wants to go on a little boat trip (fishing trip...? idk i just know hes good at fishing so he mustve done it as a kid right?) w his father figure (the seasickness thing contraindicates this but whatevs)

his brother has kids and dan is surprisingly good w his nieces and nephews like once they get older and theyre like young adults he is the cool uncle who will let them throw parties in his beach house and if his niece has like a shitty bf dan will punch him

idk i have so many headcanons these are just what i could come up with rn

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coffee 🤨

is it beer ? i honestly dont know, i think theres a scene of him pouring cans of bud light into it, i also sometimes wonder if its hard liquor w mixers

i need ben’s giant coffee cup

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me and my friends fucked around with this crossword maker and i made a pretty slapdash veep themed one with stuff i came up with off the top of my head but if its a hit i will make a real big boy crossword

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commissioning from @neildrawn he is genuinely an amazing person and also amazing artist go look at his blog

obviously some characters were left out but. i dont like all the characters so. and theres selina and danjonah content for me to stare at already so idrc about them

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dan and jonah get drunk together plus a bonus

this happens at least twice