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Can you curl your tongue?

“ WHAT can’t I do with my tongue is a better question, my dude. ”

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- MATTIN -

Working in Villa Novella, Mattin honestly had seen it all. He settled back behind the wheel, looking up and realizing he knew the owner of the villa he was stopped in front of. “Puta madre,” he muttered to himself, putting the utility vehicle on drive, glancing at the man who was eager to get away. The longer they linger and he’d be hauling a dead man. “D’you know this is a Gator, right? It could only go so fast,” he informed the man but stepped on the gas. He didn’t want to find out how pissed Mr. Maggin was catching his wife with a younger man. Again. “I swear this is the second time it happened in the last week and it’s only the beginning of the month,” he shook his head, speeding away.

“ MY dude, I don’t care about technicalities other than if you don’t start going my brains are going to be splattered all over this... gator. ‘Sides, you should know more than anyone then, that the puta madre didn’t marry Mr. Maggin for his ridiculously good looking hefty self. He may have good aim but two steps and he’ll need his puffer. ”

Emergency

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- JULIEN - 

“What’s that? Did you say something? I got distracted by my own reflection,” he said, proceeding to stare. “God, I’m outstanding.”

“ DO you want the next hit, bro? You can blow O’s to yourself in the mirror next. ”

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- SUTTON  - 

“I’m pretty sure that old bastard Lowenthal next door was watching me change through a pair of bird watching binoculars. Do people really get off that way? Just watching someone change into a bikini. It’s not like I was fondling my tits the entire time?”

“ LOWENTHAL has got shitty taste then, if you ask me. What are you - a double A 32 at most? He may as well watch little Billy down the street do canon balls in his pool. ”

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- MATTIN - 

[Timeline: 5th June 2017, Monday, early in the morning, Villa Novella.]

Mattin arrived at Villa Novella very early in the morning. During the week he stays in one of the apartments built within the grounds for the community’s staff. His weekend was spent in Brooklyn where he shared a tiny apartment with his friend Ludo. He began his morning with a cup of coffee and a couple of toasts before heading out to do his rounds, checking traps around the gated community and attending to the landscape afterwards. Rolling down the main street on a John Deere Gator with his gardening equipment and extra traps, he hoped for smooth day. And it seemed it was looking that way as summer residents slept through the morning but all that changed when he spotted a figure up ahead in front one of the villas. Hands up in the air, the person waved for him to stop. Mattin stepped on the Gator’s break, putting it on park. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked, climbing out of the utility vehicle, a deep frown lining his forehead.

“ GET back in bro. Consider me the Clyde to your Bonnie and you’re driving my getaway car. ‘parrently the chick I was with is married and her husband came home early and I need you to step on that gas pedal and get me out of here before I end up shot in the head. ”

Emergency

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- CLEO  - 

Cleo’s normal smile fell and what had been only a slightly distressed expression before now morphed into one of utter shock. “Oh no, you don’t think?” She covered her mouth with one hand for a moment. “Oh, I don’t know if I could be the one to look.”

“ CHILL. I’m only kidding. I’m positive if it wasn’t a pothole it was a baby squirrel. Don’t you got one of those pet trackers inserted in her? Hop in. You see that house three doors down, that’s where I’m going. I’ll help you look until I pull into the driveway and if we don’t find it by then, then well... guess you’re shit out of luck with a search party of two. ”

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- AJ - 

“Just unlock the door, Mendes. She didn’t but I assumed as much. I figured a stay in the hamptons at the Fitzgerald household would come equipped with a few pests and pets. Drop Lexy boy.” 

“ I was going to share a welcome back blunt with you but I think I’ll revoke the offer before even offering it up to you, Lexy boy. Can’t say I’ve miss that sass of yours but it’s nice to be back, ain’t it? You need help with your luggage, princess? ”

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- CAMERON  - 

               “But the hair, man–– the hair. You just know it’s like the fuckin’ Amazon after a seven-day monsoon down there. I mean, not even Noah, the dude who had Jesus H. Christ on his side could build an arc fit for that climate,” A smile cracked at his lips, clearly amused by the topic at hand, “Question: can it be a young Pamela Anderson? Because I’d dick down a young Pam any day, Aids and all. At least then you could smother yourself in her boobs while she’s sleeping.”

“ I think I’ll let my fist take a dip into the amazon jungle than a death sentence. Still too many people who haven’t had the chance to meet me, you know? It’s all for the greater good. No. 2017 Pammy, still got those boobs only with an incurable STI. - Props to her surgeon, they did a great job. They’re still as perky as the Bay Watch days. ”

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- CAMERON KLEIN -

                “Okay, fuck–– fine… I’ll admit, that was a lame one,” The hooded male protested, amused chagrin in his tone, words delivering at the tail-end of a loud exhale, “How about this: would you rather fist Andre the Giant, or be fisted by Andre the Giant?” He offered, demeanour deadpan, as if it were a momentous question in deciding one’s fate, “–– And no, death isn’t an option in this one. Though getting Andre’s ape hand rammed up your honey hole might do it for you, I shit you fuckin’ not–” 

“ EASY. Fist him m’self. It’s be like sticking a pea up your nose. Can’t even fucking feel it. Andre’s fist is built for sticking it up cows asses, not humans. How bout this one.. Elton John or Pamela Anderson but she’s got an incurable STI. ”  

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- CLEO CALYPSO -

“You haven’t seen a little cat run this way, have you?” Cleo asked, her voice quiet and timid as always. “She’s only about yay big, white with black spots all down her back. I think she may have run off again, I just don’t know where…” She trailed off, letting out a soft but distressed sigh.

“ CAN’T say I have. Though I did hit a particularly small speed bump on my way in...” The boy paused flicking his sunglasses up and nodding his head behind him, “check my wheels, I don’t think I ran your pussycat over but you can never be sure. ”

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- AJ KENNEDY -

“You haven’t seen Sutton Fitzgerald by chance, have you?” The boy adjusts the black duffel bag hanging from his shoulder, blue eyes hidden behind a pair of dark wayfarers, “the maintance guy is starting to give me the look that security will be escorting me out soon. I’ve been waiting for her for an hour now.”

“ DON’T gotta worry about the security guard coming bro, Fitzgerald is fucking him silly on his segway. Passed by them going at it doggy style on my way in. I got a key. Sutton tell you I’m staying with ya’ll again, Lexy boy?“

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u didn't answer my question

i said what i said

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Wallpaper. - Fucking Best Song Everrr

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let me just slide in here like I’m not hours late.. hey all I’m kenzie. she+her. I’ve got a bit about my boy talan below the cut

He was born and raised in southern calfiornia. he’s from new money.. his parents both built themselves up from the ground.

the apple fell very, very far from the tree with talan who is the poster boy for lazy rich boi

was living off his parents up until two years ago when they got sick of him not doing shit and cut him off. 

talan kinda brushed it off as a joke and continued living it up in Ibiza swiping and snorting off his amex black card until it was declined

he went back and really had it out with his dad, who ended up just cutting ties with him completely. talan is really care free and doesn’t talk about his family because it’s emotionally exhausting to him tbh even tho there’s not much to the story other than he’s a piece of shit and his parents cut him off lmfao

He tells people he CHOSE to leave behind the money because it was a toxic life lmfaoo and now he just floats around like a nomad, couch surfing from place to place until they too get sick of him

he’s your local drug seller - so if you want the goods hit him up. he’s got a shitty burner phone that he does business deals on and keeps his stash hidden under his bed in a crotchet bag he bought from peru.  

he was actually super smart growing up and was heavily into basketball but his team mates got him into that hollywood party scene and that was the end of his academic and sporting career.

he’s actually just your homeless druglord™. i should make that his new label

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