emil | 24 | nb lesbian (any/all) | i have memory issues
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Text

crazy coincidence happened couple of days ago
8K notes
·
View notes
Text
and i know people mean well when they give employment advice but god damn some of them its like "did you try submitting your resume to a place that is hiring" fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck no kidding. shit. ive just been printing them out and eating them. yeah thanks i'll try that
97K notes
·
View notes
Text

shhhh... shhhhhhhhhh..... too loud ...... shhhhhg.....
14K notes
·
View notes
Text

Babe, is everything okay? You've barely touched your Castlevania: Symphony of the Night stove
22K notes
·
View notes
Text
I wish computers worked like they do in 80s cronenberg movies. Like you type in “WHATS WRONG WITH ME” and the computer says “50% BRUNDLE. 50% FLY”
19K notes
·
View notes
Text
Hundreds of people get stung by dogs every year
15K notes
·
View notes
Text
apparently one of the ways to say "shaved my head" in Japanese is "頭を坊主にした" which is literally something like "did the monk thing to my head"
66K notes
·
View notes