tamatama-kilo

[tamatama-kilo]

Analyzing Jax's Spiral

1.) The prequel

Before Jax even started his self-destructive behavior, he was really off.

He summoned Caine to piss of Zooble and forgot the reason he did it to begin with.

He totally zoned out when Caine gave directions.

And when accused of some grand plan with Pomni...

...he had no idea what she was talking about.

I believe all of these above are examples of Jax's mask slipping. Jax let his guard down, and now we're starting to see that he's just some dopey guy that's barely reached adulthood.

Jax wants to look like a profound mastermind but he simply is not.

2.) He becomes self-aware

When Ragatha accuses him of getting close to Pomni to corrupt her, he loses it. Ragatha probably meant "I know that you're trying to get Pomni to partake in your antisocial and abusive bullying behavior," but Jax heard it as "You're choosing to get close to someone again to drag them to abstraction." This is where he becomes extra aware of his relationship with Pomni.

3.) He tries to play it cool but realizes he's getting Pomni hurt.

Jax really does try to keep opening up to Pomni. He revealed that his fear of corn is rooted in trypophobia, and when Pomni points out that she's getting to know him, he probably thinks back to what Ragatha said. I'm guessing his thoughts are along the lines of "Ragatha said I'm getting closer to Pomni to make her abstract like my past friends."

I'm going to come back to why it had to be Ragatha specifically to start his spiral.

With that on his mind, we get the shootout with Kinger in the dark room.

Although it was accidental, he hurt Pomni, and he apologized right away. He certainly felt bad.

They're both almost back to normal during the scene when they pursue Zooble to their room. After their duet, Jax gets the idea to break into Zooble's room with one of his many keys.

That caused Zooble to absolutely demolish them both and caused them to lose a life.

Zooble ran away and Pomni immediately went to pursue them.

Jax got afraid of Pomni taking on Zooble alone but he stayed behind to contemplate in the hallway.

He's super distressed over seeing Kaufmo's and Ribbit's doors. He just watched Pomni get hurt in this very hallway mere moments ago, so he connects it to the friends he failed to save. Jax made the connection that HE is the problem. His companionship is what causes people to get hurt, to abstract.

I believe this is the moment where Jax realizes he NEEDS to distance himself from Pomni.

And, in my opinion, that's why Jax reacted so strangely to Pomni's hug. He likes her and he enjoyed the hug but he's in too deep. He has to physically and metaphorically push her away.

I'm not entirely sure about his reaction here, but he keeps staring at the hand that pushed Pomni while Pomni has already moved on. He's touched her before, so what is it? Grief? Guilt? Regret? Love? You could make an argument for all of the above.

Either way, the last thing on Jax's mind is to hurt Pomni physically. He's wayyy too traumatized for that. Instead, he's hoping that Pomni will make it easy for him distance himself by shooting him. Physically, Jax would go to another room. Emotionally, Jax would have an excuse to push Pomni away. Instead, Pomni sussed him out and called him out on it.

Jax tried everything to get her to shoot him. He heckled her, claimed they weren't a team, and was an all around jerk to her uncharacteristically after what she thought was a wonderful day together. Again, he references Ragatha. I promise I'll get back to her.

Pomni picks up on exactly what Jax is doing. He wants to end their friendship. But why? That's why she tries to reason with him. She finally hit a nerve when she brought up abstraction.

He thinks she's blaming him for the abstraction of Ribbit, the friend that Pomni didn't even know. Once she sees his mask drop, she hones in on the abstraction conversation.

Jax claims that he'd move on and forget about her. For a moment, I actually think she believed him and considered turning the gun on herself before Jax backtracked and claimed it was a joke.

Pomni, being the incredibly emotionally mature and intelligent person she is, cracked the code. She knows that Jax is so afraid of her abstracting and that's why he won't hurt her physically. THAT is why Pomni fought him. She wanted to confirm her theory.

Jax pretty much admitted it himself. He tries HARD to mask again by going full villain and claiming that he's a some sort of sociopath that derives pleasure from the pain of others.

This is where I finally talk about Ragatha. Jax acts extremely mean to Ragatha. He's disproportionately cruel to her even though she's so kind. I think what Jax is doing here is exactly what he did to Ragatha, and she didn't pick up on the core of his insecurities like Pomni. Ragatha would never get physical like that. Ragatha DOES believe his villain persona is real.

To me, Ragatha admitting that she failed Jax is implying something deeper: she didn't always hate him; she once loved him. She probably still does in a way. And Jax? Ragatha knew Ribbit and Kaufmo. He's probably terrified of losing someone like Ragatha, so he pushed her away before she could abstract. To him, it's probably working since she's still around.

Back to Pomni- Jax finally fully cracks and shows that part of himself to Pomni.

Pomni did what nobody else would do and saw what nobody else could see. For whatever reason, Jax doesn't swear, but he did in front of Pomni. I think he was finally too tired to hide his real feelings, and honestly, I don't think he wanted to since he was aching over the very real pain he caused Pomni. Not to mention, he knew that Pomni saw through his behavior.

Jax's plea at the end was that of desperation. He knew he lost the battle but there's nothing more to say. He's begging Pomni to just pretend that his mask is the real and to not pursue him; to give up just like everyone else had.

But Pomni won't just give up on anyone like that. She watches him through the award show. She knows he's unwell because he's avoiding her and left mid show. Even better, she now has Ragatha by her side through it all.

Now Ragatha is also armed with the knowledge that Jax is a broken guy who uses his toxic behavior to "save" people from him. Trust me, this isn't the end of Jax. I think we're finally going to see Jax and Ragatha come together to fix their issues, and for Jax and Pomni to build a bond stronger than any other in the circus.

[tamatama-kilo]

The 2025 Gender Census is now open!

[ Link to survey ]

The 12th annual international gender census, collecting information about the language we use to refer to ourselves and each other, is now open until 30th August 2025.

It’s short and easy, for most participants it takes 5 minutes or less.

After the survey is closed I’ll process the results and publish a spreadsheet of the data and a report summarising the main findings. Then anyone can use them for academic or business purposes, self-advocacy, tracking the popularity of language over time, and just feeling like we’re part of a huge and diverse community.

If you think you might have friends and followers who’d be interested, please do reblog this blog post, and share the survey URL by email or at AFK social groups or on other social networks. Every share is extremely helpful!

Survey URL: https://survey.gendercensus.com

The survey is open to anyone anywhere who speaks English and feels that the gender binary doesn’t fully describe their experience of themselves and their gender(s) or lack thereof.

If you can't wait for survey numbers, you can click here for a public spreadsheet of non-secret info with graphs as it comes in, updated manually a few times per day.

Thank you so much!

[ Link to survey ]

[tamatama-kilo]

it is actually really funny to be split between the constant duality of putting myself in a repressed headlock ("if i even suggest the idea of being a person who is attracted to other people i will die of embarrassment and guilt") vs the version of myself who in a fit of anguish with the state of the world will commission art of myself with a pretty fictional woman hugging me

[tamatama-kilo]

please help me survive homelessness!

making a new post bc the venmo issue isnt getting resolved any time soon.

i'm an autistic guy living in my car. i've been unable to get approved for government assistance, and have no family to turn to, so i'll be living in my car for the forseeable future. please consider helping me survive!

i appreciate any amount donated to the links below, or a boost. thank you!

ca

kf

DM for paypal

[tamatama-kilo]

Collecting these like pokemons

[tamatama-kilo]

Yoooooooo

So the government just defunded PBS and NPR which is fucked. That being said, the public can cover the damage if we orginize and donate.

Only about $1.60 of tax dollars per US citizen per year are spent on the public broadcasting budget. NPR and PBS offer beong able to make small monthly donations, some being 7$ per month or lower if you want.

If you want to donate 1.60$ per month to your local station, you can multiply how much funding they get from you by 12. If you do their monthly donation of $7 per month, your donation can equal the tax dollars of 54 people spent on public broadcasting per year.

If you want to donate to your local station, look them up by your town here to make sure your local stations get helped specifically:

[tamatama-kilo]

fuck hussle culture, the toad to success is to sleep well, eat well and have fun

[tamatama-kilo]

god. they make me. insane.

When the edge mchedge asks for hugs and kisses, you are legally obligated to give them. No exceptions. >:3

(Individual panels below if ya wanna better view)

[tamatama-kilo]

me too bro me too

[tamatama-kilo]

I never got to post this here, but happy pride <33

[tamatama-kilo]

[tamatama-kilo]

Until next time!

[tamatama-kilo]

[tamatama-kilo]

:))

[tamatama-kilo]

IT'S LITERALLY PEAK GUYS. YALL DON'T UNDERSTAND.

were making a fic out of the rp so eventually you can read it for yourself.... heheheh

Shadow Milk is not staying.

-

This is a scene from a rp I did with my buddy, @orcamantis !!

In this, Smilk has tried every single thing he could come up with to get the Soul Jam back. He was desperate enough to do anything to retrieve what belonged to him. Seduction was his last idea. All he needed was pretend to be a beautiful lady, use his charms and he'd have foolish PV under his thumb, right?

Now, the scene right here.

By this point, PV has already realized who this cookie truly is, and he let's Smilk sleep with him after talking. But Smilk couldn't sleep. He felt bad. He couldn't and shouldn't like PV, but he also wanted to stay... he didn't. He ran away.

tysm Kilo for writing that scene <3

[tamatama-kilo]

[tamatama-kilo]

I personally wanna see less 'you are not a burden/it's not work to love you' and more 'you are worth the work it takes to love you.' I KNOW I'm a burden sometimes. that isn't such a terrible thing! humans are strong. we can carry burdens. and it is work for me to be there for my friends, but it's work I'm willing to do.

we need to acknowledge this because pretending love isn't work will never make people like me feel less guilty for accepting love. we need to talk about it so people don't feel bad for having boundaries and not always being up to do the work. we need to accept it so we can properly appreciate what others do for us and what we're doing for them.

yes it does take work to love you. but guess what? you still deserve love, and you deserve people who are willing to do the work to love you. it doesn't make you bad. all love take work. and everyone is worth it.