A space for me to keep all the thoughts my imagination runs wild with
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A Green Bay
Some days for no real reason, I think about trying a cinder block to my ankles and jumping from the dock into the lake. The Cove behind my house is not particularly clean and the water is green. I would wear a black flowy dress and do my best makeup, I would look beautiful under the green water with the light streaming down. Hair and dress float with pale skin contrasting the dark water below. There's nothing glorious about death but mine will be beautiful.
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Early morning revelation
I'm watching the sunrise. I know this is technically not a late-night tangent, but more of an early morning Revelation. As I lay here staring at the silhouettes of leaf barren trees against an ombre of blue and orange, the only thing I can think about is that I'm watching alone. I can still see a silver sliver of the Moon and several Stars surrounded by the retreating blue. How much more beautiful would it be if I had someone here to enjoy this new sky with me. They say you should see a sunrise every day, but it never dawned on me how short of a window you have to catch one. In a few minutes it has taken me to write these words, the Verizon has gone from a pale yellow to a fierce burn an orange with a Halo of pure light picking out over the hill across my window. If I had someone I loved you with me, I'd see them in a whole new light. Softer shades bring out different features of their face and the soft whisper of a sleepy voice remind me why I fell in love with them. If a single distant star can make them smile, I would be happy every time I looked at the sky.
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He
I don't know who he is or how I know him. When he appears it's as if he appears for me, to show me something. Warm rain and cooling wind, the surprising flash... I love his displays. With him I am alive. Yes he is violent, but once he passes and the sun dips down there is not a sight more beautiful.
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Staying found
Just as cold is actually the lack of heat, and what we know as darkness is no more than the absence of light, so is getting lost and entirely negative State of affairs. We become lost not because of anything we do, but because of what we leave undone ... for there is just one method to keep from getting lost and that is to stay found.
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Call of the void
The urge to die runs from my heart, all through my left arm and spreads into my finger tips
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From all Ranges
“A range of emotions” I rather like this phrase. I’ve always imagined emotions to be like the geography of the earth. High mountain peaks are the best times of our lives, deep valley trenches the moments when we cant even love ourselves, dry deserts for when life is only mundane, and freezing terrain for our bitterness we put off unto others. All vastly different, and all found on our single blue home. From a distant satellite the world looks smooth and beautiful despite its many imperfections. I’d like to image that I’m beautiful in that same way to the people around me.
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Run
There is nothing more peaceful than being smothered in the comfort or a warm, slept in blanket. With windows open and cold, inviting the crisp early morning air in. An enthralling story clutched between recently awoken fingers, grasping from the dark liquid energy flowing through them. Peaking past curtains, still and pale illuminates the scattered remains of a raging weather system.
But cast this calm aside. Throw up the comforts of sleep, toss the novel back at the bookshelf and run. Push past the coffee pot and the complacency of dawn and run. Run until your lungs burn, your heart is thunder, and the earth is no longer distinguishable from your feet. Run until your head is clear and nothing remains. Stop only then. Inhale this new day and find something new that wasn't in you yesterday.
Now run back.
Do not try to rediscover the curled up warmth and ease of before. You have effectively killed it. Tranquility is replaced by thrill. Lethargic movements transformed into rough adrenaline fueled ones. A caffeine dependency traded for a unquenchable thirst for adventure.
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