tanstaaflz

[tanstaaflz]

the way they chose not to finish telling dean’s story. that gets me. they chose not to let him speak. they chose not to let him grow old. they chose not to let him be his authentic self when he was finally starting to practice self love. the way he didn’t want to go out with a bang, he wanted to be a mechanic, he wanted to pet behind miracle’s ears while watching some old western, he wanted to be able to wake up late and get a full 8 hours, or maybe 12 some nights, and he wanted to live. dean wanted to live. dean winchester, the man who wrote the book on self sacrifice, on self hate, on self inflicted pain, the man who always wanted to bear the burden so that no one else had to, that dean winchester wanted to live. 

he deserved to live. 

[tanstaaflz]

❤🌈✊

Supernatural 15x20 LGBT angle

You thought I was done.

Here's the T from the angle I've been watching this show for far too long, just waiting, waiting, waiting for them to step up. CW, I'm looking at you.

They literally killed off the gays after they proclaimed their love. They literally killed off Cas for coming out. They killed off Dean so he didn't have to. They robbed both main, queer characters from a happy ending, so the heteronormative character could have his.

This isn't speaking whether that would have been realistic from a character's backstory pov. Cas could have adjusted to a human life. Dean could have worked through his trauma in a human life. Neither of them had to die per se. They could have shacked up with Sam and Eileen to work through their past, their trauma, their codependency and massive communication issues.

Hell, on very optimistic days I even think SPN could have been that show. They evolved from a testosterone driven, monster of the week, painfully queer and female unfriendly show into a slightly-less-of-that show. (Please catch the sarcasm in that last bit.) They could have changed course, but then they should have done that years ago. You can't credibly right that many wrongs in one season or a few episodes, but they could have if they decided to commit to becoming a show that wrote history early on.

They still might have written some history. Cas' queerness is canon. Cas is also dead. Dean's sexuality remains unacknowledged as do his feelings about Cas' love proclamation. But it might be more of a footnote than anything else, while they spent over a decade making their queer fans scavenge and beg. While they apparently looked into Destiel and then still decided against it. Because there is a price tag on queer.

There are writers on this show who gave it their all to fight the network (and other horrible writers) at every turn. To sprinkle in what they could. Which is why we have been forced to dig around for those slivers of our truth, of our reality. A reality that to this day keeps getting buried. Not by its actors, not by some of its writers, but by the networks. By an unyielding part of its fandom.

Which means it is an unyielding part of humanity. But we know this, yes? I now live on a continent where a country has decided to make LGBT free zones a reality.

When I'm feeling particularly cynical, this somehow amuses me. I can walk around in such a zone and they wouldn't peg me. Not for sure. Shall I go ahead and get myself tattooed to save them the trouble? To mark myself for their convenience? Or shall I continue to pass for straight and boldly go where I shouldn't? (I'm passing less and less as I grow older.)

To be fair, I'd much rather burn a few systems to the ground. Burying your gays is one of them. Burying your nameless women for the sake of male drama another. I can look at a show from a certain angle, which I did in my other post. From a 'sure, I've been here for so long, you've done good things and I'm a nostalgic bitch' angle.

This is the angle that cuts much deeper.

I love Misha with all my heart. Having read his wife's book, knowing what he has thrown to the fandom wolves about his personal life, it feels like he is part of the queer community. His wife surely is. If he isn't, then he is one of the staunchest allies. Others posts have kept better track of all the Little Things Misha has done throughout the years to give the fandom its confirmations. I can't wait until he is free to speak his mind, if ever, but I don't necessarily expect him to. The man may have done enough for us.

I love Berens too, though I haven't kept that much track of the writers, but it pays to do so. Because that's when you see the names behind the faces we often hold responsible for the characters.

Sometimes people tell me my standards are too high. That if you look for flaws you're bound to find them. Yes yes. Easy said when you're speaking from that part of the consumers who've been presented with a near endless array of Things To Consume that live up to their reality. This is bigger than SPN, but CW could have made a huge splash.

I'm on the ace spectrum. Fanfiction is my best bet to find stories that hopefully portray some of that adequately. There are a few books and shows/movies out there, but slim pickings. Bisexuals rarely get a good representation. And that's assuming any queer has any chance of a happy ending. By which I mean they get on screen kisses, they get domestics, they get to be happy and survive.

So, yes, darling, my standards are high. Because I'm done having to scavenge for my reality. For the heart of the queer community. For our little things, our domestics and our happy endings. Give them to me on a glorious, silver platter that reflects all the colours of the rainbow.

[tanstaaflz]

O.M.Gawd!!! ❤❤❤

Escaped from the Empty and newly human, Cas is coming for Dean in more ways than one 🤡💙💚

(Don’t repost)

[tanstaaflz]

❤❤❤

@tanstaaflz Love, this is for you, cause you prompted it. Thanks, darling.

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Supernatural Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Castiel & Dean Winchester Characters: Castiel, Castiel (Supernatural), Dean Winchester, The Empty - Character Additional Tags: Coda 15x18, post episode 15x18, For Shits and Giggles, very not serious, but y'know, It could work, Mal wrote a thing, Mal’s brain also leaked out of her ear, Lizard Brain, Dean Prays to Castiel, Dean’s dirty prayers Summary:

Dean’s prayers take a turn for the sensual, which drives The Empty to the brink.

[tanstaaflz]

Thank you, @xylodemon, I'm going to live here for a while:

[tanstaaflz]

[tanstaaflz]

Then suddenly I see you.

[tanstaaflz]

Jensen Ackles | August 28, 2020 [x]

[tanstaaflz]

the bunker + family….. 

[tanstaaflz]

Oh, Julie did the Thing. Again. To my heart. It's totally fine. I'm f i n e

dean/cas fic: Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest (1.6k)

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest: deancas, unrated, 1.6k. inspired by the final episodes trailer.

Dean says, “Look,” and scrubs a hand through his hair. The three of them have been talking in circles for hours; he has a headache, needs a beer. “If Chuck really is—”

He stops dead as something shifts in the air—something that buzzes in his ears, slithers up the back of his neck. Everything is heavy, humming with reverse pressure. Cas’ eyes widen. Dean turns and reaches for the angel blade at his hip.

Sam’s way ahead of him, shouting, “Hey,” as he levels his gun. But the thing—the fucking <i>Empty</i>—just shrugs a liquid-black shoulder and smiles without a mouth.

“You,” Cas says quietly.

“Yes,” the Empty burrs. “Me.”

[read it at AO3]

[tanstaaflz]

[x]

[tanstaaflz]

Happy place ❤

Eurekart Studio on Etsy

[tanstaaflz]

To Know Him - Lang Leav

[tanstaaflz]

Revivere (SPN fic, Sam/Rowena, Dean/Cas)

Rating: T Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/M, M/M Fandom: Supernatural Relationships: Sam/Rowena, Dean/Cas Characters: Sam, Dean, Castiel, Rowena, Original Characters, Chuck, Becky Rosen Additional Tags: Canon Universe, Canon Divergent, Post-Episode: s15e03 (The Rupture), POV Sam Winchester, Witch Sam Winchester, Ruler of Hell Rowena MacLeod, Mythology References, Enochian Magic, Pining, Castiel and Dean Winchester Being Idiots, Magic, Wild Hunt, Case Fic, Defeating Chuck, Sam Winchester’s Visions Language: English Word Count: 15,352 Chapters: 6/8

Rowena is dead, Cas is gone, and Sam and Dean are learning how to live in the world they’ve saved.

But the wound on Sam’s shoulder still won’t heal, and the visions it brings start showing him Cas — in mortal danger from a mysterious Enochian magic-user.

When Dean goes to help him, Sam’s left alone in the bunker with a head full of visions and a dead witch who keeps talking to him, if only when he doesn’t ask her to.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6

[tanstaaflz]

“Intimacy is not who you let touch you. Intimacy is who you text at 3 am about your dreams and fears. Intimacy is giving someone your attention, when ten other people are asking for it. Intimacy is the person always in the back of your mind, no matter how distracted you are.”

[tanstaaflz]

[tanstaaflz]

SUPERNATURAL | 9.10 - ‘Road Trip’