tardigreatest

[tardigreatest]

I think a lot of autistic taking-things-literally goes under the radar because what the diagnostic tests and shit ask about is not what that generally looks like in an adult and often not in kids either and much more importantly it’s not what generally actually causes problems in real life instead of being irritating for caretakers or funny to bullies or easy to diagnose

I have absolutely no issues understanding metaphors or idioms. When someone says their heart is on their sleeve they mean they’re emotionally expressive and openly display their feelings, not that they have a chunk of cardiac tissue on their shirt. I very rarely have issues with sarcasm. I sometimes have issues telling when someone who’s said something mean is about to say “just kidding”, but tbh I think that’s more on them than me.

BUT

My grandmother asked me “Do you know when the trash was taken out last?” and I said “I think Eliot took it out yesterday” and a few hours later she yelled at me for “not taking out the trash when I asked you to” and I was like???? You didn’t ask me????

I dread filling out forms and am crap at filling out diagnostic tests or personality quizzes because there are always questions I don’t know the exact answers to (how am I supposed to know what day I got dental surgery seven years ago?) or don’t understand exactly what they’re asking or the wording’s unclear and they could mean this or the wording says this but I’m pretty sure what they actually meant was this and should I answer what they said or what they meant, and how does everyone else just whip through the form when surely they can’t know all the answers either? Does everyone else remember the day they got dental surgery seven years ago?

I get tangled up by bureaucracy because the rules on the website say that for this you need that and for that you need the other and for the other you need something else for which you need the first thing, and I go in circles for hours or days or weeks or months or years because their stated rules say there is no way to get what I need, and when I talk to somebody else they’re like “just call them?” and I’m like “how could that help? the rules say that what I’m trying to do is impossible”

And all of that? That’s how “taking things literally” ACTUALLY affects your life as an adult. It’s not “haha you think ‘getting under your skin’ means parasites”. It’s “you have real difficulty functioning in the world because everyone else is conveying things through implication and assuming that you know that rules are flexible and questions are approximate and you’re supposed to lie on job applications, and you don’t”.

[tardigreatest]

When you thought it would be easy peasy lemon squeezy but it turns out to be difficult difficult lemon difficult.

[tardigreatest]

🌻🌟follow for more fun diy crafts to do with your friends🌟🌻

[tardigreatest]

everyone says how harry would do numbers on tumblr and ignores how kim would Also absolutely do numbers on tumblr

he said this. in the crime scene. straight up "hitting it". and by "it", haha, well. lets just say. the crime

[tardigreatest]

its so windy my poor poor chickens are being blown around like dry leafs they look like this

[tardigreatest]

[tardigreatest]

[tardigreatest]

when e.e. cummings said “i’ll live my life if it kills me”

[tardigreatest]

shorthands for dumbassery that i have grown to love deeply

"how dare you say we piss on the poor" in response to someone misinterpreting your post

"_ isnt gonna fuck you" for suck up behavior

"woah. should we tell everyone? should we throw a party?" for who the fuck cares

"and what if the world was made of pudding" for when would this ever matter.

"and sharks are smooth both ways" for a group of people heatedly arguing with 1 guy who is fucking with them all

".. but its about a witch in the alps finding her lost cat" for someone trying to sanitize something to the point of absurdity

[tardigreatest]

I do have a superiority complex bc I’ve never worn nor purchased something from Shein

[tardigreatest]

“you’d fumble some girl asking for your star sign by going Um akshually it’s pseudoscience ☝️🤓” she’d fumble me by believing in astrology ngl

[tardigreatest]

René Magritte, The Human Condition, 1933

[tardigreatest]

Come on investors, tumblr perfec t for buying with mpney investment. Very legitimate and profitable investors gain huge internet clout because good site and user base profitable for investor memes. Tumblr yes a place for investors money put money in Tumblr can trust Tumblr user for giveing good legiticmatecy. Friend Tumblr investors money

[tardigreatest]

[tardigreatest]

"fetishes are innate" is a predictable outcome of the "born this way" narrative but it is also very very funny. Being into sonic inflation is something you're born with

[tardigreatest]

what if you wore a shirt that featured a picture of you trying to claw your way out of the shirt with a horrid desperate expression and the text "THAT'S NOT ME THAT'S NOT ME I'M TRAPPED IN THE SHIRT"