tardishijack

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years ago i watched this p/orn and the girl was screaming ‘oh god!! oh god!!!’ and the dude was like ‘there are no gods here’ and to this day it haunts me wtf was he talking about

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*blows a kiss at the ocean (for the sharks)*

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My ID for anyone wondering 😘

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Sugar bowl facts

After couple of years sugaring this is what I’ve observed regarding SD/SB sites

-what I’ve recently read and which is 100% accurate, anyone worth of knowing won’t be in such sites. Full. Stop.

-most of men that have profiles are in best case upper middle class guys. You won’t find a multimillionaire sitting behind his computer chasing girls online. Would you? I wouldn’t. Reality is all of true rich men have access to upscale bars, clubs, restaurants, country clubs, lounges where they can meet dozens of beautiful women, DAILY. In worst case he will book a girl trough established agency (his assistant will) if he is more of an introvert or has no time for socializing.

-top income on these site is NOT above 200k after taxes. And majority of those men are MARRIED, which means his wife has access to his cards/accounts and has knowledge of his financial behavior, do you think she won’t be suspicious if all of a sudden large amounts start missing from his account? Of course she will. Other are divorced with couple of kids, which means ALIMONY. So don’t expect mind blowing amounts spent on you.

-if he offers out of the blue 10k + apartment + car, most likely it is a SCAM. In order a man to be eligible for such spending on someone else his income should be at least 700-800k after taxes. In average, a man won’t spend more than 20% of his income on you. How do y'all think a man who earns 200k-300k will just drop half of his money on you? He also has daily/monthly/yearly expenses of his own. He’ll just go broke because of you? NO. Be realistic.

-there probably is one who is able to spend such amounts on you as mentioned above but finding him on these sites would be a pure luck. Like jackpot once in a blue moon.

-if he doesn’t discuss your allowance and what exactly he can offer in first few messages, he is probably not a legitimate SD, or just a Splenda most likely salt. A real SD knows the game. Don’t fall for that “make me a proposal/offer”. That’s BS.

-if he only offers to communicate via Skype he is almost sure a SCAM. Never settle for this type of communication, either he can video call via Viber or FaceTime. Say you don’t use Skype. Not negotiable.

-if he isn’t ready to provide his photos in first few exchanged texts, DROP him. There is no valid excuse for this. Unless he is on Forbes 100. Or running a Fortune 500 company. Which isn’t close to impossible. Always choose video call over exchanging photos. (What i recently witnessed was a man who sent me photos of a dead US businessman, he probably thought if we are from Europe I won’t know this) -luckily there is google image search

-ALWAYS and I repeat always try with google reverse image search. Also look up his number.

-if he refuses to tell you his full name there is a good reason behind it, a BAD one. Leave him.

-Under NO circumstances negotiate the sexual part of an arrangement, he exactly knows what he will be getting. You get the “dos and donts ” question, block him, real SD never asks such questions over the phone.

-make sure you discuss about his stated budget. Ask if those are his spending habits or he would be actually willing to spend that on you. Does that include only your allowance or it includes all of the monthly expenses he would have regarding you (e.g. Trips, dinners, gifts, shopping sprees etc)

-don’t be shy to ask anything you want to know prior to your meet, if you have any doubts or unclear stuff, ASK.

-if you are traveling/flying out to meet him make sure all of your transportation/flight tickets/hotel room is paid in full, IN ADVANCE, with email confirmation of the receipts which are NON REFUNDABLE. He can always cancel your hotel booking for example.

-if he asks you to fly out but to buy your own tickets and he’ll reimburse you when you meet, NEVER do this!!! Real SD would never ever propose such situation, or he will send you money prior to your meet so you can purchase it, if he doesn’t want it to be shown on his credit card.

-always bring your own money to a pot date, no matter if it’s just a coffee date or dinner or flying over to other city/country. Remember, he can walk out on you any time and leave you out to dry. Imagine if you don’t like him really and need to for example take another room, take your ticket earlier, take a taxi home etc, possibilities are endless. Make sure you are SAFE regarding funds.

-NEVER send more than 4 photos (2 showing your face and upper body and two showing your body from different angles/poses) any of these men asking for more are pic collectors. Whenever you can choose a video call over exchanging photos.

-if you meet him and he looks different than his photos LEAVE immediately. EVACUATE. Code RED. You think he is providing something substantial if he can’t even provide a proper photo of himself? NO.

-Never ever agree to unprotected sex. No excuses are valid enough. Even though you are in a long term arrangement he probably is seeing other women too. Unless he’ll provide you a STD check (HIV, HPV, HEP a, b, c too) not older than 48h prior to your rendezvous, from a clinic you personally chose. Medical checks, reports can be forged.

-make sure that you first get your end before giving him his part of the bargain. FIRST THE MONEY THEN THE HONEY. No peep shows, no trial periods, no compatibility checks. You see a meal you never tried in a restaurant, decided to order from the menu, you didn’t really like it, yet you still have to pay for it? YES.

-Do not fall for the first man that texts you, sugaring REQUIRES patience and practice.

-Do not settle for exclusivity unless all of your monthly expenses are fully covered plus there is spending money left, and enough for at least a month if he drops you out of the blue. Don’t think you will ever be his one and only.

-When he says NO DRAMA in his profile text that means no drama from you, not from him. No PROs or ESCORTs means he can’t afford one or he can’t afford to be screened, because he has something to hide - something BAD.

-if he is not able to meet in few days after your initial conversation he is most likely a TIME WASTER, or if he books you a ticket and not confirm two three days before the actual meet do not go, unless you want a free trip and have an interest of your own visiting that place.

-if he offers less than a 5* hotel accommodation, drop that cheap ass, he probably is just a SALT.

-when he states most important things for him are connection and affection he has no intention of compensating for your time.

-there is no UPPER age limits for being a sugar baby, you think he wouldn’t date J-Lo ? Yes he would but he can’t afford it! When guy says he prefers very young girls it’s because he knows they are easier to trick and have lack of experience.

-REMEMBER: if something is too good to be true it’s because it usually is. Don’t fall for words, SEEING is BELIEVING.

-if he somehow gets uncomfortable when getting a bill in the restaurant or makes comments on prices or starts making a face, never see him again, no real SD will make a comment over couple of bucks. If possible, check how much he tipped the waiter.

-if he says along the way he isn’t into luxury and prefers something more humble/down to earth, leave that mofo, YOU ARE a LUXURY.

-if he is too demanding compared to what he is providing, he is actually using you, do not fall for that (ask for way to many photos/text exchange etc)

Always keep this small reminder in your head.

Happy sugaring!!!

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5 Things rich men notice

quality successful men noticed in women was their hair. Most disapproved of women who had unkempt locks and/or sported an unnatural color or style. A man of stature is under constant scrutiny, but also keep in mind that he is likely an alpha male in his own right; running into colleagues or business partners at lunch would prove awkward and deeply embarrassing if he is seen with a moving Hot Topic ad. Keeping hair to a natural hue and focusing on how healthy it looks ups your chances greatly. After all, hair growth and quality is highly dependent on hormones and nutrition — an alpha male wants to show that he picked the best out of the dating pool.

A sense of self was the fourth on the list. A common deal breaker with employers during an interview is a candidates pretending or exaggerating their understanding of a certain subject. Our survey found that this was also a big pet peeve among successful men looking to date, particularly in cases where women lied about the extent of their knowledge when it came to current events, politics and culture.

The way a woman carries herself when she walks, or her gait, was third on the list. 26% of those surveyed said that a proper balance of speed and posture exuded grace, which caught their attention regardless of what task they had at hand. Gait defines public presence.

Posture was the second most important quality. It shows manners and confidence, two key qualities successful men sought in wives. 78% claimed that beautiful women who slouched greatly decreased their overall beauty.

The number one most important quality or indicator that successful men noticed in a woman was the quality of verbal and written communication. Although most used text or email messaging, 53% of the men surveyed preferred verbal communication. Misspellings or inappropriate abbreviations were considered deal breakers. The ability to hold a conversation is vital when dealing with men of high power and wealth, as most meetings and deals are still handled face to face.

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all are welcome

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someone: you’re a two faced bitch

me: um actually,,,,, i’m a 27 faced bitch tyvm

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*losing friends rapidly* feels natural, feels organic

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someone: so what's it like having bpd?

me: *forgets every single symptom i've ever had* eh idk i'm just like depressed and kinda moody

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bpd is like having a goblin in your brain that spins a wheel to decide your emotions at any given situation

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That bpd feeling when someone is literally choosing to spend time with you and you convince yourself that they hate everything you say and do

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Person: how r u

Me:

My brain: DEATHDEATHDEATHDEATHDEATHDEATHDEATHDEATHDEATHDEATHDEATHDEATHDEATHDEATHDEATHDEATHDEATH

Me: oh same old 🐸☕️ wbu