tarnishedxknight
tarnishedxknight
I know something of cages.
4K posts
"If I could protect but one person from war's horror, then I would bear any shame. I would bear it proudly." | Indie Final Fantasy XII multimuse blog featuring Basch fon Ronsenburg and other canon & OC muses | See pinned post for Rules & Current Muse List | Penned by Silence | AU, Crossover, & OC Friendly | Any NSFW will be tagged: nsfw | Side blog of fallxnprxnce | All muses at least 20+, Mun is 40+ | 20+ Muns Only Please!
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tarnishedxknight · 18 hours ago
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{out of dalmasca} Aaaaaand I got almost nothing done tonight, heh. I have no excuse except that I dragged ass tonight for no reason. I did have a long day, though, so I'm rather tired. I'm so not done here, though, not by a long shot, haha. What I'm gonna do... since I still have Tues/Weds nights free until classes start again... is I'm going to just keep writing here tomorrow (7/28) and I'll bump my multimuse to Tues (7/29). I should have a lot of time to write on both days, so that'll work. So yeah, I'll see everyone back here tomorrow, and then on my multimuse on Tues. Goodnight! =)
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tarnishedxknight · 18 hours ago
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"Over here!" Mambu hissed, and gestured quickly for the woman to come to him. He could hear the Imperials coming in hot, and while he knew not who she was or why she was running from them--
He was not one to leave anyone to suffer at their hands.
As soon as she ran to him, he ushered her inside his little home and closed the door. He hurried across to the back wall and, with a grunt, dug his claws into small cracks as he pried away a section of bricks, revealing a dark passage hidden behind. "In here," he instructed, and glanced back to her. Not once asking for her name. Not once introducing himself. Formalities could wait - he needed to act quickly. "There's another false wall at the end of the passage. You can either hide in here or escape into the waterway, but if you stay, wait until I get you before you come out. I will let you know when the Imperials are gone."
(( @lightinxthedark for Amalia!))
@lightinxthedark
Ashe's Amalia's heart was pounding in her chest as she ran from the Imperial foot soldiers, ashamed that she even had to do so. But although she still held onto the sword Basch had given her years prior - he may be a traitor but she still learned all she knew of weapons from him - she knew she was no match for trained Imperials. And her supposedly stalwart protector was... conveniently nowhere to be seen, yet again.
It always seemed to happen that way, that when she needed him most, he wasn't there. What did he do when he was apart from her? Sometimes she wondered. Oh, he'd swoop in at the last minute, usually, but Amalia didn't understand why Vossler couldn't just... stay with her. She didn't... always want that, but she knew she needed it. A cruel reality at best, but then... everything was cruel right now for Dalmasca. And as much as she disliked the man, at least he hadn't betrayed her and murdered her father the way Basch had. She just tried not to think about certain things Vossler done before and focused on all he'd done for her since then.
She'd looked around for him when she felt like she was being tailed by a pair of Imperials. Was that real or just her paranoia? She didn't know, and she didn't see Vossler anywhere, so she hurried into an alley, and-
And they followed her. They are pursuing me!
Her terror caused her to run, and she swore she heard the clanking of their armor as they ran after her. Panic was setting in as she did all she could to lose them, but she was running out of options. Eventually, she would hit a dead end road and have to turn and fight. Her hand gripped the hilt of her sword so tightly that her fingers hurt from it.
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But then... a voice further down in the alleyway she'd turned down caught her attention. A Bangaa, he looked like from here. Was... was he talking to her? As she watched, he waved her in and hissed out his offer of help. There was no time to think, so she ran to him, following him into his small home. Breathing hard, she watched as he clsoed the door and crossed the room to open a second one. Amalia sheathed her sword as a gesture of trust, and goodness knows she trusted a Bangaa of Lowtown far more than she did anyone of Archadia. Even more than she trusted Vossler at times.
As he explained that she could either wait for him in the passage or continue on to the Garamsythe, she found it easy to make the decision. There were creatures in the waterway she was not sure she could manage on her own, and so... "I shall wait for you here rather than proceed to the waterway. Thank you," she said, not realizing that the way she spoke, her word choice in particular, designated her as someone from Rabanastre proper, not someone who'd grown up in Lowtown. This seemed to be at odds with her clothing, which was decidedly that of Lowtown's residents.
It crossed her mind as she sat alone and waited for the Bangaa to return that he might be looking to turn her over to the imperials for... well maybe for gil or some other boon. It disgusted her to think that Dalmascans might do such things, but she also knew many of them had fallen on hard times since the start of the occupation. Still, it was a fear on her mind as she tried to calm herself, being as quiet as she could, hoping this particular citizen of Lowtown was an honorable one.
For... even after all that had happened, she was still searching for honor in the world. She'd been raised to believe in its existence and power, and so she wasn't going to believe it was ever truly dead in the world. It was only that it was elusive, surely. She just had to find it.
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tarnishedxknight · 19 hours ago
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Gabranth was immediately sorry for the concern in Wanda's voice, put there by his foolishness at coming to her room instead of just dealing with this alone as he ought to have. He tried to keep the pain from his expression, but this wound was extremely painful and more serious than any he'd had in a long time.
As she laid out what had to happen, Gabranth knew this wouldn't be easy. Bracing himself for the agony to come, he slowly pushed himself to sit up and move to the edge of the bed. Slowly and carefully, he started to undo all the buckles and clasps of his armor, freeing various pieces enough to crack them open and draw them off of himself. He was grateful for Wanda's help, for he couldn't always move in the ways he needed to, but with some little direction here and there, she was able to get him out of his elaborate suit of armor, bit by bit.
Gabranth's gambeson underneath his armor was soaked through on his right side, a gash in the fabric indicating the location of the wound if the blood was not enough. Slowly, he undid its buckles as well and painstakingly slipped it off his shoulders and arms. The look of the wound underneath was terrifying, the deep wound now freshly bleeding from all his efforts.
"It will heal on its own..." he forced out. "I just... need time..." Oh, but he knew that was not going to fly with her, not now that she had eyes on the wound. Emotion would cause her to want to help him, and he knew nothing he could say with deter her.
@tarnishedxnight (from Noah) “ unexpected guest “
@tarnishedxknight
Wanda had noticed her door to her chambers was slightly ajar, something she knew she hadn't done. Instantly her guard was up, magic weaving its way through her fingers as she approached. Pushing the door open slightly, the sight that greeted her both surprised and worried her. There on her bed lay Judge Magister Gabranth. She didn't need to get too close to see he was injured, she could tell from the fact he had was laying on the bed in the first place. Quickly closing the door behind her, she rushed to his side, her hand resting gently against his cheek.
"Gabranth.." she whispered, her gaze moving over him to see where he was injured. "Noah... I need you to wake. What's happened, who did this to you?"
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tarnishedxknight · 20 hours ago
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Oh, the way Wanda scratched at his neck went straight to Basch's loins. He couldn't help it, such things were still so new to him, even though he'd been with Wanda for a while now. Months couldn't erase a lifetime of repression, not that quickly. He grinned ear to hear, his eyes closing as he leaned in closer to her. She always smelled so good, and he could get lost in her warmth forever.
"I am trying my best to not be lewd, my love," Basch said. Ah, but he was failing at that, even with his valiant effort. "Aye, 'tis very good we are in this time. As she kissed him and pressed her body against his, he was made even more aware of just how badly he was failing at keeping his body reined in. "Unfortunately, due to your careful attention of me, I seem to have forgotten my schedule for this afternoon entirely..." he whispered against her lips. "If my lady is amenable to it, we may as well retire to our quarters..."
And nothing else is quite the same as how I feel when I'm at your side. (For Basch)
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"Do you mean that, my love?" Basch asked innocently with hope in his tone. Despite how smoothly and wonderfully their relationship had blossomed thus far, there were moments when Basch still could scarcely believe he had such an amazing woman in his life. Sometimes he worried that maybe Wanda was not as into him as he was into her. Hearing her say things like that, though, got his hopes way up. "I must admit that the way I feel at your side is very special as well. You make me feel as no other in my life has. I surrender to you, completely," he said with no small amount of deep, knightly love and devotion.
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tarnishedxknight · 20 hours ago
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tarnishedxknight · 20 hours ago
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"If one believes Xenos' word, aye, we've proof. Howe'er, if not..." Drace said. "'Tis not that I do not believe him. I do. But Emperor Gramis may require more proof than simply his word alone. I suppose we will know once Gabranth returns to us." She listened as Wanda explained about the room and how it was hidden from obvious view. "Gabranth will likely wish you to testify to that before His Excellency. If he was there with you, that may be enough of a connection, enough proof, to tie everything together."
The idea of feeling someone's sadness emanating from a secret room was both an incredible and a heartbreaking one for Drace to consider. "You are able to... feel emotions from others? Even if they are not close by? 'Tis an astonishing ability. I've ne'er heard of its like before. Xenos was lucky, then, that someone with your rare and unique skillset happened by when you did." She too, wondered what would have happened had Wanda not freed Xenos. It made her wonder what Xenos was capable of, exactly, that would have been of value to Cid and Vayne, but now was not the time to grill him with such questions.
When Wanda lifted Xenos' cloak, Drace was struck with surprise regarding two things: how hume-like his back appeared, and the savage look of the scars upon it. She couldn't help but stand and take a couple steps closer to peer at them. Her sense of justice immediately flared. "Who gave you these lashes, Xenos?" Drace asked.
Xenos peered back over his shoulder at her through the fabric of his hood. "Did not... know them," he answered simply. "Soldier? Wore helmet," he said, making a motion with his hand over his face, as one might when slipping on a helm.
"Who ordered them to do so, then?" she asked.
Her strong tone made Xenos a bit nervous. Was she angry with him about something? "Cid," he replied.
"For what reason?" she asked, unable to help her authoritative tone at first, but then she thought better of it when he sharply flinched at it. "Forgive my tone. I am not cross with you, Xenos, I am appalled at the cruelty you were subjected to."
Oh? She was mad at them? Not him? That caused him to relax a bit. "Refused order. Cid... got mad."
"What was the order?" she asked, mindful of her tone this time.
"To practice. De-... Destructive... magic," he said.
"I see," Drace said, letting Wanda take over as she mulled over things. Destructive magic? Good gods, what is Vayne planning? Or Cid, for that matter?
"Trust you," Xenos said to Wanda with a sweetness that didn't seem to fully match the ominous way he was shrouded or his deep, masculine voice, giving her the go-ahead to try and do what she could for him. He smiled as he felt the warmth of her magic caressing his back and loved the feel of her energy. Xenos could feel Wanda in that energy, as well as if she had hugged him herself. It was like a nice heated blanket draped over him, and gradually his discomfort was somewhat alleviated.
He turned his head to peer at Wanda now over his other shoulder. "It feels... nice. Warm. Better," he replied. "Thank you."
"Who are you? I do not believe we have met." (for Xenos because reasons)
It had been Gabranth's duty to show the Emperor's new sage around the palace and the capital city, helping to familiarize her with important locations she may need to know during her stay. If she was to assist His Eminence with war strategies and grant him advice on what direction to take the Empire in the future, she would need to know what was going on there. Thus, one of the stops on their tour was the Draklor Laboratory.
The Laboratory was a massive seventy-floor building within which all sorts of research important to the Empire was conducted. Everything from airship design, to weapons development, and magical pursuits were studied there, and at some of the topmost floors were the offices and lab of Dr. Cidolfus Demen Bunansa, known by most as Dr. Cid. He was not only the head researcher of Draklor Laboratory, he was also the chief writer of science, technology, and magical policies for the Archadian Imperial Army, which funded the Laboratory. Dr. Cid was also one of Vayne Solidor's main go-tos for secret nethicite research serving the prince's agenda.
Gabranth took Wanda up to Dr. Cid's offices, but the man was not there. This was typical, for Cid was always something of a free spirit, and he often went out in search of materials for his experiments. He took Wanda on to see Cid's laboratory anyway, explaining to her that this was where the Empire was attempting to safely study the effects of nethicite. Even as he said it, though, he scarcely believed his own words. Cid was anything but safe. If rumors were true, and Gabranth had at least some evidence in support of them, then Cid's might was slowly beginning to slip. Regardless, Gabranth gave Wanda a superficial look at the lab, for she mostly just needed to know where it was, in case she needed to talk to Cid at some point, and not so much its intricate inner workings.
When she seemed to stop by a rather ornate looking set of double doors - doors with a strong magical ward for a locking system - Gabranth was soon tasked with explaining that, no, Cid did not experiment on living beings. His research was mostly chemical, magical, and technological. He wondered why Wanda would fixate on the doors and ask such a question, but none of his spies or his own reconnaissance had indicated that Cid was experimenting with live creatures. "It may be a storage room for nethicite or other highly dangerous magical components," he explained, feeling the Mist within him stirring, and not just because of the magical lock on the doors. In his mind, that was the only explanation that made sense.
Oh, but there was a living being inside the room, and he was quite tortured, frightened, and sad. His emotion was so thick and heavy, it came off him in waves to one who was even mildly empathetic like Wanda. Even through a magically locked door, the imprisoned and enslaved being Xenos gave off a heartbreaking and desperate amount of suffering that permeated the room and even beyond it. His magical power also branched out into his surrounding environment, even magically bound such as he was.
When Wanda returned later without Gabranth, that same energy and emotion was apparent the moment she got within the near vicinity of the doors. For someone with magic as unique and versatile as Wanda, the magical locking glyph placed on the door was certainly no match. Once the doors were unlocked and opened, a sorrowful sight met her eyes.
The room was bare, sterile, with no sign of warmth or kindness. A marble floor, two pillars made of a different type of stone, and a man kneeling between them, slumped where he sat, a mess of chains tethering him to the pillars. He was barefoot and shirtless, wearing only a pair of linen pants and a tattered cloak, the hood of which was draped over his head. His wrists were shackled, connected to chains that were rooted in the stone pillars on either side of him. Those shackles were then also chained to a third shackle around his neck. Small glowing glyphs of warding, suppression, and control glowed on each of the shackles.
When Wanda entered the room, Xenos slowly lifted his head, feeling her presence even if he hadn't heard her first. Her magic was significant, he could feel it, but he didn't know who she was. Was she here to hurt him? Probably. Everyone else here was. He shakily rose to his feet and backed away slowly, until the chains pulled taut and he couldn't go any further. Trembling and a bit folded in on himself, Xenos stood there, clearly afraid of Wanda.
He was very lean, probably too thin for a man of his height. And there was an unnatural blackness to his hands and feet, continuing up his arms and likely his legs too if they could've been seen under his pants, until it brightened into a bronze skin tone. Red glowing eyes could be seen peeking from underneath his hood.
Her question, though... was strange. Usually people just came in and started ordering him around, inflicting pain with magic if he did not comply. They didn't usually want to chat with him, or ask his identity. Did she not know who he was? Was she not told? If she didn't know, then why was she here? Maybe she wasn't here to hurt him after all.
Xenos slowly moved to one of the pillars, his left arm being harshly pulled in the direction of the other pillar by the short chain even as his right hand softly touched the pillar before him. He huddled against the stone, partially obscuring himself with it, feeling safer when he wasn't standing entirely out in the open. "Xenos..." he answered her, his voice a raspy whisper from lack of use. "I... am Xenos..."
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tarnishedxknight · 3 days ago
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{out of dalmasca} Argh, I have so much more I want to write but I just ran out of time. I'm still dealing with tooth pain and it's making my anxiety crazy, which is slowing down my writing process. I've got the muse, but not the focus. I'm off to bed now, but as I usually do, I'll try to find extra time over the weekend to come back here and work on more replies, because the muses are really strong. Tomorrow (7/26) I'll be on Luther's blog, but I might have time to come back here. If not, then maybe on Sun (7/27). Goodnight for now! =)
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tarnishedxknight · 3 days ago
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"And if I want you to be in this child's life?"
(( @lightinxthedark from Naza to Noah in the au where Larsa is their son! because Noah/Naza has been living in my head rent free since we've started talking about them and I love the au sdgfjhfds))
@lightinxthedark
Gabranth knew he had to get the speech he had inside him out of his head at some point, and that time had been now. He'd watched as Nazarene's pregnancy advanced, knowing that the child was his own for she'd told him as much. They'd not planned this, and the child's existence posed certain problems and troubles for each of them, but... even so, he'd been there for her in whatever little ways he could, albeit... in secret. He'd assumed that she wanted it that way, for what other way could possible be permitted?
He was beneath her, any way they tried to slice the situation. A Judge Magister would always be beneath a lady of her standing, a princess, really, if only House Solidor had been viewed more as the royalty they had become with regard to titling conventions. A half-blooded Archadian would always be beneath a full-blooded one as well. So naturally, this child... would... You will not be free to be a father to it. And just like that, he felt no better than his own father, leaving the mother to do everything herself, even if in his case it was not his choice or what he wanted.
Things had happened slowly with Naza. Naturally. The way love should. And he did love her, he knew that now. He'd realized that it was more than just passing affection or deep friendship when she'd told him she was with child. At that point, he knew he cared for her beyond anything that was appropriate for him to be feeling, and now that he was going to be a father, he realized he'd have to watch his child grow up without being able to really be there for them. He didn't fault Naza for this, of course. It was simply the nature of their respective stations that... that he... was going to have to accept that he couldn't be a real father to his child.
And now that he saw her there, holding the newborn she'd just introduced him to, a boy named Larsa... it was all so real to him now. He was a father, and this was his son, and there was nothing he could do for him. Nothing that would be allowed. So he'd chosen now to make his little speech, one that had been brewing in his mind ever since he found out she was pregnant. He solemnly spoke of duty to Archadia and respect for her, as well as his acute understanding of... his place... with the air of a surrendering soldier. Gabranth understood, he said, that he could not be in his child's life beyond the level any Judge Magister might be in any young Solidor's life. He was letting Naza know that he would not contend with her on this matter, and that he wished both her and their her child good health and happiness.
Oh, it hurt to say all these things. Not because he didn't respect her or want to make this easier on her by behaving as a good little soldier should, but because it went against every fiber of his being to essentially relinquish his rights as a parent. But that was just it. In this case, he had no rights to his own child. Larsa was a Solidor, not a Gabranth. That was the way it had to be.
He could barely look at the boy, because looking at him made Gabranth want to hold him, to love him, to be proud of him... and the yearning for that hurt worst than anything else in his life ever had. With the same respectful yet tempered air he'd vowed not to become a problem for Naza in this matter, Gabranth politely took his leave and turned to exit, lifting his helm to replace it. But before it was resting upon his head, he heard her speak again, and-
He froze. Had she said what he thought she had? His helm lowered back down in his gauntleted hands, and he slowly turned to look at her. His expression was full of uncharacteristic vulnerability and hope as he swallowed hard. "You would allow that, my lady?" was his simple response, though that did not really answer her question. It was a moment longer, a moment spent looking across the room at their child in her arms, before he ventured to answer it directly. "I would be eternally grateful to you... if you did want that."
It was clear from his tone that this was something he deeply wanted, to be in his son's life. Even if it had to be clandestine, he would take what he was given and be so grateful for it. He was not given to outward vulnerability, but with Naza... he had been, at least when they were alone. So he pushed himself to be transparent with her now, so that she understood how much he wanted this with her... "I love you both," he whispered, pressing his lips together at the end of it to stop the slight tremble in them.
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tarnishedxknight · 3 days ago
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Once again, Tony went back to tinkering as the boy seemed to be either thinking things over or... simply lost in his own world. He had nowhere in particular to be at the moment and plenty of work to do, so if Larsa just wanted to hang out, that was fine with him.
Shadow had taken to purring rather loudly, content to sit and listen to the humes talk. He liked it, sometimes. It reminded him that he was not alone, and that food and other comforts were likely not far behind, for where there were humes, there were creature comforts. He was a creature, after all.
When Larsa called upon his own magic, Tony flipped up the headset that had been over his eyes and smile. "Hey! That's pretty neat!" he said, pointing to it. Listening to Larsa's explanation of how it felt to wield whatever power it was that was now hovering over his hand, Tony nodded. "Sounds pretty similar, yeah. Maybe magic and technology-based energy sources aren't so different after all, huh?"
Tony noticed the melancholy way the boy seemed to be staring at the magic in his hand, and he studied it for a moment. "You know... a couple others from your time have started writing in journals. About their lives, their world, things they lived through... all sorts of things. That's what they're told in therapy sessions to do, and I guess a couple of 'em thought it was a good idea. Maybe that could help you too? Get things down on paper so they feel a little less... lost forever?"
Then again, sometimes what was suggested in therapy was entirely unrealistic or unhelpful, Tony knew. Nevertheless, he was trying to help the kid without really knowing the specific reasons for his distress, so he was tossing out a few ideas he thought might be of use to Larsa. "You could end up being a big help to us, too, if you do somethin' like that. We know next to nothin' about your time period. I'm sure there are plenty of museums and historical societies that'd love to start documenting what it was like, and who better to explain it to them than someone who actually lived it?"
Larsa did not expect to be unfrozen at all, let alone in the future. When he had snuck upon Gabranth's ship set for Pharos he did it to ensure the peace would be possible. The last thing he remembered was running towards fallen Gabranth and then... Light. (Marvel AU) - tarnishedxjudgement
@tarnishedxjudgement
Noah didn't have the same abilities and resources in this time period with which to inform himself of anything and everything that was going on around him. He was in the dark, most of the time, unless directly informed of things, a condition he hated. Being at the mercy of others he neither knew nor trusted for information was not a position he usually found himself in.
It was the reason he hadn't known about Drace being found after him until she was brought one day to the training compound. Inexplicably, after executing her in his own timeline, here she was again, seemingly from another. The entire experience was wholly jarring, but not nearly as jarring as losing his only son.
So often had Noah thought of Larsa in the months following his revival in this strange time. Thoughts invaded his peace, his sleep, his ability to function, until he found himself so erratic and unhinged that he did not recognize himself anymore. Even Drace found it difficult to comfort him, and she had always been a master of that feat. There was no closure to be had, no second chances, no going back... and that knowledge was eating Noah alive from the inside out.
But once again, information had been kept from him, and yet another arrival from Ivalice to the Avengers compound was neither expected nor necessarily wanted. Would it be another Dalmascan? Gods forbid a Rozarrian. And the way the people of this time seemed to think that all Ivalicians got along and would be happy to see each other was beyond irritating to him. Nevertheless, when he was specifically summoned to greet this newcomer, Noah begrudgingly left his quarters to do so.
What he saw... stopped him dead in his tracks. Within seconds, his expression betrayed him, and within a few more, he was on his knees, his legs giving way in disbelief of the sight that lay before him. It was little Lord Larsa, looking just as he did when last Noah laid eyes on him, perfect as can be.
He knew he should say something, but words betrayed him as well as his own legs had. Instead, he merely stared, the absence of his helm serving to display to the boy all the shock, confusion, and relief at seeing him standing there. Finally, he forced out the only two words he felt he could say without falling apart.
"My lord..."
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tarnishedxknight · 3 days ago
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Eswynn giggled sweetly, out of pure joy at their playful back and forth. Gylfie always brought joy out of her somehow, even with her living in an enemy Empire and being married to one of the most hated men in all of Ivalice. No matter how bad, dire, scary, or hopeless her situation seemed, it all got so much better simply for Gylfie's presence. She was her one bright light in a whole lot of darkness, that was for certain.
"Oh, I know you do. And I am so blessed to hear them each and every day," Wynna said, even as her mind urged her to reel in the affectionate talk. It was so difficult, though, for that's where her thoughts always went whenever Gylfie was in the room... affection. That she felt things she really ought not to for the young Judge was more than apparent to her each time she ran at the mouth without thinking in her presence. Unmanageable. Yes, Gylfie was most definitely correct in her assessment.
Sometimes she dreamed about her beautiful protector whisking her away from all this. Sometimes it was more than just a dream. It was a coping mechanism, one she actively indulged in on long, lonely nights when she could not sleep. She imagined the most wonderful of scenarios that were too good to be true, because... well, they were. There was likely no happy ending for her, no grand rescue, but... whenever Gylfie was near, she could almost believe there could be.
She smiled at Gylfie's words, that smile perhaps a bit more serious and pensive than playful, as it had been a moment ago. "Thank you. And in return, I shall be sure to make your days as interesting as I possibly can, since you are so kind to permit me my... unmanageability," she said softly. "Come and sit with me? Can you talk for a while? I... I do so enjoy our conversations," she said with a shyness that shouldn't have been there, but... she was afraid that even just that question alone would already be seen as massively inappropriate.
@tarnishedxknight - continued from here
"Aye, you are." Gylfie's tone was far from frustrated. There was a warmth to her voice, a humorous edge, and the playful glint in her eye made it all the more clear she was not trying to be mean. It was a compliment, and to hear Eswynn accept it as such only served to draw a smile from her. "As you should, my Lady. I speak nothing but praise for you, you know."
Oh, gods above, how she ached to kiss her. She'd never breathe a word aloud, but Gylfie's thoughts of Eswynn were... far from what they ought to be, and it made her feel guilty. She knew better, she did, but whatever it was that they had, she... wanted to keep it. She wanted it to be something... more.
And more was something neither of them could have.
It mattered not how much she... How she felt about it. It mattered not how much she wanted to steal her away from the palace and from Vayne, even if only to allow Eswynn the peace to always be herself, rather than folding herself small to appease others who didn't deserve her. Not that Gylfie felt she deserved her - far from it, really - but she hated how her Lady was forced to stifle her heart and her energy. What Eswynn deserved... was the world, and it pained Gylfie to know she was given invisible chains instead.
But her thoughts were distracted as Eswynn bit her bottom lip and still smiled, and Gylfie's expression softened. "For you? Anything, my dear Wynna," she said softly in return. "I will gladly permit you to remain unmanageable. After all, it makes my day rather interesting." I am honored you can be yourself with me, went unspoken.
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tarnishedxknight · 3 days ago
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"I cannot imagine why," Noah said, though he couldn't help but smile at least a little at the thought of Leah's friends and co-workers liking him that much. "In my own time... I was not so well liked as all that," he reminded her. "But if they truly wish my company, I could be persuaded to pay them a visit. Just as long as they understand that I am really there to see you." Noah did not have a wandering eye at all. When he was with someone, he respected them and didn't look elsewhere. And flirting definitely was not his thing. Amoretta had ruined that for him long ago.
Noah resisted at first as Leah began tugging at his clothes, but in all honesty, he really didn't put up that much of a fight. He was tired, sad, but thankfully not lonely anymore now that he had his love with him. She really was an amazing woman who had taken such good care of him. One he didn't deserve, he felt. Though, he'd felt the same way with Drace, and were she still alive to say it now, Noah was sure she'd say he'd been right. Nevertheless, he gave into Leah and let her get his clothes off, reluctantly putting on the dry pajamas she handed to him.
He then sat on the bed as she guided him to - gods, she was so much like Drace in that regard, pushing him to let her comfort him when he was being hard on himself - and let her make herself comfortable on his lap. Noah's arms instinctively moved to hold her around her waist as she did so. After laying his face against her arm for a short while, taking in the scent of her, Noah did as she asked and started to give her a window into what he was thinking.
"I told you that I had a son... in my own time. He's lost now, obviously. Lost to time. I'd a lover, too, though she was lost before I was brought here. Her loss... was my own fault. Both of them, lost, though, for one reason or another. And then there is-... was my brother. I hated him." He paused, the conflict written on his face as he thought. "I thought I hated him. Until he, too, was gone and now it is too late to make amends. A man more my father than my own blood, my Emperor, a man I served for half my life... gone, too, because I could not prevent his murder." Curiously he did not mention the losses of his own biological parents in this list. They meant that little to him.
"Whether through my own failings or by this... cruel... prank of the gods that has dislodged me from my own time period... everyone I loved from my world... is gone." He gave her a squeeze in his arms, as if still checking to make sure she was there, his gaze distant and sad. "And all day today I sat here pondering where or not it was about to happen again... with you." He smiled, then, but it was cynical and directed at himself. "But I was foolish, because you are fine and I have made a fool of myself, showing up at your place of work and behaving like a clingy child. And it occurred to me... that I may very well lose you, but not to any prank of the gods. No, I will lose you because I push you away with my smothering possessiveness and paranoia. I am sorry, Leah, for my actions today. I must let you live your life, no matter how fearful I am."
Have you been waiting long? (Leah to Noah)
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Sometimes it was difficult for Noah to sit in Leah's apartment and wait for her to return home from work. There wasn't much for him to do there, and going from having such a hectic military schedule to having nothing whatsoever to do all day long was taking its toll on him. At the same time, he didn't want to bother her or keep her tied up with him while she had work to do. At times like these, he often made his way back to the diner and simply waited outside it. That in itself helped him to feel better, knowing she was nearby.
On this particular day, however, Noah had stood outside for a very long time after Leah was kept late. To add insult to injury, it had begun to rain after a while, and Noah was drenched, left to pace slowly outside the diner, careful not to scare away any customers. By the time Leah emerged, he looked like a lost, soaked puppy, sad face and all.
He nodded at her question, the rainwater dripping from his hair and chin. "I missed you," he said by way of his only explanation for his behavior, hoping that his loneliness and desire to be with her wouldn't scare her away from him.
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tarnishedxknight · 3 days ago
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"But I am not any of those things, Wanda. Strong, yes, but neither good nor brave. I simply do what I must," Noah insisted. His eyes lowered for a moment, though, as she asked if he thought she was shallow. "No, certainly not. I only think that perhaps the idea of me that you've cultivated in your mind might not be... who I truly am, when all masks are removed."
Was that was he was really talking about doing right now? Removing masks? All masks? It wasn't like him to want to do that, though in his own time it had been more like... removing helms instead of masks. But those proverbial masks people wear to hide who they really are inside were no less relevant here in this time period, especially for someone as guarded as he was.
With Wanda, though... that was what he found himself wanting, to be able to remove the last of his masks with her. They were already so close, and guarding certain aspects of himself didn't feel right anymore. As scary as it was to show her all of himself, he felt he was ready to do so. If only he could count on not frightening her away by doing so...
"I was the head of the Empire's Bureau of Intelligence and Espionage. I moved about among all sorts of people and interacted with whomever I wished to. I traveled often, by air, land, and sea, though mostly by air. And if I'd take a liking to you, then I would have spoken to you regardless of whether or not our classes or nationalities conflicted. I did not have many things, and even after I achieved the rank of Judge Magister, my peers continued to ridicule me for being only a half-blooded Archadian. Rank and title are not everything, you see, and a man's past has a way of following him forever."
He stared into her eyes as she spoke, wondering what she meant. There was nothing about her that was difficult to love, as he saw it. "I find you extremely easy to love," he said. His walls were coming down, with each new assertion that she still wanted to be with him, no matter what was lurking below the surface. Slowly, he backed her against a nearby wall, his hands gently drawing her hair back over her shoulders as he looked her up and down. "And if I lost control? Will you rein me in? Weather the storm? Or flee?" he asked. His lips lowered to hers, but he only grazed them before he moved down to her neck, leaving a kiss or two there instead. "Would you fear that the beast inside me would hurt you? Because that is what I fear..."
He couldn't help the way he pressed against her now, or the way he was nuzzling her neck as his hands began to rub her shoulders...
[ I want to be ] That bit of fuel to your fire, stoke your desire. (Noah)
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"And you are not in the least bit afraid of what you might experience if you do? What you might... uncover... in me?" Noah asked. Wanda already did stoke his desire, but they'd only known each other for a few months. Surely when she got to know him better, when she saw who he really was at his core and what he was like when he let go, she would back away. Although, in just that short amount of time, Wanda already knew a lot about him. She'd somehow gotten him comfortable enough to discuss many sensitive topics with her and to show her his vulnerable side. But surely fire, desire, passion... those things would be too much for her. Wouldn't they?
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tarnishedxknight · 3 days ago
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How would Caelen and/or Wynna react to Gylfie's mother in their Balfonheim AU?
{out of dalmasca} Tagging @disillusionedjudge because relevant. I did read Midge's reply to a related ask, and I found myself wondering about Wynna's and Caelen's reactions too. I think their reactions would each remain the same regardless of whether they were each in a ship with Gylfie or it was their poly ship, but they would have very different reactions from each other. Alright, let's get down to it! =) Below the cut as always because I ramble a lot, haha.
Caelen has it a little bit easier than Wynna because Gylfie's homophobic mother would view a relationship between him and Gylfie as a straight one, at least in terms of how she thinks about it. She's not my character, but I'm just going off of what I got from reading Midge's reply to her ask. Even though Caelen and Gylfie are both bisexual, I think Alsga would probably choose to just see a heterosexual relationship or would just assume one without any other information given to her, and that'd make her happy. Plus Myra would be their biological kid and her grandkid, so I imagine that'd make her happy too.
Given that, it'd be easy for Caelen to feel accepted at least on the surface, but... underneath he'd know that it really is only appearances. Still, whether he is in a relationship with just Gylfie or whether Wynna is there too, he would try for Gylfie's sake to be polite, cordial, helpful, pleasant, and tolerant of Alsga. Now I know Midge said Gylfie absolutely wouldn't want to repair her relationship with her mother and wouldn't want her near her family, however that family happens to be constructed, but... hypothetically speaking if she were to allow it, Caelen would be a nice to Alsga as possible because that's his mother-in-law, heh. He'd have respect for her the same as he'd hope Gylfie would have respect for his own mother, but more so because he cares about Gylfie and doesn't want to cause problems for her than of a real desire to have a working relationship with Alsga.
Now... poor Wynna... has it rough, heh. Right from the start, whether it's just her and Gylfie or it's their poly ship, she's gonna feel like the rejected, evil, disgusting outcast (I'm expressing what I think Alsga would say btw, please don't think I think that way at all). Midge said Alsga would think Gylfie and Wynna being together would be totally wrong and would be ashamed of it, so she wouldn't want to know Wynna at all. And I imagine that Rasler (Wynna's son), who is not related to Gylfie, would be rejected by her too, though I honestly don't remember if that was the case. Maybe Midge said she would accept all the kids, just not Wynna, I don't remember. But... given all of this, Wynna would feel very anxious around Alsga if Gylfie ever did try to bring her around. She'd feel unwanted and awkward and so she might avoid Alsga as much as possible to make those feelings go away.
Also... while both Caelen's and Wynna's families were intolerant of homosexual relationships, Caelen did have some support in Basch and Ashelia and some other assorted OCs if they're thrown into the mix. And Munoh as well. Wynna... had no one. She might've had Rasler's (her brother) support, but she was too afraid to tell him she was bisexual, for fear that he'd be just like their father and tell her it was wrong and she should be ashamed of herself. So she has a lot worse trauma and a lot more unresolved trauma with regard to her sexuality than Caelen does. Where Caelen can let hurtful comments roll off him even if they do bother him, Wynna is hurt a lot more personally.
She can't really see it from the angle of... some people are just intolerant, hateful, and/or mean. Instead, she would immediately internalize it into... I'm a terrible person for being the way I am. Of course she doesn't really think that, especially since she met and fell in love with Gylfie, but those voices have been in her head since childhood, those of her father and other people around her telling her that unless she is a certain way, she's of no value, and her father especially telling her that she's a disgrace to the family for kissing a girl. So... Alsga's reaction to her would dredge up those traumas that she had either buried or that had just barely begun to heal in Gylfie and Caelen's care, and she'd begin to fold in on herself a lot.
Since she doesn't want to feel terrible and she doesn't want to cause problems for Gylfie with her mother, Wynna would make herself scarce. She's stay out more, or stick to her room, and be very quiet, kindof trying to disappear. There would be a lot of silent crying alone and questioning herself if she's doing Gylfie or the whole family more harm than good by even being there. Poor girl would spiral a bit, ngl. But I know Gylfie would swoop in to help her and she would stand up for her, and Caelen would do the same.
Caelen is... kind, gentle, pacifistic, and very empathetic, but mess with someone he loves and he will give you a piece of his mind. Make no mistake, heh. Do not mistake his softness for weakness or for being a pushover. He is really unafraid to stand up for his family and loved ones. So Wynna would have help from them, and honestly, Caelen would say something to Alsga, even if he doesn't want to cause problems for Gylfie. Something to teh effect of... "If you want to be permitted inside this house and to visit us and the children, then you will respect every member of this family, including Wynna."
That's all I can think of right now, but I think that about covers it! =)
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tarnishedxknight · 3 days ago
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tarnishedxknight · 4 days ago
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{out of dalmasca} Alright, I've gotta get to bed now, I'm nodding off at my keyboard, haha. I'll be back on Fri night (7/25) to write some more here. Goodnight for now! =)
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tarnishedxknight · 4 days ago
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Noah didn't know what a lovely, kind, and strong woman like Wanda could possibly see in him. He was rough, unrefined, cruel, violent, and emotionally all over the place. Either cold or volatile, and there was hardly any predicting it, especially in this time. This era had none of the hallmarks of the society he knew, or any of the cues that might have kept his emotions in line in certain situations. As a result, he was even edgier, even more unpredictable and raw here than he was in Archadia. Why would any woman want that?
"You did," he insisted. "With each of your compliments to me on how good I am, how strong, how brave. I am none of those things. Just a survivor. Someone who has clawed his way through life in whatever way was necessary, whether it was right, good, just, holy, or pretty... or not. Mostly... not. You say it would not matter to you if I were a beast, but I say that I am one, and that you have yet to see it. I think once you do, you will think very differently of me."
Even so, Noah allowed her to lay her hand on his cheek, something no one else in this time period was permitted to do. And still, she doubled down, saying that she cared for him, and even going so far as to say that seeing Judge Magister Gabranth in his native world would not have changed her opinion of him. To hear her say she would have been below him stirred something in him akin to protectiveness. "I associated with whomever I pleased," he insisted, "and I would not have considered you beneath me. I was not born high nobility, I earned it." And he was proud of that, or he had been, before it became utterly meaningless in this time period.
He lifted his hand to her chin, tipping it up with his thumb and forefinger gently pinching her chin. "Wanda..." he whispered darkly, "...it is not easy to love me, or to be loved by me," he warned, giving her one more chance to back out of all this. He was so sure she was just naive, that she thought more of him than was actually there, or that she didn't believe how serious he was.
[ I want to be ] That bit of fuel to your fire, stoke your desire. (Noah)
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"And you are not in the least bit afraid of what you might experience if you do? What you might... uncover... in me?" Noah asked. Wanda already did stoke his desire, but they'd only known each other for a few months. Surely when she got to know him better, when she saw who he really was at his core and what he was like when he let go, she would back away. Although, in just that short amount of time, Wanda already knew a lot about him. She'd somehow gotten him comfortable enough to discuss many sensitive topics with her and to show her his vulnerable side. But surely fire, desire, passion... those things would be too much for her. Wouldn't they?
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tarnishedxknight · 4 days ago
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Oh, the second she started running her fingers through his hair, Basch knew he was done for. She seemed to like it so very much that he'd given her permission to handle it whenever she liked, and he didn't regret that. But at times like this, it only served to... exacerbate his condition. Of course, there was little wrong with him getting a bit turned on by the woman he was courting, but in his time, and given his very proper manners, it could be seen as something lewd or even vulgar.
"Aye, really," Basch said bashfully, unable to stop his shy grin. "I fear 'tis already occurring..." Wanda's smile was reassuring, though, for at least she was not offended by it. "And flustering me you are, my love. But outright lewdness would ne'er have been acceptable in my own time. Though, I cannot deny the affect you have on me sometimes," he said, his eyes closing as she kissed him. "Perhaps... I could seek an appointment for later? To.. avail myself of my lady's affections, and to give of my own to her?"
And nothing else is quite the same as how I feel when I'm at your side. (For Basch)
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"Do you mean that, my love?" Basch asked innocently with hope in his tone. Despite how smoothly and wonderfully their relationship had blossomed thus far, there were moments when Basch still could scarcely believe he had such an amazing woman in his life. Sometimes he worried that maybe Wanda was not as into him as he was into her. Hearing her say things like that, though, got his hopes way up. "I must admit that the way I feel at your side is very special as well. You make me feel as no other in my life has. I surrender to you, completely," he said with no small amount of deep, knightly love and devotion.
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