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[tattedqueencobra]

The wait is upon us.

It's that burning feeling that you feel resonate deep in your throat. Sometimes it's from the first drag of your first cigarette. Or the liquid gold sliding down as you take a gulp of hard liquor. Or the excitement you feel when you can't contain yourself at a concert. However the hardest and most potent of the burning sensation is when you receive news that something terrible is among you. You fight to hold back the venomous tears that lurk right under your eye ducts. You swallow and swallow and take don water or food or anything to get that feeling to go away and no matter what it will always remain. Numbing you to the point where you become fatigued. Giving into the onslaught of tears that cease to give up. You have been harboring the storm. Keeping in at bay, but this time the storm has turned into a massive typhoon. The news you don't want to hear is upon you. You know what it is, but you have to wait, and let me tell you. Waiting is the hard part. You keep yourself busy. Watching cute dog videos or playing with your pets. Yet it sneaks up on you at random forcing a few drops out. You swallow again to choke back the feeling. The wait is upon us.

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I would like to go here one day

Black Ghost sculpture in Lithuania

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The Principles Museum.

FAITH.

A man is seen wading into a dark cave, armed with nothing more than a small cross as the water churns around him.

I glanced over at the next exhibit.

INTEGRITY.

A young girl clad in little more than rag and skin over jutting bones hands over a dropped coin to a fat merchant.

My eyes continued on.

FORGIVENESS.

A teenage girl looks into a prisoner’s eyes, hands holding on to a small child resembling the both of them. The guard behind him mouths “Rapist bastard”.

The exhibits only seem to get more grotesque.

ACCEPTANCE.

An elderly man sits upon the porch, watching the vultures circle the clouds. Some have already descended upon the house.

I closed my eyes, catching a moment.

LOVE.

A beggar mother carves bits of her own flesh to feed her starving son.

I knelt down, rubbing my temples, which had started to throb. The exhibits were not just an artist’s illustrations - it was a perverse salutation that recognized the dark sides of virtue and principles. There was so much wrongness in this world, so much suffering.

Carefully, I poised my neck around the noose and kicked away the chair.

UNDERSTANDING.

A man hangs from a noose while looking out at the dark truths of the world.

CURIOSITY.

A person resembling you sits facing a screen of light - maybe a computer? a phone? - while another figure watches from behind their back.

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Don't be afraid to walk alone. There is a greater destination at the if the path you walk along.

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Who else is a military spouse and has gone through a deployment? This is my first, and it's extremely hard. Not for the weakest of souls.

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Positivity today. Knowing I have a loving and devoted husband. Proudly serving in the military. I can't wait till he comes home safe and sound!