tawnywrites - Tumblr blog

[tawnywrites]

alka-pop

[tawnywrites]

yes if i met dr house he would call me a slur maybe. counterpoint is that a) i would find out what's wrong w me (beyond my current diagnoses of "well. it's not these things so. beats me!") and b) i would call him a slur right back. i dont tend to feel any particular urge to say slurs. but i would call him a faggot. i would. derogatorily? affectionately? depends on if he's diagnosed me yet. either way. he's faggot. to me.

[tawnywrites]

as someone with a bachelor’s degree in english, i am inexpressibly tired of people telling me to get highly specific jobs that often require highly specific degrees. “just go write for a magazine!” you need a journalism degree for that. “just teach!” you need a teaching certificate, and also fuck you. “just go work at a tutoring place!” tutoring children with learning disabilities, which make up the majority of the clientele at those places, requires not only a teaching certificate but a specialized master’s degree. “just go work at a library!” you need a master’s degree in library science to be a librarian. it is actually a highly skilled and extremely competitive field. you don’t just “go work at a library,” you train for years in the vain hope that you will get one of handful of available jobs. “just go work at a library.” the nerve. the unmitigated gall. “just go work at a library.” ugh.

[tawnywrites]

[tawnywrites]

its official: tumblr is selling our data to Midjourney

we'd been hearing rumors about this for a bit but now its open and out there. some details from this article

it goes without saying, but if @staff goes through with this its going to be an utter shitshow and im all but certain the website will not survive it.

[tawnywrites]

I just watched Avatar for the first time all the way through, and yeah, it’s great, but the one thing that surprised me was how different Katara was compared to the fandom interpretation I’d seen and internalized before watching.

Like, before you watch Avatar, you’ve seen all these memes about Katara and her mom, and based on those memes, you assume it’s one of those lines you have to get used to hearing at least once every episode. But then you watch the show and realize that she only talks about her mom maybe five or six times per season and you also realize she only brings her up when she’s trying to comfort someone or empathize with them because that’s how she processes her grief and that’s one way she connects with people.

Or you hear the infamous line, “then you didn’t love [our mother] the way I did” and you prepare yourself for one of the worst character assassinations ever only to see the scene after nearly three seasons worth of context and realize she was kinda right. She’s been the mother, the nurturer, the comforter. She’s been patient, gentle, and accommodating where everyone else has gotten to be insensible and reckless and childish, and the one moment where she allows herself to feel her grief, suddenly she’s this evil bitch and not, y’know, a 14 year old girl whose been thrusted into adulthood in a way no other character has. A 14 year old girl who should be allowed immaturity and raw emotion and anger instead of the patience and grace she’s been forced to extend to every character without even the smallest amount of gratitude or even consideration in return.

Or you see all of the clips where Katara puts Aang in the “friendzone” and you expect to have this wishy washy back and forth where Aang is putting his feelings out there only to have Katara neither commit nor express any clear reciprocation or rejection. Then you watch and realize that, as cute as the ship is initially, that there’s never a point where Aang returns any comfort or grace to Katara despite her always doing this for him to the point of coddling. That for as much as Aang says he loves her, he never seems to outgrow his perception of her so he can recognize her as someone who feels grief, anger, and pain as much as she expresses love, kindness, and maturity. And instead of having moments where he learns to see her beyond her strength or compassion, you’re instead given moments where Aang forces his feelings onto her, both romantic and non-romantic, and Katara is expected to just…shoulder those feelings the way she shoulders everyone else’s.

Katara is the most misunderstood character in the show. As much as people recognize the complexities of Zuko, Sokka, and Azula, they struggle to do the same for Katara because they see her struggles as somehow lesser, and therefore, less deserving of sympathy. They can handle her so long as she’s being endlessly patient and loving and kind, but the moment her endless love, patience, and kindness runs out, she’s suddenly this annoying bitch who can’t shut up about her mother or reciprocate Aang’s feelings. But Katara’s trauma does matter as much as anyone else’s. No, she wasn’t banished from her kingdom. No, she didn’t lose her entire community, and no, she isn’t the only one who lost her mother. But the difference between her and everyone else whose experienced loss because of the Fire Nation is that she’s never given time to process her trauma. Aang gets to lean on Katara constantly. Toph gets to express her feelings to Katara, and yeah, Sokka also lost their mother, but unlike Katara, he isn’t put in the position of being a substitute for everyone’s parent. He even admits that he sees his sister as a mother. The only characters who ever comfort Katara or allow her to vent is Zuko and her father and that’s, like, three scenes in a show where the other characters are consistently given opportunities to seek out Katara for unconditional support.

The fandom interpretation of Katara has been so bastardized that even those who haven’t watched the show know her for this fanon version and not for who she is. She’s such an interesting character beyond her fandom limitations, though. She’s brave, hot-headed, and hopeful as well as gentle and caring. She wishes to learn waterbending, not only because she wants to fight in the war, but because she wants to continue her culture’s practices because, and people often forget this, she also lost an entire subculture within her already fractured tribe. And she wants to defeat the Fire Nation both because of her deep love and empathy for other people, but also because she wants to avenge her mother. But because some of the fans have reduced Katara to a bitch who constantly whines about her mother and friendzones Aang, you wouldn’t know any of this, and it sucks because she’s the only character whose been dumbed down to such an extent.

[tawnywrites]

This is going to be a sort of comparison between Bryke and Tappei Nagatsuki, the author of Re:Zero, and their handling of ships in their respective series.

Bryke is infamous for mocking Zutara and their fans and lifted Kata/ang up as the ultimate ship. We've all seen where that ended up.

Now, for Tappei Nagatsuki

I'm just going to focus on one particular scene in the series.

In Re:Zero, Subaru meets Emelia and pretty much falls in love with her immediately.

He also becomes friends with Rem, who falls in love with Subaru after going through several challenges together.

From an article:

"...The author is fond of twists and has admitted that Rem has grown beyond the scope he had planned for her in the story. He intended for Rem to be a staple of the mansion arc that he would then leave there or kill off.

He then thought of the great and iconic “Let’s start from Zero!” scene but couldn’t get Emilia to give it because he thought it was too soon for her to love Subaru. So he decided to have Rem say it instead. He didn’t expect it to have such a massive reaction and for the fans to love Rem and the scene so much. So he could no longer just kill her off and leave that thread line without a conclusive and epic finale. And from there Rem has interwoven herself more and more in the story up to this time’s Arc 6."

It was at this scene (and from previous episodes before this scene happened) that made Rem such an amazing character and absolutely made me love the idea of Subaru and Rem being together. I admit that while Subaru and Emilia are cute together, I wouldn't mind if they were endgame. But Subaru and Rem are definitely my favorite.

And guess what?

"Re:Zero IF are Web Novel chapters posted on Shōsetsuka ni Narō each April Fools at 01:00 Japanese time. To celebrate Natsuki Subaru's birthday, the author writes a story that deviates from the original Web Novel. They are around four times longer than normal Web Novel chapters and in these chapters, it is shown what would have happened if Natsuki Subaru did something contrary to what he actually did. Each of the What IF stories resemble one of the seven deadly sins."

Instead of mocking the fans, he went and created even more content and explores his own story.

It makes me wish Bryke had been willing to do that, or at least not mock fans and not meddle with the writers. There's just that disappointing aspect of what it became, and knowing what could have been, if the creators had allowed it.

[tawnywrites]

[tawnywrites]

Today I learned about the following Japanese words

晴れ女 (はれおんな), a woman who causes the weather to become sunny when she goes out

晴れ男 (はれおとこ), a man who causes the weather to become sunny when he goes out

雨女 (あめおんな), a woman whose presence causes rain

雨男 (あめおとこ), a man whose presence causes rain

I decided to create a fifth one:

天気の友 (てんきのとも), your nonbinary friend who is always prepared for whatever weather they might face. Rain coat, mittens, zip-off pants, you name it. They're prepared.

For illustrative purposes:

[tawnywrites]

— Jay Vespertine; not from a book but from an actual conversation.

[tawnywrites]

lydia davis

[tawnywrites]

[tawnywrites]

To The Person In The Newspaper - Jordan Bolton

[tawnywrites]

Some of my favorite words and phrases to describe a character in pain

coiling (up in a ball, in on themselves, against something, etc)

panting (there’s a slew of adjectives you can put after this, my favorites are shakily, weakly, etc)

keeling over (synonyms are words like collapsing, which is equally as good but overused in media)

trembling/shivering (additional adjectives could be violently, uncontrollably, etc)

sobbing (weeping is a synonym but i’ve never liked that word. also love using sob by itself, as a noun, like “he let out a quiet sob”)

whimpering (love hitting the wips with this word when a character is weak, especially when the pain is subsiding. also love using it for nightmares/attacks and things like that)

clinging (to someone or something, maybe even to themselves or their own clothes)

writhing/thrashing (maybe someone’s holding them down, or maybe they’re in bed alone)

crying (not actual tears. cry as in a shrill, sudden shout)

dazed (usually after the pain has subsided, or when adrenaline is still flowing)

wincing (probably overused but i love this word. synonym could be grimacing)

doubling-over (kinda close to keeling over but they don’t actually hit the ground, just kinda fold in on themselves)

heaving (i like to use it for describing the way someone’s breathing, ex. “heaving breaths” but can also be used for the nasty stuff like dry heaving or vomiting)

gasping/sucking/drawing in a breath (or any other words and phrases that mean a sharp intake of breath, that shite is gold)

murmuring/muttering/whispering (or other quiet forms of speaking after enduring intense pain)

hiccuping/spluttering/sniffling (words that generally imply crying without saying crying. the word crying is used so much it kinda loses its appeal, that’s why i like to mix other words like these in)

stuttering (or other general terms that show an impaired ability to speak — when someone’s in intense pain, it gets hard to talk)

staggering/stumbling (there is a difference between pain that makes you not want to stand, and pain that makes it impossible to stand. explore that!)

recoiling/shrinking away (from either the threat or someone trying to help)

pleading/begging (again, to the threat, someone trying to help, or just begging the pain to stop)

Feel free to add your favorites or most used in the comments/reblogs!

[tawnywrites]

I started playing “Love and Deepspace” and realized fictional men can make you feel special like no real man ever can.

[tawnywrites]

➡️ Content warnings on fiction are a courtesy. 

➡️ Not every medium of fiction and storytelling has or is expected to have content warnings or extensive tagging.

➡️ Print novels do not traditionally warn for content in any way.

➡️ Until AO3 came along, fanfiction did not traditionally warn for content in any significant way.

➡️ An author is only obligated to warn for content to the degree mandated by the format they publish their fiction on.

➡️ Content warnings beyond the minimum are a courtesy, not an obligation.

➡️ 'Creator chose not to warn' is a valid tag that authors are allowed to use on AO3. It means there could be anything in there and you have accepted the risk. 'May contain peanuts!'

➡️ Writers are allowed to use 'Creator chose not to warn' for any reason, including to maintain surprise and avoid spoilers.

➡️ 'Creator chose not to warn' is not the same thing as 'no archive warnings apply'.

➡️ It is your responsibility to protect yourself and close a book, or hit the back button if you find something in fiction that you're reading that upsets you.

➡️ You are responsible for protecting yourself from fiction that causes you discomfort.

[tawnywrites]

Zayne x reader x Rafayel? Love triangle, jealousy.....

I wish you could be mine

notes: i hope you like it, and i’m sorry for the wait :) i didn’t know for sure which one should be the jealous one so i made them both jealous.

contains: zayne x reader x rafayel, love triangle, jealousy, sfw.

Zayne has never considered himself a jealous person. He believed that jealousy is something temporary, which makes you waste time worrying, while you could solve that problem.

That is until, for the first time in his life, Zayne became jealous.

It all started with a conversation, you telling Zayne about the time you spent at Rafayel's house while he was painting. About his fabulous paintings and about the talent the man had.

Talent? Didn't he have talent? He was very talented with his hands, doing many difficult operations. Maybe it wasn't enough...

Jealousy is born from insecurities. Hearing about the time you spent with the other man in your life, Zayne wondered if he gave you too little time to make you fall in love with him. The hours spent at the hospital now seemed too long, and the desire to spend more time with you grew.

‘If I spend time with her, he won't have time to meet her,’ he asked himself.

But that was almost impossible for a renowned surgeon. Operations upon operations, emergencies upon emergencies and many other cases, Zayne was forced to take his mind off the burning desire to be in your presence 24/7.

However, this did not stop him from fighting to win your heart. He invited you to dates more often, he left work faster than usual, and his gestures were sweeter, made with more love.

Late night dinners, candles, compliments. All this made you wonder if you were interpreting the situation correctly or if your mind had gone crazy. You knew Zayne wasn't good with words, his personality being much colder than other people's. However, you liked the warm feeling that dates with him give you.

“We can stop by after work, what do you say? I heard that a new product was added to the menu.” he asked you on the phone, heart beating fast. 

“Yeah, of course. Let me finish here with Rafayel and I’m coming.”

However, after so many attempts, this Rafayel did not disappear from the story. Who was he, so important to you?

Zayne saw him a few times on TV, the man was a well-known and rich artist. He was not so wow. Zayne could recognize, the man was handsome and had money, he was tall with an enviable physique. But he? He also had money, an enviable physique and was tall. And he was attractive, according to many of his colleagues. He was also smart and knew you much better than Rafayel did.

So why not him?

‘So why not me?’ Rafayel asked himself, after hearing your conversation with Zayne.

He was hurt by your words. Now you were with him, why were you talking to someone else? Why were you planning to leave him and go to another one? Rafayel could not explain himself.

"Who was it?" he asked, looking at you, who was sitting on the couch with the phone in your hand.

"Zayne. He asked me out."

"Like a date?"

You didn't give him an answer. That made Rafayel lose his cool. The man was jealous of another man, both fighting for your affection. Is it worth it? 100%

Rafayel saw the doctor several times when he accompanied you for some tests at the hospital. He was tall, handsome and calm. It gave off a cold, robotic vibe.

Did you like this? A heart of ice?

He certainly didn't have it, his personality being the exact opposite of Zayne's, but he didn't feel like he was behind in the race to win your heart. You spent a lot of time with him, giving your opinion on the works he made, many being dedicated to you without knowing it.

Jealousy was a whore. He felt terrible, but if in the end it meant she would be his, he could resist. He promised himself that no matter what, the years spent waiting for the love of his life would not be in vain, so that he will win your love.

Without knowing it, Zayne made the same promise.

But well... When two fight, the third wins, right?