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Life Is A Mirror: Reflections from Bodhgaya

As we enter the sacred month of Vesak, commemorating the Buddha’s birth, enlightenment, and passing, it’s a powerful time to pause and reflect. During a 2019 pilgrimage to the four holy sites in India, Singha Rinpoche offered a series of spontaneous teachings—rich with humor, clarity, and everyday wisdom. In this talk, he reminds us that spiritual practice isn’t about chasing after form or perfection, but about understanding who we really are, making conscious choices, and seeing through illusion. Shared here are his reflections, just as they were offered—simple, direct, and full of heart.  

Because of our past karma, we can’t choose our parents, we can’t choose when we fall sick, we can’t choose when we die. But today, we chose to come here, we chose to come for pilgrimage. A lot of people want to come, but can’t come, because of many reasons. 

Then we reflect — why we are human? Is it only for enjoyment? 

So we made the decision to come, but then what do we see? So much spiritual materialism. We offer flower, incense, light, many things. Offering is good. But if mind is not controlled, then we are chasing after things again. Chasing after form. Just like we chase after branded clothes to look good. Then how do we know we look good? Only when we look into the mirror. 

You want to look good, so you rely on the mirror. Then you go and buy this branded thing, that beautiful thing. Then you wear, and you feel like you achieved something. Then you look into the mirror and feel satisfied. But is it real? 

Merit and Mindfulness 

We come here, we think we accumulate merit. Yes, because it’s our choice. But greater merit comes when we make Buddha’s teaching part of daily life. 

Look around — everyone’s karma is different. Everyone’s life is different. So, we must ask — what is the meaning of our life? Why are we here together? Because we made that decision. If we want to have a good next life, it starts from today. From today, generate bodhicitta. Practice loving-kindness. Forgive others. Forgive ourselves. This is the real practice. 

You made the decision to come here. With this same decision, you can make to become a Buddha. Practice no matter what happens. Don’t say, “I don’t like this, so I don’t practice.” That’s like looking in the mirror and not liking what you see.  Do you change yourself? Or you change the mirror? 

You want to look good, you change. Lose weight, gain weight, build muscle — your choice. Same thing.  

Are You Your Body? 

Some of us are standing under the sun — it’s hot. Some under shade — it’s cool. But are you your skin? Are you your eyes? Your nose? Your ears? 

No. Your mind is not your body. Your body is just a tool. A tool to feel, to see, to hear, to think. The human body allows thought — but it’s not you. 

So, is what you see in the mirror real? No. Mirror is just a reflection. The body is also an illusion. A tool. Mirror is a tool. Body is also a tool. 

You’re not your hearing, not your sight, not your mind. You are beyond that. You are awareness. 

You give your car a name. Give a name, then attachment comes in. First you have a car, then a name, then boom — samsara. Same thing with our body. 

Life is like a resort. You enjoy, but you don’t live there. If you try to bring the resort home, you will end up cleaning, organizing, and become exhausted. By the time the house is ready, you are tired. Can’t enjoy the house. Then what? Life passes by. 

So think — your chase for name, fame, success. Is it worth it? Unless you can see all this is like a rainbow, an illusion. Then you can enjoy. Rainbow — you see, it’s beautiful. But can you catch it? Can you bottle it? No. Just enjoy it. 

But we want to catch the rainbow and bottle it. We think, “Only this shade of pink I can wear.” This is suffering. 

Do everything you can to enjoy life, but don’t make it samsara. See a rainbow, enjoy it. Let the flower grow. Let it be. 

Did Buddha teach us to get a good business to have a good job? Then we think — maybe it’s all a bit ridiculous. So you made a decision to come for pilgrimage. Now, make the  decision to become a Buddha. Not to be perfect, but to start. 

In samsara, there is no perfect solution. In life, we search for solutions. But no solution. So, cherish people. Cherish each other. Don’t try to fix everything. 

Who is unhappy? Not the mountain, not the river. It’s the mind. Only mind. 

Don’t get angry when things don’t go your way. We can’t please everyone. But I tell you one way to please everybody — empower them. Teach them how to make decisions. Their happiness is their responsibility. Don’t rely on the Guru for everything. 

Karma is not bad. Karma means Buddha empowers you. You are not under a god. You are free. Karma means your choice matters. You are a free bird. But fly too far, too tired, then you rest. Otherwise you will fall down and get eaten. Still it is your choice. 

So study Dharma not just to learn big words. Learn how to live. What’s your motivation? 

The phone has many apps. But if there’s no motivation, apps are useless. So we set a motivation — from now, I want to become like a Buddha. Don’t know how to pray?  

You can say, “Bless me to become like you.” 

Watch the full video by clicking here.

Read full article: https://thekchencholing.org/blog/blogs-15/post/life-is-a-mirror-reflections-from-bodhgaya-238

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The Meaning of Vesak: Honouring the Birth, Enlightenment, and Parinirvana of Buddha

Every year, as Vesak approaches, we prepare our hearts and space to reflect on the life of Buddha, whose teachings continue to guide us 2,500 years later. 

Vesak is more than a Buddhist holiday. It is a time to pause, remember, and reconnect with Buddha’s teachings and the guidance he provided for us. 

What is Vesak?

Vesak—also known as Buddha Day—is the most sacred day for Buddhists worldwide and here in Singapore. It commemorates the three most important events in the life of Siddhartha Gautama, who later became enlightened as Shakyamuni Buddha: 

• His birth in Lumbini, 

• His enlightenment in Bodhgaya, 

• And his passing (Parinirvana) in Kushinagar. 

Instead of holding separate events, the Buddhist community celebrates all three milestones on this meaningful day as a time to reflect deeply—not only on the Buddha’s life but also on how we’re living ours. 

Who Was Buddha, Really? His Journey 

Did you know the Buddha was once a prince? More than 2,500 years ago, Siddhartha Gautama was born into a royal family and married by age 15. His name means “the one who achieves his goals.” His parents hoped he would become a great king, but as fate would have it, he became a great spiritual leader instead.  

For the first 29 years, Siddhartha lived in luxury, sheltered from all forms of suffering. But one day, he left the palace and encountered what we now call the Four Sights: an old man, a sick man, a corpse, and a monk. 

These encounters stirred him to ask: Why do we suffer? Is there a way to end it? 

Driven by these questions, he left everything behind to seek the truth. After years of meditation and reflection, he reached enlightenment under the Bodhi tree and became known as the Buddha—the Awakened One. 

He then spent the next 45 years walking across Northeast India, teaching the Dharma—the path to end suffering. His message was simple yet profound: every being has the potential to awaken. 

Even at the end of his life, the Buddha reminded us to walk the path with mindfulness, compassion, and wisdom, and to rely on the Dharma as our guiding light. 

The Three Traditions of Buddhism 

As Buddhism spread across different regions, it naturally evolved into three main traditions. While they may look different on the outside, they all share the same heart: the teachings of the Buddha, aimed at awakening and compassion. 

1. Theravāda Buddhism 

Theravāda is the oldest tradition, practised mainly in Thailand, Sri Lanka, Cambodia, Laos and Myanmar. It’s often seen as the most closely aligned with the original teachings of the Buddha. 

This tradition focuses on the core teachings, such as the Four Noble Truths, the Eightfold Path, and the Three Jewels (Buddha, Dharma, Sangha). It teaches concepts like impermanence, karma, and dependent origination and emphasises meditation practices such as samatha (calm) and vipassana (insight). 

Theravāda emphasises monastic living and individual discipline, with monks striving to achieve arhat status––liberation from suffering.  

In Singapore, Theravada Buddhism has a strong following as there is a history of temples founded by Thai, Sri Lankan and Burmese Venerables in the past. They continue to serve as an important place of learning till today. 

2. Mahāyāna Buddhism 

Mahāyāna, or the “Great Vehicle,” is the tradition most familiar to many Buddhists in Singapore. 

It emphasises universal compassion and the aspiration to awaken not just for ourselves but for all beings. The spiritual role model in Mahāyāna is the bodhisattva—an individual who seeks enlightenment not just for themselves but is also motivated to help others awaken too. 

While it shares many teachings with Theravāda, Mahāyāna uses additional scriptures and highlights that everyone, not just monks and nuns, has Buddhanature and can achieve awakening. Enlightenment can happen within this very lifetime, even amid everyday life. 

The influx of Chinese immigrants since colonial times brought about most of the Buddhist temples and establishments that belong to the Chinese Mahayana tradition.   

3. Vajrayāna Buddhism 

Vajrayāna, or the “Diamond Vehicle,” is also commonly known as Tibetan Buddhism. It builds on Mahāyāna teachings and introduces rituals, visualisations, mantras, and meditation practices. Some practitioners view it as the fastest path to enlightenment, but it requires deep devotion and guidance from an experienced teacher. 

Vajrayāna practices require guru devotion and seeing everything as a form of Dharma practice. Even our daily actions can be transformed into Dharma practice.  

This tradition also embraces the dynamic energies of life, transforming even difficult emotions into tools for awakening. Its spiritual leadership includes respected lamas and gurus; notably, the Dalai Lama is the spiritual leader for Vajrayana Buddhism in the world.  

Thekchen Choling is a temple of the Vajrayana tradition, founded by Singha Rinpoche. We have weekly teachings and Dharma courses that suit learners of different interests, based on teachings of the Lamrim to profound Vajrayana topics.  

How We Celebrate Vesak at Thekchen Choling  

Vesak is a day to honour Buddha’s great compassion in sharing his wisdom and renew our commitment to following his path. On Vesak Day, devotees begin by visiting the temple, making light offerings, and offering prayers of gratitude. 

But Vesak is more than a ceremony. It’s about action. 

During this time, many devotees perform acts of kindness—donating to the needy, benefitting animals, or simply being more present for loved ones. These small ways honour the Buddha’s legacy and live out his teachings daily. 

Last year, Thekchen Choling temple celebrated Vesak with the beloved Animal Blessing Night. It was a joyful gathering of humans and their furry companions, focused on compassion. Visitors engaged in merit-making activities with their pets and explored animal welfare booths from organisations like NParks AVS, ASD, and Metta Cats & Dogs Sanctuary. 

Many devotees and visitors generously donated to our Animal Welfare Fund, helping improve the lives of animals. Events like these remind us that the Dharma extends to all sentient beings, not just humans, and we are deeply grateful for the heartwarming participation and support. 

A Celebration of Universal Love 

Every tradition emphasises on Buddha’s boundless love and compassion. In the spirit of Vesak, we will be connecting with many people and animals during our vibrant Vesak celebrations.  

Our Vesak celebrations are for everyone – both Buddhists and non-Buddhists. Come and experience for yourself how Thekchen Choling, a Vajrayana Buddhist temple, celebrates Vesak! 

May your Vesak be joyous, meaningful, and filled with light. We look forward to celebrating it with you at the open field opposite NEX mall this year, from 10 –12 May! Click here to find out more about the exciting programme. 

Read more on https://thekchencholing.org/blog/blogs-15/post/the-meaning-of-vesak-honouring-the-birth-enlightenment-and-parinirvana-of-buddha-239

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Is Gentle Parenting Effective?

 “We scold you because we love you.” If you grew up in a traditional Asian household, you likely didn’t just hear that phrase—you lived it. The cane might’ve hung behind the door, or maybe your parents would shoot you that look that instantly froze you in place.  Many of us were raised believing love and discipline were the same. The stricter the parent, the better the outcome. And for a time, that approach seemed to work. Or at least, it was the only way we knew. 

But now, as some of us become parents or take on roles as teachers, mentors, uncles, and aunties, we’re starting to ask new questions. Do children need fear to learn? Does scolding shape character—or just obedience? Are there other ways to raise kind, capable, grounded kids without losing our minds? 

Recently, gentle parenting has emerged as a fascinating approach that’s captured the attention of many. Some believe it’s the solution we’ve all been searching for, while others think it might be a bit too lenient or overly idealistic. So, what is it? And does it hold up, especially in an Asian context where discipline is often seen as love? 

What is Gentle Parenting?For starters, gentle parenting is not about letting kids do whatever they want; it’s not sparing the rod and spoiling the child. Gentle parenting involves setting boundaries and expectations, and at its core, it emphasises respect, empathy, understanding, and boundaries. Instead of controlling children through fear or punishment, it focuses on building a connection and guiding children through their emotions.  

For example, a parent who practises gentle parenting might say: 

“I know you’re upset because you wanted to stay longer at the playground. It’s okay to feel sad. But it’s time to go home now. We can come back another day.” 

Compare that to a more traditional response: 

“Stop crying! I said we’re going home. Don’t make me count to three! 1…2...” 

The difference isn’t just in tone—it’s in intention. Gentle parenting recognises that behaviour is a form of communication. A tantrum isn’t just “naughtiness”—it might be a cry for help, or a child struggling with big emotions they don’t yet know how to handle. 

Though it’s one thing to preach, and another to practice. Going down this path is by no means easy. In fact, staying calm when your child is testing your patience requires immense effort. However, research has shown that children raised in this way tend to grow up more emotionally secure, better at managing their feelings, and more open to cooperation rather than defiance.  

A Look at Traditional Asian Parenting

Many of us were brought up in households where obedience was non-negotiable, children were “seen, not heard,” and emotions were often pushed aside for the sake of discipline. There was usually a lot of love, but it came bundled with high expectations, academic pressure, and a fair share of scolding or even spanking. 

We were taught that respect meant doing what we were told, that failure brought shame, and that pushing children hard would make them resilient. 

And in many cases, we did become capable, hardworking adults. But some of us also grew up with anxiety, self-doubt, or difficulty expressing ourselves. We may have struggled to talk openly with our parents or even feared disappointing them more than anything else. 

That doesn’t mean our parents got it all wrong. Their love was real, even if it was expressed through discipline, high expectations, or tough love. They did their best, often guided by their own experiences growing up. However, times have changed, and as we step into adulthood and caregiving roles of our own, we start to notice that parenting isn’t just about shaping behaviour, but rather, about shaping relationships.  

This shift in perspective invites us to reflect and explore other approaches, something gentler yet structured. One such approach can be found in the teachings of Buddhism, which offer meaningful guidance for raising children with compassion, awareness, and respect. 

The Buddhist Approach to Parenting In Buddhism, the goal is not to control but to guide. It teaches us to act with mindfulness, compassion, and intention, including how we relate to children. This can be challenging when your toddler is having a meltdown in public or when your teenager just slammed their door. However, Buddhist principles provide gentle reminders for these very moments. 

Here are a few principles to guide you in parenting with love and compassion: 

Right Speech: Speak truthfully and kindly. Even when correcting a child, choose words that guide, not shame. Instead of “What’s wrong with you?” say, “Let’s talk about what happened. I want to understand.”

Compassion: Kids are still learning, and mistakes are part of the process. When we respond with patience instead of punishment, we teach them they’re loved even when they mess up. 

Non-attachment: Let go of rigid expectations of who our child “should” be. Be open and supportive of their unique journey, rather than forcing them into fitting our expectations. 

Skilful Means: Be resourceful and equipped with the knowledge of what developmental stage our child is at. To be aware of how to guide our child with wisdom at the age our child is at.  

Awareness: As parents, sometimes we might get frustrated with the guiding process. We have to be aware of our emotions – whether we are teaching the child or having a meltdown ourselves. 

However, boundaries must still be set, as structure helps children feel safe. It’s about providing that structure with kindness rather than control. 

Thekchen Choling’s Youth LeagueAt Thekchen Choling, we see this approach in action through our Youth League, where children and teens are encouraged to grow through mindfulness, teamwork, and self-awareness. 

Rather than just telling them how to behave, through our dharma teachings and youth activities, we give them space to discover what matters to them and how they want to show up in the world. 

One recent example? A youth-led hiking initiative. 

Over two weekends in March, our Youth League members planned and led their hikes—first a 4km trail at Rifle Range, then an 8km route through MacRitchie. They weren’t just walking; they were learning how to pace as a team, communicate supportively, and stay aware of each other’s needs. 

After each hike, they reflected on how they managed their energy and mindset, how they supported their team, when they stepped up, and when they stepped back. 

These lessons may not show up on a report card, but they shape character in ways that last a lifetime. And that’s what we aim to nurture—not just high performers, but kind, grounded, mindful individuals. 

Closing Thoughts: Growing Together

Parenting is a long and challenging journey—often messy, sometimes overwhelming, but always meaningful. 

Whether you lean more traditional or are exploring a new way, the heart of parenting remains the same: to guide with love. 

At the end of the day, there’s no single path to raising kind, thoughtful children. It’s just about showing up with awareness and love and giving ourselves the same patience we try to give our kids. 

At Thekchen Choling, we invite families, teachers, and caregivers to join us in this shared journey. Through the Youth League and other programmes, we’re building a space where young people can discover their values, express themselves, and practise what it means to be mindful, compassionate humans. 

If you’re interested to learn more, follow our Youth League on Facebook to see how we explore Buddhism through real-world experiences, creative expression, and meaningful friendships. 

Because raising children isn’t just about telling them what to do—it’s about showing up, again and again, with open hearts and curious minds. 

See more on https://thekchencholing.org/blog/blogs-15/post/is-gentle-parenting-effective-240

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How to Prepare for a Retreat

Have you ever wondered what it takes to prepare for a Buddhist retreat? 

More than just a change of scenery or a break from routine, a retreat is a profound opportunity to meet yourself deeply and cultivate a calm, clear mind free from distraction. Yet before stepping into silence and solitude, it’s essential to prepare—not just logistically, but mentally and spiritually. 

Drawing from the teachings of Lama Zopa Rinpoche and Pabongkha Dechen Nyingpo in Heart Advice for Retreat, this article outlines why retreat matters and how to prepare your mind and motivation in a way that ensures deep inner transformation. 

Why Do a Retreat?   

Retreat isn’t just about removing yourself from daily distractions. It is a sacred pause to reset your heart and mind in alignment with the Dharma. Lama Zopa Rinpoche offers three core reasons to engage in retreat: 

1. Developing Loving-Kindness and Human Affection 

Retreat allows us to cultivate fundamental human qualities such as affection and compassion. Lama Zopa reminds us that unless we generate love and kindness toward others, we will not receive the affection that is so essential to our own happiness. When we open our hearts to others, we become capable of creating the very conditions that foster peace and joy in our lives. 

2. Integrating the Teachings into Daily Life 

Many of us receive Dharma teachings from qualified teachers and lamas. But listening alone is not enough. Retreat provides a precious opportunity to put those teachings into direct practice. Free from the distractions of daily life—our obligations, sensory pleasures, and mental busyness—we finally find the quiet space needed to look inward and truly absorb the Dharma. 

It’s during these moments of solitude that we meet ourselves more honestly and begin to uncover deeper layers of our consciousness. 

3. Building Inner Strength and Clarity 

As the mind settles, it becomes like a crystal-clear lake—calm, transparent, and reflective. In this stillness, we can begin to perceive our Buddha nature more clearly and gain resilience for this life. A healthy, stable mind leads to a healthier body and a more joyful existence. 

Lama Zopa Rinpoche beautifully puts it: 

“Without retreat, without being alone, the mind is like muddy water.  But the mind in retreat, being alone and free of outside distractions,  is like a calm, crystal-clear lake. There is the clarity to help see  oneself more clearly and to see one’s own buddha nature more easily”. 

Preparing the Mind: Motivation 

The success of a retreat depends largely on your mental attitude before it even begins. 

A Noble Motivation 

The right motivation is not simply to find personal peace or spiritual attainment. Rather, it is to benefit all sentient beings. As Rinpoche teaches: 

“The purpose of my life is not just to be free from samsara myself, but to free all sentient beings from suffering and bring them to enlightenment… Every single hell being, hungry ghost, animal, human, sura, and asura is the most precious, most kind being in my life.” 

With this vast altruistic vision, retreat becomes a means to fulfill our responsibility toward all living beings, honoring their kindness and dedicating our efforts to their awakening. 

Letting Go of the Eight Worldly Dharmas 

Before retreat, it is crucial to turn the mind away from the eight worldly concerns—praise and blame, gain and loss, pleasure and pain, fame and disgrace. Clinging to these can sabotage your retreat from within. 

When we enter retreat with worldly motivations—hoping to “achieve something,” or escape discomfort—we open the door to mental turbulence. This often manifests as “loong” — a Tibetan term for an inner wind imbalance linked to stress and agitation. 

Rinpoche explains that loong often arises when expectations collide with reality. When you want peace but are disturbed by someone’s cough, or when you’re clinging to success in mantra recitations, your mind rebels. You may feel imprisoned, not by walls, but by your own thoughts. 

“Even though the police did not put you in prison, your mind has created a prison.” 

To counter this, we must root out these eight worldly concerns before we step into our retreat space. Only then can the mind rest and settle. 

Practices to Prepare the Mind 

To remove these inner obstacles, begin with foundational meditations: 

1. Precious Human Rebirth 

Reflect on how rare and valuable this human life is. We have the physical freedom, intelligence, and opportunity to practice the Dharma. Contemplating this can generate great enthusiasm for using every moment meaningfully. Read up on the eight freedoms and ten richnesses of this human rebirth to have a greater understanding of this. 

2. Death and Impermanence 

A powerful way to strip away trivial concerns is to meditate on the certainty and unpredictability of death. Rinpoche advises us not to repeat the words like a mantra while still believing we have plenty of time left. 

“Completely decide that it is definitely going to happen today.” 

This helps shake the mind out of its usual complacency and re-orients our values toward what truly matters. 

Great yogis such as Thogme Zangpo and Kara Gomchen went so far as to hang signs outside their retreat dwellings saying, “If I follow the eight worldly dharmas or self-cherishing thought, please destroy me immediately.” That’s how seriously they took the vow to prepare the mind before deep practice. 

Guarding the Mind in Retreat Space

When the retreat begins, set a powerful intention for your environment: 

“As long as I am in this room, I shall not allow the eight worldly dharmas, self-cherishing thought, or wrong views to enter. These thoughts cannot come into this space.” 

By consciously deciding what mental states are allowed into your sacred space, you create a boundary that protects your retreat from becoming yet another theater for worldly drama. 

Final Thoughts 

In our contemporary lives, we would be busy with our families, career, and worldly enjoyment. We rarely pay attention to our spiritual practice and do something that will be of benefit to our present and future lives. This is an opportunity for great accumulation of merit and purification of negative karma on the path to awakening. 

Retreat is not simply about doing more—more mantras, more sessions, more discipline. It is about being more: more present, more honest, and more aligned with your deepest intention. 

With the right motivation, clarity, and inner discipline, your retreat can become a transformative journey—an intimate meeting with your Buddha nature, in a space where the muddy waters of the mind can finally settle. 

Keen to join a retreat? 

 A retreat need not be a solitary retreat. If you are unsure of how to get started, we recommend joining our Thekchen Choling retreats where you can listen to teachings and practice the Dharma together with a community under the guidance of Singha Rinpoche! 

Thekchen Choling will be holding two retreats for the second half of the year. The first one is Connect with Guru Rinpoche, a two day retreat at Thekchen Choling (Malaysia) in Kota Tinggi. The second retreat is Maha-Cundi Drubchen, where there will be intensive teachings, retreats, and a fire puja at the end of the retreat. It will be held at Thekchen Choling Singapore.  

Click on these links to find out more about each event:  

Connect with Guru Rinpoche: https://thekchencholing.org/GBC  

Maha-Cundi Drubchen: https://thekchencholing.org/page/cundi-ceremony  

May your retreat be peaceful, purposeful, and filled with inner light.   

Read more on https://thekchencholing.org/blog/blogs-15/post/how-to-prepare-for-a-retreat-241

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Navigating Life’s Transitions with Buddhist Wisdom

Life changes—sometimes gradually, sometimes all at once. 

A relationship ends, a loved one passes on, or a job we depended on suddenly disappears. Even happy milestones, like moving to a new home or becoming a parent, can leave us unstable. 

These are not just changes; they are transitions. They mark the shift from one part of life to another and can profoundly affect our routines, identities, and what we value. 

They come with all kinds of messy, hard-to-pin-down feelings: sadness, fear, anger, numbness, confusion, and sometimes even guilt or shame. 

We might start questioning:   

“Who am I now?” 

“Why is this happening to me?” 

“Will things ever be normal again?” 

What makes it even harder is the feeling that we should “move on” quickly—get over it already—as if everyone else is bouncing back and we’re the only ones still struggling. 

But what if nothing’s wrong with us? 

What if this is just… what it means to be human? 

These are the moments when Buddhist teachings can help. They may not give clear answers, but they remind us how to stay calm amid change, turbulent or not. Read more on https://thekchencholing.org/blog/blogs-15/post/navigating-lifes-transitions-with-buddhist-wisdom-242

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Understanding Karma

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to have it easier while others struggle even when doing their best? Or why do certain experiences keep repeating themselves in your life? Because of karma. It is a fundamental Buddhist principle that explains how our actions shape our experiences, both in this life and beyond.

Many people think karma is a system of punishment or reward, like some kind of cosmic justice, but in reality, it is simply the natural law of cause and effect—what we do, say, and think creates ripples that shape our future.  

What is Karma?

In Sanskrit, karma means action. Every action we take—whether it’s our thoughts, words, or actions—creates an effect that shapes our future experiences. 

Think of it like planting seeds. If you plant mango seeds, you’ll get a mango tree. If you plant weeds, you get weeds. Similarly, positive actions lead to happiness, while negative actions lead to suffering. What’s important is that karma is not immediate—it ripens under the right conditions, sometimes much later in life. 

Also, karma is not the same as fate. Our lives are not pre-destined, and we are not stuck with a fixed future. Instead, it is an active process that we can shape by making better choices in the present. 

Common Misconceptions About Karma 

Sadly, many people misunderstand karma because it is often misrepresented in pop culture. Here, we want to clarify some of the common myths: 

Misconception: Karma is instant payback.  Reality: Karma doesn’t work like revenge or reward. Many people believe that if they do something bad today, something terrible will immediately happen to them. In reality, karma takes time to develop, sometimes across lifetimes.

Misconception: Karma is punishment or reward.  Reality: It is not divine justice but the result of past actions. If someone experiences hardship, it is a natural outcome of what has happened in the past, not some supernatural punishment.  

Karma is fixed or unchangeable.  Reality: Some people think that if they have created bad karma, their life is doomed to suffer forever. However, karma is changeable. Through conscious efforts, such as purification, making amends and positive actions, we can change our karma and create a better future. 

Why Understanding Karma is Important 

Understanding karma helps us take responsibility for our lives. 

It encourages ethical living. When we understand that our actions have consequences, we become more mindful of what we say and do. 

It empowers us. Instead of blaming others for our problems, we understand and realise that we can shape our future with our actions today. 

It helps us accept life’s ups and downs. Knowing our experiences result from our past actions, we cultivate patience and resilience. 

For example, have you ever blamed bad luck for negative things that happened to you—like being unable to maintain a long-term relationship or struggling to find meaningful connections? Instead of blaming bad luck or thinking, “Aiyah, it’s my fate,” you might want to reflect on your past actions. Could there have been times you were unkind, impatient or dishonest that may have resulted in these experiences? With this awareness, you can actively and consciously work to change your behaviour, planting seeds for healthier, more fulfilling relationships in the future.  

The Four Outlines of Karma

Karma is not random; it follows a structured process. These Four Outlines explain how our actions shape our experiences and how we can take charge of our future. 

Karma is Definite 

Every action has a corresponding result. Acts of kindness lead to kindness, while negativity leads to suffering. If we practice generosity, we cultivate abundance. If we frequently complain, dissatisfaction follows. Understanding this helps us make more mindful choices. 

Karma is Expandable 

Small actions can grow into significant consequences. A tiny seed becomes a large tree, just as a single kind act can create lasting positive effects. Similarly, repeated negativity accumulates over time. Even small decisions—choosing patience over anger or honesty over deceit—shape our future in powerful ways. 

If Karma is NOT Created, it CAN NOT Be Experienced 

Nothing happens by chance—our experiences arise from past actions. If we desire happiness, we must actively create it through good deeds. For example, if you regularly help others, you naturally attract kindness and support. The point is that we have control over our karma and can shape a more positive life by being intentional with our actions. 

Karma CANNOT Disappear Unless It is Purified 

Just as a stain on a cloth won’t disappear on its own, negative karma remains unless we actively cleanse it. We can purify past karma through sincere regret, making amends, and committing to better actions. While we cannot erase past mistakes, we can reduce their impact and set a new course for the future. 

Shaping Your Future with Karma

The beauty of karma is that it is changeable. It is not just about consequences; it’s about creating change. By understanding how karma works, we can take conscious steps to improve our lives. 

Creating Positive Karma 

Every action, word, and thought plants a seed for the future. Since our actions shape karma, we can transform our lives by choosing honesty, patience, generosity, and compassion to create the conditions for happiness and success. The more good karma we generate, the more we shape a future filled with positive experiences, meaningful relationships, and inner peace. 

Purifying Negative Karma

We’ve learned that negative karma isn’t set in stone — it can be lessened or transformed. Buddhism teaches that we can purify negative karma by recitation of mantras and confessional prayers, engage in meditation such as Tonglen, doing prostrations and acts of service such as cleaning the temple and stupas. Just as a dirty pot can be cleaned, our karma can also be purified through sincere effort. Practising compassion and mindfulness thereafter prevents us from accumulating negative karma in the future. 

Conclusion

Karma is not about fate or punishment but empowerment. Every thought, word, and action shapes the life you experience. Karma is like a tool for real, meaningful change. By understanding karma, you can take charge of your future and create a life of wisdom, kindness, and true fulfilment. 

So, what seeds are you planting today to create positive karma? 

Learn more about how karma and Buddhist wisdom can transform your life by attending teachings at Thekchen Choling Temple near Jalan Besar or exploring our blog for practical teachings you can apply to your daily life. https://www.thekchencholing.org/blog/blogs-15/post/understanding-karma-234

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Bodhicitta – A Teaching by Singha Rinpoche Extracted from Dewdrops issue January to March 2005

So what is the purpose of practicing Dharma? 

When I posed this question to my students in the past, two of them answered me. The first student’s answer was "To change my mind and make it more peaceful." The second student said, "To save all sentient beings and liberate them."  

The first answer is the Hinayana level of answer: it stems from the wish for my mind to be at peace, this is not wrong, the second answer is the Mahayana level: to want liberation for all sentient beings. This is better but still it is not good enough, the best answer is that the reason for practicing Dharma is to become enlightened ourselves and become Buddha, for only when you are a Buddha can you help sentient beings in many, many ways.  

If you do not want to become Buddha, why practice Dharma? Can you help all sentient beings at this point in time? No, not possible! However, while you may not be able to help all, you could help some; and if you cannot help some, you could still help one sentient being, right? At least, while walking on the road filled with ants crawling on the floor, you do not step on them on purpose and kill them, Instead, when you see ants, you avoid stepping on them, this is practicing Dharma. You cherish others, regardless of whether it is an ant, a fish or a human being. That is the purpose of practicing Dharma.  

Practicing Dharma equates to getting enlightened which equals cherishing others. If you could cherish others so much, when you encounter problems, you do not see them as problems, if you could see that you are the only person as compared to so many ·other sentient beings, then when you yourself suffer, you think 'It’s OK! I'm only one person! Others are innumerable!" Trust me, if you have this kind of mind, you will not suffer because negative conditions will not come to you, Look at all the past masters. For instance, while Lama Serlingpa, who was Atisha's teacher, prayed out of his great compassion to be reborn in hell for all sentient beings, he was not reborn in hell! Instead, he kept returning to the human realm as great Buddhist saints!  

So once again, there is no immediate solution when others seem to make things difficult for you. The only way out is you must have Bodhicitta, which is the key to the door of happiness. Bodhicitta also locks out suffering. It is also the best sports shoes you could find! With it, you can walk and run in any difficult situation. So, you must develop Bodhicitta. Otherwise, it is not possible for your practice to develop. Whatever you do is meaningless without it.  

From the very start, you must strongly arouse the wish to be more mindful and work towards it rather than regret your lack of mindfulness after you have become angry or after some emotional outburst. So, if you were to tell me that you could not be more mindful and could not manage to notice when you were just about to get angry, I would tell you that your excuse is lousy! That is why I said that this is the answer you would not like to hear! You did not put in enough effort! Frankly how many of you think about Bodhicitta every day? Even if you do, do you spend enough time on it, or do you also just maintain your same level of Bodhicitta every day? If you never try to improve your bodhichilta, then it is like that is everything is flat, zero! You get contented with your level of development and not try to improve anymore. If you continue this way until you die, you will not see any improvement in your mind, be it trying to improve your mindfulness or love. You have never tried to think of how to integrate your spiritual meditations into your daily life, only thinking superficially in your mind "Oh I want to develop Bodhicitta, to benefit others ... blah blah blah" but you have never tried to think about HOW to benefit other sentient beings!  

If a beggar on the street asked me for money, should I give money? Yes, right? So in the same way, we thought about Bodhicitta and what it was all about, but we did not prepare ourselves on how to react to situations. We must mentally prepare ourselves and consider all the possibilities that could happen. If someone were to upset me, how should I react? If someone scolds me, am I ready to show patience instead?  

Therefore, Bodhicitta is the best because Bodhicitta works not only for this present life or future lives, it will help us all the way to enlightenment. Now there are going to be one thousand Buddhas in this eon. You all can strive to become these Buddhas. Really! It is only a matter whether you want to or not.  https://www.thekchencholing.org/blog/blogs-15/post/bodhicitta-a-teaching-by-singha-rinpoche-233

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Becoming Like Guanyin - A teaching by Singha Rinpoche

It is important for every one of us to remember the qualities that are possible for us to actualize.

It is your choice to become Avalokitesvara or Guanyin. So why do I say that this is important? It is because Chinese and Tibetan people like Guanyin.  The Indian principal Deity, in the past, is also Guanyin or Avalokitesvara.   

It is important to know what this day is about. Otherwise, it becomes meaningless, where everybody becomes vegetarian 3 days a year.   

What is important is to ask ourselves why we feel safe with Guanyin. Everybody goes to Guanyin temple to pray and feel safe.  Why do you feel safe?  Yes, Guanyin is very compassionate and have loving kindness. You feel safe because you are relieved from suffering and can throw our emotions at her as she doesn’t judge.  

The most important thing is for everyone to learn the meanings from Avalokiteshvara’s name. What is important is the awareness of the five aggregates. With this awareness of aggregates, the most important is the Mahayana teaching in the realization of the emptiness of phenomena. So, when we say we all rely on Guanyin, it's also the mistaken way because when you rely on Guanyin, you feel you are a real person and Guanyin is also real and there is a real personality called Guanyin.  

Our ordinary uneducated Buddhist or training disciple thinks that there is a real Guanyin and that I am praying to this Guanyin. However, what does it mean to be like Guanyin and what does it mean to be like Avalokitesvara? Importantly, it is so that whatever you see, you unsee, whatever you hear, you unhear, whatever you feel, you unfeel, whatever you want to talk, don't talk, don't gossip, whatever you want to smell or taste or all the tactile or your perceptions, they are all your own perceptions that is not the reality. So, what is the most important point in terms of the teaching is to see Guanyin as Guru and see Guanyin in disguise of Guru. That is for the very advanced practitioners to see Guanyin as Guru. Ordinary people will just see Guru as ordinary human being, and then deity is deity, Bodhisattva as Bodhisattva. Advanced and deep practitioners, they realise the guru is the deity. The purpose and the meaning of all these is to free ourselves from our own nonsense. We have a lot of our own nonsense because when we see something, we believe in that something. When we hear something, we believe in that something, or when we taste something, we believe in it.   

There are many bad people who do many good things and good deeds. So, if we choose to be at the level that “I want to do good deeds”, that “I want to do this ...and that”, and then we criticize other people who do not do or believe the way that we believe and feel, then we know you are at the beginner level. I wouldn't say you're wrong, you're just at the beginner level because beginners are taught like that in society, that teaches us to make things happen like that.  

So many people ask me what to do, what am I supposed to feel when I'm reciting? You're supposed to feel regret for all that we’ve done, all the nonsense that we've said against Dharma brothers, sisters, parents and Guru, including all the wrong views, anger, judgment on each other and this and that. We are supposed to feel a sense of regret and now we ask for blessings from Chenrezig that we can become like him. This is important because it is not just a matter of us coming and reciting together. That defeats the purpose as it's not like that.  

Visualisation and Recitation on Chenrezig  

So, I generate and reframe my mind that I practice at this moment the heart of compassion, the spirit of Enlightenment that I may awaken into Buddhahood so that I can save and liberate all beings and ourselves from all forms of delusion, ignorance, fear, sadness, hunger and all types of sufferings including sicknesses, diseases, black magic, curses, Naga attacks and so forth.  

May Guru protect me, guide me, hold me, bless me that I may be free from all these and become like you.  I want you to feel from Chenrezig’s (Guanyin’s) hand as though he is holding a wish-fulfilling jewel, shooting out a laser of white light which fills your whole body and becomes white. Imagine the light shooting into your heart and you recite “Om Mani Padme Hung”. From the lower part of your body, that means your lower parts where you go to the toilet, dispelling all your negative guilt, your regret, your sadness, your suffering, and all the things that we feel powerless about. The things that we didn't know, and all the things that we killed, feel regret for, the things we lied about, the things we cheated on because we were frightened – all these things we ask him to forgive us, and we recite “Om Mani Padme Hung”. Most importantly, we pray and aspire to become like him. So, please pray to Guru Chenrezig and recite the mantra.  

Recite: “Guru Chenrezig, please send your light to my heart, to my life, to all my past lives, and send me the light, for me, to see my future clearly. So that I may make the blessed decisions, with your blessings, support, and guidance. Om Mani Padme Hung.”  

Now please change your visualization to Chenrezig sending light to you. Then this light now shines on all your friends, shining on all your family members, your friends, and the people that don't like you, hate you, gossip about you, the people and your enemies you don't like also. The light Guanyin sends to you, you shine on the people that you don't know too. Especially right now, it is very important that we have to shine the light on all the countries at war. So, from us we become bright like the sun and then we shine this light on them and relieve them of their suffering which is very important. This time, you need to recite the mantra, but you must feel a vibration coming out of your body, don’t mumble the mantra.  

Watch this teaching on YouTube by clicking here. 

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Do you love or hate yourself? Embrace growth through Buddhist wisdom

Many of us have an inner voice that pushes us to work harder and improve.

But sometimes, that voice isn’t encouraging—it’s harsh, unforgiving, and full of criticism. “I should have done better.” 

“I’m such a clutz, always messing things up.” 

“I’m just not good enough.” 

Sounds familiar? We’ve all heard that inner voice before, and while we may think this form of self-criticism may seem helpful, it often does more harm than good. It can make us feel unworthy, drain our motivation, and lead to stress and anxiety.

On the other hand, there is self-compassion. Instead of beating ourselves up over mistakes, we treat our struggles with kindness and understanding, just as we would a good friend.  

So, what exactly is self-compassion? How is it different from self-criticism? How can we practice self-compassion to foster personal growth? 

To answer these questions, let’s first take a step back to understand self-criticism and self-compassion. 

What is Self-Criticism? 

Self-criticism is that nagging inner voice (also known as the inner critic) that constantly judges us and points at our flaws and mistakes. It may seem like it’s coming from a desire to improve, but it can quickly devolve into self-judgment and feelings of inadequacy. 

How many of us have experienced this: for example, when we made a mistake at work or home and the first thing we thought of was, “I messed up again. I’m so incompetent and useless. How could I have made such a terrible mistake?!”  This inner dialogue doesn’t just affect how we feel—it can shape how we act, making us more fearful of failure and less willing to take on challenges. 

We may not realise it but self-criticism can take many forms, such as: 

Being perfect: Setting unrealistic standards and feeling worthless when we don’t meet them. 

Comparing ourselves to others: Constantly measuring ourselves against others and feeling inadequate. 

Negative self-talk: Saying things to ourselves that we would never say to a friend. 

Rather than a motivator, research has shown that self-criticism often has the opposite effect—it makes us feel discouraged, anxious, and stuck in negative thought patterns. In Buddhism, self-criticism is seen as a form of suffering. The more we engage in negative self-talk, the more we feel guilty, ashamed, and anxious. This suffering becomes a burden we carry, preventing us from becoming stronger or moving forward.  

What is Self-Compassion? 

Self-compassion is treating ourselves with the same kindness and understanding that we would give a friend. Instead of harsh self-judgment, we acknowledge and accept our struggles with warmth and patience. 

Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading researcher on self-compassion, simplified self-compassion into three key components: 

1. Self-kindness – Being gentle with yourself instead of overly critical. 

2. Common humanity – Recognising that mistakes and struggles are a part of being human. 

3. Mindfulness – Observing emotions without ignoring or exaggerating them. 

For example, if your close friend failed at something they worked very hard on, you wouldn’t tell them, “You’re a failure, you’ll never succeed”, right?  You would probably soften your tone as you remind them that mistakes do happen, that they’re still worthy, and that they can always improve. Self-compassion is about giving that same kindness to yourself. 

Buddhism teaches the practice of metta (loving-kindness) so that we can extend compassion not just to others but also to ourselves. True compassion starts from within—only when we cultivate self-kindness can we fully extend kindness to the world. 

We can practice self-compassion through the metta meditation by repeating phrases like: 

“May I be happy. May I be free from suffering. May I be at peace.” 

When we approach our struggles with compassion instead of judgment, we start to heal, learn, and grow in a kind and constructive way. The next time you find yourself in a difficult situation, try the metta meditation and notice how you feel after.  

Why Self-Compassion Leads to Personal Growth 

Many people think that self-compassion will make them complacent, but actually, it’s just the opposite! When we let ourselves be human—flawed but capable of growth—we become more resilient and open to learning. 

1. Self-Compassion Reduces Fear of Failure 

When we fear making mistakes, we may avoid challenges altogether. Self-compassion allows us to try new things without getting scared of failing. 

For example, a student who fails an exam might think, “I’m terrible at this subject; I should just give up,” or, with self-compassion, “This was tough, but I can learn from my mistakes and try again.” The second mindset encourages perseverance. 

2. It Builds Emotional Resilience 

Buddhism teaches that suffering is part of life, but it is how we respond to that suffering that really matters. Practising self-compassion helps us recognise our pain without letting it control our lives. 

For example, instead of thinking, “I shouldn’t feel sad,” we can shift our mindset to thinking, “May I take on all sentient being’s sadness and may all sentient beings be happy.” This is also part of the practice of Tonglen in the Mahayana path, where we expand our heart for all beings instead of merely focusing on ourselves.  

3. It Strengthens Our Connection with Others 

When we are kinder to ourselves, we become more compassionate toward others. Harsh self-judgment often makes us more critical of others, while self-compassion fosters patience, understanding, and deeper connections. 

In Buddhism, we are all connected and share our experiences with others. By understanding our struggles, we can better empathise with others and build stronger relationships. 

Practising Self-Compassion in Everyday Life 

Self-compassion isn’t about avoiding responsibility. It is about being kind to ourselves so that we can cultivate positive growth in a nurturing way rather than being harsh and critical. Here are a few ways to practice self-compassion in daily life: 

1. Talk to Yourself Like a Friend 

If you find yourself being overly self-critical, pause and ask, “Would I say this to a friend?” If not, try rephrasing it with kindness. 

2. Practice Metta (Loving-Kindness) Meditation 

Take a few moments each day to send good wishes to yourself and others with the metta meditation. Some phrases you could use are: “May I be safe, healthy and at peace. May All beings be safe, happy and at peace. 

3. Observe Your Emotions Without Judgment 

Instead of ignoring difficult emotions, accept them kindly without any judgement. Simply watch the thoughts and emotions pass through you like an observation, and do not feel that this is good or bad. This practice fosters self-awareness and acceptance.  

A Path to Growth and Inner Peace 

Buddhism teaches that we grow as people not by being hard on ourselves but by being aware and kind. When we stop criticising ourselves and start being compassionate, we can achieve better emotional balance, resilience, and wisdom. 

By being compassionate to ourselves, we let ourselves heal and learn instead of being trapped in guilt and self-doubt. We start to see ourselves as works in progress—imperfect, yet capable of growth and change. 

At Thekchen Choling, we regularly organise Dharma courses, spiritual activities, and community events. Visit our site and check out the Dharma courses we have for you and our youths, or join our community’s Telegram channel to get updates on our upcoming events and activities. 

May we all cultivate self-compassion and spread that to others, creating a world filled with understanding and kindness. 

https://www.thekchencholing.org/blog/blogs-15/post/do-you-love-or-hate-yourself-embrace-growth-through-buddhist-wisdom-230

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The Story of Thekchen Choling’s Jigong Rupa

In the heart of Singapore, nestled in the city’s bustling landscape, Thekchen Choling Singapore stands as a beacon of spiritual practice, compassion and wisdom.

Interestingly, the land on which Thekchen Choling now resides holds a rich and unique history, going back to Singapore’s early founding years. It was once home to the Jigong Temple, a place dedicated to the revered Chinese Bodhisattva, Jigong. This historical connection between Thekchen Choling and Jigong Bodhisattva offers a fascinating insight into the temple’s history in Singapore.  

Why is Jigong enshrined in a Vajrayana Temple? 

At first glance, one might wonder why a Buddhist temple following the Vajrayana tradition would house the sacred image of Jigong, a Bodhisattva known for his eccentric ways and playful wisdom, a figure well-known in Chinese culture. The answer lies in the temple’s rich history and its dedication to preserving this spiritual artefact. 

Thekchen Choling Singapore is situated on land that was originally home to the Jigong Temple (Chee Kong Tong 济公堂), a site that holds significance to the Chinese community in Singapore. According to the National Heritage Board, the Jigong Temple was established in 1939 by a migrant from Shanghai who had initially set up a small altar near the gates of the New World amusement park. Over time, the temple grew, and many statues of Jigong, crafted from wood and ceramic, were housed there, becoming important focal points of devotion for Chinese devotees.  

Former Chee Kong Tong in 1990s (Source: URA) 

This historical photo taken of the previous devotees of the former Jigong Temple, was entrusted to Thekchen Choling for safekeeping. It was taken in 1944 during the Syonan period of the Japanese Occupation, to commemorate a Grand Compassionate Prayer Ceremony held at the temple. Devotees from young children to elderly were all donned in HaiQing ceremonial robes. 

About Jigong Bodhisattva 

Jigong, born in 1130 CE in China, also known as Daoji HeShang (道济和尚), is a celebrated Bodhisattva who embodies the principle of “crazy wisdom.” His unconventional behavior and humorous, mischievous ways serve as a reminder that spiritual wisdom does not always conform to societal norms. Despite his eccentric personality, Jigong is deeply compassionate, often going to great lengths to help others, sometimes even performing miracles for others, regardless of their social standing or background. His actions, though sometimes seen as rebellious, were always guided by a deep sense of compassion and wisdom. Thus, Jigong is a highly accomplished practitioner despite his haggard appearance as manifestation. His story and teachings continue to inspire countless devotees around the world. 

In 2006, when Thekchen Choling Singapore acquired the building that once housed the Jigong Temple, one of the sacred relics inherited from the former custodians of the Jigong Temple was a revered Jigong rupa. This sacred object, which physical evidence approximates to be about 200 years old, is a symbol of Jigong's enduring legacy and his profound connection to the local community. Devotees from all over, including as far away as Taiwan, have made pilgrimages to Thekchen Choling to pay their respects to this revered statue. On one occasion, a devotee even requested the statue. However, Singha Rinpoche, the Spiritual Director of Thekchen Choling, kindly declined the offer, emphasizing his commitment to ensuring that the Jigong rupa would always have a special place within the temple. 

The Current Thekchen Choling Singapore 

Thekchen Choling Singapore has undergone tremendous growth since its early days as a small apartment-based Dharma center. Today, it stands as one of the most prominent Vajrayana Buddhist temples in Singapore, known for its authenticity, dedication to spiritual practice, and commitment to serving the community. 

As a temple rooted in the Vajrayana Buddhist tradition, Thekchen Choling offers a range of teachings, practices, and rituals curated to help individuals on their path to enlightenment. It provides a sanctuary where people of all ages and backgrounds can come together to learn, meditate, and engage in acts of kindness and compassion. The temple is also involved in a wide range of community outreach activities, both locally and internationally, reflecting its commitment to helping those in need and promoting social welfare. 

Over the years, Thekchen Choling has seen many people from different walks of life come together to support its mission. From volunteers offering their time and effort to donors contributing financially, the temple’s growth has been a collective effort that continues to thrive thanks to the unwavering commitment of its community. 

The temple's journey has been marked by its dedication to providing a space for spiritual development. Today, Thekchen Choling is embarking on a new chapter with plans for substantial renovations to its building. The historic structure, built in the 1930s, now requires significant updates to accommodate the growing needs of the community. The new space will feature an expanded teaching hall, providing a more spacious and tranquil environment for meditation, teachings, and reflection. This renovation will ensure that Thekchen Choling remains a vibrant center for spiritual growth for years to come. 

Conclusion: Visit Our Temple and Discover Its Rich History 

Our building at No. 2 Beatty Lane is not just a temple; it is a living testament to the enduring power of wisdom, compassion, and community. Its rich history, from its origins as the Jigong Temple to its present-day role as a vibrant Vajrayana Buddhist temple, offers a unique glimpse into the spiritual landscape of Singapore. From Jigong Temple to Thekchen Choling, this place continues to be a sanctuary of spiritual worship. This adds to the tapestry of diverse spiritual traditions and multi-culturalism that is passed on for future generations.  

We invite you to visit Thekchen Choling and pay your respects to Jigong Bodhisattva, whose legacy continues to inspire all who encounter him. Discover the history of this hidden gem in the heart of Singapore, and let its timeless wisdom guide you on your own spiritual journey. https://www.thekchencholing.org/blog/blogs-15/post/the-story-of-thekchen-cholings-jigong-rupa-229

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Teaching Children to Embrace Differences

You’re at a playground with your child when they point at another child and ask, “Mommy, why does he talk funny?”

or “Why are her skin and hair so white?” How would you react in that situation? As a parent or caregiver, you might feel a little embarrassed or unsure how to respond. This is natural because children are curious by nature and their questions are often innocent observations, not judgments. 

However, if we don’t address these questions correctly, with understanding and openness, our children may start forming assumptions and biases, picking up hints from their surroundings. Teaching children to embrace differences without labelling or judging others is now more important than ever in today’s diverse society. 

In Buddhism, non-judgement isn’t just about accepting others––it’s about cultivating a compassionate mind that is aware. By being more mindful and accepting, we can help our children develop kindness, understanding and a healthier perspective on the world. 

So, how can we help our children accept differences non-judgmentally? It starts with our thoughts, words, and actions. 

What is non-judgment through a Buddhist perspective? 

Non-judgment means observing people and situations without attaching labels or personal biases. It’s about seeing things as they truly are rather than through the lens of our opinions. This practice fosters compassion and acceptance while helping us maintain a balanced state of mind. 

Our minds naturally categorise and label things––good or bad, right or wrong, familiar or strange. These automatic judgments can shape how we interact with the world, sometimes creating unnecessary suffering. 

These labels of what is good or bad, are thoughts that pass through our mind. Meditation techniques such as mindfulness allows us to develop self-awareness and recognise thoughts as though they were clouds passing through. This allows us to let go of judgements, thoughts, and labels, that come to our mind.   

Why Teaching Non-Judgment Matters 

Encourages Empathy & Inclusion – When children learn to approach people with openness instead of judgment, they develop deeper empathy and stronger relationships with others. 

Reduces Bullying & Prejudice – Many stereotypes, biases and bullying come from early judgments about people. If we teach children to recognise differences without labelling them, we can create a more accepting and kind society. 

Builds Self-Awareness – Practicing non-judgment teaches children to be more aware of their thoughts and reactions. They learn to pause and think about different viewpoints instead of reacting immediately. 

Promotes Emotional Well-Being – Being judgmental can cause frustration, resentment and unnecessary stress. Teaching children to accept others as they are, helps them develop emotional resilience and inner peace. 

Our Role as Caregivers

As parents and caregivers, we play a crucial role in shaping our children’s mindsets and attitudes. Children absorb not only what we tell them but also how we behave. If they hear us making assumptions about others, for example, based on their appearance, background or behaviour, they will likely adopt the same approach. The opposite is also true––when we model kindness, curiosity, and open-mindedness, they will learn to do the same. 

Have you ever judged someone quickly––perhaps a stranger in the lift, a colleague or even a relative? What was your assumption? Did it turn out to be true? Recognising our tendencies to judge can help us be more mindful in teaching children to pause before forming opinions. 

At Thekchen Choling, our spiritual director teaches us values such as non-judgement and inclusivity for people of all walks of life. Devotees practise according to these values, ensuring that everyone feels welcomed and accepted no matter who they are. This promotes harmony, unity and unconditional acceptance for all.  

Practical Strategies to Teach Non-judgment  

Teaching non-judgment is not about ignoring differences; rather, it is about helping children appreciate diversity without labelling them. Here are some ways to do this in everyday life: 

1. Encourage Open Conversations About Differences 

Children are naturally curious and they cannot help but question differences, whether about culture, language, abilities or beliefs when they notice them. Instead of ignoring these questions, they should be met with openness and used as a teaching opportunity.  

For example, if your child asks why someone is using a wheelchair, you can explain that their legs work differently so they use the wheelchair to get around, just like how some people wear glasses to see better.  

This normalises differences rather than making them seem strange or “other”. 

2. Model Non-Judgment in Everyday Situations 

Children learn by watching adults around them. If we want them to be more accepting and less judgmental, we must model that behaviour in our daily interactions. 

Think about how often we laugh at viral memes or videos showing young children using bad words picked up from adults. While it may seem harmless and even funny, it’s a clear example of how easily children absorb and repeat what they see or hear. The same applies to how they learn to judge others. If they hear us making fun of someone’s appearance, or criticising a stranger’s behaviour, they will copy these attitudes. 

What can we do instead? We can practice mindful speech and reactions. For example, if we see someone behaving differently from what we’re used to, we may say, “Everyone has their way of doing things, and that’s okay.” Or if the child notices a cultural difference, we can explain, “People come from different backgrounds, and that makes the world interesting.” 

By being intentional with our words and actions, we set a powerful example for our children, showing them that embracing differences is a natural part of a kind and open-minded life. 

3. Practice Mindfulness  

Mindfulness helps both adults and children become more aware of their thoughts and reactions before jumping to conclusions. One way to cultivate this habit is by pausing before forming an opinion.  For example, when your child makes a judgmental comment, ask them “What makes you think that?” or “Could there be another reason why the person is behaving like that?” 

Encouraging our children to pause and reflect teaches our children to consider various viewpoints instead of reacting based on initial assumptions. 

Creating a More Compassionate Future 

Raising children who embrace differences and avoid labels is not about ignoring diversity—it’s about helping them see the world with kindness and understanding. When we cultivate non-judgment, we help our children become more empathetic, and compassionate individuals who can connect with people from all walks of life. 

By practising mindfulness and kindness, we set an example for the next generation to follow. 

If you’d like to delve deeper into Buddhist teachings and mindful perspectives to life , visit Thekchen Choling temple at Jalan Besar. We are a vibrant Vajrayana Buddhist community committed to helping individuals on their spiritual journeys. You can also listen to Singha Rinpoche’s Dharma teachings on YouTube to gain deeper insights into Buddhist wisdom and everyday mindfulness.  https://www.thekchencholing.org/blog/blogs-15/post/teaching-children-to-embrace-differences-232

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Chinese New Year

Welcoming Lunar New Year of the Auspicious Snake

Celebrate the joyous spirit of Chinese New Year at our temple, where vibrant traditions are imbued with Dharma essence. Join us in lighting fragrant incense, making heartfelt aspirations, and participating in ceremonies to invoke divine blessings and accumulate abundant merits — an auspicious way to begin the year of the snake! 

At Thekchen Choling, surround yourself with the love of our community and open your heart and mind to the valuable wisdom we have to share. Engage deeply with the transformative teachings of the Dharma, and uncover the strength and inspiration that will guide you toward personal growth, success, and inner tranquility.  We warmly invite you and your loved ones to join us in celebrating a joyous and meaningful CNY at Thekchen Choling Singapore. May your Year of the Snake be filled with joy, abundance, and spiritual inspiration!