tchstrved - Tumblr blog

[tchstrved]

“I want my body to feel my body. I want my body to feel.”

— — Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore, from The Freezer Door

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cj. 31. gmt. they/them.

private, selective, low activity cartoon based rogue of the x-men!

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not me logging back in after 3 years because i was so emotionally devastated by the latest x-men 97 episode

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i still live. 

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WHY DO YOU HUNT MONSTERS? 

to make sure there's a difference between you and them. 

there was a time when you wouldn't have had to ask that question. but that feels so long ago. the truth is that you're angry. the truth is that you want revenge. it's just that you know what will happen if you get it -- plus, what won't happen. what won't happen is things going back to normal: it's too late for you now. what will happen is that your loved ones will leave you. they will think you're too much. they will recoil from this hunger in you, this part of you that wants to leave scorched earth behind, the part of you that has lost everything. you can't get vengeance. you think about it anyway. always. a humming in the back of your head. an unasked question -- what if? you want blood but also don't. so you temper yourself. when you stare at the sun, sometimes you tilt your head up for just a second too long. or when you're washing your hands -- you crank the water up as hot as it'll go, until you can't hold your hands underneath anymore. you hunt monsters to make sure you aren't one. you need to know you're still one of the good guys. you need to know that all this self-control has a point to it.

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flashborn​:

that makes a little more sense but at the same time, it doesn’t. barry has only ever met people that gained their powers from the particle accelerator explosion. that or… from another planet entirely, like kara. or a hero without powers, like oliver. it’s an interesting concept, though, that much is for sure. her powers activated at a certain age, rather than being given to her. she was always powerful, it just took a little while for them to manifest properly. “no,” he speaks softly, “no, i wasn’t. mine came from an accident that was, well, it wasn’t really an accident. it’s a really long story but the short of it is that no, i wasn’t born with them.”

the existence of mutants is still a secret, really. something hidden from the general public because they’re not ready to handle it yet. because xavier is trying to find the right way to announce it and nothing is yet coming of it. so they operate in secret. and now she’s seeing why cerebro hadn’t detected another mutant signature down here, cause the guy’s not a mutant. an accident, though, that she can believe. that happens all the time. look at hulk or spiderman. people are more accepting of the idea of toxic waste or nuclear accidents than they are of the idea they’re not the top of the evolutionary chain anymore. “ you fall into a vat of toxic waste or somethin’? ” she queries, but it’s obvious she’s teasing. “ happens all the time. ”

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bornice​:

          a nervous laugh escapes her lips   ,   heart beating heavy in her chest as anxiety overwhelms her     ―――     anxiety over her powers   ,   the fact that she still can’t get dinner without causing the next ice age   ,   the nervous giggle she regretted immediately     .     still   ,   it was kind of her to try and make her feel better   ,   and despite herself she found that it truly was reassuring   ,   in an odd sort of way   ,   to know she wasn’t the only one who had caused problems around here   ,   with or without powers     .

          her fingers curl in on themselves   ,   and she finds that she is worrying the sleeve of her sweater between the pads of her digits   ,   pulling at a loose thread there     .     but she is waiting for an answer   ,   and elsa looks down at the frozen table   ,   and the food that is getting colder by the second   ,   and nods     .

          ❛     o-okay     .     ❜          her words come out a little unsure     ,     she wants to say yes     ,     but she still feels so new around here            ―――           so VULNERABLE that the idea of hanging out with someone one to one is both exciting and terrifying     .     she picks up her plate   ,   and a new set of cutlery   ,   and steels herself to perform     .

     fear can only make things worse, she’s seen that a lot in kids that come through here. being scared of your powers is usually pretty detrimental. which sounds kind of hypocritical coming from her, but rogue feels like she gets a pass on this one. stealing lives from people, stealing their memories, their very souls- that’s scary. it’s dangerous. but aren’t most powers? elsa laughs, nervous, and rogue shrugs it off. it’s okay to be nervous, she reckons. 

     there’s a long pause, probably too long, as elsa considers the offer of going outside to eat and she doesn’t even sound sure of herself when she finally agrees, but she’s agreed. rogue smiles and nods, curling her own cutlery into one hand and her plate with the other. 

     “ let’s go. ” she heads for the door, nudging it open with her elbow and checking quickly for any potential collision courses (jamie loves to run around the halls and will catch you off guard if you’re not careful). she slips from the room, out towards the back, to the patio and the pool. she settles onto a bench. it’s cooler than she might have liked, but that’s her southern blood. she’ll take warm over cold any day. the sky is pink and orange over the bay, just like she’d thought. the sun gently lowering itself over the horizon. 

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@decimater​ sent [  shield  ] sender  steps  between  receiver  and  danger 

       “ oh no you don’t, ” one hand reaches out to grasp the back of zeke’s shirt as he steps forward, as if she can’t see him angling to be in the way the second this all goes to hell in a handbasket- and it is about to go to hell in a handbasket. “ i appreciate the concern, but i can handle myself just find, sugah, ” she releases his collar and reaches for her drink the same way some people might reach for a gun. she throws it back in one and stands up from the stool. “ c’mon, let’s go teach our friends some manners. ” the friends in question were leaning over a booth in the back of the bar where a couple had been trying to have a date. the problem: the guy had a tail. an opening for mutant haters everywhere to try and put the fear of god into some folks. “ you comin’? ” she asks zeke as she strolls her way towards the scene.  they want a scene? she’s going to make it one. 

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Rogue, from X-Men: Evolution (2000).

Source: THE_saintart on Twitter.

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nonverbal  meme  prompts ↪  they  seem  few  &  far  between,  so  i  tried  to  come  up  with  as  many  scenarios  as  i  could  think  of  where  dialogue  wasn’t  a  necessary  starting  point.  some  are  more  uh  specific  than  others  /  drabble-y,  but  they’re  all  dialogue-free  (  tho  ofc  this  does  not  necessarily  extend  to  the  response  itself  ).  to  reverse  who  sends  what,  send  ‘  [  prompt  ]+  ’  !  alter  any  as  you  see  fit,  &  lemme  know  if  anything’s  unclear  ♡

[  pull  ]  sender  pulls  receiver  closer  to  them

[  touch  ]  sender  places  their  hand  affectionately  on  receiver

[  guide  ]  sender  helps  receiver  through  a  difficult  video  game

[  lean  ]  sender  leans  on  receiver

[  pierce  ]  sender  helps  receiver  with  a  new  piercing  (  doing,  aftercare,  etc  )

[  sit  ]  sender  sits  in  receiver’s  lap

[  spar  ]  sender  pins  receiver  down  in  a  practice  fight

[  cook  ]  sender  makes  food  for  receiver

[  slide  ]  sender  pushes  an  item  across  the  table  to  receiver

[  kiss  ]  sender  kisses  (  lips,  cheek,  forehead,  hand,  etc  )

[  lead  ]  sender  leads  receiver  someplace

[  wound  ]  sender  injures  muse  in  a  fight  (  practice  or  real  )

[  snap  ]  sender  takes  a  photo  of  receiver  (  candid  or  posed  )

[  drape  ]  sender  drapes  their  arm  around  receiver’s  shoulders

[  bullet  ]  sender  takes  a  bullet  for  receiver  (  literal  or  figurative  )

[  nap  ]  sender  falls  asleep  against  receiver

[  teeth  ]  sender  bears  teeth  at  receiver

[  trace  ]  sender  traces  one  of  receiver’s  scars

[  cocktail  ]  sender  makes  /  gives  receiver  a  cocktail

[  comfort  ]  sender  comforts  receiver  when  they  are  upset  /  crying

[  bouquet  ]  sender  surprises  receiver  with  a  bouquet

[  massage  ]  sender  gives  receiver  a  massage  (  planned,  spontaneous,  full  body,  shoulder,  etc  )

[  mentor  ]  sender  takes  muse  under  their  wing

[  tattoo  ]  sender  helps  receiver  with  a  new  tattoo  (  doing,  aftercare,  etc  )

[  dare  ]  receiver  acts  out  a  dare  from  sender

[  hug  ]  sender  pulls  receiver  into  a  hug

[  phone  ]  receiver  sees  sender  smiling  at  something  on  their  phone

[  popcorn  ]  sender  makes  popcorn  for  a  movie  night

[  wake  ]  sender  tries  to  wake  receiver

[  groom  ]  sender  tries  to  make  receiver  look  more  presentable

[  flower  ]  sender  places  a  flower  behind  receiver’s  ear

[  sad  ]  sender  looks  at  receiver  sorrowfully

[  playlist  ]  sender  curates  a  playlist

[  fashion  show  ]  sender  tries  to  help  receiver  choose  an  outfit

[  shield  ]  sender  steps  between  receiver  and  danger

[  bandage  ]  sender  helps  bandage  up  receiver’s  wounds

[  duel  ]  muses  get  into  a  fight

[  fear  ]  sender  finds  receiver  having  a  nightmare

[  hold  ]  sender  holds  receiver’s  hand

[  bruise  ]  sender  finds  receiver  with  a  bruise  /  tries  to  help  receiver  cover  up  a  bruise

[  brush  ]  sender  brushes  /  styles  /  dyes  receiver’s  hair

[  portrait  ]  receiver  paints  a  portrait  of  receiver

[  assist  ]  sender  helps  the  receiver  with  a  task  they’re  struggling  in

[  wow  ]  sender  does  something  to  really  amaze  receiver

[  glare  ]  sender  is  still  hurt  after  an  argument

[  roast  ]  muses  roast  marshmallows  together  /  make  s’mores

[  shoot  ]  muses  attend  a  game  of  paintball

[  diary  ]  receiver  writes  a  journal  entry  about  sender  (  maybe  they  find  it  ?  )

[  dance  ]  sender  whisks  receiver  onto  to  ‘  dance  floor  ’  (  can  be  actual  or  pretend  )

[  rest  ]  sender  rests  their  chin  on  receiver’s  head  /  shoulder

[  manicure  ]  sender  paints  receiver’s  nails

[  tuck  ]  sender  tucks  in  receiver’s  shirt,  hair  behind  ear,  etc

[  chin  ]  sender  lifts  receiver’s  chin  up

[  lap  ]  sender  puts  their  feet  in  receiver’s  lap

[  write  ]  receiver  writes  sender  a  note

[  play  ]  muses  play  a  board  game  /  card  game  together

[  glance  ]  receiver  catches  sender  looking  at  them

[  ill  ]  sender  takes  care  of  receiver  when  they  are  unwell

[  hearth  ]  sender  lights  a  fire

[  tap  ]  sender  taps  receiver  on  the  shoulder

[  bake  ]  muses  bake  together

[  read  ]  sender  reads  to  receiver

[  study  ]  sender  tries  to  help  receiver  study

[  push  ]  sender  pushes  receiver  in  anger

[  skill  ]  receiver  tries  to  assist  sender  in  learning  a  new  skill

[  coated  ]  receiver  finds  sender  covered  in  blood

[  gesture  ]  sender  motions  for  receiver  to  follow  them

[  downpour  ]  receiver  finds  sender  out  in  the  rain

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whenever rogue says she wants to give up on something and someone (usually logan) says ‘that’s not the rogue i know’ my heart grows like four sizes. 

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tiderider​:

                    harry  would  be  the  first  to  admit  that  he  was  no  hero.  he  felt  no  inclination  to  sacrifice  himself  for  some  greater  good  or  fanciful  dream  of  a  better  world  through  kindness  and  compassion.  the  world  was  a  cruel  place,  and  the  people  in  it  always  had  the  capacity  for  cruelty,  harry  would  always  have  the  capacity  for  cruelty.  he  had  his  moments.  moments  of  softness  and  care,  but  those  were  things  reserved  only  for  a  select  few  and  yet,  when  he  heard  the  unmistakable  sound  of  gunfire  :  rather  than  run  in  the  opposite  direction,  he  ran  towards  it,  pace  quickened  as  the  sound  of  gunfire  was  followed  shortly  by  someone’s  cry  of  pain.

harry  skidded  across  the  pavement  as  he  found  himself  on  the  outskirts  of  the  aftermath.  four  bodies  unconscious  on  the  ground,  pavement  cracked  from  a  harsh  impact  and  woman  the  only  one  still  conscious.  dress  torn,  expression  stricken  into  one  of  pain,  but  talking.        "        sorry  i  missed  all  the  fun.        "        harry  said  conversationally  as  he  moved  forward  cautiously.  he  kicked  one  of  the  unconscious  men  as  if  to  make  sure  he  was  in  fact  unconscious.

                    he  usually  made  a  point  to  avoid  cops  or  really  any  members  of  authority,  but  she  looked  determined  and  if  it  meant  getting  a  few  friends  of  humanity  off  the  street  then  he  figured  one  phonecall  wouldn’t  hurt  as  long  as  he  wasn’t  expected  to  wait  around  to  make  any  statements.  he  pulled  his  burner  phone  from  his  pocket  and  dialed  the  emergency  number,        "        do  you  need  an  ambulance?        "        harry  asked  somewhat  skeptically  as  he  couldn’t  see  any  obvious  wounds.        "        you  look  a  little  banged  up.        "

the first few seconds after the transfer are the worst, where she struggles to remember her own name, or recognise that the thoughts aren’t hers. dirty muties. don’t belong with us normal folk. i’m a mutant and you’re gonna shut your mouth. it helps a little that the other voices, the usual suspects, are gonna help her suppress the hell out of this shit because most of them are mutants too and a lot of them don’t deal well with the bigotry. she becomes aware of herself quickly enough. her expression smooths out. she catches the man’s words as he walks towards her, carefully. she can’t blame him for that, she’d be careful too. “ plenty more roaches where they came from, sugar. ” 

for all she knows, he could be on their side. he could hate mutants as much as the next person. but if he swings at her now, he’s gonna regret it. she doesn’t fear him. he could pull a gun and she’ll simply be tired. “ they attacked a kid, ” she adds, so that even if he hates mutants he’ll understand why they’re the ones on the ground now. and why she’s not the bad guy, despite being the last one standing in what looks to be a very unfair fight. 

he queries whether she needs an ambulance and she laughs. “ nah, bullets and knives don’t exactly bother me. ” and she’s a pain to treat. an awful lot of medicine seems to come with a skin-to-skin contact risk that’s just too high for the likes of her. and usually when she knocks out a doctor, the rest are hesitant to treat her. “ but it looks like i gotta change. ” she picks at the holes in her dress. 

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bornice​:

                     ❛     are you okay   ?      ❜     elsa approaches the girl from behind   ,   footsteps light on the rooftop   .   cautious as she is   ,   the roof would not be her first choice of a place to hang out   ,   but having seen the other disappear here when upset   ,   she cannot help but follow   .    

                      remaining a customary few feet away from the girl   ,   she pulls her skirt to the backs of her thighs and sits down beside her   ,   hugging her knees to her chest   ,   resting her cheek on their tops     .     talking about ones feelings is not an easy feat   ,   she knows this well   ,   but should rogue feel so inclined   ,   she will listen     .

      she wonders if she caused a scene. she hadn’t meant to, but elsa’s presence here indicates that her absence had been notable enough for someone to come and find her. “ yeah, ” she answers, though her heart’s not really in it. lips purse slightly as a myriad of thoughts run through her head. 

    elsa sits down, a few feet away. an invisible barrier between them. it’s more prominent than ever. she picks at a fraying patch of thread on her jeans. “ i just couldn’t stick around. kitty ‘n’ jean- ” have dates, are preparing to go out for the evening. it’s more than anyone can handle. she respects the hell out of those boys for trying. “ and it’s not like i even wanna go to the dazzler concert, i don’t like crowds. but- still feels like i’m missin’ somethin’. ”

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LET ME ASSIGN YOU A LOVE LANGUAGE

a knife called grief

You have left your house, you have left those people behind, but what are you going to do about the memories which have taken root in you? You can run but not without them. You want someone to sit with you on this cool marble floor while the sun burns everything. You want them to cut your rotten heart and theirs too. You want to sit with it in front of you, let them see you with all your flaws, which haven’t been your fault but you have been made to believe so, and you want them to love you anyways. Because you know you’d do that for them.

tagged by @belovedstars

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Date meme.

Date with Rogue. Date Fee: $23.83 Customer Comments: "I think… I've fallen in love♡ (Male in 30s)"

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i think it would be very cool of disney to put x-men evolution on uk disney plus. for me, as a birthday treat. pls. 

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belovedstars​:

@tchstrved sent: “ i think i forgot what human contact felt like. ” ( touch-starved )​

he smiles softly at the girl, her hand in his. he runs his thumb over the back of it, gently, kindly. it’s a small gesture, but it’s something he’s happy to be able to give. “i’m afraid i can’t quite give you that, but i hope a synthezoid’s touch can suffice.”

her body sure as hell doesn’t seem to mind that his hands aren’t flesh, his thumb easing over the back of her bare hand and the tension that tightens in her chest ebbs quickly when nothing happens, no pain, no coma, no memories or voices that aren’t hers (more so than usual). “ i didn’t mean- ” well, she hadn’t thought that he might take umbrage at being referred to as human. for her ‘human’ is a bracket that involves anything from walking tech to giant monsters, so long as there’s a person inside of there. “ it’s more’n enough, thank ya. ”