teapotturret

[teapotturret]

pleasewhen will i just be ok

[teapotturret]

icsnt do this anymore i csnt icant i cant andi dont want to.

[teapotturret]

when does it get beneficial because ive been feeling a lot more suicidal recently

[teapotturret]

my friends dont care to hear any of this. so whats a better place to ramble but here.

ive been crying on and off almost every day, ive been having dreams about him. its not going all that great for me. i feel like im getting worse, i keep thinking maybe i should just try to off myself again like i did the night it happened. i dont know honestly. today i think i've gone back in my progress, i vomited and cried. i broke down in the kitchen but had to pull my shit together. i cried myself to sleep and only slept for 4 hours. idk man i really just wish i could feel okay about things, and i wish i wasnt so affected by this. its hard, and i feel like im getting through this by myself, all my friends dont even care that much, they think im overreacting. idk anymore i just hope by the end of this i'll be either dead or okay.

[teapotturret]

motherfucker ive been crying every day

[teapotturret]

i dont care if he sees this.

i cannot stop sobving my fucking eyes out. i want my baby back. i want to be stable. i couldve been socmuch better. i know its over. i know th-lat. vut im cligning onto the very thin hope i have left. outside of that he was mlre than my partner. hes my fp. my only sense of stability left in my miserable world, the only one who jusy knowsbwhat i need to hear, the only one who would probablt be proud of me for being able to hold down at least one mealnfor once instead of vomiting it out. hes not entirely gone, we're still friends. its not all that bad but regardless it feels like i was just taken out back and brutally murdered.

i'll wait and wait and wait and wait and wait but i dont know if hes gonna come back. i dont know how long it'll take but rhats just fine, the only thing keeping me alive is that slim chance.

i jusy want to be his again. i want to iwant to i wannrit so bad but i cant always get what i want and i hatr tjay fact. why whyw hwhwhwhwywhy hes all i feel like i had going for me . hes all i think and talk ablout now. ive been so miserable.

i downed severalxpainkillrs jisy hoping i could take the numbness and just lau in bed and try to sleep quietly even for a bit, but i cant even lay on my pillow knowing that i used to wish it was him. it feels much colder. i dont know what else to do anymore. my own bed is all that reminds me of him. everything does.

i would love to do so much more like draw to get my mind off things but i cant get my hands to be stable for once and i just cnat. iwould bake in hopes that i'll just feel so much better but its no use at all. i cant play shit without bursting into a sob. hell i cant even stop and think for too long. i cant look at my favorite album without crying, i cant look at myself. i cant look at my scars, i just cant. i just want him back. thats all. i know hes not gone. but i just want my everything back.

im scared im gonna be left alone again, im scared hes gonna drift away and hate me. and i dont want rhat to happen.

thats all. im gonna try to take a nap once more. sorry for the rant. i know im just being dramatic.

[teapotturret]

im alive.. ive just been abundances more active on tiktok (ppalmfreak)

[teapotturret]

hello

[teapotturret]

Our parents are cutting our phone line I think someones head will end up on a skewer

[teapotturret]

I WANT TO GO HOME AND LOCK THE FUCK IN ON SONIC. IM ACHING AND I AM ITCHY

[teapotturret]

telamon based

[teapotturret]

I FEEL LIKE I AM DYING I BEG OF YOU ALL DO NOT DRINK IN AN AREA THAT FEELS DRY AS HELL

hit with a double combo of vomiting and having nosebleeds what the fuck man

[teapotturret]

hit with a double combo of vomiting and having nosebleeds what the fuck man

[teapotturret]

i want this guy to get off my fucking back. no i wont tell you i love you. no i dont like you. no i dont wanna match anything with you. no im not gonna tell you my fucking school schedule. no i dont want to even be around you. you dont need to know who my best friend is.no im not gonna spend money on you. leave me alone.

[teapotturret]

theyre gonna get me..

[teapotturret]

007n7 drawing, cw for implied suicide under the cut

[teapotturret]

clockwork and doombringer doodle yayayayay