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teardrophand · 2 months ago

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GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS @milgram-en

kajiyama fuuta does not feel remorse for his actions

okay. this is gonna be an extremely long post so bear with me

the idea that fuuta is like super duper remorseful for his crime in t2 is thrown around by this fandom sooo much to the point where it rly seems like his entire voting period in t2 was based on it. which is like. frustrating. because what's actually written for him is way more interesting than that but people don't acknowledge it at all... people are so quick to assume the best of him (because they like him on a surface level), assume that his intentions were wholly pure and that he only got swept up in the thrill of everything and took things too far without meaning to. but that's like a hugeeee misinterpretation and i don't rly know how it became so widespread

i went back through and read thru everything relating to his t2 case and the only way you can view it as if he's really sorry is if you approach it with a very shallow view of fuuta as a character and take the things he says and does purely at face value, which i guess. a lot of people do. i get the sense that a lot of people interpret him the way they do because they want him to be forgiveable, or because of their own personal feelings on the case leading them to believe it's not that bad of an offence. but the text itself doesn't offer any indication that he's actually sorry

like. okay sure. there are specific ways you can interpret the text to support the idea that he’s really sorry and just avoids saying it outright. you can absolutely read between the lines to make a case for that… but in doing so you’re just outright ignoring what’s on the actual lines. you can find roundabout ways to assume that he feels remorse, but that interpretation actively contradicts what he actually says and does, especially when held up against the rest of his character.

i'll shortly address backdraft, though there isn't really much for me to say about it (in comparison to the amount of thoughts i have on other material from trial 2). it depicts him aacting cruelly towards his targets, as well as displays his resentment towards those who were forgiven when he himself was not. towards the end is when we see him as he watches his victim suffocate as a result of his own actions, then turn and run as his own hands turn to stone, ended by es spraying him with their own spray can after he collapses.

to me that fear doesn't really equate to actual regret for his actions, especially considering he runs away. of course it's hard to witness the horrible things that have happened as a result of your own actions, but he runs. he avoids the truth at all costs, and we see this in the voice drama where he's already deflected blame and tried to drag others (namely es) down to his own level. the mv can be interpreted any number of ways so it's hard to make a definitive statement on what exactly it means, becaue it could mean a lot of things and we can't be fully certain what's intended. i'm not really interested in arguing over the 'correct' interpretation of the mv either so i'll leave it at this.

what i actually want to focus on is his voice drama, baptism of fire, i’ll try to address these events in the proper order but i’ll only be highlighting the most important points here. this isn’t a comprehensive summary of the voice drama in any way.

starting off with a section where fuuta claims that the two of them (himself and ed) are similar. his argument for why he should be forgiven depends on this idea that him and es are the same. and on a surface level, that's true. they both decided not to forgive someone they found unforgivable, and their choice to do so brought about unintended and severe consequences that they couldn’t have anticipated. he even implies he might be more morally sound than es because he was never violent against the person he killed.

Fuuta: I'm in the same boat as you, and yet-and yet- You didn't forgive me, did you!?

What did I do? All I did was say that what's wrong is wrong!

ES: …

Fuuta: I was just going off at a bad person online!

I didn't even take it as far as to be violent towards them, unlike what you're doing right now!

(baptism of fire, 4:21-4:41)

—and he says that if mahiru had died, he and es would be in the exact same situation. but of course, that’s completely ridiculous, when you stop for 2 seconds and consider the fact that es is 15 serving as the warden for several murderers who they’re expected to judge without any alternate options presented vs fuuta who took it upon himself to harass and cyberbully a child as a way of making himself feel like a good person. but that’s obvious:

Es: ...Don't make a fool of me.

Fuuta: Huh?

Es: I've seen it! The way you got amusement out of your actions like it was just a game!

The way you agitated the crowd and unilaterally trampled against the opponent! That, being the same as me?!

Fuuta: ...!

Es: You've got to be kidding. I am the Guard of MILGRAM, the one who judges your sins.

It's not just you and Mahiru - l've faced all ten of you prisoners with my own life.

Don't lump me in with someone like you, who used someone's sins for cheap entertainment!

(baptism of fire, 6:54-7:04)

even after es says this, he tries to claim that they do use the sins of the prisoners are entertainment, and references the voices in his head. aka, the voices of the audience, and their methods of judging him. he assumes they’re es’ thoughts (keep the favt that he assumes it’s es’ voice in mind— it’ll come up again in a moment) and tries to use that to reinforce his claim that they are the same.

one minor (but interesting!) thing to note in this exchange:

Fuuta: (Laughter) There's nothing that sets you and me apart.

You're also getting entertainment out of my– out of our sins!

(baptism of fire, 8:54-9:03)

his immediate instinct is only to protect himself, but he then corrects himself from “my” to “our” as a way of making his cause seem like more than it is. he wants to seem better, like he’s not self-centered, like he’s thinking of how unfair it is all the prisoners when he makes this claim… you can imagine how he made this slip in person. usually, he can retype a tweet before he sends it to make it sound better 🙂

he depends on that surface level interpretation of their respective situations because he needs a way to make himself feel better. he can’t be the one in the wrong. hes clinging onto any excuse he can make for himself because he can’t bear the weight of his actions. it would wreck him completely. everything he did online, everything that lead up to this case, was done with the intention of propping up his own morality and inflating his own ego, and and this is where he ended up. and he hates that more than anything.

es (obviously) shuts that idea down, and this is when fuuta starts begging. he even actually says the words “i’m sorry”… but not before first offering to forgive es for what they’ve done, too. he frames it as if he’s doing something gracious:

Fuuta: Listen— I'll forgive you for what you've done too, I'll accept this pain... So-

Please. Forgive me, I'm begging you...!

(baptism of fire, 10:57-11:05)

and after this, he apologises.. to es, not his victim. of course, his victim is not present because she is dead, and would have no way of hearing a hypothetical apology whether he said it or not. but look at the way he words this:

Fuuta: The feeling of getting judged by countless people at once is the worst, too…

I can't sleep, feeling like the whole world is watching me!

I'm tired of everything hurting and being difficult! Please...! I'M SO SORRY, ES!!

(baptism of fire 11:22-11:40)

everything he mentions is directly related to the consequences he’s experiencing: the feeling of being judged, of being watched, not being able to sleep. being in pain and finding things difficult— these are all things that happened because he was unforgiven. he doesn’t express any guilt or regret for his victim or her living family. it has nothing to do with what he did to her, and everything to do with what happened to him as a result.

remember when i said to keep in mind he thinks the voices in his head belong to es? he states some of the things they gave for judging him the way they did—“Just for interest, just for fun, just because they don't like me” …to me, this reads very much like he’s apologising to es because he wants to be someone who can be forgiven by them. making a desperate appeal to be more liked by them because he wants to be forgiven. he has no intention of apologising to the people he actually hurt, or even really thinking about them. he only wants to apologise to the person who he thinks can save him from being in pain. that’s all he wants. he wants to be relieved of the pain he feels, both physically and mentally. to him, the physical pain is terrible, but it’s also agonising to be seen as a “bad” person. (npd fuuta truthers rise up 💯🙏)

in response to this breakdown, es explains to him that they don’t have any ill will towards him or any of the other prisoners. that they’re even starting to think of them as “something of comrades”. they say it’s a pity that they’re the guard, thank him for helping them realise that their role requires resolve, tell him that his pain won’t allow him to evade justice. one interesting thing about this is while they’re explaining all of this to him, they say this:

Es: Either way, I have yet to figure out what the relationship between your current, hurt self and the crime that you committed is.

(baptism of fire, 13:03-13:10)

straight up stating that his actual feelings towards his crime itself are still unclear. as of trial 2 it’s only possible to discern how he feels towards the pain itself.

after this, they acknowledge his lack of a proper apology (? this is unclear to me. i’ve heard it mentioned that what es says here is badly mistranslated, but i haven’t been able to find a verifiable correction for what it should actually say. so im at a bit of a loss here and don’t have much to say only since i believe i’m working with incomplete information, but if if i can find a good translation i may update this post at some point ☺️)

what sets fuuta off into threatening es’s life is their statement that they have to make their judgements even when the subject of those judgements breaks down in front of them. he lashes out and gets angry with them… which is something you probably wouldn’t do if you were genuinely sorry. of course, it’s not that this is a “wrong” way to react inherently (actually, it IS 100% wrong to threaten a child like that no matter the scenario, but i mean that him being angry isn’t necessarily the problem here) but it’s what sets it off that sets off a red flag to me. because it’s clear he still believes he’s in the right. he wants to be validated in his believe that he’s innocent, not actually forgiven for what he’s done wrong. in his mind, he hasn’t done anything wrong. he wants the pain to stop. which isn’t remorse. not at all

like here i will reiterate the fact that he threatened to kill es. this exchange stands out to me a LOT:

Fuuta: Es! Es!!

….YOUUUUU…..!!! I'LL KILL YOU!

Es: Heh.

Fuuta: ARE YOU LISTENING, YOU BASTARD?!

FORGIVE ME!

IF YOU DON'T FORGIVE ME, I'LL KILL YOU, Y'KNOWWWWW!!!

(baptism of fire, 13:47-14:06)

—because it’s hardly acknowledged by anyone??? even though it feels extremely important. he’s set off this badly by es simply explaining why that they have to continue and why.

and this threat wasn't taken seriously at all with good reason of course, the most obvious being that he can't actually hurt es at all even if he tried. the barrier would stop him like it always has. and even if he could physically attack them, it's pretty clear that he's not a physically strong enough person. not only is the weakest of all the boys according to yamanaka, but considering all the injuries he sustained after kotoko's attack, it's safe to say he's in no actual condition to actually hurt anybody. he's all talk.

…and on an objective level we know this. but fuuta...? it's not like he's saying these things knowing that they're empty threats, with only the intention of expressing his frustration or something. he just doesn't think like that, especially in the heat of the moment, in this situation where he’s been so incredibly emotional the entire time. in his mind, if he was given a reason to, he could kill es. he fully believes that he could if he really wanted to. he’s a 20 year old man, saying that he’s going to kill a 15 year old. of course he thinks he could do it, given a reason, given an opportunity. why wasn’t this taken seriously? not as an actual danger to es, but as an indication of his character? he’s threatening to kill another person, a child who’s probably about the same age as his actual victim, even though he claims to be sorry for what he did??? he knows killcheroy was a child, because he saw her photos and tracked down her school.

it’s just… absolutely ridiculous behaviour. to read all of this and interpret any amount of it as him being genuinely sorry is all confirmation bias. it’s wishful thinking.

i’ve said this befote, that fuuta doesn’t feel any genuine remorse, over on twitter albeit without any of the elaboration from above because of the character limit over there. and a response i got at the time was along the lines of “he joined a cult because the guilt was too much for him and he wanted to become a better person” and i’ll address that quickly because it does seem to be a growing sentiment now that trial 3 has been set into motion.

he did not join the cult out of any genuine desire to improve as a person. he joined the cult because it validated him. he’s being forgiven by religion, he feels like he can be a “good” person if he followings the teachings of the cult. that’s all it is. he so immediately adopts amane’s beliefs into his own mindset, even in trial 2 he was going around saying awful stuff to people, like telling haruka he was an “idiot” for choosing to kill himself instead of letting himself be saved. (!! keep this interaction in mind for a little bit) in the most recent timeline conversation, he pleads with yuno to come be saved with him. this interaction highlights another important part of his characterisation. when yuno says she doesn’t want to be saved by someone else, he responds:

Fuuta: ......why not?

It's pointless to carry it all and die.

To live in this world, we need hope, and companions who forgive each other!

Otherwise-

(19/04/2025, fuuta’s birthday)

it’s long since been known about fuuta that he thrives on community and acceptance. a huge part of his case is the idea of “mob mentality,” it’s one of the biggest contributing factors to killcheroy’s death. he needs to be surrounded by like-minded people so that he can feel validated, especially in his current environment. even though he was forgiven, that’s not exactly what he wanted to begin with. if he’s surrounded by people who think the same way as him, it’ll make him feel better.

now i won’t take an entirely cynical approach to this timeline conversation. i’ll acknowledge the fact that he said this in part because he probably wants other people to be relieved of suffering in the same way he was— this is probably his conscious motivation for going around talking to people like he does. if you asked him, this is the explanation he’d give. but don’t forget the earlier interaction with haruka that i mentioned.

Fuuta: —Hey, are you really okay with that? If you come with me, you might also be saved you know...... Haruka.

Haruka: Yeah...... since l already made a decision. I, have something that I must do.

Fuuta: Ahh, is that so...... Hey, Haruka, you truly are an idiot. If that's the case, you won't be able to be saved.

(19/04/2024, fuuta’s birthday)

he’s so unwelcome to perspectives other than his own. yes, these interactions take place a full year apart in our time, but i find it hard to believe he’s doing anything but putting on a show for yuno. he’s become more adapted to amane’s way of thinking, but the insensitive, abrasive person we see in the interaction with haruka is always who he’s been. he hasn’t given us any reason to believe that this change is anything beyond self-serving. because even though he’s not as rude to yuno, he still pushes back and tries to make a case for her to join the cult. he says “why not?” and tries to explain to her why she needs this, then gets cut off before he was going to say something clearly intended to pressure or frighten into joining his way of thinking. whatever he would’ve said probably would’ve been some kind of fearmongering (and i honestly to have to give him some props how well he takes to being a super religious person just instantly. that’s lowkey impressive) it’s just… not a good thing no matter how you look at it.

soo the conclusion to this very long post is simply that fuuta does not feel remorse the way people seem to think he does. that’s all. i wanted to provide a lot of explanation because people usually don’t like it when i just state that conclusion outright, but i have a lot of reasons for thinking it and i feel pretty strongly about his character in this aspect (obviously) lol

for the record i stil like fuuta in spite of every mean thing i just said about him. he is my overall top 3 🙏 this is just an analysis. i am not a fuuta hater. smile heart sparkle star. thank you

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teardrophand · 2 months ago

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*finally got an update wrt: that line in baptism of fire that was weirdly translate which made it difficult to understand

for full clarification, the translation that's currently on the wiki reads as follows (this coming after fuuta apologises to es):

Es: Of course, I can't blame you for not having words of apology to say to the person you killed.

Fuuta: ...!

Es: But if you apologize to me about things that happened in the past – it's not like I care.

And directly following this is Fuuta's threat to kill Es. thanks to @/batmeoows in the milgram stanclub discord server, i now have clarification that what this line is actually getting at is es saying they'll consider the fact that he has no apology for his victim. when he apologises, it's directly to es:

Fuuta: Please...! I'M SO SORRY, ES!!

(baptism of fire, 11:35-11:40)

-with no regard for his victim. so here, es is saying that they'll take that fact into consideration. which is what sets him off so badly. there's not mucht to be said about this since it pretty much speaks for itself... when it's acknowledged and pointed out that he's only apologising to es, and not to the person he hurt, he lashes out and gets extremely angry. instead of his words being taken at face value and his apology accepted, es is criticising him. he desperately tries to insist that they're wrong about his apology, but does nothing to actually indicate that. he wants es to believe he's sorry or whatever else he thinks will get him forgiven, but he doesn't actually believe it. if he did, he would've... said literally anything to make it seem that way. he's trying to act like someone forgiveable, but those aren't actually his beliefs, so of course they kinda fall flat in the fact of actual acknowledgement for what he's saying.

i couldve added this in to the original post but it ended up being a longer addendum than i expected so i figured i'd just tack it on down here rather than break up the flow of the original post :P that's all though! just wanted to add this on since having this post be somewhat 'unfinished' was bothering me...

kajiyama fuuta does not feel remorse for his actions

okay. this is gonna be an extremely long post so bear with me

Fuuta: I'm in the same boat as you, and yet-and yet- You didn't forgive me, did you!?

What did I do? All I did was say that what's wrong is wrong!

ES: …

Fuuta: I was just going off at a bad person online!

I didn't even take it as far as to be violent towards them, unlike what you're doing right now!

(baptism of fire, 4:21-4:41)

Es: ...Don't make a fool of me.

Fuuta: Huh?

Es: I've seen it! The way you got amusement out of your actions like it was just a game!

The way you agitated the crowd and unilaterally trampled against the opponent! That, being the same as me?!

Fuuta: ...!

Es: You've got to be kidding. I am the Guard of MILGRAM, the one who judges your sins.

It's not just you and Mahiru - l've faced all ten of you prisoners with my own life.

Don't lump me in with someone like you, who used someone's sins for cheap entertainment!

(baptism of fire, 6:54-7:04)

one minor (but interesting!) thing to note in this exchange:

Fuuta: (Laughter) There's nothing that sets you and me apart.

You're also getting entertainment out of my– out of our sins!

(baptism of fire, 8:54-9:03)

Fuuta: Listen— I'll forgive you for what you've done too, I'll accept this pain... So-

Please. Forgive me, I'm begging you...!

(baptism of fire, 10:57-11:05)

Fuuta: The feeling of getting judged by countless people at once is the worst, too…

I can't sleep, feeling like the whole world is watching me!

I'm tired of everything hurting and being difficult! Please...! I'M SO SORRY, ES!!

(baptism of fire 11:22-11:40)

Es: Either way, I have yet to figure out what the relationship between your current, hurt self and the crime that you committed is.

(baptism of fire, 13:03-13:10)

straight up stating that his actual feelings towards his crime itself are still unclear. as of trial 2 it’s only possible to discern how he feels towards the pain itself.

like here i will reiterate the fact that he threatened to kill es. this exchange stands out to me a LOT:

Fuuta: Es! Es!!

….YOUUUUU…..!!! I'LL KILL YOU!

Es: Heh.

Fuuta: ARE YOU LISTENING, YOU BASTARD?!

FORGIVE ME!

IF YOU DON'T FORGIVE ME, I'LL KILL YOU, Y'KNOWWWWW!!!

(baptism of fire, 13:47-14:06)

—because it’s hardly acknowledged by anyone??? even though it feels extremely important. he’s set off this badly by es simply explaining why that they have to continue and why.

it’s just… absolutely ridiculous behaviour. to read all of this and interpret any amount of it as him being genuinely sorry is all confirmation bias. it’s wishful thinking.

Fuuta: ......why not?

It's pointless to carry it all and die.

To live in this world, we need hope, and companions who forgive each other!

Otherwise-

(19/04/2025, fuuta’s birthday)

Fuuta: —Hey, are you really okay with that? If you come with me, you might also be saved you know...... Haruka.

Haruka: Yeah...... since l already made a decision. I, have something that I must do.

Fuuta: Ahh, is that so...... Hey, Haruka, you truly are an idiot. If that's the case, you won't be able to be saved.

(19/04/2024, fuuta’s birthday)

for the record i stil like fuuta in spite of every mean thing i just said about him. he is my overall top 3 🙏 this is just an analysis. i am not a fuuta hater. smile heart sparkle star. thank you

#milgram #fuuta kajiyama #milgram fuuta #milgram project #milgram analysis

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teardrophand · 3 months ago

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When I say a character has done nothing wrong, I say it with whimsy and humor in my heart. When some of you say it, I fear you truly believe it

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teardrophand · 3 months ago

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I hate the met galla. None of those people are important to me. My horsey is important to me.

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teardrophand · 3 months ago

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i wanted to post something about mahiru, but i feel like everything i wanted to say about her is already understood by everyone on this app, the only people dumb enough to not understand those very basic aspects of her character are all on twitter rn so it’s kind of pointless

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teardrophand · 3 months ago

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kajiyama fuuta does not feel remorse for his actions

okay. this is gonna be an extremely long post so bear with me

Fuuta: I'm in the same boat as you, and yet-and yet- You didn't forgive me, did you!?

What did I do? All I did was say that what's wrong is wrong!

ES: …

Fuuta: I was just going off at a bad person online!

I didn't even take it as far as to be violent towards them, unlike what you're doing right now!

(baptism of fire, 4:21-4:41)

Es: ...Don't make a fool of me.

Fuuta: Huh?

Es: I've seen it! The way you got amusement out of your actions like it was just a game!

The way you agitated the crowd and unilaterally trampled against the opponent! That, being the same as me?!

Fuuta: ...!

Es: You've got to be kidding. I am the Guard of MILGRAM, the one who judges your sins.

It's not just you and Mahiru - l've faced all ten of you prisoners with my own life.

Don't lump me in with someone like you, who used someone's sins for cheap entertainment!

(baptism of fire, 6:54-7:04)

one minor (but interesting!) thing to note in this exchange:

Fuuta: (Laughter) There's nothing that sets you and me apart.

You're also getting entertainment out of my– out of our sins!

(baptism of fire, 8:54-9:03)

Fuuta: Listen— I'll forgive you for what you've done too, I'll accept this pain... So-

Please. Forgive me, I'm begging you...!

(baptism of fire, 10:57-11:05)

Fuuta: The feeling of getting judged by countless people at once is the worst, too…

I can't sleep, feeling like the whole world is watching me!

I'm tired of everything hurting and being difficult! Please...! I'M SO SORRY, ES!!

(baptism of fire 11:22-11:40)

Es: Either way, I have yet to figure out what the relationship between your current, hurt self and the crime that you committed is.

(baptism of fire, 13:03-13:10)

straight up stating that his actual feelings towards his crime itself are still unclear. as of trial 2 it’s only possible to discern how he feels towards the pain itself.

like here i will reiterate the fact that he threatened to kill es. this exchange stands out to me a LOT:

Fuuta: Es! Es!!

….YOUUUUU…..!!! I'LL KILL YOU!

Es: Heh.

Fuuta: ARE YOU LISTENING, YOU BASTARD?!

FORGIVE ME!

IF YOU DON'T FORGIVE ME, I'LL KILL YOU, Y'KNOWWWWW!!!

(baptism of fire, 13:47-14:06)

—because it’s hardly acknowledged by anyone??? even though it feels extremely important. he’s set off this badly by es simply explaining why that they have to continue and why.

it’s just… absolutely ridiculous behaviour. to read all of this and interpret any amount of it as him being genuinely sorry is all confirmation bias. it’s wishful thinking.

Fuuta: ......why not?

It's pointless to carry it all and die.

To live in this world, we need hope, and companions who forgive each other!

Otherwise-

(19/04/2025, fuuta’s birthday)

Fuuta: —Hey, are you really okay with that? If you come with me, you might also be saved you know...... Haruka.

Haruka: Yeah...... since l already made a decision. I, have something that I must do.

Fuuta: Ahh, is that so...... Hey, Haruka, you truly are an idiot. If that's the case, you won't be able to be saved.

(19/04/2024, fuuta’s birthday)

for the record i stil like fuuta in spite of every mean thing i just said about him. he is my overall top 3 🙏 this is just an analysis. i am not a fuuta hater. smile heart sparkle star. thank you

#milgram #fuuta kajiyama #milgram fuuta #milgram project #milgram analysis #this is my first time making a proper post on tumblr idk how tf to tag pls go easy on me

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