teatimewithmrdarcy

[teatimewithmrdarcy]

Never let this die, this is gold 🤣

I’ll never not be amused by the fact that I can drop the words “crucifix nail nipples” into a conversation and some of you who have been with me since the livejournal days will join me in the flashbacks, screaming and crying all the way.

[teatimewithmrdarcy]

Christmas & January Socks 🧦✨️🧶 #knitting #knitsocks #januaryknits #christmasknits https://www.instagram.com/p/CnmU3GWthjMJSVsY5a-lkeDhy2KqXMMKwTNTiw0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[teatimewithmrdarcy]

#ouran highschool host club #austria

That post about death note being "everyone's first anime" (untrue statement) made me curious and now I want to gather data for science

Can you reblog this and tell me where are you from and what was your starter anime?

[teatimewithmrdarcy]

Today's Adventure is that I, after an unintentional 13-hour power nap,

Got woken up at 6AM by a phone call from a friend stranded in Montana because of the heat wave and almost no cell service because of their crap provider.

OhSoThat'sHowIt'sGonnaBe.jpg

Ok.

I somehow summon a week's worth of spoons and in less than 30 minutes and 5 phone calls, get them

A hotel

An appointment with a mechanic from 2 states away

A perscription refilled from 2 states away

and A Pizza

Go me.

But then it's 8AM and there are unscheduled live humans at the door and while EVERGENCY MODE is still on, I have already blown through a ton of spoons, and also probably shouldn't meet whoever it is wearing just a pair of bootyshorts that say "CRYPTID" in Gothic Font on my ass.

So I greet them in those shorts and a T-shirt that I manage to put on both inside out and backwards

#nailedit

It is, Fortunately, not the mormons.

it is, Unfortunately, two UPS guys trying to deliver my other in-house friend's new phone except the new guy doesn't know how to operate the "sign for package" device, and the old guy that's supposed to be mentoring him is like, 92, deaf as a post, and doesn't actually know how to operate the device either.

by the way

it is already

over 100 out

it takes almost 30 minutes to sign for the phone

when i get back inside, i discover that apparently the Corgi has learned how to open his kennel from the inside because he is now out of the kennel and waiting for me to come in.

he also has cat litter all over his face because while he was waiting for me he also learned how to open the baby gate to the cat's room and help himself to a cat shit breakfast.

He'll be fine

He's a cattle dog, they're legally required to have at least 1 really disgusting snack they love.

but

more to the point

i have no idea at what point he learned to open his kennel from the inside

has he been staying there out of politeness this whole time??

And

I got other shit to do today.

namely.

I'm seeing a realator

The Devils most pathetic yet effective demons

I get a reminder text that I have an appointment with her

at least

I think that's what it is because what she sends me is: "🏡⏰12:00 ❔"

With the time typed in the middle like that.

She is, according to her profile, at least 80.

so I reply "😎👍"

and then she sends me a string of GODDAMN POST-MODERN EMOJI HEIROGLYPHICS THAT TAKE UP MY ENTIRE SCREEN.

She's on an iPhone so half of them don't even translate across platforms

It takes me half an hour and three different software programs and goddamn wingdings to translate, but she has sent me the address and rules about masking and not wearing shoes inside.

in emoji

instead of like

literally any other format

I am

FASCINATED

and simply must meet the woman so if I don't come back to update I got stolen by the fairies but I'm taking the Corgi with me as protection so I'll see y'all later.

[teatimewithmrdarcy]

Pride and Prejudice Go

An app that shows you where there’s a young man in possession of a good fortune who must be in want of a wife

[teatimewithmrdarcy]

Yes, media sets unrealistic body standards for men and woman alike ... but can we talk about the unrealistic standards set for the state my flat is supposed to be in, in case the police were to investigate a murder mystery next door? Spotless, minimalistic, perfectly neat interior at all times who? Try to find my alibi in between several, precariouly perched paper stacks on my desk, next to *the chair* (TM) or right underneath the post-it block that somehow made its way inside my fridge.

[teatimewithmrdarcy]

🧵

[teatimewithmrdarcy]

Fitzwilliam Darcy’s inner struggles:  1/? 

/ next

[teatimewithmrdarcy]

Can someone please explain to me what evaporated milk is? Wouldn’t that just be gas by definition? I live in constant fear

[teatimewithmrdarcy]

My christmas socks for 2021 🌲🧦🧶

[teatimewithmrdarcy]

Hey you.

[teatimewithmrdarcy]

and all the final beasts, together

[teatimewithmrdarcy]

I’ll never not be amused by the fact that I can drop the words “crucifix nail nipples” into a conversation and some of you who have been with me since the livejournal days will join me in the flashbacks, screaming and crying all the way.

[teatimewithmrdarcy]

Writing period dramas in the discord, lads

[teatimewithmrdarcy]

Bones and Pokemon ... so, necromancer fight club? 😅

[teatimewithmrdarcy]

Now this is what I'm talking about 👌

i just discovered this wilkinson sword ad, and it is basically #myaesthetic 😘

[teatimewithmrdarcy]

Me and shipping presented by Barbossa:

My ship: *in the middle of a heated argument*

Me:

My ship: *Share a single heartwarming scene*

Me:

My ship: *Don’t interact for a whole season/film*

Me:

The producers: *Trying to stop the fans from shipping it*

Me, with the rest of the fandom:

The actors: *Supporting the ship even though the producers aren’t*

Me: