there should be a socially acceptable way to say "im not sure what to say to that. can you say something different"
4K notes
·
View notes
motherfucker said PROFESSIONAL
146K notes
·
View notes
Bothering the beast
158K notes
·
View notes
i too have a pressing question: why are straights like this
152K notes
·
View notes
Uh Oh, The One Other Guy Having The Same Problem As You Got Zero Replies To His Post On Reddit That He Made 5 Years Ago
16K notes
·
View notes
way to take the romance out of it
1K notes
·
View notes
i hate these guys sm
370 notes
·
View notes
Rice Krispies smartest decision is by far their Treat. Turning their cereal into a strange brick relies on the natural fact that all children are hopelessly dependent upon the ingot.
65K notes
·
View notes
34K notes
·
View notes
i was cuddling with my boyfriend last night when his shoulder started tensing up (like he was readjusting or gently pushing me off) and when i asked him if he was okay or needed me to move or something he went “no you’re fine, i was just imagining myself pulling a large rope. i didn’t even realize my shoulder was doing that lmao” then refused to elaborate and i have never been as attracted to him as i was in that moment.
21K notes
·
View notes
my mom, dead in the middle of a conversation, slams on the breaks in the middle of a country road so she can pull over and take a picture of all these cows running for cover from the rain and adsfkjlfkdjg and thi dskfjfgj
138K notes
·
View notes
im starting to think you guys dont like it when stories make you feel things
19K notes
·
View notes
28K notes
·
View notes
All you need in life is a color picker willing to expose you to the unbounded madness we call color vision.
me, absolutely clueless: "I want a color just like this one, but in red"
color picker: Fuck you think you are, a Mantis Shrimp? Don't talk to me again until you can afford a wide gamut monitor.
28K notes
·
View notes