technicallynotacowboy

[technicallynotacowboy]

hate an x reader fic do not put me in a situation

[technicallynotacowboy]

I wasn’t crazy about this piece so I wasn’t intending on publicly posting it again, but it keeps getting stolen every five minutes so I figured I’d put it here so people at least know who to attribute the original thing to lmao

[Digital illustration, Procreate App, 2020]

[technicallynotacowboy]

Things that leveled me up as a Dyke Pt. 2

When I had dyke sex in the parking lot of the fire and brimstone church I grew up in

When a girl drew protective sigils on my arm for weeks after she overheard me tearing apart her old roommate for saying transphobic shit about her

When the sleep study doctor told me I have a medically large tongue and my wife shouted "I KNEW IT"

When the butch at the hardware store told me the shelf cutting machine broke and we spent 20min cutting shelves with bolt cutters for my wife's closet.

At the RenFaire, my wife tried the knife throwing but couldn't get it, then got huffy when I told her how to do it. She handed me the last knife and told me it's not that easy. I did not tell her I threw knives a lot as a kid, so with all her bags and jewelry balanced in one arm, I flipped the knife a couple times and sunk it into the wooden target guy. Felt like a damn hallmark movie and I loved it.

When an Aussie woman in a hotel lobby asked me to please please keep talking because she was fascinated by my american southern accent. I called her darlin and she blushed.

When my wife's grandfather was fine with her being a lesbian largely because I was such a big help with the cattle

When I moved an iron bedframe into the garden for my wife's coworker and she asked how long we'd been together. The answer was that morning. We'd been going steady for about an hour.

When I taught my wife how to waltz

[technicallynotacowboy]

A good man🦌

I love this man so much that it hurt

What is tb? It doesn’t exist, nah ah

Not in my world

[technicallynotacowboy]

The real thing with ADHD is not "I forgot", but that forgetting is this ongoing process. I remembered! And then I forgot.

At ten this (hypothetical) morning I remembered that I have a meeting at six. And then from 11 through 3 I worked on other stuff and had zero thoughts about that meeting. Maybe even thought about what I was gonna do with my evening at home. Got attached to the idea of taking the time to make a good dinner, maybe play some video games.

And then at three I said, "Oh! Fuck!" and remembered again, hopefully long enough to set an alarm. And then I went to the bathroom and remembered that I need to clean the counter and spent twenty minutes cleaning the bathroom and went to get a snack and then at five I said, "OH! FUCK!" and had to scramble to dress like a real adult and get out the door.

It isn't one clean forgetting. It's a constant process of forgetting and then, with an exhausting adrenaline spike, remembering. And then forgetting. Baby, I can forget the same thing more times in a day than you ever forgot your parents' anniversary.

[technicallynotacowboy]

peeta mellark really was that bitch, pulling that “if it weren’t for the baby” line out of nowhere, oh he knew

[technicallynotacowboy]

Here are my Dungeon meshi stickers! I basically thought "hey. lots of people will have cute food themed stickers. And that good and well, but I want that serious stuff too!" So I decided to make a series for the main gang based on sense of self instead!

[technicallynotacowboy]

"I was not programmed to fail 💅🏻"

[technicallynotacowboy]

Y'all ever think about the way video game bosses are designed to lose? How the bombastic soundtracks, the impressive displays of villainy, the teeth-rattling power of their attacks, are at once engineered not just to sell you on how unfathomably strong and vile they are, but also to make the player's inevitable victory all the sweeter?

Viewed this way, a boss battle is more like a choreographed dance - they call, you respond and counter-call. The trick is to learn the steps - once you know where to move, when to strike, when to defend and how to best allocate your resources, victory is not just achievable but actually almost impossible to avoid. You cannot help but recite the winning plays, over and again, because that is what the dance demands of you both - and is there not a savage sort of beauty in such a thing?

Is it any wonder then that we look back on these bosses so fondly, almost as if they were old friends? We danced together once, and oh what fun we had while doing it!

[technicallynotacowboy]

Gertrude Robinson

[technicallynotacowboy]

a pure vanilla for my friend

[technicallynotacowboy]

Grave offerings and burying the dead with tools and goods is actually such a deeply human thing to do. It's not really even necessarily about how much you believe in a literal afterlife or them taking the tools with them. It's also just going Wait, I'm Not Done Taking Care Of You, let me make you one more pair of socks so your feet won't be cold when you go wherever it is where I can't follow.

[technicallynotacowboy]

Connor is not amused

(not a ship)

[technicallynotacowboy]

GO MY ULTRA SPECIFIC HEADCANONS!!!! 🫵

Love the idea that because the two dragons were sealed away in close contact to Dark Cacao’s soul jam it would have some kind of sway over his physical appearance. Leading to subtle changes after the dragons initial imprisonment and then slightly less subtle changes following his awakening and acceptance of their power.

Also sue me Im just a sucker for giving my favorite humanoid characters animal traits </3

Thank you for coming to my ted talk

[technicallynotacowboy]

the funniest and most tragic moment in steven universe is the scene that implies that Pearl pulls bitches like a professional dog walker but doesn't know how phones work so her place on earth is being a life-changing futch fling for every dyke on the east coast there's probably a gay bar in maryland where they talk about the twiggy bird chick that eats milf pussy like it's the last edible thing on earth and they dont even know about the city full of thousand year old neon lesbian amazons who are pent up 24/7 from The War and leaving room for jesus cause they're always hanging out with their softboy nephew who might be the second coming of christ

[technicallynotacowboy]

author's note; it also didn't taste great

[technicallynotacowboy]

SADIGAIL ALERT THIS IS NOT A DRILL 🔥🔥🔥🚨🚨🚨🗣🗣🗣🗣

Theyre literally my EVERYTHINGGG