teddyissick

[teddyissick]

this doesn’t mean as much to him as it does me 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😁😁😁😁

[teddyissick]

i forget how borderline insane i become when i like a boy

[teddyissick]

subject seemed to be at rock bottom, but there appears to be signs of digging.

[teddyissick]

i wanna be a real fake

[teddyissick]

i’m so fucking tired of just talking about it. i’m tired of being on the fucking sidelines. no matter how much i try, or don’t, im never fucking noticed. always the fucking second choice. i’m tired of feeling this way when im supposed to be having the time of my life!!! in goa!! with friends!! no curfew!! so much freedom!! but i can’t. i dont want this. i want to cry. i want to cry. please.

[teddyissick]

am i this fucking insufferable because why does no one want to be around me actually

[teddyissick]

only threw this fucking party for you

[teddyissick]

hey. can i please cry. she couldn’t be more different from me. what was i. fuck you. come back to me. hug me please. please stop pretending you don’t know who i am.

[teddyissick]

i’m so tired of being the photographer. i’m so tired of constantly taking pictures and videos of people so they remember these moments forever. i want to be taken pictures of. i want someone to love me so much they want to eternalise moments im happy in. how much longer. i know i say it doesn’t bother me. it does. how much longer do i need to pretend im okay with everyone around me being in love. how much longer am i supposed to pretend i know what this love feels likes. how much longer am i supposed to pretend im not going to fucking throw up right after i eat anything because skinny girls seem more loved. how much longer am i going to pretend not having romantic love isn’t shredding me to pieces. how much longer am i supposed to pretend that i don’t get attached quickly. i cling onto every piece of attraction i receive and its destroying me. i cant seem to enjoy myself any longer. i’ve thought of relapsing more times than i can count in the past two weeks alone. i’ve almost done it. two and a half years of sobriety down the drain and it doesn’t matter. what’s worse is that no one notices or cares. people believe me when i say i’m fine. because i am. i’m completely and absolutely fine. nothing bothers me. i’m fine. i’m not. i need to be helped. i need to be held. i need to feel safe. i need to not feel so fucking pathetic all the fucking time.

[teddyissick]

i am sick to my fucking STOMACH i will throw up

[teddyissick]

why not me why not me why not me why not me why not me why not me why not me why not me why not me why not me why not me why not me why not me

[teddyissick]

lord when i said i want to get charli xcx drunk i meant i love it or brat not party 4 u

[teddyissick]

quick question mom what the fuck is your problem

[teddyissick]

we are back baby. WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK

i lied i actually don't think i'm getting better.

[teddyissick]

god i lied i do NOT want a talking stage rn TAKE HIM AWAY PLEASE

[teddyissick]

one thing you can count on a boy to do is to let you down

[teddyissick]

i’m sorry mamma i love you endlessly

fuck you mom! fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you!!!!!!!