tedstjames-blog

[tedstjames-blog]

It is kind of scary. Not super scary, but... lowkey scary, you feel? I’m... working on that last part. Well, what do you expect me to wear then? I’m sure we’ll figure something out that’ll satisfy both of us. No animal print or camo, I can do that. I love bowties and if you wish to put it on me, I don’t see why not. Match?

So...prom?

[tedstjames-blog]

Plan makes it seem so scary, but I suppose you are right. Nothing wrong with plain suits, though. As long as I get to go with you and wear a cute bowtie, I’m happy. What are you thinking this plan should include?

So...prom?

It’s just around the corner and I am almost certain people have been holding onto their moment and reserving everything since last year. We’re behind… we need a plan. I refuse to re wear my winter formal again or a plain suit.

[tedstjames-blog]

TEXTS ✉️ TEDSON

[a beat]

Jackson: A date?

[a minute]

Jackson: ...what do you mean a 'legit' date that makes you forget I cut my hair?! What's wrong with it?

Ted: A date, yes.

[a few minutes]

Ted: Most of our dates have been kind of lowkey, you know? It would be nice to have a date where we can just be us and not worry about me, suddenly pretending it's not a date. Nothing's wrong with it. It just takes some getting used to.

[tedstjames-blog]

TEXTS ✉️ TEDSON

Ted: We should go on a date

Ted: Like a super legit date that makes me forget you cut your hair

[tedstjames-blog]

It doesn’t make you sound stupid at all. Honestly, I didn’t even know what it was before I took my time to research it.

You should ask Jackson to meet it. Her name is Popcorn and she seems to like me, but I’m afraid I’ll drop her like every second.

This is going to make me sound stupid, but wow, biotechnology? that sounds really smart. Like there isn’t another way to put that.

Hmm..well alrighty then.  I can’t wait to meet this special Oregon hedgehog.  It’s going to be mystical, I can just feel it.  

[tedstjames-blog]

After a second look, it does sound kind of fancy and a little pretentious even. Not sure it’s going to be any harder than other fields of study, though. What are you doing in Oregon? Well, I almost just came back from Oregon and is now exploring Disney.

You’re welcome! Oh, that sounds fancy and hard. I hope it’s not too hard for you! But, since you are studying it, you probably know so much about it. I’m good! I’m exploring Oregon right now. How about you? Any plans for break?

[tedstjames-blog]

It is in New York, yes. Jackson instructed me to do something everyone would like. So some rapper for Peyton, some classic rock and Disney for Jackson and some Panic! At The Disco and Arctic Monkeys for me. I never got to ask you if there was anything specific you wanted on the playlist?

That’s even better. It’s in New York right? I can’t remember. Oh cool, I should have guess when I said I didn’t enjoy genetics and you flipped on me. Haha. What kind of playlist are you planning for Disney?

[tedstjames-blog]

I am indeed! It’s gonna be pretty good, I think.

You’re going to be in New York, too? That’s so exciting! 

[tedstjames-blog]

Thank you! I’ll be studying biotechnology.

It is indeed. A hedgehog, yes. Can’t say I have either and I honestly have no idea why it had to be Oregon. Jackson asked me to come along and I said yes out of having nothing better to do. It does look cute, though - the special Oregon hedgehog.

Congrats, Teddy! Are you going there for a specific program or area of study?

Being concussion free is always a good thing.  Oh..a hedgehog?  Can’t say I’ve heard of someone driving to another state to get a hedgehog before.  Is it some kind of special Oregon Blue-Speckled hedgehog or something?

[tedstjames-blog]

TEXTS ✉️ HEIDORE

Ted: How are you feeling?

[tedstjames-blog]

Thank you. Honestly, I have no idea. Your brother dragged me with him.

Congrats on getting in. And why do you have to go all the way to Oregon to pick up hedgehog?

[tedstjames-blog]

PRIVATE

Not sure. I’m just... looking forward to get away from high school. I don’t like that place or what it has done to me. I’ve been selfish and now I feel like I’ve missed the last four years of my brother’s life. Once I get to New York, I’ll try my best to become a better person. I think it’s too late for me in San Francisco. I did like your surprise, yes. Sorry for not getting you anything: I didn’t realize we were on gifts. I’ll get you something on the two months mark, though. Disney sounds good, yeah.

Private

Teddy? You alright? Of course we can. You look like you’re in need of some heavy affection. Did you like my surprise? It’s not much as I don’t know what you give a person on this occasion. So, Nathan’s going to drive us back from Disney. Which means backseat boyfriend time! Oh…okay…that might sound like an innuendo. We have a bunch of things coming up to plan ahead for. 

[tedstjames-blog]

PM:

I want to do better, Jesse. I want to fix this. I realize I haven’t exactly been a decent brother these past years and maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m the unapproachable one. Just-- please give me one chance to make it better?

PM:

You’re delusional. You are the one who shoots me down every time I try to be supportive. You are the one who doesn’t let me know when you need help. The way you try to pass this off as me being unapproachable is ludicrous. If you haven’t bothered to learn how I deal with things or how I am in almost 18 years? You’re never going to get it. I honestly feel like you don’t know me at all. It’s like we’re two strangers who look alike and live in the same house. I’m done letting it get to me. Do what you want, Teddy.

[tedstjames-blog]

PRIVATE

... can we talk about happy stuff?

Private

Maybe? Whether you called him 2 seconds before or right after, it’s still my fault because I should’ve encouraged you to call him. I just didn’t think it was that serious to know right then and there… I also understand how you feel about him when it comes to wanting his attention. I think…you two need to actually talk to one another. Don’t shut the door on this. He might be all about Jesse St. James, but when it really counts and matters he is there. Give him the benefit of the doubt before completely writing him off? That’s not the right thing. You did the right thing by calling someone in general instead of just staggering off somewhere. No, it’s fine. You listen to me, I listen to you. Baby no…no… you’re not shoving me back in the closet. I’m still out. If someone asks me what my preference is i’m not going to lie, I will be honest. Plus the entire show and universe knows, so really there’s no reason for me to hide who I am. I am just not as flamboyant about displaying who I associated with. So why haven’t you told them?

[tedstjames-blog]

PM:

You know what sucks? Constantly having to think ‘Is this important enough to tell Jesse?’ and failing. Every time. Where do you stand, Jesse? Because quite frankly, I have no idea what’s going on with you, or us, or what things are going to be like when we get to NYC. I want to have a relationship with my brother, but I’m not sure how to make that happen anymore.

I’m aware. Don’t be, it doesn’t matter.

PM: 

You know, it’s funny really. Because I was paranoid that with us both in NYC I’d still have to worry about you? But obviously, if you don’t even tell me anything when we live in the same house, I don’t have to worry about you doing so when you live twenty minutes away. Thank you for letting me know where I stand anyway. 

[tedstjames-blog]

PRIVATE 

I hope things turn out alright between you and Sam again. The most sucky thing about this situation is that I was 0.2 seconds away from calling him instead of texting you. If I had just done that, he wouldn’t be angry and I wouldn’t have to deal with all of this. I’m not sure where I stand with my brother anymore and it really fucking sucks, but every time I talk to him I feel like he doesn’t care. That, or one of us manages to piss the other off. He did tell me not to come to him with the small stuff and when I was about to call him, it just rushed over me that maybe this wasn’t important enough to the great Jesse St. James. Or any St. James, for that matter. But I get that he’s angry. He has ever right to be. It just sucks that I was so close to doing the right thing, but managed to screw up big time -- possibly more than ever. I’m gonna shut up about my brother issues now, okay? Okay. I’m really sorry if you feel like I’m pushing you back. You had just come out and now I’m pushing you that step back again. I don’t think I could care less what my parents thinks although I doubt it is going to be a problem for them.

PRIVATE

Being detached from Sammy is weird for me because he’s my best friend too and has been my whole life. So i’m trying to cope with that as best I can. I- um…yeah…he’s mad. I’m sorry for not disclosing it was you hurt. I didn’t know if you wanted him to know since it was not serious. It’s my fault, don’t be upset with him. He has a right to be angry Babe, you tell who you want tell. I’m putting the wheel in your hands here because this is much harder for you to do than it is for me. They are like tiny fairies with a lot of energy. If anything they may try to get us to do one of those odd double date situations. Are you scared your parent’s won’t accept you or us?

[tedstjames-blog]

PRIVATE

I doubt I would ever actually go in the first place. Sorry about your brothers. I think Jesse is mad at me for not telling him about yesterday... I knew I should have called him and I’m not even too sure why I didn’t. Suppose we are. Just... can we take it slow? Nathan and Peyton don’t worry me too much, but it’s kind of hard for me still. Especially since, no, I haven’t told my parents. It’ll come. 

private

You require way too much planning that you’d have a small heart attack day 2 into realizing you ran to LA. I’d either stop you or try to make you enroll into somewhere locally. It sucks. I feel lonely and extremely empty when you’re not around. My brothers and I actually haven’t really been too talkative lately. Sammy’s still distancing himself out of guilt. I’m not to sure Jesse wants to hear about me moping with you, especially when it comes with affairs of the heart. I- we’re telling people. Really? Okay, well, those that are in our lives respectfully but…wow. This is huge for you. Are we springing this on Nathan and Peyton after their failed attempts to set us up? Yeah…i’m not sure what’s going on with her. She seems very cocky suddenly. Slowly…indeed. We got family out of the way or well, did you ever tell your parent’s? I think this is a good step. It means we don’t have to make up excuses for things and well, be comfortable in a social circle. You don’t have to be. If we were the same we’d bore each other fairly quickly. One of us has to be slightly opposite to keep it interesting and empower the other. You have the strangest affects on me. Shame on you.