teeaah

[teeaah]

[teeaah]

You think this is a joke? A JOKE? No, this is The native Finnish God of Love, Lempo. Demonic and monstrous, and capable of possessing people, driving them insane with love. Call him in with a right love spell and he’s more than happy to help you.

[teeaah]

my baba sent me this on whatsapp

[teeaah]

This footage of Elmo after messing up a take on Sesame Street is peak relatable

[teeaah]

this time last year, i was dating someone who competed with me when i made jokes and looked down on me when i was cheerful. soon after, i talked to a guy for a few months, only to realise recently that he has so little respect for me, avoided me whenever i bring something up, to the point that he retraumatised me after undergoing months of therapy over a trauma. i have to lift myself up again, picking up pieces of me he broke after i spent so long putting myself back together.

dating is a ruthless game of covering and uncovering yourself. it is more ruthless if you grew up in an environment that wasn’t really safe, where you constantly had to walk on eggshells despite having parents who provided for you. dating is making the decision on whether you’d want to stay with a person, it is a game of choice. everyday you choose.

i told him recently, early in the morning, after crying for an hour--this would be the third breakdown he’d seen me in--that when i met him, i knew what i didn’t want in a partner.

i don’t want someone who avoided conflict--i want someone who’d communicate and still make it safe for me to talk. i don’t want someone who is emotionally unavailable, which meant i had to work on my vulnerability. i don’t want someone who’d make me feel bad about anything in my life. i don’t want someone who wouldn’t laugh at my jokes. essentially, i discovered that i don’t want someone who--even in an inkling--would make me feel unsafe.

when he entered my life, i no longer looked at my list of what i don’t want in a partner. when he entered my life, the list formed into a person. that person is him. he is what i want in my ideal partner.

[teeaah]

i said i can’t sleep, after lying in bed for over forty minutes now. he spent twenty minutes talking, hoping that his voice lulls me to sleep. whispered words, whispered replies, i love you’s directly into the ear, i love you’s into the ether.

i can’t sleep, i said again. my watch shows that it’s 1135 at night. 

he held me tight and started making jokes, our voices getting louder as did our laughter.

i said i can’t sleep, not i need you to wake me up! i told him.

five minutes later, after the booms of laughter and the back and forth banter, my eyes opened up and it was 6am now.

you knew how to make me go to sleep.

you. knew. 

[teeaah]

James Acaster: Cold Lasagne Hate Myself 1999

Bonus:

[teeaah]

not to hop in on the Hottest Discourse but:

age gaps aren’t inherently bad between adults, but they are incredibly suspect in instances where one party has significantly more agency and experience due to their age. a thirty year old dating a forty year old, for instance, isn’t all that big a deal. but an eighteen year old should be VERY suspicious of a thirty year old wanting to get with them. they’ve had twelve years to establish themselves as an adult. an eighteen year old has had maybe a few months to do so.

i’m saying this as a person who briefly dated a thirty year old at age 19 (it wasn’t good lol), and also as a person with happily married parents who have a 12 year age gap. the difference is that my mom was in her thirties when she met my dad; she’d had plenty of time to find a career and a name for herself in the world.

stay safe, love urself, try to make good decisions but don’t beat yourself up if you’ve ever been the victim of an unbalanced or abusive relationship

[teeaah]

Essentially, in October 2020 I found happiness in myself. I remember checking myself out in the mirror a lot and going, god damn, who is that beautiful person! and learning to be the warmest version of myself I can be. This all came about with therapy, giving myself space to be myself and learning to live with myself. I learned to really love the person I am, and excited at the prospect of who I will be in the future.

I’m not sure if what they said is true: learn to love yourself before you love others. But in that time of being absolutely happy with myself, I attracted a very wonderful person who has become a great addition to my happy life, whom I love listening to talk and who loves to hear my thoughts. Someone who makes me laugh so hard that I can’t look at him or else I wouldn’t be able to stop. Someone who took care of me when I fell ill even though I told him he could go home if he wanted to.

In the months this has been happening, I have not once betrayed myself or my needs, and what I love most from this is the person I am now.

[teeaah]

(Source)

[teeaah]

Scott McCloud’s incomparable “Understanding Comics”.

I swear you can open this book to any page and it’s amazing.

(ps it’s actually a digital image of a printed copy of a drawing of a painting of a pipe)

[teeaah]

Just Indian things

[teeaah]

someone: what harry potter house are you :)

me: i’ve come to really not like harry potter, because of the way the majority of its fans behave as well as the bullshit jk rowling says and does and im not really comfortable identifying w/ the series anymore

also me: but like, hufflepuff

[teeaah]

oh ok

i spent so much of my past relationships in complete chaos that i thought they were heat of passion that makes love.

i somehow landed myself in a relationship that has been nothing but calm since day one. the only way i can describe is coming home to a home i’ve never had--no judgement, and no hiding, just comfort, tenderness and care. 

i hope everyone, even my worst enemy (sike, i dont have one) will feel something like this at least once in their life. it’s great. what even is anxiety.

[teeaah]

yesterday, while sitting on my living room couch and browsing through instagram, i heard a shuffle outside on my balcony (i’m on the ground floor), but i made nothing of it. just thought it was slightly weird. and then out of nowhere, adam knocked on the high windows and was like “*waves* hello! can you let me in?”

i fucking hate this guy.

[teeaah]

I haven’t ever changed who I am. I’ve just gotten more accepting of it. Being happy isn’t getting what you want, it’s wanting what you have. - Carrie Fisher