22 they/she ijust vent here and might post art maybe? idk tw for a lotta stuff im not sure what yet
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We looked inside some of the posts by teeheeheeee-i-just-vent-here and here's what we found interesting.
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one day of not being fuckin permastoned and i already have aan insatiable urge to claw my way out of my skin this is wonderfullllllllllll!!!!!!!!! :33333333
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if you have a problem with me PLEASE just tell me directly
its quite literally torture for me if you dont
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i wanna draww some porn comics but theyre inspired by my thoughts about realll people that i know and am friends with and idk is that weird???? like chances are they wont see it but theyre ALSO gay furries so idkkkkkk
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ive been thinkin a lot about what itd be like to be stabbed by just some random dude on the street
like id prooobably cu,m???
idk the thought excites me way too much to be considered healthy i jsut wanna scream for them to twist it in me and feel me up from the inside or whateverr idk
if ur gonna kill me you better fuck my wounds as im fading awayy or its a waste
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not sure if its concerning that my brain can just completely convince itself of shit sometimes like oh im dyingg better grab my ukulele and play the spongebob squarepoants theme lil nose recorder part before i keel over cause thatss definitely gonna make the committee laugh and mayb3 ill get a better chance next time around idk??
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SOMEONE JUST FUCKING TALK TO ME
i say as im actively ignoring like 3 people lmao
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it feels like i just
cant learn new things anymore
i wanna dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeE (in a silly sorta way)
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aaaaAAAAAAAA i despise my inability to hold a single fucking conversation for more than like 3 seconds i just give such surface level reactions to everything because i DONT have any meaningful thoughts about anything ever its infuriating
my minds just filled to the brim with negativity thats often times not even in the form of words, its images and concepts that i cant translate to wordss (thats how a lot of my thoughts are which is another thing that makes conveying what few positive thoughts i have so muich more difficult)
that and random ass patterns i obsess over and motions of objects in my mind and trying to change them and the constant overprocessing of sensory inputs and a lot of times my "main" conscious thoughts are just music so i have NOTHING TO SAY
it sucks :3
and when i do have meaningful thoughts they get cut short by all that other shit or i convince myself its not worth saying or something bad will happen if i do or it will be taken in the wrong way and i end up staying silent and leaving people on read for hours lying that i slept or was busy or something and i know they dont believe it so its just so insanely defeating every time
im so fucking lonely and i want to meet more people but i cant even talk to the friends i already have
honestly a lot of it is probably that im scared of changing how i present myself from what other people are used to so that fear nips new thoughts in the bud and i just go back to being reactionary and braindead
yippeeee
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things are better now i guess?
we talked stuff through more and it was really helpful
hell yea ?
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am i not owed at least some semblance of an explanation??
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you lied to me time and time again
reasurring me that what i felt wasnt real when you knew very well it was
im fucking sick of you
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hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
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i cant imagine ever being without you but it also sounds like bliss
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