teensofmarv

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James, my love...

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Guys, pls beahve during the mission 🫡

Bucky Barnes and Natasha Romanoff (being horny) in The New Avengers #1 (2025)

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GUYS WAKE UUUUUUUPPPPP

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hey so what the fuck was this about

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ok but Pinterest is totally the wedding planner right?

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2 flavors

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>____<

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I hate, hate, HATE the term “affordable housing.” I hate that we’ve normalized it. I hate that we just accept that the majority of housing, a basic human right, is unaffordable to much of the population. Housing should be affordable as a baseline. If rich people want to add arcades and gold-plated hot tubs on top so be it, but everyone, everyone, regardless of income level, should have access to a clean, comfortable home with enough light and space to make life worth living.

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So many hobbies so little time

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Girls girls please control yourselves

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Kon somehow manages to convince Clark and Lex to co-parent. Officially, Lex Luthor and Superman have a custody agreement that grants them each equal legal custody of Superboy, with primary physical custody awarded to Superman and Lex given visitation every other weekend, four holidays of his choosing, and every other birthday unless all parties agree to celebrate together. The papers are drawn up by the best lawyers money can buy (on both their parts, since Bruce Wayne bank rolls the Justice League and keeps top law firms on retainer) after weeks of grueling negotiations.

Unofficially, Clark can be a petty bitch, Lex can be a complete asshole, and Kon gets tired of constantly being in the middle. To keep the peace, he establishes 3 simple rules. First, no disparaging the other parent in Kon’s presence. Second, Kon’s best interest always comes first. Third, violation of rules 1 or 2 means Kon calls you Mom in public until the other parent fucks up.

Lex learns very quickly that Kon isn’t joking. He calls Superman a waste of power while watching news reports on the Justice League cleaning up Metropolis after an alien invasion. Kon doesn’t say anything until Lex is on a videoconference with investors.

“Taking off, Mom,” he announces as he hugs Lex from behind. He takes advantage of the shocked silence to kiss Lex’s temple in view of the camera. “Gonna go help Dad with cleanup. Later!”

Kon doesn’t go anywhere. He sits his ass on the couch across the room, grinning smugly as Lex glares at him over his laptop for over an hour.

Luckily for Lex, Clark screws up that very night. Kon got to sit in on the League’s post-invasion debrief and sticks around for dinner after. He mentions his afternoon with Lex and catches Clark rolling his eyes. He could let it go, but enforcing the rule is important.

He waits until Flash, Batman, and Wonder Woman come looking for food to say something. “Mama, didn’t you and Dad promise to get me a new laptop?”

They did not. Clark blushes as red as his cape as Wonder Woman asks Kon what it’s like having a superhero for a mother.

It goes back and forth, and it keeps working. Lex makes an anti-Superman statement that gets quoted in the Daily Planet, so Kon Tweets about how smart his Mom is. Lex retracts his statement the next day. Clark sarcastically comments on the nature of seemingly benign LexCorp acquisitions during a League meeting, so Kon loudly declares that his Mama needs to lead special training sessions for young heroes with super strength. Clark looks into the acquisitions and announces at the next meeting that—surprise!—they’re actually completely legit.

The problem starts when the two men seem to get accustomed to Kon’s nonsense and stop wussing out at the thought of their masculinity or reputations being threatened by a title. Instead, they start competing. It’s a shitshow.

Kon is injured on a mission and calls for his Mama? Lex tries to gain access to the JL med bay, but a smug Superman beats him to it.

“He asked for his Mama,” Clark says as he adjusts sun lamps around Kon’s bed. “Pretty sure that’s me.”

Kon gets exposed to kryptonite and feels too sick to fly? He asks Batman to call his Mom.

“He asked for Mom,” Lex says to a pissed off Superman after Kon’s safely tucked into bed. “That’s me.”

Got the brakes beat off him by somebody strong enough to fuck with (mostly) Kryptonians? Call for Mama, paging Dr. Mama. Lex finds out and is salty Superman was there to proverbially kiss Kon’s boo-boos.

Unsure about his future and nervous about his ability to live a civilian life? Mom, help. Clark hears Lex talking Kon through college options and careers from across town, and he’s so hurt that Kon didn’t come to him first.

Shit. This may have backfired.

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sam: you wanna tell me about her?

steve, who lasted 5 months without wifi and then jumped in time to marry tony: no, I don’t think I will

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The reactions to The Batman part 2 announcements are always so funny on twt

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How do you process grief?

by running from it until it finds me in the middle of a sunny street on a beautiful day

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“You better not have heard the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise”

My insidious ass: