teletubbyinlipstick

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This post is for ladies only. If you are a guy, GET out of here.

I bestow upon you this dagger. It is an ancient dagger. Use it wisely.

[teletubbyinlipstick]

TF141 & International student neighbor on the verge of a crisis

You didn’t cry when you moved into your flat. A few tears spilled when the kettle refused to boil, and the radiator wheezed like it was dying, but that hardly counted. You weren’t this close to a soul-shattering mental breakdown in four different languages and two whole personalities. Nope. That was just being a successful woman, completely in control of her life. You lived in a flat that could be described as vintage, or one good gust from collapsing, as your best friend kindly put it when you called. It had four walls, a roof, and the washing machine only flooded the kitchen every other week. It wasn’t the worst deal in the world. At least you didn't have spiders building their little lego-web houses on the ceiling. That would be disgusting.

However, you spent your first night on the couch wrapped in every hoodie you owned, scrolling through your phone with the Wi-Fi from the library nearby that cut out if you breathed wrong, wondering what the hell you’d gotten yourself into.

The move to England had been impulsive, at least that’s what your parents said. “You’re barely out of high school, sweetheart. Isn't it too soon?” But you wanted to prove you could do it; be independent, get a degree, build a career. Whatever that meant. You didn’t know yet. Those stupid tik toks about girlbossing your way through life didn’t help much, either. Classes were hard. Work was harder. You cleaned tables at a café full of old ladies who judged your every move, then crammed lectures and assignments into your evenings, falling asleep to the sound of cats screeching in the alley outside your window.

And then there were your neighbors.

The first time you saw them, your eyeballs nearly popped out. Four men who looked like they’d walked out of an action movie trailer. Broad shoulders, broader chests, paired with alertness that made you sit up straighter when they walked by. Pavlov's a bitch. One of them wore a beanie and had a beard that probably intimidated children. Or made them laugh, it depends on who you ask. You bet he worked as Santa Claus during Christmas time, that beard would do wonders. One limped slightly but moved like he’d break into a sprint at the slightest excuse, he also had a nasty scar on his head. One always had his baseball hat up and gentle eyes. And the last one… he wore sunglasses even on cloudy days and didn’t speak unless he was being sentenced to death. You nicknamed them The Lads before you even learned their names. It was honestly a really bad attempt at copying the British accent, a silly little inside joke meant only for yourself.

It was the limp that pulled you into their circle. Soap. His real name was Johnny, but everyone called him that. Something had happened to him. Not a car crash kind of injury, and surely not a oops-I-got-a-paper-cut issue. Something else. A kind of hurt that reeked of bloodshed and gunfire. He looked so cheerful despite it all... you envied his lack of self-restraint. He helped you carry a box of books up the stairs when you dropped it.

"You don’t look like a librarian." You tried to break the ice.

He grinned. “Cheers, lass. Ye don’t look like yer old enough to be living alone.”

“Rude,” you replied, winded. “But fair.” You became something like their mascot after that. Or a stray pup they all silently agreed to look after.

Price knocked on your door the night your power went out. Just handed you a flashlight and an extra blanket and left, didn’t even wait for a thank you. Gaz noticed your bike had a flat and fixed it without a word. Ghost, well, Ghost scared you a little. A lot. But you never said it to his face. It wouldn't be polite, would it?

You weren’t supposed to become attached to them. They were four grown men with lives and a bond so deep you couldn’t begin to understand. And you? You were just the girl next door. Sweet, a little clueless, a little cheeky, and hanging on by a thread.

You were tired all the time. Tired of pretending you were having the time of your life when really, you felt like you were slowly crumbling. Like the version of yourself that had boarded that plane so full of hope and plans had somehow gotten lost between Heathrow and the broken laundromat on the corner. How could you tell your mum you were regretting everything? How could you face your brother and say that the big sister he looked up to was just a loser? The weather was hell 365 days out of 365, if someone offered you another fish and chips dish you'd crash out, and you were likely forgetting all of the damned languages you spoke because of the humidity eating your brain cells.

Wasn't youth supposed to be the best time of your life? This was the part where you found yourself and laughed and made memories you’d cherish forever... Seriously, what the heck were you doing? You felt cold and alone. Ate one-pound meals at the measly convenience store run by Aunt Wang and listened to her ranting in Mandarin Chinese. What an exciting existence. How dignified.

Until the night you cried in the stairwell. You’d just finished a shift where someone called you incompetent because you didn’t know what a “flat white” was supposed to taste like. Your exam results had come back worse than expected. And your period had started early, like the universe had decided to kick you where the sun doesn't shine while you were already down. Bollocks, Simon's voice rang in your mind. You were curled up by the railing, the hoodie laid over your knees, when the door opened. Boots. Heavy ones. Speaking of the devil, Ghost’s voice scared the shit out of you. ��Bad day?”

You sniffled, eyeing him up and down. “No, just peachy. Rainbows and all that.”

“Bollocks." He countered timely. You giggled. It was ridiculous and extremely easy to make your day better. Any of them could with just a snap of fingers. "I'm telling Price y'were here cryin' like a baby."

"Oh, shut it. I'll have you know some of us have beating hearts under our ribcage, Mr. Creep-a-lot."

"Oi, yer fifteen years too young t'make fun o'me."

Perhaps you did have one good thing in your hands, wasting it would be a shame.

[teletubbyinlipstick]

the amount of jeong jinman, seo moonjo, wang yeo, and more (dongwook characters) fan fiction in here and ao3 is heartbreaking. this is the time in my life where i really wish i could write

[teletubbyinlipstick]

Descent

for @konkenorve

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the lawful husbands fandom would be so powerful if we got together to make a gahan au of every Disney movie out there. canon gave us beauty and the beast but we can go further

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Hannibal x Strangers from hell

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If I had a nickel for every time an older, lovesick cannibalistic serial killer in a medical-adjacent field homoerotically manipulated Some (pretty) Guy’s darkest desires into becoming a killer and then ambiguously killing him, I would have two nickels. That I currently know of.

[teletubbyinlipstick]

Im so fucking smart ask me anything

[teletubbyinlipstick]

18+ MDNI, fem!reader // cw: hybrids, predator/prey dynamic, mounting, sort of dubcon-ish, a hint of somnophilia, breeding, established relationship.

wc: 1.6k

fox hybrid!naruto is as playful as much as he is sneaky.

he follows you around the apartment; curiously peeking from behind the corners, watching your every move not because he’s skittish, but rather because he wants to learn how you behave when you think he’s not around.

he does it quite often for some reason. perhaps it’s the wild of the predator that’s coursing his blood or the naive wonder that’s just signature for his personality, who knows, but if you catch him by any chance — and you do, he isn’t nearly as slick as he thinks he is — he immediately comes over, wraps his arms around you from behind and makes sure to comfort you and nip your cheek or bottom lip with his sharp fangs after every kiss he gifts you in apology.

still, he continues his watch. he learns your patterns over time despite the fact that he has a habit of tripping over his own two feet and blowing his cover with all the noise it causes. he learns the way you move, the little quirks that you exhibit, the timing of them. he learns them all as a safety precaution which he doesn’t really need if you think about it.

after all, he could slam into you full force as a means to take over and could simply make you submit to his predatory instinct just like a couple of his apex predator friends had done with their own mates in the past. he’s well aware that he’d win if he did it that way; he’s no wolf or bear, but he’s still stronger and armored with a far bigger set of teeth than the one that currently sits in your mouth.

however, the problem is that you’re sneaky too.

you’re a tough little thing to grasp — hard to impress, even worse to court. are practically made to slip between a person’s fingers if they were to try and squeeze you into their fist without asking for permission to do so first. on top of all that, you being a cat hybrid amongst all the other possibilities available doesn’t help his situation either; it makes you exceptionally perceptive and equally as hard to dominate because of it. so troublesome!

and that’s not all there is to it. even your eyesight is spectacular, as is your awareness of your surroundings. the triangle-shaped ears that sit atop your head twitch and constantly angle in the direction of the smallest movement he makes. and naruto knows that they do, that they listen and assess the danger. he’s tested it out so many times during the course of your relationship.

the first step he takes towards you whenever your back is turned in his direction is also usually his last because of how fast you are to turn around to face him in mere seconds, rigid body language exhibiting high alert. he’s never even gotten the chance to fully sneak up on you yet, much less tackle you into a play fight.

this entire thing would be so much easier if you were a bunny. he’d push and you’d take it like a good little rabbit, the end. everyone knows that bunny hybrids practically throw themselves before the jaws of a predator and spread their strong legs just as willfully the moment their first heat comes into play.

but naruto, even whilst itching to conquer you because of the beast within, kind of digs the challenge a moody little kitty such as yourself brings to the table. especially when the effort that he’s put into all this preying finally manages to pay off.

actually, it enables him to catch you when you’re least expecting it — during your afternoon nap.

your feline behaviour really shines at its brightest when you doze off. instinctively drawn to warmth, he’s since learned that you always fall asleep in the patch of sunlight that spills through the window and onto the couch across the room when the days are clear and the curtains are pushed to the side. always in the same position, too. on your tummy, with your limbs relaxed and stretchy; tail swishing from side to side ever so slightly before going completely still. just like now.

oh shit, there it is; the sign he’s been waiting for!

your tail has stopped moving so that means you’re completely out for the next half hour, perhaps even more. he watches from a safe distance just to make sure, leaning against the doorway that leads into the living room and straining his fox ears as hard as he’s possibly able as a means to catch every sound.

thud, thud, thud. your heartbeat is calm, as is your breathing. you’re at ease while you sleep, he can not only hear it but see it too. open and vulnerable and trusting, allowing yourself to be caught completely off guard. you could almost pass as docile, the way you look right now, but he knows better — he’s been with you for long enough to know.

so he takes one step forward, slowly. toes, heel. nothing happens.

he takes another. all is well.

and then all of a sudden, before your heavy eyelids can get the chance to crack open at the sound of fast-approaching footsteps, and before you can come back to from the depths of the cozy catnap you were so pleasantly indulging in, naruto at long last makes his move.

your sweet fox boyfriend pins you down with his weight as he lays on top of you; he squeezes you flat against the couch until your cheek is pressing into its soft cushions. he’s warm and shirtless and his skin smells like the summery shower gel he must have washed himself with earlier, but he doesn’t seem to be scared of your claws that might come in contact with him, promising pain.

even his hair is still damp. a small droplet of water lands on your cheek when you try to turn your head to the side to look at him.

you hiss at him with prominent annoyance when it slides down the edge of your jaw, the action a subtle warning that clearly tells him to stop this nonsense right now, but he’s been expecting that, too. so he works quickly to try and tame you into submission, allowing instinct to take charge because it’s the only safe bet he has.

you’re surprised how easily he works his way around you and it’s entirely your fault. he doesn’t show how strong he actually is underneath all the shy caresses that he gives you and the nice grins and it makes you forget, giving you a false sense of authority that quickly diminishes when you’re the one experiencing that raw power on your own body.

so it’s no wonder that you stand no chance while he manhandles you and keeps you caged underneath him. that you feel utterly helpless while he drags your comfortable little shorts down your legs with zero problem; until they’re hanging off one ankle right along with your panties.

he frees his cock, fists it a couple of times with the help of some drool before he mounts you then, breathing hard and still making sure to avoid the claws you’re bound to sink into him the second he releases your wrists. he’s holding them both with just one hand, seemingly mocking your incompetency even further, albeit completely unintentionally.

and it’s true; he doesn’t mean it. naruto has never been mean-spirited like that despite the whole predator aspect that lives and roars beneath his gorgeous tan skin.

but foxes can be tricky.

so he holds his grip and they dig into the couch instead, your claws. they get caught in the blanket that you’re both sweating on top of now as his hips rut into you and yours follow the deep, almost animalistic rhythm even though your anger and pride tell you to stop, stop, fucking stop obeying him.

but you can’t stop, you’re forced to submit because he’s a bigger threat than you are; it’s just how your brain is wired. you bend to survive. it’s exactly like that situation with the scrawny mouse girl who you used to tease and endlessly make fun of back in high school.

how does it feel to be on the prey side, little kitty?

you’re unsure how to feel about this entire thing, it might be because your mind has slipped into a certain kind of haze. he fucks you like he’s never fucked you before and a prolonged mewl that you can’t hold back leaves your lips when his teeth sink into the crook of your neck all of a sudden, marking you.

the strap of your tank top is hanging off your shoulder, exposing you further, and his hot, greedy mouth follows the naked skin without a second thought, just biting, licking, sucking. marking.

he’s growling and snarling into your ear every time he slams into you, sounding like the exact opposite of himself. you’re no better either; you keep making so much noise that you’re ashamed of yourself. moaning and whining, squirming and thrashing underneath him. by the time he fills you up with his seed, you’ll probably start to purr.

just the thought alone makes you feral. the sudden urge to be bred and bear his children plagues your mind like the deadliest storm. imagining your pussy leaking his warm cum is simply too good while stuck in a lowly position such as this one.

his cock is throbbing inside you as he pounds into your slick cunt, trying to push its way into your fucking womb. he’s big and heavy, hot in your tummy and hard to fit. the adrenaline that he’s getting because of the complete control he now has over you is surely exciting him enough to make him see god.

he probably won’t see god, though.

oh no, you’ll make sure to drag this wicked fox into the very depths of hell the second his knot stops swelling and he releases you from his iron-like grip.

[teletubbyinlipstick]

Omega! Male reader who is just a baker in Gotham. He has daily break ins which causes three known vigilantes to check up on the poor omega daily. Nightwing, red hood, and Red Robin. These three just straight up show in their civilian clothes and persona, trying to get to know you. But they show up on different days, the poor alphas don’t even know their other brother is showing up to met the sweet omega. Damian is getting annoyed and tired hearing dick talk about the omega that’s a baker down the city’s street. So Damian goes, and he’s hook when you talk to him about art and your adorable dog that you showed a picture of as he eats the delicious sweet treats. you are worthy to date any of his brothers.

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Thinking about Alpha!Sukuna who thinks all humans smell disgusting. He just cannot stomach their scent. To him it’s like smelling farm animals. Whether it was years ago during his time or now, while he inhabits the body of this pink-haired brat, humans still smell like cow manure. Overbearing and disgustingly heavy. He cannot stand it.

But when your scent hits his nose for the first time, he can’t help but stiffen. It’s…. light. Fresh. He smells coconut and citrus. It reminds him of the shrine made for him by the townspeople centuries ago, where they would offer him fruit and worship him. When he was revered and feared all the same.

He sees you then. Feisty little thing despite being an omega. You are a good sorcerer, filled with potential that he recognises even if your peers don’t. And Sukuna is hit with the overwhelming urge to scent you. In a way that the Alpha in him has never acted out before.

And it shocks him that you’re a human. A mere human who somehow fills him with intrigue. How dare you? But also, he needs you. Carnally. Now.

Once the King of Curses sets his eyes on you, good luck trying to escape him. You’re his forever. For the rest of his life.

[teletubbyinlipstick]

Could you make genin Naruto, Sasuke, Gaara, Rock Lee and Neji x reader who is their crush and they end up having to fight reader in the chunin exam?

Yessss, yes I will 😊

Fighting Them During The Chunin Exam

A/N: half of this was written with writers blocks the other half was written when I was high, so don’t judge the quality okay 😊

Naruto

- One by one you both watched as everyone was drawn. When it was just down to four of you, Naruto prayed he would get Kiba

- You both gave a side eye when you were the last opponents

- Oh fucking shit

- He was actually a bit (really) mad, protesting that he could not fight you because you were a friend but when the only response was fight or surrender he bit the inside of his cheek

- “Friend”… yuh uh, he means totally smitten to the point he feels like a dog

- But he couldn’t surrender, not when he was this close to getting his chunin but he didn’t know where you guys would stand after it

- When you reassured him this is just how it was supposed to be and said you’d be honoured to fight him, he only frowned and scratched his head.

There he stood, across from you on this dirty cement floor and he was mesmerized on how you could just smile.

“This gotta be a joke, can you just redraw?” He asked the , displeased evident.

“There’s nobody to draw from, you both are the last opponents,” he irked, finding Naruto’s stupidly uncharming.

“Naruto it’s fine, let’s just do this, I’m hungry,” You slumpt, anxious to get this over with.

- he went easy at the start, only throwing kunais and he played defence

- When he realized you weren’t going easy, he was caught off guard as you punched him right in the face

- He stumbled, looking at you with somehow even more admiration

- Then he got serious and the fight really started

- You lost, but some part of you kind of anticipated it

- You were sprawled out on the floor, head pounding from the attack and you were honestly just so tired from the forest

- When you surrendered he felt relieved, he didn’t know how much longer he could take fighting you

- He ran over to you, he wasn’t happy with the win

- He apologized over and over, helping you up and taking you to the infirmary

- He was so glad you guys were still friends, you meant so much to him

- Totally just friends

- He takes you out for ramen after

- He still is on edge for quite some time, he makes excuses why he can’t train with you and he definitely won’t rough house like you guys use too

——

Sasuke

- king of looking like he doesn’t give a shit

- He does

- He’s literally panicking internally and in private probably bites his nails from anxiety

- He thinks he’s anxious to fight you, that has to be it? Out of everyone you are most worthy to him potential wise

- He’s lying to himself, he doesn’t wanna believe that he’s scared to fight you because you mean a lot to him

- He’ll avoid you for the month of training and when you come to confront him about it he’s eerily upset

“We’re not friends, I am getting my chunen license even if it means hurting you,” he says, stopped inside his door frame as he watches you fold your arms over your chest.

“So that’s it, friendship over because of a silly competition?” You respond, you knew sasuke was aloof and stubborn, but really?

“We never were friends,” he replied, as casual as one could and he hated the way your eyes got glossy. He watched you leave, regretting it but he won’t take it back.

- you were nervous, standing in the podium as the crowd was watching you

- Sasuke wasn’t here yet, which you’d hope he wouldn’t show up at all

- You were a bit annoyed as he spawned in with kakashi, trying to be ‘cool’

- He was surprised when you actually put up a fight, a good one too

- But also kind of proud

- He did not go easy on you, at all and was definitely being yelled at by Naruto on the stands

- he won, by default as you had passed out and could not continue to fight

- He wanted to check on you, instead lurking outside your door and kinda of just shuffling around

- He’ll ask the nurses if you’re okay, but he won’t dare go in already knowing he’s fucked up your guys friendship

——

Gaara

- low key you were shitting your pants cause WHATT???

- You saw what that boy did to Rock Lee, and now you have to fight him?

- He on the other hand doesn’t care, but the more it gets closer to the fight he starts feeling uneasy

- He’s… what they refer to as a monster? So why is he kind of concerned for this nobody wannabe?

- He had sat beside you during the first test, intrigued by you

- Your the first person that has ever smiled at him so.. genuinely

- And now he has to fight you? A big part of him was set on absolutely destroying you to stop this uneasiness in his chest

- I mean, he didn’t even know if he had a gentle bone in his body, all he knows how to do is ruin things

“You…” his cold voice came, you were walking home in the dusk from the ramen shop after hanging out with Naruto.

“Uh.. yeah? Hey?” You responded, confused and a bit anxious as you stuffed your hands in your pockets. He came closer, a blank look on his face.

“Forfeit,”

“Huh?”

“Forfeit the fight, I will kill you,” He explained, blinking so casually as he watched your complexed reaction.

- he, in his own scary way, was trying to warn you that he could not control himself

- He was kind of happy when you got his underlying message.. you really were different

- You forfeited privately, to your sensei who completely understood

- Gaara was grateful when the next night Baki had told him his opponent had changed

——

Rock Lee

- When you were paired with him for the semi finals he had frowned

- He apologized to Neji and his sensei

- Both were very confused

- He had that cute little ‘hmpf’ look on his face with an even cuter pout as he walked down the steps

- When he came face to face to you you saw this look in his eyes

- Both of you didn’t say anything when the ref asked if anyone wanted to forfeit before he called fight

You braced, drawing your Kunai when the fight began. Rock Lee raised his hand, looking like his traditional taijustu pose.

“I cannot fight you (y/n)! Please forgive me I forfeit,” he yelled, clasping his hands together and falling to his knees before you in a bow.

“…wha…?” You deadpanned, uneased by how loud he had just shouted that. He looked up, seriousness written all over him.

- You guys didn’t talk until after everyone had battled, finding him hiding from you behind the tree outside

- He slumped as you yelled at him

- He let you rant before he started his own ramble, explaining how he couldn’t fight you

- He would never lay a hand on you, it was against his ninja way

- His eyes started to water and his top lip twitched, clearly upset

- You rolled your eyes and went to go get ice cream with him

——

Neji

- you guys were paired to fight for the finals

- He was stubborn and if you’re a girl.. low key sexist about it

- He thinks he’s being a gentlemen but absolutely obliterating you with ‘facts’

- King of backhanded compliments

- But what he doesn’t know is you started to train with a really powerful sensei who was travelling through the village and offered to help you

- Throughout the whole month training time he was focusing on his fighting, but you were on the back of his mind

- He knew he wanted to win, but he also knew he didn’t want to hurt you either nor ruin your relationship

- So he spent a lot of late nights trying to figure out ways he could knock you out as quick and painless as possible

- This was all internally and completely private to him, he never expressed any weakness on the outside

- He was pretty confident in himself

- When the fight began and he realized.. you were actually catching him off guard he was perplexed

“I don’t-… how?” He coughed up blood, knees weak as he swayed to try and stay up right. You frowned, he hated that.

“I’m not weak Neji, don’t underestimate your opponent. You don’t know me,” Those words were said in order to hurt him, he had ruined your patience with his opinion of you.

“I.. thought I did,” he pondered, eyes lost.

- you gave the final blow to him and he was carried away to infirmary

- When he awoke he stared up at the ceiling for a long time after, feeling his wounds and thinking he deserved the pain for how much he took your abilities unseriously

- He vowed to never make you feel inferior to him and started to rekindle your friendship in hopes he didn’t ruin his chance

——

[teletubbyinlipstick]

hes perfect sunbabies

please could you write rock lee x reader head canons or smth like in a relationship 😛

YESSS IM OBSESSED WITH HIM, HES SO UNDERATED!!!

Rock Lee Relationship Headcanons

- childhood friends trope…?

- Doesn’t matter how you guys started dating, he’s gonna be the most phenomenal boyfriend

- You know those guys who beg to hang out and then have no plans or put any effort into it? Yeah expect NONE of that

- He plans every date, where to go, when, what you guys are gonna do, etc

- And he notices everything about you, if you’ve been mentioning a certain food place or activity.. consider it planned

- Typical gentlemen, holds doors, pushes your chair in for you, kisses your hand, and compliments you every single hour

- It’s honestly insane how he can even come up with so many compliments and each of them are just so genuine, like he really gets you

- “Your soul is so beautiful, you know that?”

- Finds something new to fall in love with you each day

- He also gets you little things, such as showing up to your house with some of your favourite snacks or picking you flowers on the way

- If he leaves for a mission he’ll write, not matter how long the duration of it is, just a 3 day trip to a near by village- you will be getting a letter. A month long mission? You will be getting 7 letters.

- He also brings you back things from his mission, like a cute little trinket or a crystal he saw that he thought you’d like

- Back to the gentlemen thing, the first couple months of dating he was so hesitant with touching you even though he’s a VERY affectionate person

- After he gets more comfortable, his hands are all over you, on your hip, elbow, locking your guys fingers, etc

- Definitely gets lost in thought just staring at you, especially during a social event and you guys are on opposite sides of the room

- Literally will jump up and down if you guys have a sleepover

- Loves to shower you in kisses, especially if he knows you’re having a bad day

- When he tickles you, he will definitely annoyingly say “the tickle monster is gonna getcha!”

- He is such a good kisser, definitely the type to hold the back of your neck and nip at your bottom lip

- Surprisingly he’s actually kind of quiet in private, he likes just spending time in the same room and just having a hand on your shin as he reads a scroll

- Has reading glasses that he 100% can pull on

- Will literally die for you, if your a ninja and both on the same mission he is jumping in front of you no matter what

- Proposes immediately after you guys turn 18 (in a plot where you guys are dating/involved since genin)

- If you guys meet during the war/later on in your 20’s, he won’t take long to propose either

- Give you guys a good 2 years dating and he’ll have you with a ring on your finger

- You are his most important person in his life and he makes it well aware to everyone and you included

- Definitely the type of guy to not get scared off easily or give up, any problem you both face will be dealt with and he will never throw away your guys relationship if it gets too hard

- So good at handling a panic attack or mental breakdown

- Will brush your hair out of your face as you cry and sniffle as you rant about whatever had upset you and he has this genuine look in his eyes as he just nods and listens

- (I want him so bad 😕)

[teletubbyinlipstick]

please could you write rock lee x reader head canons or smth like in a relationship 😛

YESSS IM OBSESSED WITH HIM, HES SO UNDERATED!!!

Rock Lee Relationship Headcanons

- childhood friends trope…?

- Doesn’t matter how you guys started dating, he’s gonna be the most phenomenal boyfriend

- You know those guys who beg to hang out and then have no plans or put any effort into it? Yeah expect NONE of that

- He plans every date, where to go, when, what you guys are gonna do, etc

- And he notices everything about you, if you’ve been mentioning a certain food place or activity.. consider it planned

- Typical gentlemen, holds doors, pushes your chair in for you, kisses your hand, and compliments you every single hour

- It’s honestly insane how he can even come up with so many compliments and each of them are just so genuine, like he really gets you

- “Your soul is so beautiful, you know that?”

- Finds something new to fall in love with you each day

- He also gets you little things, such as showing up to your house with some of your favourite snacks or picking you flowers on the way

- If he leaves for a mission he’ll write, not matter how long the duration of it is, just a 3 day trip to a near by village- you will be getting a letter. A month long mission? You will be getting 7 letters.

- He also brings you back things from his mission, like a cute little trinket or a crystal he saw that he thought you’d like

- Back to the gentlemen thing, the first couple months of dating he was so hesitant with touching you even though he’s a VERY affectionate person

- After he gets more comfortable, his hands are all over you, on your hip, elbow, locking your guys fingers, etc

- Definitely gets lost in thought just staring at you, especially during a social event and you guys are on opposite sides of the room

- Literally will jump up and down if you guys have a sleepover

- Loves to shower you in kisses, especially if he knows you’re having a bad day

- When he tickles you, he will definitely annoyingly say “the tickle monster is gonna getcha!”

- He is such a good kisser, definitely the type to hold the back of your neck and nip at your bottom lip

- Surprisingly he’s actually kind of quiet in private, he likes just spending time in the same room and just having a hand on your shin as he reads a scroll

- Has reading glasses that he 100% can pull on

- Will literally die for you, if your a ninja and both on the same mission he is jumping in front of you no matter what

- Proposes immediately after you guys turn 18 (in a plot where you guys are dating/involved since genin)

- If you guys meet during the war/later on in your 20’s, he won’t take long to propose either

- Give you guys a good 2 years dating and he’ll have you with a ring on your finger

- You are his most important person in his life and he makes it well aware to everyone and you included

- Definitely the type of guy to not get scared off easily or give up, any problem you both face will be dealt with and he will never throw away your guys relationship if it gets too hard

- So good at handling a panic attack or mental breakdown

- Will brush your hair out of your face as you cry and sniffle as you rant about whatever had upset you and he has this genuine look in his eyes as he just nods and listens

- (I want him so bad 😕)

[teletubbyinlipstick]

Something something along the lines of king!Soap negotiating for you, a servant instead of ending the war or the princess’ hand in marriage or whatever bc Royal Guard!Ghost said you were pretty

[teletubbyinlipstick]

Soap who has never been causal about anything in his life trying his fucking hardest to find a way to lock down his “just for fun. Not looking for a relationship” hookup. But when the cute outfits and matching lingerie sets turn into comfy clothes and normal underwear and they finally agree to let him order take out and eat together he knows he’s got ‘em right where he wants them

[teletubbyinlipstick]

Big men stupidly quiet on their feet

This is self indulgent bc my first reaction to being startled is to throw hands (thank you older brothers for sneaking up on me and making this a habit that stuck)

141 + Konig

Price turned the corner the same time you did. Neither of you knew the other was coming until a scream followed with a solid gut punch had Price stumbling back. Apologies flowing from you as the Captain was gasping for air trying to regain composure. “Where’d you learn to hit that hard?!?”

Kyle took a full on slap to the face when you turned around and he was right there. Both of you just stared at the other after the loud sound smack. His hand slowly raising to rub the burning skin on his cheek. “Please don’t tell me this is going to be a habit of yours.”

Johnny deserved it. Man was purposefully trying to sneak up and scare you. Quiet feet and body ducked down as he made his way to you. Jumping out and yelling “boo” only to be met with the crack of his nose under your knuckles and blood pouring down. “Fuck Johnny m’sorry” your hands covering your mouth, just as surprised by your action as he was. “Will you marry me?” Maybe reset the broken nose first.

Simon was standing right in front of a door as you opened it and same as Johnny, your fist instinctively went flying for his face. “Bloody hell” his head ducked to the side just barely dodging the same fate his Sargent had encountered.

Konig was waiting so patiently behind you for you to finish pouring your tea so he could pour his. An unintentional throat clear came from him and suddenly your hand holding the kettle went flying up high enough to shatter on the side of his head. Large body hitting the ground with a thud. Konig woke up maskless to you holding an ice back to the bleeding head wound you had given him (bonus points if this was the first time you saw him without he mask)