tellmecauseimbreakingdown

[tellmecauseimbreakingdown]

Visions of you on a motorcycle drive by, the cigarette ash flies in your eyes and you don’t mind. You smile, and say the world doesn’t fit with you. I don’t believe you, you’re so serene, careening through the universe, your axis on a tilt, you’re guiltless and free, I hope you take a piece of me with you.

[tellmecauseimbreakingdown]

From some of our earliest pictures to the most recent.. the last two years with you have been incredible. We may have our ups and downs but no matter what you’re the one I want to fall asleep next to every night and the one I want to wake up next to in the morning 😘 I love you and I’m looking forward to another great year 😍

[tellmecauseimbreakingdown]

Happy to say I bought my first car on my own 🤗 so happy to end the year on a positive note 😍

[tellmecauseimbreakingdown]

Happy birthday to my best friend ❤️ I hope your day is as great as you are love 😘

[tellmecauseimbreakingdown]

My best friend ❤️ (at River Street)

[tellmecauseimbreakingdown]

Two years ago I blessed Lord Stanley and now my boys are back to back Stanley cup champions. You're welcome 😉

[tellmecauseimbreakingdown]

Watching all of these happy people go on about Mother’s Day is hard when you lost a baby. I hate this day, I really do. But at the same time I feel like at least one person telling me ‘happy mother’s day’ would be appropriate

[tellmecauseimbreakingdown]

Yesterday the stupid word prediction thing on my phone suggested miscarriage when I just wanted to say movie. I can't tell you how broken I felt in that moment. Everyone is happy and celebrating Mother's Day and my heart was shattered. I'd never wish that on anyone.

[tellmecauseimbreakingdown]

To all the teens

To all the teens that have gotten pregnant

To the teens who have Miscarried, and whether you were happy or sad about it, I’m here for you

To the teens who got pregnant and had an abortion, whether you regret it or not, I’m here for you

To the teens that got pregnant and carried the pregnancy to term, whether you gave it up for adoption for raised, whether you regret it or not, I am here for you

To the teen parents, I am here for you and I care about you

[tellmecauseimbreakingdown]

If you’ve had a miscarriage:

- It wasn’t your fault. I promise. - Your body isn’t “wrong” or “unnatural”. Loss is a very natural part of life and it’s unfair but you aren’t “wrong”. - Take your time to grieve. It will hurt but it will get better each day. - There are millions of people out there who’ve faced exactly what you are facing. - Support is everywhere, you just have to look. Someone cares, I promise you. - Everything will be okay 💕 your little angel is watching over you. - If you need to talk, I’m always here!

[tellmecauseimbreakingdown]

No one tells you

No one tells you that it’s a possibility. No one tells you that it will make an impact on your life. No one tells you that it’s an excruciating pain. No one tells you that you will feel like your heart has been ripped out. No one tells you that you’ll feel empty. No one tells you that you’ll resent your spouse. No one tells you that it will eat you alive. No one tells you that you’ll spend nights blaming yourself. No one tells you that your eyes will produce never ending tears. No one tells you that the days will go slow. No one tells you that you’ll cry whenever and wherever. No one tells you that you’ll lose your faith. No one tells you that your mind will be consumed. No one tells you that seeing one child can ruin your day. No one tells you that eventually everyone will go on with their life except you. No one tells you that it will hit you when you least expect it. No one tells you that you will lose your motivation. No one tells you how hard it is to try again. No one tells you that you’ll become jealous of those who have what you don’t. No one tells you that it’s okay to cry. No one tells you to take your time. No one tells you that it’s okay to not want to get out of bed some days. No one tells you how long you’ll be stuck. No one tells you that you will never be the same. No one tells you how traumatizing it is. No one tells you that in the back of your mind, you’ll ask ‘why?’ and ‘what if?’. No one tells you that it’s a long journey to recovery.

No one tells you that losing a child will be so hard.

They just don’t.

[tellmecauseimbreakingdown]

Please do not

open your mouth about miscarriage if you don’t know anything about it.

It is not “just like a period”.

It is not something that “you can just try again”.

It is physical AND emotional pain.

It is a fluctuation in hormones.

It is waiting. 

It is your body expelling something that should have a life and future.

It is possibly having to take medication to open your cervix so that your body will start the “natural process”.

It is seeing your future physically fall out of you, or a hospital room because your body couldn’t correctly do the job and now the doctor will do it for you.

It is bleeding for days/weeks on end.

It is depression.

It is worrying about infection.

It is trauma.

It is waiting to be allowed to be intimate with your partner again.

It is never wanting to to be intimate again.

It is blood draws and HCG level testing.

It is a follow up gynecological appointment, and physical exam from a stranger when you don’t want anyone near that fragile part of your body.

It is possibly another ultrasound… of your now empty belly.

It is possibly the need for surgery.

It is crying on the bathroom floor feeling like your body failed you.

It is months of waiting for your cycle to regulate so you can “just try again”.

It is never forgetting the excitement, the waiting in the ultrasound room, the horrible news, the images, the pain, the due date, and the fact that you SHOULD be a mother to that child but you will never be.

And no other pregnancy, no other baby, will ever replace the one that should have been but is not.

It is never being able to truly feel excited when you become pregnant again. Because this never leaves you, and this could happen again.

It is NOT just like a period.

[tellmecauseimbreakingdown]

Mother’s Day is hard when you’ve got little ones in Heaven. It’s hard, but you try to ground yourself in Him and in His promises and in His plan for your life. It’s hard, but you’re blessed with the best mom anyone could ever ask for, and so you’re grateful for that and for her. It’s hard, but you’ve got friends who think of you and get you a gift. It’s hard, but you get handed a flower in church even though you’re not standing with the rest of the mothers to receive a flower. It’s hard, but you’ve got family, but you’ve got friends, but you’ve got Him.

[tellmecauseimbreakingdown]

I saw you at your worst and I never even fucking thought about leaving you.

[tellmecauseimbreakingdown]

best of tumblr: harry potter

this is a fandom one cannot simply leave

(no post is made by lil’ ol’ me, hmu if you want yours removed)

[tellmecauseimbreakingdown]

I would reallyyyyyy appreciate it if these could stop popping up every week. I'm not 23 weeks. I won't be 23 weeks. Ugh.

[tellmecauseimbreakingdown]

Lyric change!