tellmeursecretsxx

[tellmeursecretsxx]

i think women should get to be a little bit morally corrupt or perhaps even wicked sometimes. as a treat

[tellmeursecretsxx]

Reblog or your mom will die in 928 seconds.

I love my mom.

I am risking nothing

I AM SORRY FOLLOWERS, I LOVE MY MOMMY

Will not risk.

sorry followers :(

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[tellmeursecretsxx]

For more posts like these, go to @mypsychology​

[tellmeursecretsxx]

1983 c. h. (au)

15: probably succeed Calum held onto Charlie's bony hand as she was unconscious in the hospital. He didn't know what happened to her and why her mom called him sounding frantic. He prayed that she would wake up soon and he could stare into her beautiful hazel eyes that he had fallen in love with. And shortly after, his prayers were answered. Charlie woke up and her first sight was Calum. "Hi." He squeezed her hand hoping that she could forgive him. "Hi." She answered back not knowing what the hell he was doing here. And why she was in a hospital bed. "What time is it? Where are my parents?" "It's 1 in the morning. And your parents are back at home. Charlie what happened? Why did you snap? I thought that I'd lost you." Calum held back the tears in his eyes. "What do you mean?" Charlie sat up straight struggling with the blankets. "Your mom called me. She sounded really worried that you were dead. She said that you were passed out with a bottle of painkillers in your hand. Charlie why would you do this?" Charlie shook her head. "That's not what happened. I didn't try to kill myself. If I did I would probably succeed." "Then why are we here." "After I went home my mom and I started talking. And then fighting. About you." Calum inhaled sharply and nodded letting her know she can continue in the story. "She was telling me that I can't trust you because I had discovered that she lied about the whole depression and Liv thing. She told me that you're dangerous and that I shouldn't be so comfortable with you." "I am dangerous and you shouldn't be comfortable. But I wouldn't ever hurt you." "And then she started throwing stuff at me. And I don't remember anything after getting hit with a frying pan. And now we're here." Charlie laid back down still looking at Calum. She couldn't believe this. "How long have I been here?" "Almost two days. Or that's what your mom told me." Charlie sighed and then swallowed. "Charlie. I'm so sorry. I just thought it would be best if you didn't know about the whole Liv thing. And I just don't want you finding out about me yet. It's just, it's a dangerous game that I've gotten myself into. And I just really want a way out. And I thought that I lost you. But I'm glad that I didn't." "There isn't anything special about me." "Charlie. You don't see it do you?" "See what?" "There's something about you. There's a spark inside of you. That I absolute love. You're a fighter. I love how you're different from all the other girls. You don't care about looking sexy or about how many guys you've slept with. And I think that is something that you don't find in anyone anymore. You're beautiful." Calum tucked a strand of hair behind her hair. Then his lips pressed themselves to Charlie's forehead. "I have to go. The doctors don't want me here too long. I'll see you around Charlie." And without a word from her, Calum left. *** Charlie was out a week later after recovering from the beating. She walked to the back of the music store with all the books. The little bell above the door chimed and in walked Calum. She turned toward his direction and smiled. "Hi." She spoke first. Charlie was feeling a lot better because she didn't endure her mother's wrath for more than a week which is a record. But the second she goes home it's gonna happen again. "How are you feeling?" "I'm feeling a lot better." Charlie nodded and smiled small. "I just don't want to go home." "Why not?" "Because the second I do, it's gonna happen again." "How do you know?" "Because its been more than a week almost. That's like a new record. I just know." She shrugged and sat on a stool letting her feet dangle. Calum didn't know what to say to that. "Can you tell me a secret?" "What do you want to know?" "Something that you aren't telling me?" "Only if you do. " "Deal." "I haven't really slept with half of San Francisco." Calum looked down to his feet and then back up to Charlie. "I haven't cut myself in 12 days." Charlie tried to smile proudly but couldn't. "You cut yourself?" Calum furrowed his eyebrows confused that she would do such a thing. Charlie nodded and rolled up her sleeves and showed him the evidence confirming the truth. "And you haven't done it for 12 days." "It's not just my wrists. I used to cut my thighs too. But I managed to stop." Charlie nodded. "I have to trust that you can keep this my secret." "You can trust me. I won't tell anyone about this." Calum brought her wrists up to his lips and he kissed her softly. Charlie knew that she had forgiven him of his faults but she was unsure as to where that put them. But she didn't want to question him because he wasn't really good with answering. "I don't know much about you." Charlie blurted without thinking a habit she tried to control when she was around Calum. "What do you want to know?" "Why won't you introduce me to your friends?" "Because you already know Ashton and Michael." "But not Luke." "You and Luke wouldn't click quite well." "That's not a very good reason." Charlie folded her arms across her chest and rose an eyebrow annoyed. "Tell me why." "It doesn't matter. What does matter right now is your plans for when your shift is over." "I was just gonna go home and probably get hit with a vase." Charlie shrugged and then got back to what she was doing before her boss came out and saw that she was fooling around with a possible customer. "Well forget getting abused. You and me are going to my job." "You have a job?" Charlie turned back to Calum clearly not expecting this. Why would Calum need a job? "Yes I have a job. Just because I'm Calum Hood doesn't mean that I am any less of a teenager than all of the teenagers." He rolled his eyes at Charlie's curiousness and lack of knowledge. "Oh right. I just, thought that you wouldn't need one." Charlie mentally slapped herself in the face for being so stupid. Her cheeks turned red at her dumbness and she coughed awkwardly. "Okay so are you down?" "Only if I can meet Luke afterwards." Calum threw his head back in exhaustion. "Come on Cal please." She grabbed his hands and pulled on them. "It'll be fun." "What's so fun about meeting a blond giraffe." "I didn't know that Luke is really an animal. And I also didn't know that you were Asian." Charlie laughed at hers and Ashton's inside joke. "Oh my god I'm not Asian." "Yeah and you haven't slept with half of San Fran either." ( truth be told i miss you. truth be told im lying.)

[tellmeursecretsxx]

i’m his daughter, but he’s not my real dad

Bunbury Music Festival || June 4, 2017 || 📸 Christian Sarkine

[tellmeursecretsxx]

[tellmeursecretsxx]

Queen of staying positive and validating emotions in the face of fat phobic assholes.

[tellmeursecretsxx]

[tellmeursecretsxx]

Happy April 25th everyone

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my mom has a tiny violin she plays whenever me or my siblings complain about stupid stuff

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[tellmeursecretsxx]

People 2016: “Electing Trump as president won’t cause that much of a change.You’re overreacting”

People 2017: “Trump is ruining America oh my god this isn’t what I voted for!!!!”

Me:

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[tellmeursecretsxx]

1983 c.h. (au)

14: would you tell me the truth Charlie was visiting the cemetery with Liv again but she didn't talk to her. She finally got around to reading her diary that held all the answers according to Phoenix. She sat on a bench under a shady tree because it was quite got and humid that day in San Fran. Her eyes dragged lazily over the words written on the paper that seemed to flow together. She had read a numerous amount of diary entries but hasn't come across one that had mention of Calum. Up until now. It was the second to last one that was in the book. The warm September air blew Charlie's hair and the pages turned. January 25th, 2014 I had went to a party last night this time without Charlie. She demanded that she would study because of a big test coming. Unlike me, I couldn't care any less about school. I'm always the one to turn up. But this time was different. Unlike my usual, dress like classy trash to make the other sluts feel bad about themselves to get laid, I wish I hadn't gone to that party. I probably wouldn't care if I was drunk but clearly that wasn't the case. I did my usual routine of getting laid by fresh meat. His name is Calum Hood. I was absolutely waiting for an opportunity to catch someone like him. He ruled with an iron fist and if anyone didn't know everything in our generation is about sex. Except sex. Sex is about power. And it was amazing. But I wasn't emotionally connected and I regret sleeping with him because he was drunk and won't remember probably and when I woke up he was gone. I know what you guys are thinking. Don't tell Charlie because she's gonna go apeshit because A: she's still a virgin and B: this is Calum Hood. I should probably go. Later haters. Love Always, Olivia x Charlie touched the words on the paper with such shock. Her best friend had slept with Calum Hood and all this time she didn't know about it. She had always thought that Olivia wouldn't ever keep anything like this from her. Charlie shook her head in disbelief. The wind turned the next page for her and she read on. February 4th, 2014 Now I seriously regret it. In my 17 years I never thought that I would have made this big of a mistake. I'm such a fuck up. Why did I go to that stupid party? Why did I let my body and my hormones take over me? What am I gonna do now? Calum isn't the type to take care of a child. I know that enough. The only reason why he is the way he is now is because his girlfriend got in a car accident on her way back from the hospital. She was pregnant with his child and she died not too long ago. I feel so bad what am I gonna tell him? What would Charlie think? How am I gonna tell her that I had a ons with Calum Hood and then apparently got pregnant because of it. This is absolutely terrible. I have to go figure something out. I can't live on like this. Love Always, Olivia x Charlie's eyes swelled with tears as realization hit her. Olivia wasn't depressed to the point of death. She was a happy go lucky person. She's in the grave now because of Calum. With bitterness in her veins she read the last thing that Olivia wrote to her. Dear Charlie, This is going to be hard to admit to you and I need you to be open minded okay? Can you do that? I'm sorry that you found me the way that you did but I need to tell you the truth. I wasn't on my period at all the time that I was being a bitch. And I didn't have food poisoning from our favourite sushi place. Please don't be mad or upset because I'm leaving you and never coming back. But you deserve to know the truth. The truth is that I'm not depressed or sad or that someone put me like this. I'm pregnant with Calum Hood's baby. Charlie I am so sorry that I'm leaving you. And I'm probably going to hell for killing myself because that's what God said. I was probably going to hell anyway because I was such a bad person. Charlie I want you to know that this isn't any of your fault. If I would've have listened to you and not went to that party I would be alive right now next to you and we would've had a dance party to 1983. Charlotte Elizabeth Carters you have no absolute idea that I hate that I'm doing this. I will always be in your heart. Always. I love you Char. Ill be watching over you. Don't miss me too much. One more time I love you. Ill see you on the other side. Because I'm almost sure that I'm going to heaven. Love Always and Forever More, Olivia Callie Schreave-Porters. Charlie sat there clutching the paper with Liv's final words and looked behind her to Liv's grave. All this time that has passed. All this time. Charlie couldn't control all of the emotions inside of her. She sank down into the ground on her knees and cried like a baby. Just then Calum had spotted her crying again and he ran up to her. "Charlie what's wrong." He put an arm around her but she slapped it away. "Don't touch me! I'm fine." Calum rose an eyebrow clearly not getting the big picture. "No you're not. Tell me what's wrong." "What's wrong is that everyone was telling me what was right and I didn't want to believe it." Charlie's crying slowed down and she stood up promptly getting away from Calum. "I thought we were past this." Calum ran a hand through his hair. "And I thought that my best friend was depressed and that's why she killed herself. That's not the case." "Charlie what the fuck are you talking about?" "Tell me how long that you knew why Olivia hung herself." "I didn't know that it wasn't because of depression." "Don't lie to me! Tell me how long!" Charlie's anger grew to a new extreme as she started bubbling over. She shouted in rage at him clearly pissed. "I didn't know until now." "Calum Hood so help me god if you lie to me one more time you will be in a grave just like Olivia." Charlie's eyes grew wide and almost grew red. She was furious and Calum didn't know what would happen. He took a deep breath silently praying that Charlie wouldn't kill him. "I knew since the moment I heard about her death. I knew before anyone else. I kept this from you because I wasn't sure how you would react. I never meant to hurt you." "That's bullshit. You had me thinking that I could trust you. Giving me gifts. Making me think that we had something." Charlie started pacing rapidly. "Charlie-" "But all this time. I should have listened to everyone else." "Charlie stop." He reached out for her waist. "No don't touch me. I've been lied to by you for long enough. Olivia died because you can't keep your dick in your pants." "Yeah but you seem eager to get out your clothes too." A lazy smirk rested on Calum's face and it took every fiber in Charlie not to slap it off. "Fuck you." "Charlie. Are you sure you want to anger me?" "Oh I'm sure. Honestly Calum, you are just like everyone says. I was just too naïve and wrapped around your fingers to see it. But I see it now. You boned Liv got her pregnant and that's the only reason why she's dead. It's because of you." "She could've controlled herself.Its just as much of her fault as it is mine." "But it doesn't matter!" Charlie pulled her hair from her roots and started crying again. "I don't have my best friend because of you. Why would you do this to me? I hate you." "Charlie if there was one thing in my life that I would never want to do it would be to hurt you. Thats why I don't tell you certain things.I get it okay. I really do. You're angry-" "No I'm beyond angry. I'm fucking pissed." "And I'm sorry because of it. Please find it in your heart to forgive me. Regardless of what anyone says, I know that I'm in love with you. And I know the feelings are the same. Let me make this up to you." "Leave me alone Calum." Charlie backed away, and then ran away from Calum and his lies. From Olivia and her secret. From everything. Charlie covered her face with her hands as she ran and knocked straight into Ashton. "Oh I'm so sorry." "No worries Charlie." She looked up into his greenish gold eyes and wiped her face. "Why are you crying?" "Calum." "What did he do?" Ashton crossed his arms over his chest not knowing the severity of what happened. Ashton lead her into an almost empty tea shop and ordered Chamomile and Lavender. They sat down next to the window as the last streams of sunlight died down giving a dark orangish tint to the sky. "So um as almost everyone at our school knows. Olivia killed herself because we thought she was depressed." "She was depressed." Charlie shook her head. "That's what everyone thought. What really happened was that Calum got her pregnant." Charlie broke eye contact with Ashton and looked down to her lap trying not to cry even more. "Oh. When was he going to tell us this?" Ashton crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back in his seat. "He wasn't. I only found out because I finally got around to reading her diary." Charlie picked at her nails a habit that she was trying desperately to give up. "Oh. I'm so sorry Charlie. You must be devastated finding out that news." "It doesn't matter. Olivia is dead and Calum and I weren't together anyway." Charlie shrugged then slumped into her seat looking out the window watching taxis and cars and other people pass her by. "I mean it doesn't mean anything right? It's not like we were together officially. I don't even think if he wanted to be in a relationship with me." "Why do you think that?" Charlie looked up to Ashton taking a sip of the steaming water flavored with spices. "It's because we never talked about it and he seemed to be falling off the planet there." Charlie shrugged and looked back to her lap. She didn't know what else to say to Ashton because she was still pretty upset. "I'm just really mad at him. I'm mad at myself." "Why are you mad at yourself?" "Because I should've listened to what Phoenix and my mom was telling me. And everyone else that I mentioned him to. I mean, if I wasn't so stubborn, I wouldn't feel so..." "Heartbroken?" "Yeah I think that's it. It feels kinda empty inside." Charlie's phone rang only to find her mom calling. "Oh I gotta go Ashton. Thanks for this though." Charlie stood up and answered quickly. "Yes mom?" "Charlotte? Where are you. It's almost dark out. Are you with that Calum boy again?" "No mother I'm not. I'm on my way home. I was visiting Liv and then I was talking with Ashton." Charlie walked towards where home was. The streets were quiet and empty surprisingly. "I will see you in a few minutes." "Charlotte. I expect you to be here in 10 minutes." "Okay." Charlie ended the call and pushed her phone in her back pocket. Charlie couldn't believe everything that had happened. She was quietly crying to herself the whole way home. She let herself in and said a quick prayer hoping her mom wasn't in a pissy mood. Charlie's bruises and welts from last time had just finally gone away and she didn't want more. "Mom I'm home." "Charlotte come here." Charlie walked slowly to the sound of her mom. "Are you okay darling. You're crying what's wrong?" Charlie wiped her face with the backs of her hands. "I went to see Olivia. And I read her journal finally getting some answers." "And?" Charlie's mom rose an eyebrow. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I had found out the reason why Olivia is dead. She wasn't depressed greatly like you told me she was." Charlie's mom's eyes went wide with realization that her daughter found out the truth. "Olivia is dead because Calum Hood had accidentally gotten her pregnant. And she decided that it would be best to kill herself." "Oh. Charlotte. I'm so sorry." She tried to pull her in for a hug. Charlie pushed her off. "No please don't do that mom. You lied to me for what reason? You thought that maybe I'd be safe?" Charlie's eyebrows furrowed confused and angry and hurt. "You thought that If I knew that Liv was depressed that it would be fine. But it's not. Calum Hood got her pregnant and that's why she was hanging from a tree. It's over mom. She's dead and there's nothing we can do." "Everything I did was to protect you." "Of what?" "That's not the only reason why I don't want you around Calum Hood. That boy. He's not telling you everything that he should be. If I tell you, you won't believe me." Charlie couldn't believe this. "He's older than what he says he is. This isn't a game. This is dangerous." Charlie remembered to when Calum brought her home. He wasn't letting her go home alone at that time of night. He's almost everywhere and knows her every move. "I don't believe it. This is Calum. I can expect the whole Liv ordeal. But he isn't older than 17. He can't be. We're both seniors." Charlie started to back away slowly. "Charlotte I'm not lying. I would never hurt you." "Say that to my bruises." Charlie was beyond pissed and didn't want to entertain her mom's ridiculousness. Charlie made the fatal mistake of turning her back. And soon random kitchen things were thrown at her over and over again. Spatulas. Knives. Wooden spoons. The knives cut her skin making her bleed. And then a frying pan collided with the back of her head. Charlie didn't remember anything besides hitting the floor.

[tellmeursecretsxx]

1983 c.h. (au)

Chapter 13: irwin party 

Charlie found herself watching Ashton practice his twerking while listening to the gayest playlist possible. She hasn't attended one of his Irwin Parties in a while. To be completely honest she missed Ashton. He came back sweaty and tired from twerking so much and Charlie laughed at him for actually giving it his all. "What the hell was that?"

"That was you enjoying my beautiful ass shaking in the air for a continuous half hour." He collapsed on the couch exhausted. "I should have waited for Cliffaconda to show up for our Irwin Party. I mean he lives here practically. Even the doorknob smells like him."

"Why are you smelling the doorknob?" When Charlie hung out with Ashton a lot more right when Liv passed, she was getting to be a good friend with Michael. "Anyway, what do you want to talk about?"

"I wanna talk about you and CalPal." Ashton shot up immediately from his almost dead state. He happened to be a sucker for gossip and love and romance. He watched Charlie smile. "Aww you're smiling. That's cute. When are you guys gonna get together officially I mean. You totally should." He plastered on a artificial white girl accent that made him sound more gay than Tyler Oakley. Note: There is nothing wrong with being gay.

"That's the problem. I don't think we will get together Ash." Charlie slouched. "You already know how strict my madre is." Charlie rolled her eyes and Ashton went back to his half dead state.

"I hope this doesn't offend you but I really hate your mom. She can suck my ass. I don't understand why she wants to keep you away from Calum. She wants for you to be happy and Calum makes you happy. But she won't approve of it for whatever reason." Ashton half shrugged and half groaned still tired from all the twerking.

"Yeah I know. And it's not just her. It's Phoenix as well. I mean he gave me Liv's diary to read because all of the answers are in there."

"Liv is the best friend that died right?" Ashton was particularly new in the twisted web of friends and wanted to get everything straight.

"Yeah."

"And Phoenix is the guy that wants to be Pete Wentz."

"Yeah that's him." Charlie rolled her eyes at Ash's comparison. "Anyway he gave me her diary like it was nothing. But it clearly is something. She was my best friend and he was hiding her secrets from me all this time. I could've figured out why she did what she did." Charlie started to rage at Phoenix's sneakiness.

"I'm sorry but this isn't season 4B of PLL. Did you read it yet?"

"No I'm doing everything I possibly can to get away from my house. It took me a lot to come here. I had to say that I was going to meet you at the music store and then we were studying at your house just for this stupid Irwin Party."

"You're only calling it stupid because Calum isn't here. You wouldn't be acting as if you're on your period if he were here and you can't say that you are because you gave me schedule that shows me when not to piss you off." Ashton stood and placed his hands on his hips authoritatively.

"Umm. That's like borderline stalker and creepy. Can you not?"

"Can I not what?"

"Just can you not jump to conclusions." Charlie leaned back on his couch and her phone pinged next to her. She groaned as she saw it was her mom. "Speaking of the devil. I gotta go Ash. If I'm not home in the next 15 minutes then she's gonna think that we were doing things that we shouldn't be doing."

"Oh my god. You and Calum had sex and you didn't tell me?" Ashton slapped his hands on his cheeks and his gold-green eyes bulged widely.

"Why does everyone keep saying that?"

"Because this is Calum Hood were talking about Charlie. Like Calum Hood is the San Fran equal of Queen Elizabeth."

"Since when the fuck was Calum British?"

"He's not. He's Asian." Ashton couldn't contain his laughter and Charlie joined along with him.

"I better go my mom will explode. Oh and Ill definitely tell him that he's Asian since I'm almost sure he didn't know that." Charlie calmed herself down enough to start to leave the short and very dry Irwin Party.

"No don't leave me Charlie." Ashton pulled her in for a hug but she pushed him away because of his sweatiness.

"Gross."

"If I were Calum you wouldn't be pulling away from me because of my sweat."

"If you were Calum I would probably oblige."

"If I were Calum you would probably lick the sweat off like a lollipop."

"This is why you don't have a girlfriend."

"No I don't have a girlfriend because I'm a demi sexual and most girls don't want a demi sexual man."

"What the fuck does demi sexual mean?"

"Demi sexual means that you aren't sexual but you still are. The prefix demi means half so halfway between asexual and sexual."

"Since when the fuck weren't you a virgin?"

"I'm a demi sexual for a reason. But oh my god I met this girl at Starbucks. She's beautiful but I don't really think that I'm giving up my virginity to someone like her. I mean I get that it's kinda hot and we live in San Francisco but wear some damn pants god. Some people just don't like clothes." Ashton shook his head letting go of Charlie finally.

"Yeah. Well umm I'm gonna go. Have fun trying to find someone." Charlie excused herself from the Irwin party.

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