telluric-knight - Tumblr blog

[telluric-knight]

pissy customers don't even phase me i have a degradation kink you should be embarrassed this doesn't even turn me on

[telluric-knight]

who's with me

[telluric-knight]

[telluric-knight]

[telluric-knight]

Kar'niss

[telluric-knight]

Edit Note: I'm really amazed by how much love this post got. Guess it just shows we're all in the same boat. I do have other humorous writing memes on this tumblr under the same tag, if you're interested. Never give up writing! ❤️

Edit Note 2: I can't believe this has reached 10000+ notes. Been on tumblr for almost ten years (different account) and nothing like this has ever happened before. Thank you! 😊

[telluric-knight]

Gimme all ur boopins!!!

[telluric-knight]

[telluric-knight]

there’s a decent amt of neurologists who’ve called the sleep schedules we’re obligated to be on despite flagrant conflict with our natural circadian rhythms “borderline torture” and the work hours we’re expected to put in despite the fact that the average person can only maintain maximal efficiency and focus for 3 hours at a time “nearly inhumane” and i think about that a lot

[telluric-knight]

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[telluric-knight]

[telluric-knight]

Tbh of all the modern things you could show a medieval peasant to freak them out my favourite will always be an angler fish. You introduce angler fish to a medieval Europe and it will immediately become the most popular depiction of the seductive danger of sin. Just in time for the renaissance paintings

[telluric-knight]

1930s news about a trans woman: Well I'll be curfuffled young Corlotta Jhonson has transformed herself from a dandy into a dame and what a Bombshell she's become. And How!

1930s news about trans men: Wanted dead or alive this young lady who started wearing trousers, the tomboy terror known only as The Crust is wanted for snorting the President's personal stash of opium and has slain nearly every senate member in a pistol duel.

[telluric-knight]

[telluric-knight]

it obviously makes sense, but one of my friend’s kids is going into swim class, and all the parents got an email today going, “when little ones are scared, they cling on to instructors. PLEASE trim their nails.” 

i don’t know why that’s so funny to me, but just. the idea of this poor, scratched swim instructor having to make sure to email before each class as a reminder to please declaw the children SENT me.