temporaryescapefromlife

[temporaryescapefromlife]

I hate going home. I would rather spend 1-2 more hours out.

Everyday I am reminded of problems. 

Problems I did want or make. 

Inherited problems.  

Why do we have to worry about the problems left and created by the dead? Have we done much to repent greatly — to deal with such struggles and pain. 

When will it end? 

Each year despite all efforts to move forward, nothing is ever enough. Year after year, it seems as though the only constant thing is to go one level down.

Why have children when you did not even plan ahead. More so, why have children when you have forgotten to even sustain and take care of yourself? It frustrates me knowing parents of my friends can renovate their house freely, travel with their whole family at their whim, using the money they have saved. While we do not even have a house we can call OUR OWN nor a steady pool of savings to run into for basic necessities.

I hate it. I hate this. I hate my thoughts.

Knowing I can do so much more.

The guilt of knowing you can afford all the things that you want but your family cannot. 

The feeling and pressures of familial obligation.

      Worrying where to get the money. Constantly checking your account if you have enough that can be borrowed for household expenses, when that time comes.

      The stress of making sure every Peso is budgeted, well allocated for.

You having to borrow money from others. The sense of smallness the deed brings; riddled with anxiety if the other camp cannot help. 

Being short on cash.

     Having experienced maxing the deadline of tuition payments to the point wherein I was almost dropped mid term. Knowing shifting degrees will incur charges and more time which will require to get money we do even have.

     The feeling of chains when uncertainty hits. No matter how hard you plan to set your own future ahead. It will remain a plan — no more than a sketch in the drawing board. Something comes along and you cannot follow through anymore. 

You can never understand all of it. 

Listen as hard as you want but you will not get it. You say you listen but you really do not — you will only conjure up how YOU understood the situation.

[temporaryescapefromlife]

“Ten years from now, make sure you can say that you chose your life, you didn’t settle for it.”

— (via chasmic)

[temporaryescapefromlife]

Why? Why? Why?

[temporaryescapefromlife]

It’s hard to have a positive outlook on life when you’re surrounded by all this negativity and you can’t find a way to escape it. It seems as though, no matter how hard you try to make things better somehow the negativity trails behind you waiting for the right moment to pounce.

[temporaryescapefromlife]

I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I’m awake, you know?

Ernest Hemingway (via wordsnquotes)

[temporaryescapefromlife]

I don’t grow up. In me is the small child of my early days.

M.C. Escher (via wnq-art)

[temporaryescapefromlife]

Are you living or are you existing?

Funny thing how your life can turn out based from the consequences of other people’s actions. All your hopes of following your dream or your plan of figuring things out; gone. Those things are now considered a luxury. The pressure of earning for a living and surviving becomes top priority.

I hate the societal notion that everything revolves around money. Nothing is free, everything and anything has a price. It’s a depressing reality that some people live in. Once you get out of school you are faced with this idea and it’s etched in your mind. You live it. A person full of hope and dreams has been emptied. People bend over backwards just to earn enough to support themselves. You’re immobilised because you don’t have enough to do what you want.