temptxtionmxgic

[temptxtionmxgic]

we all got that one homie with a job thats weirder than everyone else in the group and when you’re all complaining about customer service he’s like “yeah i hate when they bleed on the chain and it gets all stickyyy” and you’re like huh?? and he just keeps going like “and they always scream when you bring out the rack” and you’re like hey do you work in a medieval dungeon what do you do? “oh i just do maintenance” and dodges the question every time but one time you were driving near his apartment and you saw him getting out of his car and he still had the executioner hood on and he was dragging a morningstar behind him across the pavement and it was making this horrible grinding sound loud as fuckkkkkk

[temptxtionmxgic]

an early twenties girl asked if she could vape in my car and i said no and she was like 'wow.. thank you for communicating and being honest...'

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Hi. Angel on your shoulder here. It's totally ok to kill that guy

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One day I woke up and everybody knew what a labubu was

[temptxtionmxgic]

im joining the war on gross disgusting pornographic content on the side of gross disgusting pornographic content

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Anybody else have a growing fear of updating their tech cuz everything seems to be getting worse and worse

[temptxtionmxgic]

Let’s bring Flash development back so 14 year olds can create extremely violent and greasy minigames about eviscerating Labubu and upload them to Newgrounds.

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[temptxtionmxgic]

[staggering to my feet and wiping a single perfect drip of blood from my mouth] i have to get back on my bullshit. no matter the cost

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All these big companies changing their logos a dozen of times for something that looks worse every time, while the real all-time GOAT found the winning formula on the first try and then even did a victory lap with it:

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people aren't even getting a little bit genghis khan anymore. you guys used to love getting a little bit genghis khan

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typing "[popular IP] wallpaper" into google will get you some of the worst images ever made by anyone ever

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My mom: “my sweet, it’s time to go to bed”

Me (27): “okay mom, just one more video”

Mom: “fine… but only one, it’s late” (9pm)

Me: *sneakily laughing* “yeah, right… only one” ;)