tessarichardss

[tessarichardss]

xandermrgn​:

How are you feeling? An answer that he was currently searching for himself. On one hand, he still feels pretty crappy from the weight of the week crushing him more and more each day; and in all honesty? He just felt weak. If there’s one thing Alex didn’t like, it was feeling weak, and unable to do anything about it — he wants to feel better, but it seems like all he can do is run away, fill himself with substances until he simply just cannot feel anymore… or lay in bed for days, sleeping the hours away until he finally decides to take a shower and feel okay again. But then, he realizes that some of that weight was lifted — if only just a little, he felt better. It might be because he was held by Tessa all night long, and she let him cry and cry and cry until he was forced to feel better… the way her fingers felt through his hair, and the way she smelled might be implanted in his mind for the next few days. He was feeling… content, because of her. But he also felt scared – the last time he felt like this about Tessa, he remembers getting crushed, watching her love other men while he stood back and let it all happen in front of him. Well, just as he did a few years ago, he pushed those feelings away, and convinced himself that they weren’t even there to begin with. “Feeling like I need a shower… or two.” he smiles weakly at her, and it might be the first time he smiled at all this past week in general. He thought that he might look a mess at the moment…– messy hair, sleepy and puffy eyes… he can’t even remember if he took out his contact lenses. And he looks at Tessa, wondering how she managed to look even more breathtaking after having just woken up on the couch. “Tess…” his eyes searched hers for a reaction, not knowing what he could say to her – he just bawled his eyes out in front of her and she held him all night long; so what was she thinking? “Can…— would it be possible to pretend like last night never happened?” his immediate reaction was to deflect – if he wasn’t prepared to have a conversation about it with himself, he certainly wasn’t prepared to put it out there with anyone else. 

There was some naive part of her that had thought, or rather hoped, that this was all a bad dream - that the male had simply had a bad night, a bad week, that he had just needed to cry so that in the morning, the Alexander Morgan she had come to know would be back and her nerves could rest. It was childish. A dam had broken and taken a wall he had securely built up with it, a wall he seemed all to eager to replace and she couldn’t even say that she was surprised; how long had she known him, lived with him in some capacity and had yet to see this? But she wouldn’t, she couldn’t, allow him to shut her out of this one. It wasn’t the same as Tali, wasn’t as easy as monitoring the signs of physical health, as simple as making sure pills were taken every morning - this was something she couldn’t take care of, not on her own. “Alex...” Tears were stinging at the backs of her eyes again, her throat welling from the gentleness of his voice, from the look that was practically pleading for her to not acknowledge what had happened. She understood the need to keep people out, the need to keep pieces of oneself tucked away under lock and key but granting him the permission to keep these things away meant she might lose him in more ways than one, and perhaps selfishly, that was a reality she couldn’t face. “Alex...I can’t...” Despite the need she felt to keep herself composed and together, her vision blurred with tears and she quickly straightened her position on the sofa, reaching out to clasp his hand - afraid that if she didn’t keep hold of him, he would truly disappear forever. “I’ve gone to school for this, we can’t...we can’t just pretend something’s not happening here.” Her lips parted but words seemed to escape her, turning away for the briefest of moments in order to draw in a shaky breath, in order to force the question that somehow felt too personal to ask into the air, needing to hear a yes but terrified that she wasn’t going to receive one. “You’re...you are seeing someone about this...right?”

[tessarichardss]

I still remember you as a little girl who overwaters plants because she doesn’t know when to stop giving.

Trista Mateer  (via tristamateer)

[tessarichardss]

@xandermrgn·

[tessarichardss]

[tessarichardss]

xandermrgn·:

   He doesn’t remember how long they stayed like that – maybe ten or so minutes of them on the floor, with Alex releasing everything he can’t seem to get out with words through tears, and Tessa just holding him and trying to comfort him. He doesn’t remember when or how, but when Alex began to calm down a little, they had moved to their couch – Tessa was playing with his hair, and Alex sat there in silence, swimming around in his own head. Absolutely no words were exchanged between the two – maybe just a few here and there, but none of them dared to talk about what had caused this sudden breakdown… and Alex couldn’t be more thankful for Tessa; for her willingness to sit in silence with him, because her presence alone and her fingers running through his hair were enough to calm him down, and make him feel just a little safer. And at some point, Alex began to drift off to sleep; it was the first time in weeks where he actually slept through the night, instead of only getting a an hour or two of sleep. 

   When he woke up, the sun was shining through their large window and onto his face – and for a moment, he was in bliss… he felt well-rested, and for a few seconds, he seemed to forget about last night’s events – he felt Tessa’s arm around him, and a small smile appeared on his lips. It didn’t really last very long; all at once, it seemed to rush back to him, and he suddenly felt sick to his stomach. he looked up, and Tessa seemed to just be waking up as well, watching her eyes flutter open. Alex suddenly began to sit up, and wondered if it would be too much to ask for, to hope that it was all a dream. “Did we really spend the whole night on the couch?” 

There were so many thoughts crashing into each other within her head; words of love and reassurance she wanted to say to him, questions she desperately needed the answers to, apologies he would likely not understand the reasoning for, but she refrained from them all - the same way Addison sometimes needed to simply be held and allowed to express her frustrations through tears, adults did too. It hurt in a way she couldn’t have prepared for, to see him in this state, but she would rather sit on the floor and hold him for days to come than to make him feel that he needed to go elsewhere, to do otherwise, in order to be free of whatever it was that he was feeling. Each minute seemed to drag on for an eternity, blurring into an endless seam and she could only remember being thankful for the moment that his trembling breaths were slowly replaced by heavy ones, that his eyes drifted shut and his body seemed to lose tension. She was thankful because at least for that instant he wasn’t hurting and at least for that instant she could stifle out her own gentle cry, her hand left his hair but only briefly, only long enough to compose herself before returning to the dark locks, not wanting to chance him stirring back out of his slumber.

She didn’t know when she had finally drifted off, having sat frozen in the dark and silent living room as the hours ticked by, at some point, her limbs had become numb with her refusal to budge and eventually, exhaustion took hold of her and forced her eyes shut. It seemed less than an hour later that she felt his weight shift, though she knew it had to have been longer based on the light that had filled the loft around them - either way, she was awake within an instant. Her hands released him despite the temptation she felt not to, only then realizing the heat that had generated from their combined warmth, and while she would normally feel the urge to get up, to shower and get things done, she could only inspect him with a worried gaze. “It would appear so...” She mumbled near inaudibly, for a rare moment unable to find a joke or a jest to hit him with. “How are you feeling?”

[tessarichardss]

[tessarichardss]

ofharu·:

haru stuck his tongue out playfully at tessa . “ oh , you’ll be fine . you don’t need to be sophisticated to taste wine . i mean , look at me . ” the male was clad in a pair of tight black jeans , black stomper boots , and a pink oversized sweatshirt . “ i am not sophisticated either . i just like wine , so , here we are . ” he listens intently at the instructions on how to choose samples , how to properly taste them , and so on and so forth . “ you were my first choice . why would you assume you weren’t ? ”

“I’d disagree slightly. I mean, look at this place; also have you heard the way people talk about wine? Oaked? Full-bodied? You can’t tell me that’s not something rich people pull straight out of their asses to sound like they’re knowledgeable about something interesting.” Admittedly, the truth of the matter was that Tessa simply wasn’t someone with a refined palette when it came to liquor; years spent drinking beers and taking shots of whatever bottle had made it’s way around the party not quite allowing for her to develop taste-buds appreciative of the drink and it’s variations. “I’m more of the girl you call when you need to sample a slice of every single pizza around New York level of class.”

[tessarichardss]

mintho·:

despite   their   shared   anger   brewing   inside   ,   the   two   are   quite   clearly   polar   opposites   .   she   expresses   her   feelings   in   an   almost   extreme   way   ,   whereas   he   buries   every   bit   of   emotion   deep   down   to   appear   dim   enough   ,   therefore   successfully   avoided   .   ‘   you   don’t   need   to   scream   at   the   top   of   your   lungs   to   get   a   message   across   ,   but   i   guess   that’s   another   thing   you’ve   never   been   taught   .   ’   it’s   often   that   he   sees   that   mentality   in   parents   ,   the   need   to   show   off   their   excellent   parenting   skills   ,   even   if   that   is   not   how   they’re   trying   to   come   across   .   in   his   eyes   ,   it’s   much   easier   to   make   assumptions   ,   rather   than   attempt   to   locate   the   root   of   those   feelings   in   his   psyche   .   ‘   well   ,   guess   what   ?   maybe   i   am   miserable   sometimes   and   i   don’t   mean   to   burst   your   bubble   ,   but   at   least   i’m   not   too   shy   to   admit   it   .   no   ,   loneliness   is   not   pleasant   at   all   ,   but   i’m   sure   you   have   your   fair   share   of   it   .   ’   face   falls   only   for   a   second   ,   before   gaze   raises   to   meet   hers   once   more   ,   wondering   whether   it   really   is   his   personality   that   keeps   driving   people   away   without   him   even   realizing   .   it’s   a   constant   battle   he’s   been   fighting   for   the   longest   of   time   and   by   the   looks   of   it   ,   there’s   no   way   out   .   ‘   while   you’re   at   it   ,   thank   god   on   my   behalf   too   .   you   resemble   everything   i   strive   to   get   away   from   and   i’m   damn   lucky   we   are   nothing   alike   .   ’

“My sincerest apologies. It would seem the fact that I was not raised with a silver spoon in my mouth denied me of life’s simple luxuries such as proper lessons in speech and mannerisms - and god forbid, all the wonderful things that money can buy like designer cardigans that can be ruined in such a painfully brief instant.” If the words didn’t make her point obvious enough, her tone dripped with undeniable aversion for everything that the male seemed to represent. She knew, even in that instant, that making such a snap judgement wasn’t fair nor did it include the entirety of who he was; but Tessa was also a firm believer in what a person chose to present to the world mattering. “I understand how us even being in the same place of business must be nauseating for you.” Her attention shifted from the stranger, back to her daughter, collecting the small child with both a thank you and an apology to the staff - though his words had a scoff of laughter entering the air before she had even adjusted her grasp, seeming to smile almost genuinely for the first time since their encounter began. “If I resemble everything you strive to get away from then I truly pity you, my dear.” The toddler took her rightful place back on Tessa’s hip, as casually as if nothing had happened, though she subconsciously noted that it might be more for her own sake than Addison’s that she was there. “Maybe one day you’ll be able to pull your head far enough back into the sunlight to see that there’s people besides yourself and that giving a damn about the way that you and your actions affect them might allow you to experience a sense of fulfillment that the notoriety you’re clearly so desperately seeking can’t.”

[tessarichardss]

rosaliefms·:

           it  was  true  ,  rosie  was  perhaps  one  of  the  most  optimistic  people  around  ,  choosing  to  often  be  hopeful  regardless  of  circumstances  and  so  far  ,  it’d  worked  out  well  for  .  her  judgement  free  persona  kept  her  close  with  many  people  ,  tessa  and  addison  included  ,  having  a  special  fondness  for  the  child  .  children  seemed  to  like  the  brunette  and  she  adored  them  ,  in  another  life  ,  she’s  sure  she’d  be  working  with  them  if  she  could  .  “  well  good  job  on  almost  making  it  through  terrifying  twos  ,  though  i’m  sure  this  one  is  a  ray  of  sunshine  most  days  ,  ”  she  remembers  when  addy  could  be  held  with  one  hand  ,  tiny  as  ever  but  still  perfectly  delicate  in  every  way  and  now  ,  she  was  growing  up  far  too  fast  for  her  liking   ,  each  time  she  saw  her  ,  realisation  hitting  her  that  time  was  flying  right  by   .  the  sound  of  addy’s  voice  initiates  a  wide  smile  ,  always  free  to  spend  some  time  with  her  so  she  nods  .  “  of  course  ,  show  me  these  boats  ,  angel  .  you  don’t  mind  if  i  intrude  on  your  day  in  the  park  ,  right  ?  ”  question  aimed  at  tessa  as  she  readjusts  the  toddler  to  sit  more  comfortably  against  her  .

There were perhaps too many occasions within her own life where someone had referred to her as being saintlike, a title which she had always felt incredibly undeserving of, but never more so than when she was in the presence of Rosalie. Most interactions would find Tessa Richards with a warm and inviting demeanor, but she had proven more than once that she was quite capable of the opposite, something that she wasn’t sure could be said for the femme at her side. Rosalie Moon made the world a better place by simply being in it, but how one didn’t wish to also do better within her presence was a mystery she wasn’t sure could ever be solved. “It’s honestly so much easier to think that way when you don’t see her for most of the day, every day. That angel face there can get awfully dramatic with the pouting and screams over anything from having to take a bath to the fact that her granola bar broke in half. One day she even had a complete breakdown because I refused to let her watch the dolly movie that was playing on television...that dolly being Chucky.” Addison was her world, even in her worst moments, being her mother was a blessing that she refused to take for granted. Even then, sometimes having the time and reassurance that it was okay to catch her breath, that she could relax and trust someone else with the child’s well-being was nice. “Please feel free to intrude on our day whenever you feel the need. I’ve begun to question which one of us loves you for it more.”

[tessarichardss]

friends + emotional scenes  → 2/?

@tessarichards

[tessarichardss]

[tessarichardss]

oriondavenport·:

 “  well,  if  it  helps,  i  think  you  look  like  the  best  vintage  cigarette  girl  in  new  york.  “  she  was  only  slightly  inebriated,  which  may  have  explained  the  increase  in  confidence.  in  hindsight,  and  as  soon  as  the  utterance  left  her  brims,  orion  realised  that  the  costume  in  question,  albeit  very  well  put  together  (  frankly,  one  of  the  best  she’d  seen  all  the  night—  the  bar  wasn’t  very  high  .  .  .  at  all  ),  shouldn’t  have  been  her  first  point  of  attentiveness.  had  her  current  further  perusal  fallen  into  function  earlier,  the  connotations  of  her  having  been  relentlessly  prodding  her  ankle  would  have  been  would  have  been  pellucid;  she  had  hurt  herself,  somehow.  “  oh,  shit  .  .  .  are  you  okay?  “  furrowed  eyebrows  accompanied  her  slight  pertubtion  for  the  stranger,  only  slightly  bemused  at  the  fact  that  she  was  still  managing  to  keep  a  bright  beam  adorned  amidst  a  potential  injury.  orion  wasn’t  exactly  what  one  would  call  a  medical  professional,  but  she  could  tell  one  hurt  ankle  from  another.  “  did  you  trip  on  the  way  in,  or  something?  “

“Oh, come now, you’re surely just saying that. I’m sure that you’ve seen a million and one vintage cigarette girls tonight that all look far more stunning than I could ever manage.” In truth, the outfit had left Tessa feeling out of sorts, a dress already out of the norm for the femme without the added bonus of just how much leg it left exposed, the consequences she payed for not having a costume prepared and having to ask someone that was more than eager to dress her up for clothes to borrow. If you asked her, the wardrobe was also partially, or perhaps mostly, to blame for the sore joint she had just finished examining, her concern having fallen to her appearance rather than where it was that she was walking - thankfully, the damage seemed minimal. “Oh yeah, just a slight roll it seems. The troubles that come with some drinking and uneven New York terrain. Though, it’s nothing that a little whiskey can’t soothe - of that, I’m sure.” Her brows lifted at the self suggested remedy, a look of mixed curiousity and trouble taking hold of her features. "Care to take a shot with me?"

[tessarichardss]

““Do you like him?” “I don’t want to.” “But you do?” “I do.””

— (via suzybishopwrites)

@xandermrgn·

[tessarichardss]

[tessarichardss]

xandermrgn·:

He was truly hoping that he would calm down by the time she came to him, recognizing that look on her face – one of concern, looking at him with gentle eyes. It was quick, the way her expression went from one of anger to complete worry and care. However, Alex could feel himself crying harder as soon as her hands touched his face, in futile attempt to wipe away the tears that just kept coming. “–No, no one …. no one –” he tried to form a coherent sentence, but he just couldn’t get the words out in between his quiet sobs. Alex can’t even remember the last time he cried like this alone; he could tell that he’s been holding this one in for a while. All Alex could do right now was shrink smaller in her arms, letting himself feel weak and vulnerable for just one night. He buries his face in her shoulder; Alex thought they must look silly right now – a grown man, much taller than she was, burying his face in her shoulder, leaving tears on the sleeve of her shirt. And then, his legs didn’t want to keep him standing anymore… he couldn’t keep standing. He was sinking to the floor, bringing Tessa down with him as she held onto him. “I’m so sorry, Tess… I should have called but I… I couldn’t. I couldn’t talk —” he was aware that none of this made sense to Tessa; actually, the whole breaking-down-in-her-arms thing… it came as a surprise to Alex, as well. He was more so hoping that everyone would be in bed, and he could slink back into his room and cry till the morning, and then pretend like nothing ever happened the next day. Tessa wasn’t supposed to be waiting for him… but there they were, sitting on the floor, with Alex crying in her arms. 

It was as if she could feel her heart shattering within her chest, as if the sight of him standing in front of her like this was taking a sledgehammer to every last memory of them teasing and laughing in the past. Suddenly the anger she had felt moments ago was directed inwards, towards herself. How could she be so blind? Her teenage years had already given her the brutal wake-up call that just because someone seemed okay didn’t mean they were, that even the happiest of people were fighting internal battles - and yet she had seemed to forgot, seemed to once again be screaming at herself, wondering how she missed it. Her hands slip from his face to the back of his head, unhesitating in welcoming him into her embrace, as if she could somehow keep him safe there, as if it would somehow be enough to wash away all hurt he was feeling. His own body seemed to give out on him, weight increasing against her and it was all she could do to carefully ease the both of them towards the floor, easing onto her knees as tears began to fill her eyes. “It’s okay, Alex. You don’t have to explain...” She assured him as quickly as she was able, hating herself even more for having been so harsh with him, for having jumped to assumptions. “I’m just glad you’re home.” Her throat felt like it was closed, anxiety and the tears she was forcing herself to hold back welling within it. She didn't get to breakdown, not now. “Thank you for coming home...” And she meant those words more than anything else she had said thus fair, having to take a moment and a breath in order to keep herself from openly sobbing with him. Why him? Why Alex? As much as it hurt, there was a sense of relief in the fact that he was there, that he was in her arms and not out of her grasp - the latter being something she wouldn’t have been able to live with. “Thank you...”