tf2-retail-au

[tf2-retail-au]

scout! why is your mom hot? can i date your mom?

“What? No! I mean, I don’t mean she’s ugly or anythin’, but you ain’t datin’ my ma!” -⚾️

[tf2-retail-au]

Are the pharmacists single? ;)

Cuz if yes.. Hey bbg.. wish you were my meds.. so i could swallow you everyday... wtf i suck at flirting that was horrid-

“I have a husband.” -💉

“Nein! I have a loving boyfriend danke!” -💉

[tf2-retail-au]

memerizing the patterns on y'all faces right now, dont mind me.

“You’re doing what now mate?” -🎯

[tf2-retail-au]

May I release rabid raccoons (and possibly a kangaroo) into the shop?

“нет, you may not.” -🥊

(Translation: нет = no)

[tf2-retail-au]

-🎙️

*hands this to miss pauling* :D

"Oh, well thank you uh... TB?... odd name... Anyways I will give this to my boss to look over." -📋

[tf2-retail-au]

woah we can do magic?? both snipers, ya now both gods for the next ask have fun with this one time power. or something

"What the bloody hell-" -(🎯) Mick looked down at his hands. He looked normal enough but when looking at the shelf a bag of chips exploded. "Noice."

“Oh noice, thank ya mate.” -🎯 Ricky thinks for a moment before turning back to the magic customer. “Hypothetically, could I use this to make someone… let’s say… fall in love with me?”

[tf2-retail-au]

“Ha! Schwuchtel…” -💉

(Translate it yourself…)

"I fuckin kissed him." -🧰

[tf2-retail-au]

"I fuckin kissed him." -🧰

[tf2-retail-au]

*stares into red cameras*

Alphonse turns off the cameras and smokes a cigarette. That costumer isn't bound to stay forever.

[tf2-retail-au]

"You packaged them Individually. You fucking packaged them INDIVIDUALLY." -⚾

"RAGNAR I FUCKING HATE YOU WHY WOULD YOU PACKAGE THE BEANS LIKE THAT????" -⚾

[tf2-retail-au]

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I PACKAGED THE BEANS COMPLETELY NORMALLY, LIKE A TRUE AMERICAN.” -🪖

"RAGNAR I FUCKING HATE YOU WHY WOULD YOU PACKAGE THE BEANS LIKE THAT????" -⚾

[tf2-retail-au]

"RAGNAR I FUCKING HATE YOU WHY WOULD YOU PACKAGE THE BEANS LIKE THAT????" -⚾

[tf2-retail-au]

Re: the beans

I'm wonderful. Finally got all the beans I need for the bean colony *pats bean bucket*

"Mhm, that's nice pal." -(⚾) Henry scanned the beans one by one, his eye twitching at every "beep" sound of the cash register.

[tf2-retail-au]

HEY, WAIT, WHOEVER SENT THAT BANANA ASK, YOU WANNA BE FREND???

“Why exactly are ya communicating this through us?” -⚾️

[tf2-retail-au]

*stares in cameras at the blu retail store*

“Zhis is not zhe weirdest thing I have seen on zhe security cameras…” -🗡️ Beau ignores the customer and continues to do his job.

[tf2-retail-au]

Hola.

My name is RED Hacker. Last week, I won 1000 dollars in the lottery. I was so happy. But then, four guys from my job came to me and said I should use my 1000 dollars to invest in becoming a Peruvian flute band. They promised that I would double my money in one afternoon. But the U.S. government arrested us, along with all the other Peruvian flute bands, and took us to an internment camp all the way up in the Colorado Rockies. We begged to be let go, but instead, the government told us they were sending us to Peru. And so, that is why I am now in Peru. If I die, let it be known it is because of four gringos from work who I don't even like lied to me and took my lottery winnings.

-💻

“Uh… pal, this is a Mann. Co super store…” -⚾️

"What the heck..." -🧰

[tf2-retail-au]

Hi!

*holding a bucket full of beans. Upon closer inspection all the beans have tiny individual barcodes. It is not a small bucket

"Hi." -(⚾) Henry said through clenched teeth. "How are you today?" He was forced to ask as usual as he started to scan every single individual bean from the bucket.