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[tgmqdi]

ok another thing about this for context even tho i don’t think anyone reads these… i broke up with her cause she got mad at me for hanging out with my friends. which she knew they were very important to me!!! plus she was always so eager to like not be sober? i think that’s a right way to put it. anyways,,, especially on our prom night like she was so eager to find an after party so she could get fucked up. but like i still had work the next day. and j would be stuck being her dd and i wasn’t really about thag so i ended it

yea broke up with my gf

[tgmqdi]

i have a boyfriend now… idk he’s really sweet but i’m excited :) we went out on a date last weekend and he was really fun to be around, we’ve been friend for awhile before. i’m excited to see where things go from here

[tgmqdi]

yea broke up with my gf

[tgmqdi]

guys i have a gf now :) and she’s really sweet omg. she invited me to go to a concert wjth her for her fav band but i don’t have the money to buy a ticket so i can’t go💔 but i’ll definitely go next time!!

[tgmqdi]

it’s been awhile since i posted anything… life had gotten a little better ig. i’m talking to a girl and we both like each other. i just got a two dollar raise at my job and i’m about to go into senior year or high school. i’m nervous. the future still scares me. i think it’s my greatest fear. but i beileve i can push through. i think i’ll be happy in the end :).

dad hasn’t gotten any better i don’t really know if they’ve fought recently since i don’t exactly live with them anymore. i hope my mom is doing okay.

oh! i’m also going to get lunch with my grandma and younger sister tomorrow. my grandma said that if we picked her up she would treat us. it’s a chinese buffet!

sister isn’t the best i think our relationship is more strained then before. she was gonna try and sneak a boy in and idk i don’t really trust him and i got nervous. so i begged her to go home and not do this and she got really mad at me for it. she told me that i’m always out to hurt her and that i don’t want her to be happy. but happiness dosent come in the form of a boy you met online. plus i’m not comfortable with their realtionship. it’s morally wrong… but i think that’s enough of me talking for now maybe i’ll start doing like a daily diary thing to get my thoughts into place

[tgmqdi]

is it bad that every time i got to sleep i don’t wanna wake up

[tgmqdi]

it’s been such a week and it’s only wednesday.

[tgmqdi]

god i think i’m still in love with them even though we haven’t talked in four months. i fuckint hate this i think about them all the time and i kinda wanna start messaging them again. their really pretty and god omg they’re so sweet and nice and they always say the right thing. they are also super duper smart. they know a lot of medical stuff and take college level courses even tho we’re the same age and UGH. i need to stop but i’m just so obsessed with them. but this other girl likes me rn. and idk what to do about that. liek i think they wanna ask me out but would it help me get over it if i daye her? idk what to do god

[tgmqdi]

my grandpa was driving us to school this morning and we were talking about my living situation. he started saying that our house and all the stress about it doesn’t get in between my parents marriage. i told him i agreed with him but i’m lying. i hope they divorce. and frankly it already has. i think they argue almost every night. i don’t really hear them that much anymore tho since i moved into my rv. but i don’t wanna ask my younger sister if she hears them. i want them to divorce but i know it’s gonna hurt me if whenever we do go to court and they fight over custody. i would obviously choose my mom but that my spiral my dad into depression cause i think he knows we don’t like him.

[tgmqdi]

yesterday my parents were joking about splitting up and part of me wishes they weren’t joking

[tgmqdi]

i’m so fuckint sick of doing everything by myself. why can’t my sister do something for once. all she does is sit in her room all day. i fucking took apart the entire back porch by myself and she gets so angry when i ask her to do the dishes. i swear i’m gonna punch her in the fuckinf nose one day. i’m this fuckint close to knocking her the fuck out

[tgmqdi]

can’t remember the last time i heard my parents say “i love you” to each other :(

[tgmqdi]

Today my parents fought again :(. it’s not even arguing. it just my dad screaming at her like she’s a child.

Our house has some pretty bad mold in it and we are currently trying to move out. Honestly i think that’s what their argument was about. Like we’re all gonna live in RV’s and i think she was saying that she thought we had more time to build a house.

and i think that’s what really ticked him off. like he’s twisting her words in his head and telling himself that she’s ungrateful and nothing is ever good enough for her. which is completely untrue!

he started screaming at her saying that we don’t have enough time and there’s no other options. he also started ranting and saying we’re all gonna die if we keep staying here any longer.

which i think he was just trying to scare her into agreeing with him.

she started crying. :/ she said that’s why she doesn’t ever talk to him about anything cause he shuts her down and always tells her that he’s right.

btw my dad is a podcast guy. like he’s always listening to these stupid fucking podcasts about how trump was a good guy and all that other bullshit.

i’m just so sick of him and my mom deserves better.

he finally decided that they spent enough time fighting and put on a movie to shut her up. she went to bed and he’s drinking rn. i turned off my bedroom lights so he would think i’m asleep. gonna try and talk to my mom tomorrow and tell her i love her.

[tgmqdi]

i’m sorry if you come across this page. kinda just need a place to rant and frankly i think i can find it here.