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hi I’m back bc I binged my way out of any progress I made last month :o) but I’m ready to be 115 lbs again asap so I’m locking :o) tf :0) IN :O)

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sitting on the porch holding half a watermelon and a spoon. never kill yourself

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I love spring bc my will to live blossoms and I do everything I’ve ever wanted to do and it feels amazing

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It's real funny because whenever things go wrong my brain will automatically think of suicide.

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i love when my mutuals have similar mental issues to me. i hope they put us on the same wing in the psych ward.

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babes im supposed to be in my follicular phase why do I feel like I want to jump of a bridge why can’t I stop snacking why am I spotting I want to die

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yesterday I free ate and then calced the cals later. ate around 3000, maybe more. Maybe less. I wasn’t really intentionally active. I did move a good bit but not in a working out way, in a social, moving around standing talking sort of way. Walking the block to see a friend kind of way. Easy. I got home late and smoked and got kind of high and I felt so good about my day and my choices and I felt so connected to my body and spirit. I was doing some meditative movement and i just felt so protected from the negatives I usually feel from eating too much. Or eating not the right stuff. I felt so content w my choice to eat a little much and spend time w people I care about. I felt very woo woo but it was almost like I was mentally combatting any possibility of weight gain from this splurge. I did not care enough to validate that manifestation with a measurement lol. But I’m going to weigh in again tomorrow and god willing well see a drop

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ugh I ate a little much tonight and I’m scared it’s gonna make me gain again when I weigh tmrw but whatever. vowing to under 300 tmrw 🔒🔒🔒🔒

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sun dried fucking tomatoes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I gained a lb this morning from yesterday and I hate myself for it <3

125.4. like I know it’s just waste/water weight bc I ate under 1000 cals and I was very sedentary but there’s no way I truly gained from that

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“BMI 16 jail” “get me out of BMI 15 jail” BITCH FYM GET ME INNNNNN

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I will succeed because I'm crazy. 2025 mantra

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of course it goes without saying that i am hopelessly dependent on the chickpea

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Ate 900 something cals today ugh. 73 G protein tho lol. Just lots of sugary drinks that killed my macros but WHATEVER. I slept like shit and I went skating and I did an ab workout this morning so idk. god fucking willing I don’t gain tmrw <3