tharayya

[tharayya]

seeing a black and white cow is always so damn awesome it’s like Hey i know that guy.from my kindergarten abcs

[tharayya]

"Kill yourself" is basic. "I hope your fandom gets a new installment that is objectively a great work but also tonally dissonant from the previous ones in a way that generates a huge newbie boom of people uninterested and hostile towards the history of the franchise" is smart. It's possible. It's terrifying. It's happening right now.

[tharayya]

Being pissed abt a nonissue is so fun.... #myhill

[tharayya]

my toddler is 3 years old and wont eat anything other than fine porterhouse steaks and sweet port wine

[tharayya]

Love when some stupid bullshit app i was forced to install for a singular purpose even though i knew i'd never use it again in my life has the audacity to send me a notification and remind me of its pathetic existence like You fool. had you kept silent, i might have allowed you to languish, forgotten, on the third page of my homescreen for another few months. but no, you simply couldn't resist. "☀️ Mornings are brighter with Zippadee! 😊✨" i'll shoot you like a dog

[tharayya]

fascinated by this screenshot where they took out the poster's username and replaced it with a very small picture of alex the lion

[tharayya]

strong as fuck ice mummy

vs

chill as fuck summer mummy

[tharayya]

remembering that time i got drunk and told a guy he looked like a wrought iron gate

[tharayya]

I love watching dvds... bc the little commercials beforehand will be like "coming to you spring 2008!" like man. I can't wait for 2008

[tharayya]

[tharayya]

worst fear is that i write something from the heart and it gets mocked as #tumblrprose . second worst fear is big big big big ant colony conspiring to kill me to death

[tharayya]

I know that some British people take umbridge at Americans calling the Great British Bake Off relaxing, but it's just because GBBO is such a different kind of stressful from American baking shows.

American baking shows will be called something like "Cupcake Knife Fight", there's horror movie lighting everywhere and dramatic stings every 5 seconds. All of the contestants are shit talking each other and fist fighting over the one single deep fryer provided by production. It will show the judges all whispering to each other at their super villain table overlooking the whole kitchen, and one will be like, "Oh my god. Everyone look at Brenda right now. She's straight tanking it." And it will cut to Brenda, who is running around covered in flour and crying and also bleeding for some reason. Then you get a clip from an interview with one of the contestants, and they're like, "I really need to win this. Without this award money, I'm gonna need to close my restaurant, sell my dad, and live out of my car. AGAIN." Then the giant digital doomsday clock overhead lets out a horrid klaxon, the judges tell half of them that their cupcakes taste disgusting, and one of them gets eliminated and sent to walk down the dramatically-lit shame hallway never to be seen again.

Meanwhile GBBO is in a lovely, brightly colored tent, there are delightful and friendly hosts/jesters there to keep everyone entertained, and all of the B Roll is of like... a bumblebee going into a flower, or a lamb running in a field. And yes, there will be moments where someone will mess up their timing or something, and they'll be looking at their bake through the oven door like, "oh gosh I don't think this will rise in time!" Then they stand up to find Paul Hollywood directly behind them ominously. His creepy whitewalker eyes will glow white, and he'll say something like "the 12th of June. 2035. Drowning." And his eyes will go back to normal and he'll walk away. Then the baker gives a playful grimace to the camera and says "that didnt sound great, did it?". Cut to a sweet looking older woman sipping tea on a stool and she says "oo I do hope that Prue enjoys the taste of my sugary, sticky baps!". Then, at the end, someone gets a gold star for doing good, and the loser of the episode gets in the middle of a giant group hug. You see all of them at the end of the series at a giant carnival with their families and the post credits informs you that all of the contestants have become a Partridge Family-style traveling band and stayed friends forever.

[tharayya]

[tharayya]

my boss: *giving me critical instructions* you got that?

me: ya

me (in my mind): you make a loop de loop and pull, and your shoes are looking cool :) you go over and back, left to righ

[tharayya]

My Pokemon head canon is that if you were holding an Aron and she wanted to go down she would do the little cat thing where they wiggle until they leap out of your arms gracefully except Aron is made mostly out of solid steel and would land with the impact tungsten cube, dent the floor, cause permanent structural damage to the foundation, and then stand up and happily trot along like she didn't do anything

[tharayya]

[tharayya]

this duck LOVES pink drink