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water sourced from free range dads

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Bro im so sorry but youve been hit by the sunglasses virus thing on tumblr. o7

Bro what the fuck is this pls explain I’m lost

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people who have perfectly straight teeth but never had braces

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you come to my house. you see this. 

“oh? you have kids?” “No” i reply. “…rabbits?” “No,” again I reply. you look closer. inside is a roomba. ‘its almost time to feed him!’ i say. your eyes ask a handful of questions, but you remain silent. i sprinkle a handful of dirt in the enclosure.

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the phantom of the opera and the hunchback of notre dame? opposite ends of same spectrum 

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Remember that episode of Dexter where a Monkey and a Duck made out. No? Well your brain did 🧠🦆🐒🍆🥚

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cute date idea: we go to a botanical garden. you point out a flower and i immediately eat it