thatochoma-blog

[thatochoma-blog]

Did you know that in the same way we have the four seasons - Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter, we have a similar dynamic in our professional and personal lives? Depending on your personality and your preference, you may view winter as a moody, depressing season, and then associate breakthrough and fresh starts with spring and summer. For the purposes of this “talk” and this illustration, I will stick with the winter and autumn being cold, slow and moody, and spring and summer will be about the fresh starts and new heights.

In any instance, my intention is to help you embrace each season and how you can be more sensitive for the kind of season you are in professionally and personally.

So let’s look at some of the criteria for a season. Firstly, it will happen, there is no avoiding a season. The best way to handle a season, is to gear up for it, dress, medicate and behave appropriately for the duration of the season. Another thing about a season is that it has a start and an end. So here we go, let’s explore ways to handle the climate changes in our lives.

GET READY!

Observe, understand and be willing to accept the outlook. Acceptance of a reality doesn’t mean settling, it primarily enables you to handle it better. Let your outlook acknowledge the possibility of wind that blows you in an unintended direction, or the rain that just rains on everything.  The bottom line is, If you can accept the projections, you can plan for a worst case scenario. Constantly being aware and monitoring your life, sensitizes you the action that is required from you to get set for the season. In summary, brace yourselves, because winters can be long, and longer if your attitude is bad (dysfunctional) throughout. This can mean a dip in profits, the loss in clients, edgy team dynamics because of growing pressures… this owed to market realities and the mental states of each individual, combined.

GET SET!

Go through this season. The key purpose of the season I have observed, is to actually collect yourself. Somewhat hibernate and take time to reflect. Have you ever thought about the fact that a quiet season in business is exactly supposed to be that way - quiet. So much benefits to having a quiet time : your thoughts can be crystallized, you can take the time to listen to yourself and pay attention to what your business needs on the inside to attract new clients who are on the outside (brand building 101). You have the choice to drag through the season or put it to optimal use. The next level doesn’t necessarily come, you have to create it and set the tone for it with your attitude and mental posture.

GO!

Create. Make the most out of what looks like a loss. Another way to look at it  is through the created space for a new thing. At this point, you have to be creative around market realities and fuse your personal realities and traits to seize the opportunities that may look like loses. I know some people may want to runaway to a better season, are you a bird? We build empires, not brittle nests. But you certainly have to jump in order to reach new heights. The idea about jumping is to focus on what you jumping into and less about what your jumping away from.

And most importantly, just do it, and be intentional about your decisions in every season. And don’t forget to enjoy life!

And try take someone else with you to new territory. Kind of like this couple here that absolutely nailed it!

Have a wonderful season.

[thatochoma-blog]

There are two types of people life : One’s that see stubborn passion as “negatively unreasonable” and those that see your passion as “a great persistent and relentless fire.” If you look back in history, you will note that, ALL flagship progress was advocated for by unreasonable and impractical people. Logic is just noise for us.

Being stubborn is essential as an entrepreneur, this also means awareness that fear is often disguised as “being practical”. The root of all materialization of success, is in the amount of conviction you have about your business in life. Life is a business : There is YOUR business, and there is OTHER peoples’ business. The daily to-do is to mind your own.

The entrepreneurial journey for me is rightfully a self-discovery journey. I have sailed. I have left the shore and I am in the middle of the ocean, surrounded by water, no land in sight. Scary? Yes. BUT There is about 40% more opportunity on the ocean than on land because it covers approximately 70% of the earths surface.

I have found out some of the most common culprit thinking, of our own self-sabotaging ways on the journey of entrepreneurship. I want to let you in on how to counter them, so that you can catch yourself out in frequent waves of self-doubt, and brief moments of sadness really, wondering if you made the right next move.

NO DOUBT ALLOWED ON BOARD.

Seeing that as a crew member you are the captain of your own soul too, your faith levels will also be challenged. Keep your head above the water. As the captain of the ship, if you are not convinced that the ship will sail through, the expectation for your crew members to have faith in your skill and vision is a long shot. Faith is not an abstract thing. It is all action with intention and unwavering resolution that you will make it. This is possible when you stay grounded with the roots of why you started in the first place and your unique purpose.

NO ONE ASKED YOU TO DO IT ALONE.

Whether you are the captain or the crew member, it often feels like we are alone in the hard times, like being in the middle of the ocean at night, with an over-powering echo of the wind. It's just silence meant for solitude and to redirect your attention to what matters most in life  : Your internal state of mind and to keep spiritually fit. Be open to comfort and to be comforted, be vulnerable, difficult times when shared are divided and celebration shared is multiplied.

IT’S BIGGER THAN YOU.

It’s not about you (me) anymore, it’s about us. With a crew that believes in the vision, voyage and supposed destination, you realize that you cannot turn back to the shore because it’s become too small and unfamiliar for everyone now. But every decision is not just for an individual anymore, decision making is for the collective dream. Individual attention to each member is important, and no one person should ever be more important than the other because everyone needs to row the boat, adjust the sails and look out for the ice-bergs. Team work couldn’t be more important.

GET LIFTED.

I find that the “final” moments of any battle are fast-tracked and stacked defining moments that will determine the level of your greatness. Dreams never, ever match the size of anyone’s pockets. The one that achieves her or his dream is the one that does not let a single thing stop them from planting the flag of ownership over their lives. There are flags on the moon because few people looked beyond the earth and familiar shores to achieve that which was out of this world.

Our flag can be viewed here in the picture of our office premises, raised 11 October 2017. This is a willingness to accept responsibility and to do more than what the average person is willing to do.  One small step for GODDSS Media, one giant leap for everyone that has supported us on the same mission to make a difference for each world, industry and individual.

We love and appreciate you.

[thatochoma-blog]

GLORIA’S STORY

Female, 32, South Africa

I have since quit my engineering job and I am leaving to China to go teach English. I am making a conscious decision to trust myself. I am growing to love every detail of my past, embracing every event with a smile knowing it has brought me to this wisdom and this far. I just can’t wait to see and experience myself in this new way. I am growing to see myself in the same way I idolised and envied others because I now realise that I am the same as them. Rather than asking who I am? I am affirming what I can see: I am here, Everything I need is in me, I am complete.

Literary 3 months after I met Thato, I had my answer. I met Thato in February 2017 in the mist of incredible and inspiring women, me included, at the She Leads Africa Summit in Johannesburg, however I was in search of clearly defining my unique vision. Thato helped me start the work on myself, from exploring my foundations to determining my core values.  Through Thato’s vigorous coaching methods, I faced my pain and fears. I became courageous and trusted the process, to face my pain and fears and my vision. My purpose was birthed. I discovered that my power lies in being true to myself and not be afraid to express that trueness.

It was only when we explored matters deeper with Thato, that I saw that the core of my unhappiness at my previous jobs lied in me constantly searching for my vision and that my blockage of my vision was rooted deep in my past. The coaching methods lead me to ask and answer difficult questions, listen and accept myself.

Who am I, Who are you Gloria? I have come to realise that the only thing that remains constant in my life is my name, Gloria Sellwane Phala . Overtime I have evolved. I have evolved from living on survival mode, then having the courage to rewire myself to trusting myself now in the present.

I was born in Soweto in a family of 5, however my grandmother replaced the status of my mother from my early childhood stage. My mother passed away at 6 months old. My dad was never around. My grandmother made sure I had everything I needed and instilled the importance of education for my life. Her commitment towards my education was evident. She saved her grant money until her passing, which later covered my first year of university. In spite having everything I needed, I couldn’t help but compare myself to my peers and constantly singling out what I did not have, in this case the absence of my biological mother. My grandmother passed away when I was 15years still in high school. Now officially and even more orphaned I studied aggressively throughout high school and university, fuelled by fear of loneliness and failure. I had to make it, I had to survive, and I did. I became a Civil Engineer specialising in Traffic and Transportation Engineering.

However it became clear that these survival tactics, anger and fear would not carry me over to the next chapter of my life, when the love of my life for 8 years divorced me and shortly married someone else. My world came down on me. You see, my ex-husband was my everything. He was my mother, my grandmother, my dad, my brother, then my husband. I think I even filled my God space with him. Everything in my life revolved around and in him. Life was good and comfortable I had somewhere to run to : “Him”. My safe space (husband) let me down. I really didn’t think that I was going to be okay and survive the emotional turmoil that came with the divorce. I felt I was losing myself and everything I worked so hard for. I failed my honours degree dismally after having enrolled in that year with so much pride. My work and my Job disappointed me.

I needed help, I could feel Gloria slipping and I reached out to family, friends, and self-help courses. I became my own superhero, I had to rescue her.

While on this path of healing, my career was still not giving me any joy. I decided to look for a career coach and I met Thato. We did not waste time, I started with my sessions. The session were not easy at all, this was such a shock because even though I had done work on myself this was on another level all together, more intense.

The awakening to self-discovery emerged in the pain. As allowed the process of healing to happen which emphases letting go and forgiveness, I began to realise that all along I have been carrying a story “A script” about my biological mother, concluding things in my head of why she left? How can she leave me? A “Script” I didn’t have answers to. One particular night my “script” changed to, “Who wants to die and leave their children behind” This was such a shift because I had never looked at it that way before. Such a simple thought but it relieved a lot of pain and that space was filled with compassion and understanding. This is what Thato would call a super moment.

We had to peel off some more onion layers before I could even get to discover my purpose. So we did. This road with Thato was not a good, comfortable or easy, I cried, I shredded, man it was tough. The toughest session was when I realised that not only were my foundations shaken, there was actually nothing to shake because most of the perceptions about myself and life were fundamentally incorrect, especially that script. However my willingness to fully participate in Thato’s systems, I could see the process working. I began being positive, adding forgiveness to situations and taking better decisions. My core values which are now my pillars of my foundations and my purpose was birthed wrote my core values on paper and placed them on the wall where I can see them every day.

I handled work better, however my heart was bruised because it did not belong there. In addition to Thato’s systems and homeworks, I decided to put up famous people on my wall, people like Beyonce, Will Smith, Brenda Fassie, Mandela etc. I put myself in the middle to acknowledge that I also have the potential to be like them. Every night I would have an imaginary meeting with these people, well leaning about their lives reading, watching videos helped to hold meaning and relevant meeting. In the process of Thato’s systems, and my wall of legends my inner voice became louder and louder. I was propelled to listen to my universe as I went through the process. One morning I woke up and my body would not leave to go to work. It was as if my soul would not let me go until I listened to its request. I followed the instructions of my inner legend and wrote my resignation letter right there. And my body followed to leave for work after I wrote it and I handed in my resignation to the manager that same day. The unique thing about this moment was the stillness. There was no rush, haste or even suspense music in the background. It was almost super natural, like completely unforced though completely necessary at the same time. It was an honest act.

The next session came, I delivered the news to Thato about my newly discovered purpose, and she asked me one question that solidified discovery to my purpose. She asked : “What if no one believes in this thing I called purpose what am I going to do? I said “I will believe in myself!” I saw a big smile on Thato’s face. I undertook Thato’s measuring process Tool and it showed significant improvement I was dancing with my dream.

My Purpose was announced, “I am a teacher”…., this is my purpose, I want to teach Road Safety. At this point my spirit is awakened and embraced my past again. Teaching road safety was linked to the taxi crash that I was involved with that left 8 people dead.

I Pray, I meditate, I  know and trust  the voice of my spirit, my gut, my guard, my universe, my soul… God. I boldly make decisions because I know it’s coming from within. Even if I think it’s a mistake, I know it’s a mistake worth happening, I am not scared to fail anymore.

I have grown into the habit of writing what I feel or think on my wall. My universe is constantly speaking and I cannot ignore it. I wrote “DO NOT DEFINE IT”. I have come to realise that anything I define, I am limiting it to what I have defined it to, leaving no room for reduction or expansion. This phrase came intensely after I had quit my Job. I had defined myself through things in life, including that I was not raised by my biological parents, my failed marriage to the love of my life, my disappointing career that I worked so hard for, which also caused me so much pain. Now those things mean something different, I give them power to either break me or build me.

Thato is younger than me and that could have easily been my barrier to learning. I am glad I became open minded to the whole coaching process. I found her to be very professional, daring and results orientated which has influenced me somehow. Many Thanks to Thato for shinning her light to my dark path. Now I can boldly and unapologetically carry my torch forward to bring light to others.

Gloria leaves for China in February 2018.