thatonespriteobsessedbitch

[thatonespriteobsessedbitch]

“you’re bleeding on my bath mat.”

“technically,” dick says, biting back a wince, “we bought that bath mat.”

you glare at him. he’s sitting shirtless on the closed toilet lid like it’s a throne, hair damp with sweat and blood, black suit unzipped and pooling around his waist. his lip is split, knuckles scraped, and he’s got the nerve to be smiling.

“that doesn’t make it better.”

“no, but it makes it ours.”

you mutter something unflattering under your breath as you kneel beside him with the first-aid kit. “what happened?”

“some guy had a knife.”

“and you didn’t?”

“i had... optimism.”

“idiot,” you sigh, tilting his face toward the light. the cut on his cheekbone is shallow but angry. he winces anyway. you try not to think about how pretty he still looks like this, bloodied and cocky, grinning like he won a prizefight instead of nearly getting gutted in an alley.

“you worry too much,” he murmurs.

“you bleed too much.”

“fair point.”

he stays still as you clean the wound, but his eyes never leave your face. there’s a softness there that doesn’t match the bruises. like he’s memorizing your every frown. every sigh.

“you gonna kiss it better?” he asks, voice low and teasing.

“i’m gonna disinfect it,” you reply, deadpan. “if you’re lucky.”

he groans when the antiseptic hits, the sound dramatic enough to make you pause.

“you’re the worst nurse,” he complains, slouching dramatically. “i came here for comfort.”

“you came here for sympathy and post-fight cuddles.”

“and pancakes.”

“you’re not getting pancakes.”

“...you’re so mean to me.”

you set the bottle down and look at him. his lashes are dark and damp, his lip swollen, cheekbone starting to swell. and still—he looks at you like you’re gravity.

“you’re lucky i like you,” you say, softening despite yourself.

“you love me.”

you lean in, slow and careful, and kiss the corner of his mouth—right where it doesn’t hurt. he exhales against your lips like he’s been holding his breath since he climbed through your window. your hands find his jaw, cradling him gently. his own fingers twitch like he wants to touch you back, but he doesn’t move.

“you’re bleeding on me,” you whisper when you pull back.

“technically,” dick grins, lips brushing yours again, “we’re even now.”

and then he kisses you properly—bruised mouth and all.

[thatonespriteobsessedbitch]

Happy Friday, y’all! I’m off to the post office with your packages full of goodies! I have some new freebie stickers that came in last week so repeat customers, you may notice some new designs! Headed into the weekend I wanted to share some of y’all’s Star Wars faves from this week! And remember you can use code TUMBLR15 for 15% off most accessories! Shop is here.

more below the cut!

Aurebesh translation: I have friends everywhere

Aurebesh translation: Stone and Sky / Ferrix • Morlani Sector

Aurebesh translation: the death of truth is the ultimate victory of evil

Shop is here. Love y’all!

[thatonespriteobsessedbitch]

"holy shit they finally confessed, what comes next--"

[thatonespriteobsessedbitch]

Batfam reacting to getting called loudly by their full government name by their S/O?

I think I did this ages ago but I can’t remember shit half the time so that’s something 😂

Jason

Straightens up like a soldier immediately upon hearing your calls of ‘JASON PETER TODD!’ From your shared bedroom.

Dick and Roy -who were visiting at the time- would pat his shoulder in sympathies, telling him that they’ll dig up his grave to put him back inside after you were done with him, which earned them both a smack on the back of their heads from Jason; who was suddenly self aware of the fact that he had the habit of leaving his gun, magazines and other vigilante related things lying about in places where they most likely shouldn’t.

He’s not a mess by any means, it’s just that before you he wasn’t use to caring about where he puts his armour and weapons, but now that he has you he had become more aware of the fact that this habit was one that had been a little stubborn to die. He swears that he could shrug off bullet wounds, knife stabs, bruises, grazes, cuts and face down the worst Gotham could produce, but the second you call him by his full name: suddenly the six foot vigilante of pure muscle is now the most harmless man alive who has never seen confrontation before in his life.

Is wondering if he had forgotten an important date or anything of similar significance the second he heard you say:

'yeah sweetheart?' He calls out, semi- shitting it a little.

'Did you make me these paper roses out of old book pages?' you asked as you held out a couple of hand made paper roses that you had found at your bedside that morning clutched within your hand, a sweet smile upon your lips. Jason felt as though his soul had returned to his body as he knew your exclamation of his name wasn't out of anger, but instead surpise of his little gift that he had spent all night trying to make perfect. Some of the petals weren't perfect and a little odd but it still had the message that he wanted to convey, that he thought about you constantly and wanted to do something to show that.

'Yes i did chipmunk, do you like them?' He asks as he watched you look at them with blatant awe and love that he thought was more then they deserved, but he wasn't about to deny that you looking at his gift as though it was something special and unique, it warmed his heart. 'like them? Jay-jay i love them more then anything! I love you!' you tell him as you rushed over to smother his face in a plethora of kisses while being careful of not carelessly crushing the paper roses. Jason could only happily accept your affection as a smile climbed upon his lips at the sensation of your lips against his brow, forehead, cheeks, chin and jaw, happily in his personal heaven.

Tim

‘TIMOTHY JACKSON DRAKE!’

He’s looking in his calendar, nothing was noted that was of anything to do with either of you, nor was his reminders filled with anything that he could possibly be forgetting either, so needless to say that the smart Tim Drake absolutely flabbergasted for once in his life. So he’s left standing there really awkwardly, feeling like he’ll faint at any given moment from how overwhelmed he was by his own thoughts, just as you walked into the room and set your sights upon him.

‘I didn’t forget anything did I?’ He would say before he even processed it.

‘No.’ You tell him. ‘I was just seeing that you had less sleep last night than you did the night before. Were you helping Batman again?’ You asked as you crossed your arms over your shoulders as Tim let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding inside until you said that, thanking god for the first and only time for not forgetting anything.

‘Yeah.’ He replied.

‘What about oracle? Was she not available?’ You asked.

‘She was helping Steph and Cass on their mission.’

You hummed as you pointed at him. ‘This doesn’t excuse the lack of sleep, the eye bags are beginning to show again and if Batman comes asking again, I’m telling him to buy a map and use it.’ You warned before kissing him on the cheek and leaving.

Tim really did hope Batman didn’t need his help anytime soon, for his sake more so than anyone else’s, you were scary sometimes.

Dick

Is looking for Hayley in hopes that his dog would hold the power to prevent you from being mad at him.

The blue staffy only looked at him and waddled out of the room, as if able to sense when she couldn’t offer her human father any help, she had been the distraction for far too long and it was about time her human dad learned that if you were annoyed he’d have to face it head on.

‘RICHARD JOHN GRAYSON!’

‘Yes dear?’ He would respond sweetly, mentally drenched in sweat and panic as he tried to recall if he had left a shirt on the floor, or put something where he shouldn’t, left a single dish unwashed or even let Hayley sleep on your bed; even though he knows you’ve done it on multiple occasions also. So he wasn’t and shouldn’t be guilty on that charge at all, you both couldn’t say no to your little blue fur baby.

‘Did you or did you not steal my fuzzy bunny slippers? I can’t find them anywhere.’ You asked and Dick looked down at his feet, only to find that he was indeed wearing your fuzzy bunny slippers. The floor was cold and he needed something to keep his feet warm and your slippers were the closest things he could find, so he looked back up at you with a cheeky grin and said: ‘guess I’m guilty as charged officer.’

‘You’re stretching them out you criminal!’ You cried as you smacked his bicep softly before pointing at him and adding. 'you owe me new ones.'

Dick shrugs as he holds you close. 'i thought when we started this whole relationship everything you own is mine, and everything i own is yours?' He teases, kissing the tip of your nose as though being cute was going to let him off of stretching out your slippers. 'So i'm doing us a deal by sharing slippers.' he adds and you couldn't help but rest your head on his shoulder to hide your smile, you loved your Dickie bird, even if he did strech out your slippers.

Damian

The least affect by getting called his full name.

So you screaming ‘DAMIAN AL GHUL-WAYNE!’ Didn’t really make him do anything more than raise his brows.

His brothers on the other hand were either awkwardly whistling or patting Damian on the shoulder as they quickly evacuated the room the second they heard your footsteps echoing off the hallway, saying that they’ll try and say nice things at his funeral, or just straight up telling him that he was a dead man.

Damian on the other hand knew he wasn’t, but even with that level of confidence he was wondering internally if he had left Titus, Ace or Jerry the fucking Turkey wander where they shouldn’t. He’s had his name spoken by his father, by the league of assassins, but when you -his beloved partner- does it, it brings another feeling that made him suddenly want to fear your upcoming wrath and pray to god for a smidge of protection from it.

'you left your sketch pad in the garden again.' You said as you brought him the sketchpad he thought he had lost, or had been stolen, and felt a sigh leave his lips when you didn't actually have anything to be mad with him at all. He smiled as he took the sketchpad off of your hands and checked it over in case of any damange, thankfully there wasn't ans that meant that his sketch of you from a couple of days ago was competely unscathed, for that he was happy and didn't feel the need to interogate his siblings anymore.

'thank you darling.' he says softly as he squeezes your hand.

[thatonespriteobsessedbitch]

me staring at the search bar trying to decide which fictional man I’ll read about tonight:

[thatonespriteobsessedbitch]

Congratulations on the marriage guys!!!! It's about time honestly

[thatonespriteobsessedbitch]

when I comment on a fellow writer's fic and they, in turn, comment on one of mine

[thatonespriteobsessedbitch]

*Translates to "Wet-Ass Cove".

[thatonespriteobsessedbitch]

Date Everything incorrect quotes! #3

Y/n: Mac, stop showing me sex ads. *slams hand on desk* I KNOW there are desperate sluts in the area. I have a MIRROR!

*Moves the mirror back to reveal all the datables*

[thatonespriteobsessedbitch]

I’ve seen posts where the Homeowner appologizes to the ohjects in their house when they bump into them even before they get the glasses but consider: homeowner who calls objects baby and darling before they get the glasses. STAY WITH ME cause I do this and have for so long so play in the space with me.

Bumping into a door or accidentally slamming the fridge shut and saying, “Sorry darling.” The lights flicks and they go to the breaker box with encouraging, “You can do it beautiful, you got this,” as they try and get the power back on. Throwing something away and absentmindedly saying, “Thank you, baby,” to the garbage for taking their trash.

Then the dateviators come and they suddenly become so aware that they probably shouldn’t call people they barely know pet names so it all stops. One day they put on the dateviators to see a small crowd gathered looking a mixed between annoyed, worried, sad.

Bev: “Did we do something to upset you?”

Dorian: “You can be honest. We just want to know if you’re alright.”

MC: ?????

Cam: “It’s been weeks.”

MC: “Since???”

Freddy: “Well… you know, Cool Kid.”

Cam (pissed): “Don’t act like you don’t know, baby.”

Thats when it clicks that everyone misses the sweet nicknames and wants to be doted on again. Its cleared up that the MC isnt mad and was just trying not to be weird, but clearly should go back to calling everyone pet names.

Bonus is when they’re giving Cam trash with the dateviators on he will just stare afterwards and not tell them to leave until they give him a “Thank you, Baby” even tho they now know cam likes trash and should be thanking them. Doesn’t matter though cause the light flush on his face is worth it.

[thatonespriteobsessedbitch]

hi. amir hates johnny so much he put together a whole act, practiced it until he was confident, put it on, picked you, johnny's crush, out of the crowd to perform with, and proceeded to bring down the house with his talent and have an intimate moment with you onstage. in front of everyone. at the bar where johnny performs. which is also your boyfriends' bar. levels of petty not previously thought possible

[thatonespriteobsessedbitch]

Okay, what if the Dateivators were called the Careivators and the house owner was a kid? Orphaned, living with their aunt who's always away on business, trying to take care of themselves. One day, they get these glasses which turn anything into people. It's all the same, but everyone doesn't flirt with the child. (Obviously). They sleep in their aunt's room so Betty comforts them after an encounter with Nightmare. The Hanks are ecstatic to be the cool uncles. Barry walks them through how to take care of themselves. Ben-Hwa has the decency to be restrained around a child (I like to think they say their "accessories" are just feathers). Beverly makes them mocktails while they dance with Rainey.

Dorian's protective instincts would be through the roof. Keith is not pulling one over this kid on his watch.

Could you imagine the confusion and panic on Volt and Eddie's faces when an 8-year-old walks in? Could you imagine how happy Parker would be to have someone to play with more often? How happy Bodhi would be to teach the kid all about his era?

Jean Loo would be the favorite. He's literally toilet humor.

[thatonespriteobsessedbitch]

Dateables taking care of the player past the end of the game.

Dateables making player move from their old house to somewhere in the middle of a city, in which(the city, the country, or around the country) majority of the realised objects live after a couple of years post-game. Because at that point, the player developed a strong fear of abandonment over those years, to the point where if any of the dateables won't visit them, they for sure will develop some kind of addiction. (Plus the player probably-definitely has agoraphobia at this point, and living in the middle of the city will at the very least encourage them leaving the house.) And they make it feel like the player's idea too. As if none of them weren't purposefully gushing about that new country, or cooking meals/watching movies from it. They all have been around Keith. They know how to manipulate. And it was for their human, so no harm done. And they say that moving was so spontaneous! As if they didn't plan every single step of it. As if the closest supermarket being right outside Eddie's and Volt's house is just a luck accident(and every time the player will be about to fall into something like alcoholism, over-eating or under-eating, they would just bump into Volt, who would busy them into a talk, while Eddie takes away the stuff harmful to them & puts the stuff they need into their cart, would be just a coincidence)! And their new job being next to the place where Amir lives? Of how funny that is(as if the player won't be visited by him the moment they start to look a bit too pale, or a bit too sad)! The money that the player will get in a mail, that increases every time they look depressed? Oh, Sophia must've had a good heist(and totally didn't see the player's sad face somewhere, because her hide-out is near)! Everything got much better, and the player doesn't need to know that they have been manipulated, just a bit. They are happy, the dateables are happy, and that's all that matters.

[thatonespriteobsessedbitch]

Y'all this fucking game man

I look in the mirror? I think of Amir

Take a shower? Singing a duet with Johnny Splash

Look through the fridge? Hi Freddy

Come inside after being out in the fuckass summer heat? Thank you, Hector, for cooling the house

I'm so FUCKING NORMAL-

[thatonespriteobsessedbitch]

my favorite part about Date Everything is that it becomes a horror game when you actually think about it for even a moment.

everything in your house. is alive.

every appliance, every piece of furniture. the air you breathe, the water you flush down the toilet. the goddamn toilet itself.

they've been alive, the whole time. watching, listening, judging. there is nothing they do not know. they've seen and heard everything you thought was private.

think of all those moments you have when you're alone in your home. the things you would never let anyone else see. every gross, embarrassing, intimate, heartbroken, and painful moment. even your nightmares were laughing at you.

and you were never actually alone. for any of it.

those nights you cried yourself to sleep? your bed could feel your tears soaking into her.

that time you got so sick you spent the whole day on the bathroom floor? the floor could feel herself grow slippery with your sweat.

and it's not their fault, of course it isn't. i'm sure Betty would have held you if she could, stroking your back until you fell asleep. i'm sure florence would have gotten you a cool rag and a glass of water if she'd been able.

it's as much torture for them as it is for you.

maybe when you're mad your slam your doors. or maybe you throw your dirty clothes into a corner and wait too long to wash them again. maybe you once plugged in one too many things and blew a fuse.

and none of them, not dorian or dirk or eddie or volt were able to tell you that you were hurting them. they could only suffer and endure.

and that's not your fault. if you'd known they could feel, you'd have been much more careful. but you still hurt them all the same.

also almost every single one of them has probably seen you naked.

[thatonespriteobsessedbitch]

Eddie and Volt were created in a lab for me

[thatonespriteobsessedbitch]

the office objects do get a bit quirky at night...