thatssomebadhat89

[thatssomebadhat89]

So have any of you freaks (affectionately) seen the opening scene of Warfare and thought ‘I wonder if Jack did that on deployment?’

Just me? Okay

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If Shawn wins an Emmy this awards season, how realistic is it that he thanks his oomfs in his acceptance speech??

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This is canon for me now

most niche rabbot headcanon? jack's name is actually john. neither of the two people in this ship refer to each other by the names on their birth certificates.

[thatssomebadhat89]

My post about mid life crisis, patron saint of panic attacks Robby is one step closer to being real

Wait ok the whole motorcycle helmet thing, I looked into it, for anyone who isn’t seeing it, it’s in the video that was posted. I screenshot and circled it. It’s hanging off his backpack which I haven’t seen anyone say/clarify yet which lead to confusion

Could also just be a bicycle helmet I won’t lie

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"i can juggle"

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"Are you flexing, Hatosy? You better not flex. Don't you flex on me" x

[thatssomebadhat89]

The Ongoing Pitt Freefall

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My fever dream for season 2 of The Pitt is Robby crashes out so hard he shows up to work with his ear pierced wearing an adidas track suit. I know this will never happen but a girl can dream

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Those Danny Zuko rolled up sleeves tho

Cause, man… what the FUCK.

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Someone: *does something stupid* Abbot: Dr. Mohan would never

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idk i just. i gotta say there is something so powerful about having two alpha male coded characters discussing their emotions on a rooftop while grappling with overt suicidality and having the most alpha of the two not only providing emotional support and words of affirmation but actively endorsing therapy. admitting that he goes and it helps. do you understand how insane that is. they really wrote jack abbot to be in the middle of a venn diagram of suicidal demographics and said we're not going to leave him there, we're going to make him be the one who is advocating for the mental health care of healthcare workers. Do you get this. he's a white male veteran between like 18-50 who undoubtedly has access to a firearm. he's disabled, he works in emergency medicine as an attending and we have no idea what kind of support system he has outside of work. like. that is a man i would be actively worried about in my workplace. that is a man who knows how to kill himself and make it stick. and he's talking about his therapist out in the open. the amount of stigma and internalized masculine ideals and military masculinity he has worked through. do you. do you understand. do you understand what an incredible character jack abbot is. i'm tearing up. robby is terrified someone will find out he has ptsd and panic attacks and jack is telling him it's okay. implying he has them too. it's okay because you came out and went right back in it. you were who we needed you to be, and it wasn't fair and it's okay to not be okay. it's okay to need help. jack. jack abbot said those things.

jack abbot you have my entire heart

[thatssomebadhat89]

Honestly I think Shawn, a grown man, can stand up for himself lol

“He’s a grown man, he can stand up for himself.”

Right—but that response isn’t as neutral as you think. It’s a deflection. A way of shifting responsibility for boundary enforcement back onto the individual who’s been placed in an uncomfortable position, rather than asking why he was put there in the first place.

Because this isn’t about whether Shawn Hatosy—or Pedro Pascal, or any other man—can assert a boundary. It’s about how we’ve created a culture that expects them not to. It’s about how consent is routinely ignored, overwritten, or turned into a joke in public space—especially when it comes to men, especially when it’s dressed up as irony, “feminist thirst,” or progressive kink-positivity.

It’s about the refusal to admit that consent isn’t just about sex.

Consent is about presence. It’s about participation. It’s about emotional safety. And it’s about power.

And that matters in every context—including fandom, celebrity culture, and the increasingly blurred space between admiration and projection.

When you call a male celebrity “daddy” in the middle of an interview—on camera, unprompted, fully aware it’ll go viral—you’re not giving a harmless compliment. You’re placing him inside a sexualized, hierarchical, kink-coded role, and demanding a performance. You’re not inviting him into a shared dynamic. You’re building one around him and daring him to resist.

And that’s not just parasocial behavior. That’s coercion. Coercion dressed up in a clickbait blazer and a winking “teehee.”

And patriarchy? Patriarchy loves that. Because patriarchy has always taught us that men, especially older, stoic, men, aren’t allowed to have boundaries. That they should be flattered by sexual attention. That their discomfort is a flaw in the man, not a failure of the situation. That a man’s silence means yes.

So when a male celebrity tenses up or shifts uncomfortably after being called “daddy,” we don’t pause. We dismiss him. We say:

“Come on, it’s just a joke.”

“He’s hot. He can take it.”

“It’s part of the job.”

That’s not the language of consent. That’s the language of normalized entitlement.

Now compare that to when I commented on Shawn Hatosy’s TikTok and said he was “so babygirl-coded.” And he liked it.

Why? Because “babygirl,” as it functions in contemporary online fan culture, isn’t built on dominance or performance. It doesn’t demand control. It doesn’t assign erotic authority. It’s a term that signals affection, vulnerability, softness—a playful, sometimes absurd, often tender reverence for men who deviate from traditional masculinity.

That kind of language lives within fandom culture—inside our sandboxes. And when I call someone “babygirl-coded,” that person can ignore it, engage with it, scroll past, or opt in. There’s no pressure. It’s an aesthetic label, not a demand. So when Shawn likes that comment, he’s participating on his own terms. That’s what parasocial consent looks like: voluntary, pressure-free, and rooted in choice.

Now imagine if I had written, “You’re such a daddy. Ruin me.” Totally different tone. Totally different power dynamic. Even if he never saw it, I’d still be inserting a kink-coded script into a public space as if he had agreed to it. And if he had seen it and felt uncomfortable? The onus would fall on him to disengage quietly or laugh it off, because culturally, we’ve given men almost no tools to say “no” without backlash.

Feminist methodology asks better questions:

Whose comfort is protected?

Whose silence is treated as consent?

Whose body is seen as public property?

Whose boundaries get overwritten for the sake of the bit?

We know the answers. They’re gendered. And they’re broken.

When a man is called “daddy” during a press tour, he’s not being asked to play. He’s being expected to perform, sexually, powerfully, on command. And if he doesn’t? The consequences aren’t just social, they’re structural. He’s seen as less fun. Less marketable. Less valuable as content.

That isn’t just unfair. It’s anti-consensual.

As Sara Ahmed writes, to be the one who names a problem is so often to become the problem. The one who says “this feels off,” “this crosses a line,” or simply, “this makes me uncomfortable” is marked as difficult, humorless, or ungrateful. We see this dynamic unfold constantly with male celebrities—especially those who don’t laugh when called “daddy” in person, or who subtly resist being pulled into a sexualized performance they didn’t agree to.

When a man sets a boundary, even quietly, he disrupts the fantasy. And instead of asking what created the discomfort, the culture asks why he couldn't just go along. Because admitting that men can say no, that they’re allowed to feel uneasy, that they don’t exist for our projection, requires challenging the very entitlement fandom often runs on.

So let’s be clear: You can thirst. You can spiral. You can bark, cry, and post your little essays about his shoulders in peace. You can call him whatever in your sandbox corner of the internet.

But forcing someone into your kink-coded fantasy in person, without their consent, and then reacting negatively when they don’t play along, isn’t empowering. It’s not subversive. It’s just public boundary crossing, dressed up as flirtation.

It’s not “owning the gaze.” It’s replicating it—just with the roles reversed.

And reversing the roles isn’t the same as dismantling them.

Roles—no matter how ironic or reversed—are still roles. And assigning someone a role without their participation isn’t liberation. It’s just performance under pressure.

So yes, he’s a grown man.

And that’s exactly why his boundaries matter—especially because he’s not just a celebrity, but a real person, and a parent. Being called “daddy” in person, during a professional setting, isn’t just awkward—it’s an unsolicited invitation into a kink-coded dynamic he didn’t agree to. And when that man is a father in real life, the term becomes even more jarring, blurring roles in a way that’s neither funny nor flattering. His visibility shouldn’t come with the expectation that he absorb sexual projection or emotional labor just to keep the mood light. Silence is not consent. And feminist ethics, if we’re actually practicing them, demand more than clever thirst and role reversal. They require awareness, accountability, and respect for boundaries, no matter who you’re talking to or how attractive you think they are.

And if your only defense is “He can take it,” you’ve already admitted he might not want it, and decided you didn’t care.

That’s not fandom. That’s entitlement. Wrapped in a punchline and passed off as progressive. (referencing this interview)

[thatssomebadhat89]

This man is so fucking cute I’ll never get over it

Shawn Hatosy blushing about his twitter presence. x

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I feel this deep in my soul

Stanning Shawn Hatosy really has me squinting at grainy footage of a bunch of white people playing pickleball

Like, this isn't what I was meant to do in my life

I used to have aspirations

[thatssomebadhat89]

I’ll never get over his sexy cigarette voice

"This makes me so happy."

[thatssomebadhat89]

shawn hatosy stuns in new selfie