the-ace-of-weasels

[the-ace-of-weasels]

if you’re referring to the “you’re allowed to want people to refer to you as queer (yes, even cishets jfc)“ that isn’t saying people who aren’t LGBT+ should be allowed to call themselves queer. there is a mindset that non-LGBT+ people should never under any circumstances use the word queer, that’s saying it’s fine for everyone including non-LGBT+ people to call people who actively identify as queer and wished to be referred to as such queer.

what reclaiming "queer" means

don't call someone queer if they've explicitly asked you not to

what reclaiming "queer" ALSO means

you're allowed to freely use the word queer to talk about yourself, your perspective and other queer folks, without restriction

you're allowed to talk about queer community

you're allowed to refer to queer literature, art, music, and history under the umbrella "queer"

you're allowed to call fictional characters queer

you're allowed to want people to refer to you as queer (yes, even cishets jfc)

you should never be shamed, harassed or attacked for using the word queer in these contexts, or any context where you're not directly calling someone queer who has asked you not to

[the-ace-of-weasels]

ADSHFASFSDF

so today my aunt from this incident 4 years ago freaking called up my dad, mention the safety pin thing, mention she felt I’d threatened her and my cousins, that I made them feel unsafe, and then went “oh, by the way, did you know your daughter is a lesbian?”

that is just... wow... I’ve said jack shit to anyone on that side of the family for months, I’ve even basically avoided Facebook as much as possible because everyone from that side of the family except for one distant cousin is like that and out of the blue she brings up something from four years ago that she and her daughters should feel embarrassed about if they had any sense and decency, calls my dad rather than bring it up with me, a grown-ass person who is older than her adult grandkids, amps the drama level of it way up in a way that attempts to make her and her daughters look like poor innocent victims, and then you know by the “by the way, did you know...” she was assuming my dad doesn’t know I’m queer and trying to cause trouble for me by outing me on top of everything else.

I’m just... wow... the drama, the self-centeredness, the projection, the fact she got my orientation wrong even when I’m 100% out as asexual on Facebook

one good thing came from this, I never brought up being ace with my dad and since I know he’s 100% LGBT+ rights (his eldest granddaughter is married to a woman and he’s totally supportive of it, plus my older bro dated a guy in high school and he was fine with that as well) I mentioned “if anything I’m asexual” and after I explained that he was “I can see that” and totally chill with it. I was worried after he did that whole “I never ordered a cripple for a daughter” deviating anymore from his expectations of what I should have turned out to be would be something he’d take more negatively.

also, I’m ranting about this here since French stalker is getting active again and she’s already started finding people I mention in vent posts on my main tumblr, contacting them, and causing drama again and I know she hunted down enough of my info to contact that aunt and those cousins. I mean, the obsessive thing freaking doxxed me at least twice that I’ve caught.

[the-ace-of-weasels]

so I notice I’m getting notifications for this sideblog, what do I find when I check them?

I see this reblog thread of this getting reblogged by ace exclusionists/transmeds/truscum/anti-pan/anti-MOGAI/anti-queer/exorsexist (at least one is also anti-BLM and anti-feminist). over 40 notes for this post in less than two weeks, all from those kind of people reblogging and occasionally adding to a reblog chain mocking it.

they fucking dug up a post I made about 2 years ago when paingry ranting about shit I saw exclusionists pull and mocking it and ignoring the reblogs I did myself that expanded on what I meant and, wow, they really like to dig for the stuff they mock don’t they?

if you’re an exclusionist who believes the desexualization of minorities is bad but support or see no problem with the desexualization of aces or don’t call out exclusionist who desexualize aces you’re a hypocrite.

signed, a disabled ace that has to deal with enough desexualization as is

[the-ace-of-weasels]

anywho, if anyone still following me here needs a dose of cuteness I got three new chicks (since unfortunately this year we lost two chickens and one duck) and I have a sideblog for them at @flock-you

I know with this whole COVID-19 thing every little bit of positivity helps so I’m gonna do my best to post something about them at least once a day since there’s nothing like baby animals to brighten someone’s day.

[the-ace-of-weasels]

REGs are all the same. I remember when some ace exclusionist called me, an AFAB enby, a cunt when I was dysphoric and tried to argue that there was nothing gendered about the word cunt.

they virtually never acknowledge that using a word with gendered roots can be misgendering or outright triggering, virtually never apologize, and always try and twist it back on us for being too touchy or some other BS reason. and they frequently get their little REG friends backing them up on it too.

Me: Perhaps stop and consider the implications and impact of what you are saying before you, say, blame a trans lesbian for straight dudes assaulting lesbians. @thatisnotcorrectcentral: Fuck you, you can’t make me! GUILT TRIPPING! GUILT TRIPPING! GUILT TRIPPING! Also go to therapy.

Yet again, REGs prove that they traded away their self-awareness in order to become living avatars of hatred and toxicity, and their only remaining skill is projection.

[the-ace-of-weasels]

able bodied people and be fucking wild sometimes, I swear.

someone gave an answer on Quora that was a story about an able bodied crusader going into an establishment threatening to slash the tires on a large truck parked in a handicapped spot because he didn’t notice the disabled veteran plate on it. the crusader was acting confrontative and verbally aggressive and looking like he could get physically aggressive as well while ignoring the regulars there trying to tell him he missed the plates indicating that the person could park there. the crusader wound up getting embarrassed when the person parking in the handicapped spot proved he was disabled.

a lot of comments were people saying the crusader deserved getting embarrassed like that because even if someone was wrongly parked there (or just forgot to hang up their tag) that was basically one of the worst possible ways to react to that.

Able Bodied Asshole (ABA) gets into the comments white knighting the crusader, saying we shouldn’t be mocking him and laughing at him getting embarrassed like that, we should be thanking him and others like him for standing up like that because of the “huge problem” of people wrongly parking in handicapped spots.

like, ABA is telling this also to disabled people who think the crusader was asking for it and saying they’ve been harassed by people like that crusader for using handicapped spots because even if they had their tag hanging up some crusader thought they were faking it, or they forgot to hang it up and some crusader went straight to threatening them. ABA is even telling people, including some disabled people who commented, that they’re just as bad as they see the crusader as being because they’re jumping to conclusions without knowing what the crusaders side of the story is.

like, if someone goes straight to threatening harm to someone’s property or person over something like thinking someone is wrongly parked in a handicapped spot without ever assuming they missed something or a handicapped person just forgot their tag they’re not the good guy. at best they’re someone who means well but doesn’t mind accidentally harassing/assaulting a disabled person in the process. which is not being an ally to disabled people and makes them, in my opinion, more of a problem than a single person misusing a handicapped spot.

and ABA, when I commented last, he literally told me I was doing the same thing as the crusader who was out ready to slash tires because he thought someone was wrongly parked in a handicapped spot just because I agreed with people that he kind of did deserve to be embarrassed like that for being so aggressive and bullheaded in how he handled it.

[the-ace-of-weasels]

honestly the logic behind their argument confuses me on a logical level. plus the focus on attraction to the same gender as a queer orientation is potentially harmful to both aces/aros and to nonbinary people who may have no same or similar gender to be attracted to. 

why not focus on lack of attraction to an “opposite” gender as well, or specify opposite binary gender which would automatically put enbies in the non-straight category?

oh, I know it’s because of their issues, that they want to target aces/aros, and maybe even enbies as well, because they think we’re really “straight and/or cis invaders” (or at least that’s how they attempt to vocally logic it so it sounds reasonable), but the fact that actual straight homophobes put so much emphasis on having to be attracted to an opposite gender (and only an opposite gender) as the mark of True Straightness makes their logic illogical.

“Aces aren’t straight”

So… all aces are gay or bisexual then?

“No!!”

So they’re straight if they don’t experience same gender attractions! Glad we worked that out.

[the-ace-of-weasels]

Can inclusionists at least agree that babies can’t be ace and that the sexualization of children is gross

[the-ace-of-weasels]

“We chose the term “asexual” to describe ourselves because both “celibate” and “anti-sexual” have connotations we wished to avoid: the first implies that one has sacrificed sexuality for some higher good, the second that sexuality is degrading or somehow inherently bad. “Asexual”, as we use it, does not mean “without sex” but “relating sexually to no one”. This does not, of course, exclude masturbation but implies that if one has sexual feelings they do not require another person for their expression. Asexuality is, simply, self-contained sexuality.”

— The Asexual Manifesto, Lisa Orlando and Barbara Getz, 1972

[the-ace-of-weasels]

I’d like to note that at least some Walmarts have silicone rings too, they come in sets and if you get both sets you’ll have all the ace pride colors and some extras. silicone rings are also a bit more forgiving in terms of size. they’ve got them up front in the register aisles at the Walmart where I live and I’ve seen them in the same area in another Walmart when I was out of town.

I'd really like to get an ace ring but I've tried various ring sizing methods and got different answers so I'm not sure about getting one online and I don't know where to find one irl where I can try it on. Any advice?

Try Walmart or Target. They both have rings you can test sizing. I tend to like to wear my rings bigger anyways. Walmart has their rings in one spot, Target will have them in jewelry and if you want a rubber one in their sports. If you don’t have a Target, Kmart, or really whatever store like it.

[the-ace-of-weasels]

Happy Birthday To Japan’s Ace!

[the-ace-of-weasels]

So I was lamenting about how it’s queerphobia to make fun of queer people by calling them kweer and someone pointed out that it’s also racist. Since it’s used by people of color as a self identifier. 

Given that many probably haven’t heard of this before they followed the comment up.

I know where white Americans English speakers got “kweer” from. It’s to make fun of people who found liberation in the works of queer American activists in the decades before them. It’s a way to call an lgbtq person cringey for existing.

What I hadn’t accounted for was Americans’ one sided understanding of the world being (accidentally?) racist in this fashion. I admit I have not read all 280 pages. But if you’re interesting there’s a link.

[the-ace-of-weasels]

nah, the fun moment is the moment you realize they only care about the opinions of them when those opinions fit their narrative. if they don’t fit they’ll tell you the opinions of cishets don’t matter.

and I say this since in the past I have shared what I’ve been told by local right wing conservative bigots about asexuality (and what I’ve been told is basically it’s just as bad as any other flavor of LGBT+) and had exclusionists tell me that meant nothing.

i decided to have a conversation with my republican and conservative mom about “ace discourse”

inch resting

[the-ace-of-weasels]

Today is a good day to remember that the black panther party always was a proponent for queer rights and queer activists today can repay that kindness by supporting groups such as black lives matter and by working to eliminate racism in our own communities.

[the-ace-of-weasels]

It took a pic showing I couldn't go any further to get that info. Now I just need to wait untill she sends me the verification code she was sent.

Fuck Apple products.

My friend's iPad is acting up and she wants me to fix it. She forgot her laptop password so I don't have access to any backups (provided she made any), potential fixes involve having iTunes on your computer, I deleted that the moment I didn't need it anymore, and it doesn't want to reinstall.

She thinks I'm some tech guru since I know how to Google up how to fix things and will probably decide I wasn't taking things seriously enough if I can't fix it.

To be honest, the way she's taken advantage of me fixing her laptop in the past (I once spent 5 days straight getting nasty reinstalling malware off her laptop that came with the smallest RAM necessary for the OS on it and she didn't want to comp me for that work at all, I barely got a thanks for that at first) it isn't as much of a priority as it could be for me. It's still annoying how much of a fuss this is being and thinking of what I can expect from her if I can't get it working again.

[the-ace-of-weasels]

Also, she doesn't want to give me the username and password for her iTunes account in case I need it.

Fuck Apple products.

My friend's iPad is acting up and she wants me to fix it. She forgot her laptop password so I don't have access to any backups (provided she made any), potential fixes involve having iTunes on your computer, I deleted that the moment I didn't need it anymore, and it doesn't want to reinstall.

She thinks I'm some tech guru since I know how to Google up how to fix things and will probably decide I wasn't taking things seriously enough if I can't fix it.

To be honest, the way she's taken advantage of me fixing her laptop in the past (I once spent 5 days straight getting nasty reinstalling malware off her laptop that came with the smallest RAM necessary for the OS on it and she didn't want to comp me for that work at all, I barely got a thanks for that at first) it isn't as much of a priority as it could be for me. It's still annoying how much of a fuss this is being and thinking of what I can expect from her if I can't get it working again.

[the-ace-of-weasels]

Fuck Apple products.

My friend's iPad is acting up and she wants me to fix it. She forgot her laptop password so I don't have access to any backups (provided she made any), potential fixes involve having iTunes on your computer, I deleted that the moment I didn't need it anymore, and it doesn't want to reinstall.

She thinks I'm some tech guru since I know how to Google up how to fix things and will probably decide I wasn't taking things seriously enough if I can't fix it.

To be honest, the way she's taken advantage of me fixing her laptop in the past (I once spent 5 days straight getting nasty reinstalling malware off her laptop that came with the smallest RAM necessary for the OS on it and she didn't want to comp me for that work at all, I barely got a thanks for that at first) it isn't as much of a priority as it could be for me. It's still annoying how much of a fuss this is being and thinking of what I can expect from her if I can't get it working again.