i love vampires because they truly are just the "anything goes" monster. you can do pretty much anything you want with vampires as long as they drink blood pretty much
Aries: You can be ugly as sin, but if you’re genuinely charming, you can make sin pretty hot.
Taurus: Spend some time outdoors today. Reflect on the state of the world. See yourself reflected in the world and try to fight the other person who is interrupting your reflection time.
Gemini: You are a bit of a workaholic. Not a bad thing if you understand that rest is a part of sustainable work. Part of being a workaholic is being a relaxaholic.
Cancer: The world seems grey and lifeless. The color balance is off. Smack yourself in the temple a couple times, that should fix it.
Leo: You have more in common with your neighbors than you may expect! Both of you are humans!
Virgo: There are small objects you remember from a the distant past raining from the sky. Collect only the ones you remember.
Libra: The position of the planets indicate that you are the most attractive motherfucker in this room.
Scorpio: It’s in the stars that anything you try today will turn out pretty alright. Not great not terrible, all you endeavors will be whatever.
Ophiuchus: You must understand the worst parts of someone to love them.
Sagittarius: Progress is not always linear! It involves discovering why a course of action may not be the best choice! You can get rid of the bodies and try again!
Capricorn: You’re gonna wake up in your yard covered in bird skulls again. Leave out some snacks beforehand to make sure you have the energy you need for the day.
Aquarius: Apply yourself to the world with tape so that nothing might remove you from what you love.
Pisces: This is the wisdom of the world. Everything is either a bean, or not a bean.