the-bravest-ufo-you-know-blog

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How the frag do you even get off the ground, shaped like that?

How do you fit through doors, shaped like that?

[the-bravest-ufo-you-know-blog]

“Energon is fine Brawl, thank you very much.”

Keep the tank happy and you don’t die. Cosmos could do this, he had too.

Arranging Christmas

Onslaught watched Brawl scuttle off, the self-satisfied smirk behind his faceplate only widening. He deliberately took some time before he turned to Cosmos again and answered. “If he wrote a list I do not know of it” he mused, “And his name is Brawl.” Noticing that they were still standing around, Onslaught figured that it would be rude to let their guest not sit down. He pointed at one of the chairs at the table.

“Why don’t you take a seat while we wait for him to return? I consider it bad manners to have my guests refuel while standing.”

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Cosmos nodded, “Yes, please. If you don’t mind.”

He watched as the tank skipped off, then turned to Onslaught, a worried look on his faceplates. “I need to know his name. Did he send a list of things he wanted?” The UFO used a hushed voice, in case the tank heard.

Arranging Christmas

Onslaught nodded and gave Brawl a self-confident look. “I did.” He spared Cosmos from a pat shoulder for doing such a good acting, since he was worried that the gesture might make the UFO freak out more than necessary.

Despite the act going well so far, Onslaught did however get the feeling that he had forgotten something important. But he couldn’t think of anything. Maybe he should have looked into this holiday more before trying to pull it off…On the other hand it had been done in a bit of a rush so there hadn’t been that much time for preparations.

[the-bravest-ufo-you-know-blog]

Cosmos was nervous, the tank seemed to be buying it. Maybe he would could leave here alive, “He called me! Asked me to visit you!” The UFO hoped that was the answer Onslaught wanted, and that he would tell him the tanks name.

Primus, what if he died in this get up.

Arranging Christmas

Even though Onslaught was taking this completely seriously, a small chuckle almost escaped him as the Autobot called Brawl “little boy”. If anything, the tank was probably the polar opposite of a little boy. However, countless years of practice in restraining his emotions (apart from rage, apparently) helped him keep a completely straight face.

He kept his optics on Brawl, closely observing the tank’s reaction; and even now Onslaught could already tell that this was obviously the last thing Brawl would have expected to happen ever, so the whole plan was already a success.

[the-bravest-ufo-you-know-blog]

Oh wow that Decepticon was huge, Cosmos knew he would have real convincing if he wanted to leave alive. Ok, he could do this. It would help though if the ‘Con who kidnapped him had given him the tanks name at least.

“Ho, ho,ho! Hello little boy, it’s me Santa! Your Boss told me you have been a very good boy lately!”

Cosmos wasn’t going to tell anyone about this, this was way too embarrassing. 

Arranging Christmas

  Onslaught stepped back, scrutinizing the UFO carefully. Yes, that should do. Not that Onslaught had much knowledge about how Santa Claus was supposed to look like apart from the costume. He nodded slowly.

“That’s all for now. If I think of anything else, I’ll tell you” the Combaticon leader said and hoped that the Autobot would be convincing enough for Brawl. Putting his gun away for now (since it would probably make a weird impression if he was threatening Santa Claus) he opened a comm link to said tank.

«Brawl, come here. I have someone here who wants to meet you.»

[the-bravest-ufo-you-know-blog]

sharptalkingdatsun:

What’s a pudding cup? Isn’t that some type of food or something? Why do humans think you’re some type of human food? That’s really odd but then again most things humans do don’t make much sense to me to begin with. Also, what’s that thing you’re wearing? Is that a dress? I wonder how you managed to find an article of clothing that was Cybertronian sized. I wouldn’t mind wearing a hat or something though. I think hats are really cool looking. Not sure how that would fit over my chevron though. But I imagine it’d look better than me trying to fit anything over my doorwrings. Oh but that dress thing is a really good color for you, Cosmos. Really brings out your helm and accentuates your frame.

Blushes, hands covering his face, "Thanks Bluestreak. That's really nice of you." Cosmos wasn't used to compliments, and it had been a while sense his last conversation. "It was just in my room, maybe someone will give you one?"

[the-bravest-ufo-you-know-blog]

I'm not a pudding cup.

For lizardtakesflight.

Cosmos always appreciated the others’ efforts to include him whenever he was able to be on base for a stint. He did, really, and it felt good to be around people again after the quiet of orbit. But sometimes they had wierd ideas, made all the wierder when he was completely out of the loop.

Cosmos knew what his frame looked like. Not the sexiest, or most impressive, but he was just fine with that. It allowed him to perform his function more than adequately, was very useful, and he wouldn’t trade it for anything.

But he was the shape of an extraterrestrial pudding cup. Whatever human silliness the others were laughing about, human garments of this nature just weren’t made for this. It simply wasn’t fair to ask it of them.

He really is a pudding cup. It is very difficult to find flattering lingerie for pudding cups.

[the-bravest-ufo-you-know-blog]

How's My Driving?

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[the-bravest-ufo-you-know-blog]

This was by far the weirdest thing Cosmos had ever experienced, being forced to be Santa Claus by the Decepticons. Maybe this was some weird dream, maybe he had finally lost it, either way he didn’t fancy finding out if it meant being shot.

Taking the suit, Cosmos put it on, it fit rather well. This was so weird.

“Alright, I’ll be a good Santa Claus. Anything I should know?” 

Arranging Christmas

Who hadn’t heard of Christmas, the humans sure went on about it. That suit-Santa Claus? This Decepticon wanted him to dress up as Santa? Why? None of this made sense, but one look at the gun and Cosmos knew he had no choice.

“I know about Christmas and Santa. What do you want me to do?” 

[the-bravest-ufo-you-know-blog]

Who hadn’t heard of Christmas, the humans sure went on about it. That suit-Santa Claus? This Decepticon wanted him to dress up as Santa? Why? None of this made sense, but one look at the gun and Cosmos knew he had no choice.

“I know about Christmas and Santa. What do you want me to do?” 

Arranging Christmas

The small green mech nodded, this ‘Con looked angrier than Megatron.

“W-What do you need?”

Cosmos hoped this was something simple, something where no one got hurt. Slim chance of that happening. Maybe he should send out an SOS.. 

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The small green mech nodded, this ‘Con looked angrier than Megatron.

“W-What do you need?”

Cosmos hoped this was something simple, something where no one got hurt. Slim chance of that happening. Maybe he should send out an SOS.. 

Arranging Christmas

When Cosmos woke up it felt like he had dragged along the ground for quite some time, he felt groggy and the small Autobot had a sense of dread suddenly. Warily opening his optics, Cosmos was met with a gun in his face and a very angry looking large Decepticon.

“C-Can I help you?”  

[the-bravest-ufo-you-know-blog]

When Cosmos woke up it felt like he had dragged along the ground for quite some time, he felt groggy and the small Autobot had a sense of dread suddenly. Warily opening his optics, Cosmos was met with a gun in his face and a very angry looking large Decepticon.

“C-Can I help you?”  

Arranging Christmas

Cosmos was hit with something, whatever it was caused him to be knocked offline . Crashing to the ground and causing a large dust cloud, the UFO mech wasn’t too badly damaged, he was flying low after all.

As Cosmos was dragged away, he was unaware he was about to become Santa.

[the-bravest-ufo-you-know-blog]

Cosmos was hit with something, whatever it was caused him to be knocked offline . Crashing to the ground and causing a large dust cloud, the UFO mech wasn’t too badly damaged, he was flying low after all.

As Cosmos was dragged away, he was unaware he was about to become Santa.

Arranging Christmas

Christmas is getting nearer, and despite Onslaught himself being quite indifferent about it, there is a certain tank who is quite fond of this holiday. And also prone to throwing tantrums if no one shares his enthusiasm (be it fake or not).

Secretly buying presents and pretending Santa brought them is one thing, but for this year Onslaught had a rather special idea. And therefore, he is now quite far away from their base, sitting on a hill in his alt mode and waiting.

This year he is going to make it possible for Brawl to meet Santa, and he already knows how. All he needs now is an unwary Autobot.

[the-bravest-ufo-you-know-blog]

Cosmos was returning to the Autobot base after some time in space, flying just above the clouds, the UFO had decided to take a detour. A nice long relaxing flight before he had to return.

Cosmos was unaware of the impending doom.

Arranging Christmas

Christmas is getting nearer, and despite Onslaught himself being quite indifferent about it, there is a certain tank who is quite fond of this holiday. And also prone to throwing tantrums if no one shares his enthusiasm (be it fake or not).

Secretly buying presents and pretending Santa brought them is one thing, but for this year Onslaught had a rather special idea. And therefore, he is now quite far away from their base, sitting on a hill in his alt mode and waiting.

This year he is going to make it possible for Brawl to meet Santa, and he already knows how. All he needs now is an unwary Autobot.

[the-bravest-ufo-you-know-blog]

It looks as though I have most of the materials I need, if you would like to stop by for your screening.

Ok! I can head down now, you need me to bring anything, Perceptor? 

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[the-bravest-ufo-you-know-blog]

Why do you all keep picking me up and hugging me?