the-c0ffee-queen

[the-c0ffee-queen]

[the-c0ffee-queen]

[the-c0ffee-queen]

If you find yourself obsessing and pining over somebody who you know does not have the mind and heart to genuinely care for you then it’s probably the pain of pursuit that you’re obsessed w - not them! You for some reason do not believe that you are deserving of an easy and comforting love. So you chase situations that validate your poor self-perception. Just a thought. It’s not worth it to resent people 4 not loving you. Ask yourself why you are still fighting to be seen there when you could just. Move on towards reciprocation

[the-c0ffee-queen]

i still don’t understand why recovery isn’t romanticized more. getting better after being at your lowest point? working hard and doing what it takes to feel safe again? knowing that occasional dips aren’t the end of the world? changing yourself and ridding your life of toxic behavior/people? i’m sorry that sounds better than any edgy miserable story i’ve ever heard. 

[the-c0ffee-queen]

me: hmm they haven’t replied to my messages yet…they’re probably busy!!

my brain: it’s because ur an idiot

me: ….it’s because I’m an idiot, actually!!!!!!!!!!

[the-c0ffee-queen]

brain: don’t forget to feel terrible

me: oh yeah thanks

[the-c0ffee-queen]

And they say communications saves relations I can tell,

But I can never write my wrongs, unless I write them down for real.

[the-c0ffee-queen]

[the-c0ffee-queen]

I wish I could just run away somewhere far far away from everyone I know. I’m meant for more than this

[the-c0ffee-queen]

[the-c0ffee-queen]

[the-c0ffee-queen]

Ocarina of Time Temples by Tom Garden

[the-c0ffee-queen]

[the-c0ffee-queen]

blocking my thoughts and feelings

[the-c0ffee-queen]

[the-c0ffee-queen]

People always tell me to get over my past. Move past it. Heal. Go forward. How do I do that when my past was burned on me with a branding iron. It’s a wound that is never fully healed. Sometimes I think it’s gone, other times it burns white hot. I don’t think the pain ever goes away, so why try get over something that will never heal? Why try and erase things that made me who I am today. For better or for worse I am who I am, whoever that is. Why try to change when it never works, when I always end up hurting and alone. I’m the only one who has power in my own life and i fuck up every time I try to fix it. Hopelessness is when you realize this is who you will be for the rest of your life.

[the-c0ffee-queen]