the-girl-almighty - Tumblr blog

[the-girl-almighty]

[the-girl-almighty]

[the-girl-almighty]

So cool! Original post here

[the-girl-almighty]

[the-girl-almighty]

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

[the-girl-almighty]

imagine you're anthony bourdain getting invited by maxim de winter to his beautiful estate in manderley to record an upcoming Food Network special. you have a michelin star level meal and then maxim starts ranting about some woman named rebecca and how this bitch ruined his life through her manipulative gorilla grip pussy and baby trapping. maxim starts crying when you point out a hole in his bullshit story and then mrs. danvers, the housekeeper who has been creepin in the corner this whole time, levitates off the ground and yells "HE SAID NO PICKLES" before you get a sudden flashback to when you were 20 years old in a stank ass apartment, offering to suck mrs. danvers' cock to stop the telekinetic torture she's inflicting on your body for trying to fuck mr. de winter while high on drugs. well something really similar happened to my grandpa daniel molloy

[the-girl-almighty]

once i learn to express any strong emotion without bursting into tears it’s over for y’all

[the-girl-almighty]

The thing about flip phones is they would cover the screen when not in use which was good for safety because nowdays the internet demons can escape through the screen into the real world when you’re not looking because nobody seals the portal anymore

[the-girl-almighty]

[the-girl-almighty]

Enemies to "I accidentally came across you while you were vulnerable and scared and I'm not a total asshole so I tried to help you" to "accidental mutual uncovering of softer sides and vulnerabilities" to "I can't be mean to you anymore, not out of pity but because it would feel weird betraying that brief truce we had" to "Fine I'll make an effort to be nice to you now I guess" to "actually now that we're not actively hating each other you're not so bad I guess" to "i think we're friends but I'm not going to say that because I'm afraid you're not gonna feel the same way" to "oh you also think we're friends? Great" to lovers

[the-girl-almighty]

a mummy who broke out of his sarcophagus wrote this

[the-girl-almighty]

at least we're not in that period of time where everyone was making movies set in the 80s with a least one scene of kids riding bikes anymore

[the-girl-almighty]

the role of the person in the passenger seat is not only navigator but secretary as well. you have to type up the drivers messages to random ladies on facebook about cbd cream & google whether that billy joel song was the theme song for that show or not

[the-girl-almighty]

[the-girl-almighty]

THIS HAS ABSOLUTELY MADE MY FUCKING DAY

BRO WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE HES ABOUT TO BURST INTO TEARS 😭😭😭