the-gnomish-bastard - Tumblr blog

[the-gnomish-bastard]

Goes hard

Once you've listened to enough obscure stoner doom metal the albums in your youtube recommendation start toeing the line between "comedy gold" and "images that go hard"

[the-gnomish-bastard]

Yeah you do

If your not careful I'll gather you

[the-gnomish-bastard]

Your intent is to get to nowhere by wandering. Subconscious desire counts too

If your not careful I'll gather you

[the-gnomish-bastard]

Your goal is to get there. That’s the intentional part

If your not careful I'll gather you

[the-gnomish-bastard]

Exactly!

“oh no, my audience has begun to guess the big twists of my story and are accurately predicting what will happen!”

incorrect response: write the rest of the story to be as twisty, shocking and counter to expectations as possible, regardless of whether this is a logical or satisfying way for the plot to go

correct response:

[the-gnomish-bastard]

Not possible. You cannot be intentionally unintentional.

If your not careful I'll gather you

[the-gnomish-bastard]

No, because getting there means traveling. And you can’t travel to nowhere. Not intentionally.

If your not careful I'll gather you

[the-gnomish-bastard]

Nothing

If your not careful I'll gather you

[the-gnomish-bastard]

No, you can go with him and be there, but you can’t get there.

If your not careful I'll gather you

[the-gnomish-bastard]

Not necessarily. You can be in a world of pure imagination, but you can’t get there.

If your not careful I'll gather you

[the-gnomish-bastard]

Ah, but which nowhere?

If your not careful I'll gather you

[the-gnomish-bastard]

That’s being nowhere. Not getting nowhere.

If your not careful I'll gather you

[the-gnomish-bastard]

You’re goddamn right I do, as do the rest of you fuckers.

Shmebulock gets me

[the-gnomish-bastard]

You’d have to get there first. And you can’t get to nowhere

If your not careful I'll gather you

[the-gnomish-bastard]

Good

went to the wizards' convention and everyone there trembled in visceral fear and pulled out their wands when i mentioned your name

[the-gnomish-bastard]

Not in an interesting order! It’s all jumbled and doesn’t belong where it is.

Shmebulock gets me

[the-gnomish-bastard]

The dictionary doesn’t have enough action in it. Terrible plot.

Shmebulock gets me