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this is barty btw

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in my last post I said that hermione and ron speak a language that harry just doesn’t understand…. and now that i think about it more, harry and ron also speak a lanaguge hermione doesn’t understand. the common denominator here is ron. ron is actually the cool hot girl of the group. the fandom hates him because he’s tall, pretty and not a bigot. no further elaboration needed. thank you for coming to my ted talk guys

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Harry: What is your type then?

Ron: Hm, let's see... sweet, but like, unintentionally. Emotionally constipated. Cute smile. Great at defense and shows love through actions and gifts rather than words. Also very oblivious when it comes to people being attracted to him.

Harry: Haha, that sounds like me! Too bad I'm not a girl.

Ron: Did I mention oblivious?

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Barty: I'm not gay! It's only gay if you bottom.

Evan: Bee, we've been dating for 2 years and I don't think you've ever topped. Think it's safe to say you're gay.

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narcissa who always wanted a daughter, but wasn’t able to have any more children after draco,

and draco who transitions as a young adult, becoming said daughter :)

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nothing is more special to me than barty calling evan “angel”

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harry who meets tfem draco in a little bookshop she works at in muggle london while looking for a bday gift for hermione like 10 years after school, not recognizing her in the least not having known she’d transitioned and also being the absolute most oblivious person on the planet. he thinks she’s the absolute most beautiful woman he’s ever met, starts flirting with her, draco is SO confused because why in the hell is harry fucking potter flirting with her after everything that’s happened between the two of them, but hey, she’s had a crush on him since they were 11 (though it was deeply suppressed at the time), so fuck it, why not, sure let’s go out for coffee tomorrow, thank you

the next day, as they’re sitting down for coffee, harry goes “I’m so sorry, I got so caught up in asking you out yesterday I didn’t even ask your name!!” draco, thinking he’s referring to not having asked for her name now that she’s transitioned, goes “oh, I still use my old name, I just now also use the nickname drae” and now harry’s the one who’s kinda confused, as that’s not a very usual answer to asking someone’s name, what’s the context to that,,,,,? and the conversation goes on for a bit with both of them being a little confused, missing each other with all their answers, before draco thinks “wait,,,,,,,,, does he not know who I am??????????????”

draco then stops the conversation to ask, just to be absolutely sure even though she thinks it’s kind of ridiculous that he wouldn’t recognize her, at least in her mind, “I mean I haven’t changed THAT much” much to her surprise, he had zero clue 💀 draco is now panicking, cause “oh my merlin he thought I was a nice girl he met in a random bookshop and now that he knows who I am he’s going to want to leave and ofc he will he hates me I’ve done him so wrong on so many occasions this was way too good to be true etc etc etc”, so she gets up to leave before it gets too awkward, so harry, all confused, asks her where she’s going? “I’m going home, I mean surely you don’t want to be on a date with me knowing who I am” so harry takes her hand, asks her to stay, see where this takes them <3

and they fall in love and live happily ever after

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James has a certain “never let them know your next move” that he brings to social gatherings

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how tf do people stop writing textfics THEY WONT STOP YAPPING

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I just reread Down On His Knees, and now I kinda wanna write more within that au.... maybe with regulus? But mainly rosekiller

I'll put it on a list of things I need to write

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IT'S MY BIRTHDAY, but more importantly, IT'S HARRY'S BIRTHDAY TOO!!!!

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Nothing makes me gnaw on the bars of my enclosure harder than rosekiller where Evan calls Barty "B" or "Bee" and Barty calls Evan "Rosie" or "My Rose"

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Thinking about t4t rosekiller

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RIP Barty crouch jr you would’ve loved Ayesha erotica

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I just reread Down On His Knees, and now I kinda wanna write more within that au.... maybe with regulus? But mainly rosekiller

I'll put it on a list of things I need to write

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Barty and Evan (who haven't admitted they love each other yet) get paired in seven minutes in heaven and everyone is scared to go tell them the time is over because the things that are being heard are unholy

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hiii, i sent the addict james ask

♥️

i love love love jarty and i want so badly to see james breaking down because of an addiction and barty just being so scared because this time james is different- worse- and barty doesn’t know what to do and hes trying so hard to stay in control and help james

- 🫶🏼

Everyone wants angst when do I get to be happy 😭 anyway, headcannon that James has a complicated relationship with food and diet culture because he's an athlete.

Barty has never seen James cry. Not once in all the time they've been together.

He's crying now, full on drowning in tears, snout running out his nose, shaking. Barty doesn't know what to do.

"Hey, It's okay sunshine, what's going on?" Barty gets on his knees beside James, grabs his shoulder on a reassuring touch and tries to look into his eyes.

"I can't do it" James mumbles almost intelligible "I— I can't" his voice breaks with a sob and he falls onto Barty's chest.

And fuck, Barty is never the one on this position, he's never the one who has to comfort someone else, this is not his thing, he doesn't know how to do it, he's going to fuck up.

"What can't you do?" He still asks in a quiet voice as he runs his hands through James' back. James doesn't answer for now, he just keeps crying onto Barty, his shirt growing a wet spot by the moment "It's okay, try to breathe and we'll find a solution later, yeah?"

James nods. It's enough.

They stay like that for a while, James cries, tries to even his breath and the moment it looks like he's made it, he breaks down again. Barty doesn't let go, doesn't stop the soothing touches and words does the best he can trying to be what James needs.

In the end it works out enough, James looks exhausted.

"They said I need to lose weight for the next quidditch season" James mumbles still hiding on Barty's chest. He gets it quite fast. "I don't want it to be bad again, I don't know how to stop losing weight when I start"

"Then don't do it. You've been okay for a while, right? And you've already started losing a couple pounds, I will help you stop"

"No, you can't help" his voice breaks, desperate "nothing can help because now I have it on my brain and it won't let it go until I'm nothing more than bones"

Barty has to swallow. He's seen it. He knows it. The worst of James, when he looks nothing more than an empty carcass thanks to drugs, alcohol or deprivement of food or sleep.

"I'll try to help" Barty still says, as scared as James is "I'm here with you, you're going to be okay"