the-honorable-judge-rattus

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

@grubbed-up-goblen

You do realize that you just admitted to commiting perjury in this courtroom right? You said quote "the only blackberry". I have no choice but to hold you in contempt of court. You must now spend time with your rats today and give them scritches. The good kind, on the back of the neck and under the chin. Let this be a lesson to you.

Is the defendant, Nelson Rattaganz, guilty of eating the only blackberry and not letting his brothers share?

Exhibit a) testimony from his brothers, Ghal Maraz, and Placenta Rattaganz

Placenta: “squee squeak squee SQUEE”

Ghal Maraz: Squee squee squick squeak!

Exhibit b)

The perpetrator has been caught red handed and mouthed! His face and hands are clearly covered in the berry’s juice!!

At first I considered a guilty verdict but the testimony from the brothers, Placenta Rattaganz and Ghal Maraz has moved this court. My heart goes out to these young men.........I don't usually tear up during trial, sorry.

Verdict: Not Guilty. Nelson, I just wanted to say your brothers have beautiful souls. To forgive you for eating the only blackberry is truly an act of rat compassion. The brothers mentioned that it was unfair for them to not have their own blackberries. How the system let them down. The court agrees. I cannot legally order you to each get a black berry in this case, as you're not defendants. Instead I would like to order the defendant, Nelson Rattaganz gets a berry for each sibling (next time it's berry day). I believe he will be sharing this time based off his apology.

I would like to enter into records the apology of Mr. N Rattaganz: squee squee squee. Squeak squea squee squee.

To all three of you....thank you for reminding this court about compassion.

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

Is the defendant, Nelson Rattaganz, guilty of eating the only blackberry and not letting his brothers share?

Exhibit a) testimony from his brothers, Ghal Maraz, and Placenta Rattaganz

Placenta: “squee squeak squee SQUEE”

Ghal Maraz: Squee squee squick squeak!

Exhibit b)

The perpetrator has been caught red handed and mouthed! His face and hands are clearly covered in the berry’s juice!!

At first I considered a guilty verdict but the testimony from the brothers, Placenta Rattaganz and Ghal Maraz has moved this court. My heart goes out to these young men.........I don't usually tear up during trial, sorry.

Verdict: Not Guilty. Nelson, I just wanted to say your brothers have beautiful souls. To forgive you for eating the only blackberry is truly an act of rat compassion. The brothers mentioned that it was unfair for them to not have their own blackberries. How the system let them down. The court agrees. I cannot legally order you to each get a black berry in this case, as you're not defendants. Instead I would like to order the defendant, Nelson Rattaganz gets a berry for each sibling (next time it's berry day). I believe he will be sharing this time based off his apology.

I would like to enter into records the apology of Mr. N Rattaganz: squee squee squee. Squeak squea squee squee.

To all three of you....thank you for reminding this court about compassion.

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

I'm sorry what is she being charged with? I am detecting an innocent rat here.

She was banished to the corner of silence for her crimes against ratkind.

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

Is Placenta Rattaganz guilty of peeing on me?

Exhibit a) moments before disaster

Exhibit b) the aftermath

There was also pee on my arm but it didn’t show up on camera

The court seeks the expert testimony of Dr. Charles Ratatos, an expert in rat urology. Dr. Ratatos, in your own words please explain to the court what we are seeing.

Dr. Ratatos: Squeak Squea Squeak Squeak. Squeak Squea Exhibit C squeak squee yellow. Squeaku squeak squee iridium.

Exhibit C up close:

Verdict: Not Guilty. As the esteemed Dr. Ratatos put it. Pee is yellow. This is iridium. Prosecution has failed to provide evidence that this is pee. For all we know, you spilled some water and wanted to blame it on an innocent rat. Outrageous! The court hereby asks the defendant be treated to a nice, relaxing pea fishing trip, away from it all (with guests of his choosing). If pea fishing cannot be provided, a cardboard tube will suffice.

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

Justice has been served!

Are the defendants Placenta, and his brother, repeat offender, Ghal Maraz Rattaganz, guilty of attempting to escape the temporary cage while their home is being cleaned?

Exhibit a)

Exhibit b)

Let it be known that while the temporary cage is smaller than their usual abode, it has all of their toys, as well as a cucumber, their water, and many snacks, so these rats are simply escaping for the sake of escape

The evidence is quite damning. It does appear both defendants, Mr Placenta and Mr Rattaganz are breaking the law.

Verdict: Not Guilty. It is the court's belief that these two were not attempting to "escape". Rather, these two wished to be closer to their favorite person. The court demands you hold them close and give them lots of love today.

Besides if we sent them to prison these two would clearly just escape.

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

Are the defendants Placenta, and his brother, repeat offender, Ghal Maraz Rattaganz, guilty of attempting to escape the temporary cage while their home is being cleaned?

Exhibit a)

Exhibit b)

Let it be known that while the temporary cage is smaller than their usual abode, it has all of their toys, as well as a cucumber, their water, and many snacks, so these rats are simply escaping for the sake of escape

The evidence is quite damning. It does appear both defendants, Mr Placenta and Mr Rattaganz are breaking the law.

Verdict: Not Guilty. It is the court's belief that these two were not attempting to "escape". Rather, these two wished to be closer to their favorite person. The court demands you hold them close and give them lots of love today.

Besides if we sent them to prison these two would clearly just escape.

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

The photo is slightly blurry, but the prosecution believes it provides sufficient evidence that Vincenzo is chewing up the plastic wall of the free roam area

The court is going to need an expert's opinion on this one. Professor Dr. Kiwi, a leading expert in zoom science and eating things, please explain what we are seeing.

Professor Dr. Kiwi: Squeak Squea Squeak Squea Squeak Squeak Squea. Squeak Squea Vincenzo squeak squeak.

Verdict Not Guilty. As Professor Dr. Kiwi has pointed out. The defendant's mouth is nowhere near any plastic walls. The defendant, the wonderful and innocent Vincenzo, is merely grooming themselves. The court demands Vincenzo gets more time in the free roam area without judgement and two treats (preferably not plastic).

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

Is the defendant, Ghal Maraz “Little Whiner” Rattaganz, guilty of watching brain rot?

Exhibit A)

The court finds the evidence to be quite damning.

Verdict: Guilty. Mr. Rattaganz, I hope you take this opportunity to change your life around. Since this is your first conviction, I will go easy on you. The court orders 5 minutes of being in the room while an educational program is playing and 2 snoot boops.

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

Are these rats, Nigel (top), Placenta (left), and Nelson (right) guilty of wrecking their cage?

The prosecution has multiple eye witnesses who claim the cage had just been cleaned, when these three toppled the food bowl, and spread their food all around.

The Court requests expert testimony on these claims. Professor Whiskers, you're an expert in the field of cage demolition reconstruction and environmental sciences. Please explain to the court what we are seeing here.

Let the record show that Professor Whiskers said: Squee squeak squ Nigel squeak squee. Squeak Squea Squeak. Squeak Squeak Squea Squeak.

Verdict: Not Guilty. As Professor Whiskers pointed out, the defendants were trying to enjoy a lovely meal, when all the sudden their bowl tipped over. This was human error and not rat error. The bowl is wider at the top than the bottom. It was not designed for feeding rats. The defendants are also seen picking up after the human.

The court hereby orders a new bowl installed at your earliest convenience. This will save the establishment some trouble down the line and provide a more stable access to food for these young gentlemen.

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

Is the defendant (Placenta) (hooded rat with brown hood) guilty of stealing a cucumber?

Exhibit A)

The defense pleads not guilty, stating exhibit b)

He is just a baby

The court finds that the defendant, Mr. Placenta, has in no way been proven to be guilty of stealing any cucumbers. Through the evidence, we clearly see someone handing him the cucumber in question. He is also respectfully eating only a tiny portion of it. The rat to the left of him appears calm...as if no crime is being committed. Said rat is also partaking in the feast and yet wasn't charged? Mr. Placenta has very likely been framed.

Verdict: Not Guilty. The court strongly suggests that Mr. Placenta consult a lawyer to consider a suit against the department who charged him. I suspect a form of profiling was involved in this case. Despite clear evidence of two suspects, only one was charged, suspiciously the one wearing a hoodie... Last I checked, this is still Rataria and it's not a crime to wear a hoodie. You have my sincere apologies for this grave injustice Mr. Placenta.

The court also orders Mr. Placenta to be given another slice of cucumber (or equivalent snack).

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

Nice to see rat crime rates are down. Must be the D.A.R.E. (Don't Ask Rats For Evil ) program in action!

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

He peed on the couch

False accusations. No proof of pee. No proof you even own a couch. Also he has the face of an innocent rat.

Verdict: Not guilty.

Ordering the plaintiff (you) to give the defendant (the innocent rat) a snack for emotional distress.

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

Is this baby guilty of sleeping in her own poop?

Exhibit a)

That's some pretty strong evidence. It could be another rat's poop, but the court feels the underlying crime is lying in poop in general. It appears the poor girl just got too pooped out.

Verdict: Guilty

I sentence her to 3 snoot boops.

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

About This Court:

She/her/your honor

"I believe you should be judged by a jury of your peers" - Judge Rattus

Send in cases of rat crimes for me to Judge. Be sure to include what you think the rat or rats are guilty of. If you would like to sway my opinion please include evidence. Feel free to reblog with more evidence if you want to appeal.

Example:

Did this rat eat the cheese?

Exhibit A