the-idealistic-pessimist-blog - Tumblr blog

[the-idealistic-pessimist-blog]

Anyone else a nice person who trusts the wrong people?

[the-idealistic-pessimist-blog]

If I die, please bury me with lots of cigarettes and booze..

[the-idealistic-pessimist-blog]

My grandpa is in hospital and i honestly have no idea how I would survive if he died 😔

[the-idealistic-pessimist-blog]

I am sad and I know why but I can't say why because I'm an introvert and I don't like to cause caos.

[the-idealistic-pessimist-blog]

I need a serious overhaul of my friends

[the-idealistic-pessimist-blog]

I had some damn good sex last night, ain't gonna lie.

[the-idealistic-pessimist-blog]

So I've been struggling recently. I'm stuck between being content with my life and being utterly consumed by depression. It's like I'm looking at my life from behind a one way mirror and all I want to do is change it but the other part of me on the other side of the glass, can't see me, so I'm just stuck behind the glass screaming and there is nothing I can do.

[the-idealistic-pessimist-blog]

So it turns out that I'm lonelier then I expected but also strangely content..

[the-idealistic-pessimist-blog]

I've never been afraid of clowns

I've never been afraid of clowns but could they seriously just fuck off? I mean, what is this all about? Is is all just to scare people? If so, mission accomplished. This shit is scary and it is scaring people all over the world. It's finally spread to where I live and I swear to whatever higher power there is, if I see a fucking clown lurking about near me, I will punch it in its evil creepy face!

[the-idealistic-pessimist-blog]

My roommate and her girlfriend got a cat..

My roommate and her girlfriend got a cat, I haven't met it yet. Their cat is apparently incredibly shy. His name is Quinten (or however it is spelled) and they adopted him from a shelter. He has been hiding under their bed all day.. come out kitty kitty...

[the-idealistic-pessimist-blog]

I was feeling lonely..

I was feeling lonely so I knocked on my roommates door and I'm now watching my roommate and her girlfriend play COD. I'm not as lonely but still feeling somehow less.

[the-idealistic-pessimist-blog]

I feel calmest when..

I feel calmest when I hear the pitter patter of rain outside.

[the-idealistic-pessimist-blog]

Sometimes things are good

Sometimes things are good. Right now my roommate and I are cooking dinner together and it is really nice. It's a nice time and I feel content.

[the-idealistic-pessimist-blog]

Loneliness & Roomates

I can hear my roommate and her girlfriend having sex and it’s the worst. I am alone and although they live with me, I don’t see them very often. I’m mostly left to myself and they stay in their room all day, not really doing anything except to come out to feed and make a mess. Despite their laziness and messiness, they can be quite good people. They fuck a lot, are affectionate a lot and are very very opinionated about other peoples “relationships”, namely me.

See, I say I’m alone but I do have a guy I’ve been seeing occasionally for a few months now. We’re not together but we are exclusive. This however is not good enough for my roommate and her girlfriend. To them it’s is basically be in a relationship and be in love or your feelings for another person aren’t really valid, so I don’t really have anyone to talk to about these things.

As I said, I don’t really see him that often, which means I’m quite often alone. With my roommates tucked away in their room or even when they do hang around with me (rarely), I get suddenly lonely and sad. I’m not gonna lie, seeing and hearing them be so affectionate all the time makes me sad and jealous and lonely..

I want that too.. I want the love and affection..

[the-idealistic-pessimist-blog]

I feel lost is a chaotic sea of darkness coupled with a beach of loneliness